So Here's The Plan...

Okay, friends, let's keep this quiet.

This missive only goes out to my closest compadres (that's somma' that Mexican lingo, doncha' know), so let's keep it on the Q.T.  This, the Plan, is finally finalized.  It's ready to put into action.  We're ready to launch.  And here goes...

Since California, the once-Golden State, has come down on the side of lawlessness and anarchy by declaring itself a "Sanctuary State," it was high-time to forge a Way Out.  I mean, releasing 61,000 hardened criminal felons and placing the public at peril, while doing everything they can to make it harder for us to buy and use guns to protect ourselves, surely appears to be a Declaration of War on us, the Unbelievers.  

Maybe those who live behind gates don't have to worry about their safety, but we peons do (more Spanish lingo).

Soooo, being the public servant-without-papers that I am, and knowing that there's a seeeerious problem here, I decided to check up on this whole situation and forge a solution.  Here's the facts:

*  Illegal aliens get drivers' licenses here.  Legal drivers' licenses for illegal drivers.  More than 850,000 last year alone.  More than the number issued to citizens.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.

*  If illegals get snagged at a traffic stop, their cars may not be towed.  No matter the infraction, speeding, drunk, stoned, no matter what, their cars aren't towed.  Ours would be, but theirs aren't.

*  Illegals get free professional licenses here.  And you need one of those critters to do damn near anything.  Braid hair?  Groom dogs?  Trim trees?  Give manicures?  You need a license.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.  

*  Illegals get free in-state tuition in CA.  Free.  We pay, they don't pay.  Seem fair to you?

*  Health care?  They get it free.  Annnnnd, as you're surely aware, we have to pay for ours, through the nose!  And one of the reasons ours is so very high, is because they get it free...

*  And last, but certainly not least, illegals get what's called a "deportation shield."  That means they can't be deported, no matter what, until the flurry of appeals have been launched by those who apparently don't believe our laws should be obeyed.

Now, anyone with any sense should certainly realize why illegals want to break in here so very badly.  Wouldn't you?  I mean, if an attractive nuisance is made so very attractive one cannot avoid being attracted, how could anyone blame them for taking advantage of the dimbulb shot-callers in Sacrascrewyou who dreamed up this steaming pile of crap?

And one could certainly realize that it's far, far better to be an illegal alien here than to be a put-upon citizen charged by the State with paying for them.

So, with little to lose, those of us who don't buy in to this whole progressive, redistributionistic, revisionistic, overregulatory and overtaxitory approach to running a railroad (not doing too well with that either, are they?), I decided a Plan was in order.  

First, we all meet at LAX.  Secretly.  We don't want to alert anyone to our Plan.  They might try to stop us.  

We then fly to El Paso.  We walk across the Freedom Bridge to Juarez.  We wade back across the Rio not-so-Grande, add a "Z" to our last names, turn ourselves in to the nearest border agent, and then ask for asylum from...CALIFORNIA!   

Let's see how the ACLU handles that one...