Introducing! The "Peaceful Protesters" Travel Service!

I am so very pleased to announce the advent of my new Chuckmeister "Peaceful Protesters" Travel Service!

Yes, friends and neighbors, today, right now, you can avail yourself of my brand-new travel service, designed to take you, the adventurous traveler, to some of our more exciting and educational destinations around America these days!  

Our first destination will be Portland, OreGone.  Portland, as you may know, has been experiencing some of of our largest protests of late.  Actually, Portland has been under siege from the "Antifa" anarchists for years, but they've only recently increased their pillaging and plundering to a new and unprecedented level!  And YOU can sign up to see it all for yourself, up close and dangerously personal, while they're still breaking things and attacking people!  

A tour of Seattle will be offered next, as will Chicago, New York City, Baltimore and Kansas City, so be sure and watch this space for the future announcements as to dates and times.   

We are offering a 3-day, 2-night bus tour of (used-to-be) beautiful downtown Portland.   It's pretty well a burned-out shell of its former greatness now, but there's still some buildings left to loot.  All lodging, meals, tips and baggage transfers included.  We'll be offering several special, extra-cost tours for your travelling pleasure.  They're listed as follows:

      -  A Cruise Around Puget Sound:  We'll be hosting an evening cruise, with snacks and cocktails provided.  A seminar will be offered by one or more of the founders of "Antifa," explaining why cops are evil, White people are all racists and reparations are absolutely necessary.  

        Our guide for the evening will be either Alicia Garza, or Patrisse Cullers, or Opel Temeti.  All are "Antifa" founders and all are, per their website bios, "trained Marxists." 

        Cullers wishes you to know that she identifies as "queer" and is married to Jamaya Kohn, also known as "Future," who also identifies as "queer" and "gender nonconforming."  Alicia also identifies as "queer" and is married to a transgender "man," Malachi Garza.  They'd like you to know that their Number One fondest wish is to eliminate White Christian men from America.  They'll tell you all about their plans to destroy America as you sip tequila sunrise cocktails while watching the sun goes down.  
   
     -  Rioting, Looting and Anarchy:  For a slight extra fee you'll be able to fit right in with the mob and throw stuff at the cops just like those "peaceful protesters" you hear about on Fox and OANN (CNN, MSNBC and the Alphabet Media do not cover these protests as they do not fit their ideological perspective or narrative).  You'll be provided with your own baseball bat, 3 frozen plastic water bottles, a laser pointer and two nice new red bricks.  Brick throwing lessons will be provided by "Antifa" organizers for anyone who needs them at no extra charge.  

     -  Statue toppling:  If you're lucky you'll be in Portland on a night when a statue is toppled!  Yes, fellow travelers, watching a good statue toppling is not to be missed!  It's kind of like the opposite of an Amish barn raising, with black-clad, masked vandals and marauders tearing things down instead of building them up.  That's kind of like what they're doing to America today.  Lessons in statue toppling will be provided if you wish to participate.

     NOTE:  You'll be pleased to know that we'll be offering gas masks for each of our clients.  Please be sure to wear comfortable shoes, as you might have to run for your lives at any point.  Protest signs are available, or you can decide to make your own (poster board and Sharpies provided).  You must have your Advance Directive in place (please provide us with a copy).  DO NOT wear your MAGA hat.  Given that travelling to Portland is like visiting a war zone, the Management takes no responsibility AT ALL for the health and/or welfare of our guests.  No weapons are allowed, except for those we provide (guns may be used only by the "peaceful protesters").

Invitations have been sent to Governor Kate Brown and Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler to come and join us, but as yet our calls haven't been returned.   

So get on board, fellow travelers!  So call "1-800 PRO-TEST" today for pricing and to make your reservations.  Space is limited and, as always, first-come, first-served.  The bus only holds 55 adventurous travelers so don't be disappointed.  Be the first on your block to take your life in your own hands and join us for a trip to Caracas in America!

P.S.  There will be a "brick signing" by "Antifa" founders for a slight extra fee.