Saturday, December 29, 2018

Finally! Moonbeam's Climate Cure!

Those few of you who haven't as yet left California are gonna' be reeeeely off put about "Moonbeam" Brown's latest boondoggle.

You know we're already trying to work our way through his little "Bullet Train," a mode of transportation that will take you from a place you don't want to be (Barstow), to a place no one wants to go (Modesto).  It was supposed to take us from LA to San Fran in two and one-half hours, at a cost of less than you would pay to fly.  Now you'll have to take a train to get to the train, and then take another train after you take the first train to get where you want to go.  

Oh yeah.  Gummint fails again...

Now, a decade later, the original cost of $33 Billion has balooooooned to more than $100 Billion!  How's CA gonna' pay for it?  Good question.  

And the expected travel time has increased to more than 10 and one-half hours!  Plus, the expected cost has more than quadrupled!  And, after all this investment, you still can't get on this choo-choo and take a ride!

Now, with many, many boondoggles in between, Brown has up and done it again.  He's leading the charge to have CA launch its own satellite!  

Those of you who don't pay attention to such things need to know that Brown, our civil servant-for-life, an 80 year-old guy who's never had a private-sector job, will soon retire a multi-millionaire from decades of "public service."  He's been a rabid proponent of "global warming," or "climate change," or "climate chaos," or "weather," or whatever you'd like to call it, for decades, all the way back to the '70s.  He believes that we'll all roast in a fiery Hell if we don't change our ways and stop driving SUV's.  He believes we're doomed unless we act fast and pay loads of new taxes to somehow stop, and then reverse, this "global warming" wet dream he shares with other dimbulbs.  

And, significantly, he also believes that California can change the whole Magilla all by its lonesome. 

Somehow unaware that China and India, home to more than one-half of the world's more than 7 Billion residents, are each opening a brand-new coal-fired electricity generation plant every week, Brown stays blissfully unaware of this reality as he continues to pursue a "cure" for this manufactured crisis.    

These countries are spewing tons and tons of pollutants into the atmosphere daily.  And yet Brown seems not to know there's no 60,000 foot-tall Plexiglas wall preventing their pollution from travelling clockwise around the Earth and winding up in San Francisco a week later.  Funny, he must have missed that class while studying to become a Jesuit priest.  He failed at that too, BTW...

Brown somehow believes that he, and the otherwise unemployable more-equal-than-you in Sacrascrewyou, can cure the problem all by themselves!  

How?  Good question, Pilgrim.  He, and some other hipmotizzzzed true believes are going to launch their own weather, er, climate satellite!  Yes they are!  And it's supposed to be privately funded!  How nice!  How many among you actually believe that?  Remember when Brown's choo choo was supposed to be paid for out of Obama's $900 Billion Stimulus Package slush fund?  How'd that work out?

Yes, the Guv has wanted his very own satellite all the way back to the 1970's.  And now, supposedly launching in 2020 and sending back data in 2021 (why so long?), he'll have one.

The Good News is that this satellite is purported to find all the places in the world where methane is leaking into the atmosphere so that it can somehow be stopped.  Methane, he says, is the major source of greenhouse gas that heats up the Earth.  Didn't it used to be CO2?  Hmmm.  I don't know if he knows it or not, but we know that the major source of methane is from volcanoes.  I doubt Brown can fix that, no matter how many lefty billionaires he has on his side.  

A significant secondary source is from cattle and other farm animal flatulence.  Yes, farts!  About 20% of total atmospheric methane is from cows, the scientists tell us.  And Brown's little skybird will tell us that...which we already know.  So, unless we can convince China and India to stop polluting, and can plug the volcanoes, and stop eating meat, we'll likely be "plagued" by methane for some time to come.

But Brown will vacate his Governor's office knowing that he managed to blow - and waste - a few more $Billions on his way out the door...

Doncha' just love it when the Gummint tries to do for you what you don't need done?  Welcome to Taxifornia...

Saturday, December 22, 2018

So Here's The Plan...

Okay, friends, let's keep this quiet.

This missive only goes out to my closest compadres (that's somma' that Mexican lingo, doncha' know), so let's keep it on the Q.T.  This, the Plan, is finally finalized.  It's ready to put into action.  We're ready to launch.  And here goes...

Since California, the once-Golden State, has come down on the side of lawlessness and anarchy by declaring itself a "Sanctuary State," it was high-time to forge a Way Out.  I mean, releasing 61,000 hardened criminal felons and placing the public at peril, while doing everything they can to make it harder for us to buy and use guns to protect ourselves, surely appears to be a Declaration of War on us, the Unbelievers.  

Maybe those who live behind gates don't have to worry about their safety, but we peons do (more Spanish lingo).

Soooo, being the public servant-without-papers that I am, and knowing that there's a seeeerious problem here, I decided to check up on this whole situation and forge a solution.  Here's the facts:

Illegal aliens get drivers' licenses here.  Legal drivers' licenses for illegal drivers.  More than 850,000 last year alone.  More than the number issued to citizens.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.

If illegals get snagged at a traffic stop, their cars may not be towed.  No matter the infraction, speeding, drunk, stoned, no matter what, their cars aren't towed.  Ours would be, but theirs aren't.

Illegals get free professional licenses here.  And you need one of those critters to do damn near anything.  Braid hair?  Groom dogs?  Trim trees?  Give manicures?  You need a license.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.  

Illegals get free in-state tuition in CA.  Free.  We pay, they don't pay.  Seem fair to you?

Health care?  They get it free.  Annnnnd, as you're surely aware, we have to pay for ours, through the nose!  And one of the reasons ours is so very high, is because they get it free...

And last, but certainly not least, illegals get what's called a "deportation shield."  That means they can't be deported, no matter what, until the flurry of appeals have been launched by those who apparently don't believe our laws should be obeyed.

Now, anyone with any sense should certainly realize why illegals want to break in here so very badly.  Wouldn't you?  I mean, if an attractive nuisance is made so very attractive one cannot avoid being attracted, how could anyone blame them for taking advantage of the dimbulb shot-callers in Sacrascrewyou who dreamed up this steaming pile of crap?

And one could certainly realize that it's far, far better to be an illegal alien here than to be a put-upon citizen charged by the State with paying for them.

So, with little to lose, those of us who don't buy in to this whole progressive, redistributionistic, revisionistic, overregulatory and overtaxitory approach to running a railroad (not doing too well with that either, are they?), I decided a Plan was in order.  

First, we all meet at LAX.  Secretly.  We don't want to alert anyone to our Plan.  They might try to stop us.  

We then fly to El Paso.  We walk across the Freedom Bridge to Juarez.  We wade back across the Rio not-so-Grande, add a "Z" to our last names, turn ourselves in to the nearest border agent, and then ask for asylum from...CALIFORNIA!   

Let's see how the ACLU handles that one...

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

The Best Form of Gummint?

It's oft said that our system of Gummint is the very worst.  Except for all the others, that is...

I'd like to discuss that with you a bit.  Perhaps it isn't.  Perhaps our system is fatally flawed, and we're just too damn proud to admit it.  Perhaps we should reconsider it every now and again just to make sure that it's humming along like the fine-tuned watch it used to be.  With that in mind...

Think back:  In every instance that I can recall, we put countries which we defeated in wars, as well as allies left in need of help following those wars, back in business using a parliamentary form of government.

Not our bi-cameral, two-party system.  No siree, Bob!  Or whatever your name happens to be.  The generalized parliamentary system in use throughout the free world consists of several, and on up to 30 or 40 separate factions, or parties, that need to coalesce into a majority in order to gain the right per their rules to form and lead a government.  

Think Jolly Old England.  Or Canada.  Or South Africa.  A whole bunch of different "parties" are all gathered together in Parliament, led by the leading vote-getter.  That person is their Prime Minister.  Sort of like our President.  and the P.M. gains his/her office by cobbling together enough separate factions into their group to lead the pack.  Same in The Netherlands.  And Germany.  And Italy, Spain, Japan, Brazil, Israel, etc., etc.  

And it works.  Often better than our own.  And when it doesn't, which is often (they've elected more than 30 separate governments in Italy since the Big War), they throw up their hands and call for an election.  They're looking for a reaffirmation of support for the ruling cadre, or an invitation from the minority to hit the street.  And that election will take place following a verrrrry brief campaign period.  It's often as little as six months in Britain.  It can be as short as three months in Israel.   

Our system, alternatively, can - and does - take years.  We just witnessed such a monumental and boring waste of time, effort, energy and money unfold over the past year or so leading up to the mid-terms.  More than $One and One-Half Billion Dollars was spent on this past election.  It consisted mostly of unending advertising crap shoveled our way for an interminable period.  Jeeesh!

But it if worked it wouldn't be so bad; it often doesn't.  I hate to say it, but having watched our system "work" over many decades, or try to, I'm thinking it's in dire need of a refresh.  Examples?  Sure...

Think Obama.  His Party held the White House, the House of Representatives and the Senate for the first two years of his POTUS-hood.  Democrats hate guns.  They hate oil.  They love illegal immigrants.  Just a few of their core beliefs, which are not too many, but you get the idea.  So, in complete control of all the levers of power, did they pass legislation to ban guns, cure "global warming" and legalize all umpteen million illegals who are already here, along with those who might subsequently arrive?

No.  No, they didn't.

Think Trump.  His Party has held the White House, the House and the Senate since January, 2017.  That means they theoretically could bring up and pass any legislation their little hearts desired.  Trump ran on doing away with Obamacare.  And Building The Wall.  And ending unfettered illegal immigration.  As with the Dems there was a whole bunch of other stuff, but you get the idea.  Guess what?  Trump hasn't built the Wall, or ended Obamacare, or done much of any lasting thing to end the onslaught of illegal immigration that has redefined our country over the past several years.  Do you think these Glaring Failures might have had something to do with the Republicans' mid-term spanking?  

I certainly do...

Now, I could explain to you why Obama couldn't do what he wanted to do and Trump can't do what he wants to do.  Or, you could just Google it and learn the truth for yourself.  It's the inherent and often confounding rules and regulations and policies and procedures of our Two-Party system in the Congress, coupled with our hyper-partisan electorate, along with a terribly biased MainStreamMedia, that makes major change of any kind almost impossible to achieve.  And that leaves a lot of partisans pissed off.  

Including me.

Third parties don't work, either, so that's not the answer.  Had Perot chosen not to run in 1994, Bush #41 would have been elected POTUS for a second term, and Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton would have had to look elsewhere for interns.  And crusty old Bernie Sanders (D-VT) nearly sank Hillary's boat on the way to their nomination.  Third parties are also a waste of time and money.  No, I'm convinced we need to adopt a parliamentary system before our creaking old ship begins to sink.  

And considering that the level of partisanship and rancor around The Swamp these days has never been more acute, I fear the leak has already begun...

Friday, December 7, 2018

LivePD

So I pigged out on LivePD over the past couple of days.

Yes I did, Pilgrim.  It was raining, you see, and ex-Prez G.H.W. Bush died and it took a week to give him the send off he deserved.  I don't do funerals over an hour.  Anything past that will find me sneaking out the back of the church.  One could watch a week-long remembrance of this great man on TV, non-stop, 24/7, or you could do some other stuff you've been putting off for a rainy day.  And one of those things for me was to take a look at this whole LivePD phenomenon.  

Arts and Entertainment Channel, a cable network more focused on ghosts and the dead and seances and other spooky stuff, started following 7 or 8 county sheriffs and their staffs across the fruited plain, in 3 hour blocks each Friday and Saturday night.  So we, you and me, get to be the "fly on the dashboard" as deputies stop one car after another for various and sundry infractions, and race toward burglaries in progress, and solve all manner of domestic disputes.  

These police agencies, all but one being sheriffs departments, are located in SC, TX, MO, CA, OH and FL, to name but a few.  And all day Fri and Sat we can curl up by the fireplace, pour a nice snifter of the finest Napoleon brandy and watch the very dregs of our society break laws all willy nilly and be brought to justice by the fine, brave and hard-working members of the law enforcement community.

(Flag waves in background, accompanied by soft strains of America the Beautiful) 

One Dan Stein, ex-legal reporter for several broadcast channels, helms this noble enterprise.  He's flanked by super-cop Tom Morris Jr., ex-D.C. police investigator, and most usually by Sgt. Sean "Sticks" Larsen, team leader of Tulsa's Gang Unit.  So Dan deftly flits from one violation to another, like the true maestro he is, one car chase to another, one breaking and entering to another, and one domestic "he said, she said" to another for hours on end!

You do not need to change the channel!  No siree Bob!  All manner of reasons why you went to college and paid your bills and kept your nose clean will be paraded in front of you for hours.  The dregs of society you don't run into everyday, thank God, will be in plain view for all to see.  Drunks, migrants, ruffians, thieves, wife beaters, bank robbers, etc., etc.  And why, you might ask, does anyone watch this crap?

For the same reason people watch TV daytime soap operas, me thinks.  Because we like to see someone who's worse off than we are.  Somebody whose life has cratered, their husbands/wives/others have left them, they're addicted to meth/heroin/cocaine, you name it, the prosecuting attorney is knocking on the door and their boss has given them the pink slip.  Lives asunder!  Broken relationships!  Failed businesses!  And every single one of them is NOT GUILTY!  They say.  

Yes, we get to watch the rich and the famous go down in flames, right before our very eyes.  And the non-rich and not-so-famous.  It's just delicious!

And it's the very same with LivePD, and its spin-offs, PDCam and PDPolice Patrol.  So if you ever wanted to be a cop and just couldn't for some reason or other, or you just like to watch stupid idiots get caught for drunk driving or running drugs or bank robbery, you need to make this your guilty pleasure.

Some helpful hints to keep you off LivePD:

-     Make sure your license plate light works.  Every week some schulb gets pulled over for a burned out license plate light and winds up with 25 pounds of methamphetamine in the trunk.  The same with tinted windows or other obvious infractions.  No sense giving the "man" any unfair advantages.

-     If you're black, try not to invoke the name of Rodney King if pulled over for drunken driving.  Especially in the south.  You'll still go to jail, but perhaps with a concussion.

-     And speaking of drinking and driving, memorize the number of your local Uber, and then call it if you've had a few.  Don't just think about it; do it.  It could save you $10,000 and a lot of grief.  If you'd like to know what you face if you don't, watch LivePD.

-     About a third of the calls relate in one way or another to domestic disputes.  And cops are supposed to become social workers when they get such a call.  Try not to punch out your significant other or you'll wind up being my entertainment.  The patience these pros show while trying to unwind domestic disputes is truly inhuman.

-     And finally, running from the fuzz when the Blue Light comes on will compound the fracture, as Lucille Ball used to say.  They'll still get you, but you'll be a felon for evading, in addition to everything else.

Folks, we're not rich, and we didn't win the lottery, and our lives aren't great as they could be, but dammit!  We're better off than those poor ass**les, aren't we!

Yes, my friends, we are.  And that's why we need to give this offering a try.  Just an hour or two can make your life seem sooooooooo much better!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Wanna' Know Why...?

Ever wonder why the so-called MainStreamMedia (MSM) hates The Donald so much?

You know, the old-line, dinosaur, alphabet, yesterday's news, Left-wing Lap Dog Media?

Besides the fact that he's no longer a Democrat, I mean?  Remember, he was a Democrat for more than 40 years.  A reliable Democrat.  The fact that he left The Fold makes him even worse than a Republican who never knew the Democrat "Promised Land."

Kind of like an African-American deciding to decide for him/herself and vote according to their enlightened self-interest, instead of just skin color. 

No.  The fact is they hate him because he's the very first POTUS in the history of the United States of America who hasn't needed to kowtow to the MSM.  Heretofore, all Republican presidents needed to kiss the MSM's ass in the fervent hope that they might, just might...get some favorable press.  They usually didn't. Remember how skillfully the MSM filleted the Bushes for being..., ummm, well, Republicans?  And how they could do nothing but smile through clenched teeth?

Not The Donald!  He has his own printing press; his Twitter Feed!

Trump uses his Twitter account like a billy club to circumvent the MSM and speak directly with the 'Murican people.  A conversation they don't want him to have.  Because he might, just might, bring us around to his way of thinking.  And that's a fate worse than death to the weenies who infest the MSM.

Of course, it's always possible that the very same MSM that wishes him erased might just come around to his - and our - way of thinking.  But that's usually a misplaced wish.  Almost all journalists are Democrats.  They were likely born into a Democrat family.  They vote Democrat.  They give their money to Democrats.  Like 92% of them!  And that's by an NBC national poll!  Worse yet, they permit their political leanings to influence their reportage.  That, Pilgrim, is a no-no.

Doubt me?  Have you ever heard of a journalist starting a business?  Or hiring or managing anyone?  Or signing a check on its face?  Me neither...

So anyone expecting favorable treatment from these partisans is smoking some of those Anti-God cigarettes.  (Which are now legal, by the way.)  Not the bastion of Conservatism, they.  So the fact that they would dump on The Donald every chance they get isn't surprising.  In fact, any positive press he gets out of this MSM is a near miracle.

So, unlike all previous POTUS-ses-ses, this one conducts his own White House Communications Department.  24 hours a day.  To the chagrin and anger and vitriol of the entire Press Corps.  And if you need proof as to how the MSM views this turn of events, just watch NBC's sophomoric Jim Acosta accost the Press Secretary at the next Press briefing...

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Update From the Underground:

- C O N F I D E N T I A L -

...For Your Eyes Only... 

Command Bunker, Somewhere in Southern California

December 4, 2018

Fellow Patriots!

As I write this we're almost a month post-Election.  Our worst fears have been confirmed.  Although 7 House of Representative contests favored the Republicans when the polls closed, Voila!...within a few days enough "extra" votes had been found to tilt the election their way.  All seven.  All of them.  

This little "surprise" comes as a result of Assembly Bill 1921, the 2016 California law that made "Ballot Harvesting" legal.  A law, apparently, that no one knew about except the Democrats.  

What's ballot harvesting, you might ask?  This Machiavellian little jewel permits people to gather up all the votes they can from their friends and neighbors who just "couldn't make it to the polls," and then cast them on their behalf.  Ummm, yeah.  You go door to door and collect your neighbor's ballots and take them on down to the voting place.   

Or you go into your garage and collect your neighbor's ballots; his, and all 32 of his adult children... 

That, by the way, is a felony in at last three states.  It's called "cheating."  It's called "ballot box stuffing."  It's called "manufacturing votes."  In California it's called "being helpful."  

That's how more than 250,000 "extra" votes wound up getting dumped in bushel baskets at the County Recorder's Office within the proscribed post-election period.  

And that's how five Orange County Representative races which had been reliably Republican for decades, decades, and which had been close or trending for the Republican when the polls closed on Election Day, wound up turning Bright Blue within a few days.  They just "harvested" enough votes to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

And if they needed more, me thinks they would have found them.  

Funny.  I don't recall any election when the Democrat was leading at midnight on Election Day that wound up later losing to the Republican, do you?

I heard via the jungle drums that the Dems were surprised that the Republicans didn't do the very same thing, given that it's now legal.  I wonder that as well.  Perhaps there's no Republicans left in Sacrascrewyou to have noticed.

Anyway, this is on top of their "Jungle Primary" voting system, meaning that only the top two vote-getters in a primary race here will appear on the final ballot.  And in our case, those top two are always Democrats.  So we get to vote for the Democrat we don't like, or the Democrat we don't want, or just don't vote.  Which to them is just as good.  Creative, don't you think?  

Anyway, via these methods our once-Golden but now severely tarnished State has been completely subsumed by the Democrat Party.  47 of our 54 Assembly seats are now controlled by them.  That's waaaaay in excess of a supermajority.  That, coupled with the Dem supermajority in the Senate, means they can, and unfortunately do, conjure up and then pass without a single Republican vote the very most asininely stupid, ignorant and foolish laws.  And then they put them on our Lefty Guv's desk.  Which he promptly signs.

Our minority is now so minor (how minor are we?) we're now sort of like the Liberals' red-headed stepchild.  The Kurds in Iraq.  Capitalists in Cuba.  Christians in the Middle East.  Conservatives in Hollywood.  

So now, without a single Republican in Statewide office, we're girding our loins for the coming legislative onslaught.  We've already heard that they intend to ban legal, so-called "assault weapons," and then actually try to confiscate them.  Their dimbulb Rep. Eric Swalwell just offered up that if we refused to hand over our AR-15 Modern Sporting Rifles when they come for them, they'd be happy to nuke us.  Nuclear weapons!  

No kidding, he actually said that, along with a bunch of other uniquely idiotic pronouncements.  

To say that he, and most of his other unemployable sycophantic compadres, has never had an original thought would be an overstatement in the extreme.  But they now control all the levers of power.  And we're in deep kimchee...

But this will not be the only overreach they intend to take.  Increased taxes on the "rich," which means anyone who makes more than you do; and new and expanded "global warming cures" and the taxes to pay for them to insure we can "continue to breathe well into the next century;"  Of course, we'll all be broke, but we'll be able to breathe.  And electric cars will continue to get the love.  So much so that they'll likely outlaw your gas burner.  By as early as 2025.  Really.  Global warming and all that...  

And water rationing.  And new LGBTQMDXTCN favoritisms.  And required bathrooms for all the various genders and sexes.  And mandatory Welcome Wagon parties for newly-arrived illegal aliens.  And Who-Knows-What-Else? 

So I suggest we continue to prepare for the worst while they unleash their reign of terror.  I just called U-Haul and they're fresh out of stuff you can rent to make your escape.  Save your effort.  You're stuck.  But just think about how much fun we'll all have when a few bureaucrats in electric cars come a'callin' to gather up all our estimated ONE MILLION scary-looking ARs.  

Affordable entertainment is always in short supply, especially for old folks on a fixed income.  The future should provide us with more entertainment than we could have previously imagined.  

Remember, fellow Patriots, keep your heads down, your powder dry, and your radios turned to the emergency channels.  Future updates will be forthcoming as circumstances warrant.

Chuckmeister, out...