Saturday, December 29, 2018

Finally! Moonbeam's Climate Cure!

Those few of you who haven't as yet left California are gonna' be reeeeely off put about "Moonbeam" Brown's latest boondoggle.

You know we're already trying to work our way through his little "Bullet Train," a mode of transportation that will take you from a place you don't want to be (Barstow), to a place no one wants to go (Modesto).  It was supposed to take us from LA to San Fran in two and one-half hours, at a cost of less than you would pay to fly.  Now you'll have to take a train to get to the train, and then take another train after you take the first train to get where you want to go.  

Oh yeah.  Gummint fails again...

Now, a decade later, the original cost of $33 Billion has balooooooned to more than $100 Billion!  How's CA gonna' pay for it?  Good question.  

And the expected travel time has increased to more than 10 and one-half hours!  Plus, the expected cost has more than quadrupled!  And, after all this investment, you still can't get on this choo-choo and take a ride!

Now, with many, many boondoggles in between, Brown has up and done it again.  He's leading the charge to have CA launch its own satellite!  

Those of you who don't pay attention to such things need to know that Brown, our civil servant-for-life, an 80 year-old guy who's never had a private-sector job, will soon retire a multi-millionaire from decades of "public service."  He's been a rabid proponent of "global warming," or "climate change," or "climate chaos," or "weather," or whatever you'd like to call it, for decades, all the way back to the '70s.  He believes that we'll all roast in a fiery Hell if we don't change our ways and stop driving SUV's.  He believes we're doomed unless we act fast and pay loads of new taxes to somehow stop, and then reverse, this "global warming" wet dream he shares with other dimbulbs.  

And, significantly, he also believes that California can change the whole Magilla all by its lonesome. 

Somehow unaware that China and India, home to more than one-half of the world's more than 7 Billion residents, are each opening a brand-new coal-fired electricity generation plant every week, Brown stays blissfully unaware of this reality as he continues to pursue a "cure" for this manufactured crisis.    

These countries are spewing tons and tons of pollutants into the atmosphere daily.  And yet Brown seems not to know there's no 60,000 foot-tall Plexiglas wall preventing their pollution from travelling clockwise around the Earth and winding up in San Francisco a week later.  Funny, he must have missed that class while studying to become a Jesuit priest.  He failed at that too, BTW...

Brown somehow believes that he, and the otherwise unemployable more-equal-than-you in Sacrascrewyou, can cure the problem all by themselves!  

How?  Good question, Pilgrim.  He, and some other hipmotizzzzed true believes are going to launch their own weather, er, climate satellite!  Yes they are!  And it's supposed to be privately funded!  How nice!  How many among you actually believe that?  Remember when Brown's choo choo was supposed to be paid for out of Obama's $900 Billion Stimulus Package slush fund?  How'd that work out?

Yes, the Guv has wanted his very own satellite all the way back to the 1970's.  And now, supposedly launching in 2020 and sending back data in 2021 (why so long?), he'll have one.

The Good News is that this satellite is purported to find all the places in the world where methane is leaking into the atmosphere so that it can somehow be stopped.  Methane, he says, is the major source of greenhouse gas that heats up the Earth.  Didn't it used to be CO2?  Hmmm.  I don't know if he knows it or not, but we know that the major source of methane is from volcanoes.  I doubt Brown can fix that, no matter how many lefty billionaires he has on his side.  

A significant secondary source is from cattle and other farm animal flatulence.  Yes, farts!  About 20% of total atmospheric methane is from cows, the scientists tell us.  And Brown's little skybird will tell us that...which we already know.  So, unless we can convince China and India to stop polluting, and can plug the volcanoes, and stop eating meat, we'll likely be "plagued" by methane for some time to come.

But Brown will vacate his Governor's office knowing that he managed to blow - and waste - a few more $Billions on his way out the door...

Doncha' just love it when the Gummint tries to do for you what you don't need done?  Welcome to Taxifornia...

Saturday, December 22, 2018

So Here's The Plan...

Okay, friends, let's keep this quiet.

This missive only goes out to my closest compadres (that's somma' that Mexican lingo, doncha' know), so let's keep it on the Q.T.  This, the Plan, is finally finalized.  It's ready to put into action.  We're ready to launch.  And here goes...

Since California, the once-Golden State, has come down on the side of lawlessness and anarchy by declaring itself a "Sanctuary State," it was high-time to forge a Way Out.  I mean, releasing 61,000 hardened criminal felons and placing the public at peril, while doing everything they can to make it harder for us to buy and use guns to protect ourselves, surely appears to be a Declaration of War on us, the Unbelievers.  

Maybe those who live behind gates don't have to worry about their safety, but we peons do (more Spanish lingo).

Soooo, being the public servant-without-papers that I am, and knowing that there's a seeeerious problem here, I decided to check up on this whole situation and forge a solution.  Here's the facts:

Illegal aliens get drivers' licenses here.  Legal drivers' licenses for illegal drivers.  More than 850,000 last year alone.  More than the number issued to citizens.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.

If illegals get snagged at a traffic stop, their cars may not be towed.  No matter the infraction, speeding, drunk, stoned, no matter what, their cars aren't towed.  Ours would be, but theirs aren't.

Illegals get free professional licenses here.  And you need one of those critters to do damn near anything.  Braid hair?  Groom dogs?  Trim trees?  Give manicures?  You need a license.  Theirs are free.  We pay for ours.  

Illegals get free in-state tuition in CA.  Free.  We pay, they don't pay.  Seem fair to you?

Health care?  They get it free.  Annnnnd, as you're surely aware, we have to pay for ours, through the nose!  And one of the reasons ours is so very high, is because they get it free...

And last, but certainly not least, illegals get what's called a "deportation shield."  That means they can't be deported, no matter what, until the flurry of appeals have been launched by those who apparently don't believe our laws should be obeyed.

Now, anyone with any sense should certainly realize why illegals want to break in here so very badly.  Wouldn't you?  I mean, if an attractive nuisance is made so very attractive one cannot avoid being attracted, how could anyone blame them for taking advantage of the dimbulb shot-callers in Sacrascrewyou who dreamed up this steaming pile of crap?

And one could certainly realize that it's far, far better to be an illegal alien here than to be a put-upon citizen charged by the State with paying for them.

So, with little to lose, those of us who don't buy in to this whole progressive, redistributionistic, revisionistic, overregulatory and overtaxitory approach to running a railroad (not doing too well with that either, are they?), I decided a Plan was in order.  

First, we all meet at LAX.  Secretly.  We don't want to alert anyone to our Plan.  They might try to stop us.  

We then fly to El Paso.  We walk across the Freedom Bridge to Juarez.  We wade back across the Rio not-so-Grande, add a "Z" to our last names, turn ourselves in to the nearest border agent, and then ask for asylum from...CALIFORNIA!   

Let's see how the ACLU handles that one...

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

The Best Form of Gummint?

It's oft said that our system of Gummint is the very worst.  Except for all the others, that is...

I'd like to discuss that with you a bit.  Perhaps it isn't.  Perhaps our system is fatally flawed, and we're just too damn proud to admit it.  Perhaps we should reconsider it every now and again just to make sure that it's humming along like the fine-tuned watch it used to be.  With that in mind...

Think back:  In every instance that I can recall, we put countries which we defeated in wars, as well as allies left in need of help following those wars, back in business using a parliamentary form of government.

Not our bi-cameral, two-party system.  No siree, Bob!  Or whatever your name happens to be.  The generalized parliamentary system in use throughout the free world consists of several, and on up to 30 or 40 separate factions, or parties, that need to coalesce into a majority in order to gain the right per their rules to form and lead a government.  

Think Jolly Old England.  Or Canada.  Or South Africa.  A whole bunch of different "parties" are all gathered together in Parliament, led by the leading vote-getter.  That person is their Prime Minister.  Sort of like our President.  and the P.M. gains his/her office by cobbling together enough separate factions into their group to lead the pack.  Same in The Netherlands.  And Germany.  And Italy, Spain, Japan, Brazil, Israel, etc., etc.  

And it works.  Often better than our own.  And when it doesn't, which is often (they've elected more than 30 separate governments in Italy since the Big War), they throw up their hands and call for an election.  They're looking for a reaffirmation of support for the ruling cadre, or an invitation from the minority to hit the street.  And that election will take place following a verrrrry brief campaign period.  It's often as little as six months in Britain.  It can be as short as three months in Israel.   

Our system, alternatively, can - and does - take years.  We just witnessed such a monumental and boring waste of time, effort, energy and money unfold over the past year or so leading up to the mid-terms.  More than $One and One-Half Billion Dollars was spent on this past election.  It consisted mostly of unending advertising crap shoveled our way for an interminable period.  Jeeesh!

But it if worked it wouldn't be so bad; it often doesn't.  I hate to say it, but having watched our system "work" over many decades, or try to, I'm thinking it's in dire need of a refresh.  Examples?  Sure...

Think Obama.  His Party held the White House, the House of Representatives and the Senate for the first two years of his POTUS-hood.  Democrats hate guns.  They hate oil.  They love illegal immigrants.  Just a few of their core beliefs, which are not too many, but you get the idea.  So, in complete control of all the levers of power, did they pass legislation to ban guns, cure "global warming" and legalize all umpteen million illegals who are already here, along with those who might subsequently arrive?

No.  No, they didn't.

Think Trump.  His Party has held the White House, the House and the Senate since January, 2017.  That means they theoretically could bring up and pass any legislation their little hearts desired.  Trump ran on doing away with Obamacare.  And Building The Wall.  And ending unfettered illegal immigration.  As with the Dems there was a whole bunch of other stuff, but you get the idea.  Guess what?  Trump hasn't built the Wall, or ended Obamacare, or done much of any lasting thing to end the onslaught of illegal immigration that has redefined our country over the past several years.  Do you think these Glaring Failures might have had something to do with the Republicans' mid-term spanking?  

I certainly do...

Now, I could explain to you why Obama couldn't do what he wanted to do and Trump can't do what he wants to do.  Or, you could just Google it and learn the truth for yourself.  It's the inherent and often confounding rules and regulations and policies and procedures of our Two-Party system in the Congress, coupled with our hyper-partisan electorate, along with a terribly biased MainStreamMedia, that makes major change of any kind almost impossible to achieve.  And that leaves a lot of partisans pissed off.  

Including me.

Third parties don't work, either, so that's not the answer.  Had Perot chosen not to run in 1994, Bush #41 would have been elected POTUS for a second term, and Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton would have had to look elsewhere for interns.  And crusty old Bernie Sanders (D-VT) nearly sank Hillary's boat on the way to their nomination.  Third parties are also a waste of time and money.  No, I'm convinced we need to adopt a parliamentary system before our creaking old ship begins to sink.  

And considering that the level of partisanship and rancor around The Swamp these days has never been more acute, I fear the leak has already begun...

Friday, December 7, 2018

LivePD

So I pigged out on LivePD over the past couple of days.

Yes I did, Pilgrim.  It was raining, you see, and ex-Prez G.H.W. Bush died and it took a week to give him the send off he deserved.  I don't do funerals over an hour.  Anything past that will find me sneaking out the back of the church.  One could watch a week-long remembrance of this great man on TV, non-stop, 24/7, or you could do some other stuff you've been putting off for a rainy day.  And one of those things for me was to take a look at this whole LivePD phenomenon.  

Arts and Entertainment Channel, a cable network more focused on ghosts and the dead and seances and other spooky stuff, started following 7 or 8 county sheriffs and their staffs across the fruited plain, in 3 hour blocks each Friday and Saturday night.  So we, you and me, get to be the "fly on the dashboard" as deputies stop one car after another for various and sundry infractions, and race toward burglaries in progress, and solve all manner of domestic disputes.  

These police agencies, all but one being sheriffs departments, are located in SC, TX, MO, CA, OH and FL, to name but a few.  And all day Fri and Sat we can curl up by the fireplace, pour a nice snifter of the finest Napoleon brandy and watch the very dregs of our society break laws all willy nilly and be brought to justice by the fine, brave and hard-working members of the law enforcement community.

(Flag waves in background, accompanied by soft strains of America the Beautiful) 

One Dan Stein, ex-legal reporter for several broadcast channels, helms this noble enterprise.  He's flanked by super-cop Tom Morris Jr., ex-D.C. police investigator, and most usually by Sgt. Sean "Sticks" Larsen, team leader of Tulsa's Gang Unit.  So Dan deftly flits from one violation to another, like the true maestro he is, one car chase to another, one breaking and entering to another, and one domestic "he said, she said" to another for hours on end!

You do not need to change the channel!  No siree Bob!  All manner of reasons why you went to college and paid your bills and kept your nose clean will be paraded in front of you for hours.  The dregs of society you don't run into everyday, thank God, will be in plain view for all to see.  Drunks, migrants, ruffians, thieves, wife beaters, bank robbers, etc., etc.  And why, you might ask, does anyone watch this crap?

For the same reason people watch TV daytime soap operas, me thinks.  Because we like to see someone who's worse off than we are.  Somebody whose life has cratered, their husbands/wives/others have left them, they're addicted to meth/heroin/cocaine, you name it, the prosecuting attorney is knocking on the door and their boss has given them the pink slip.  Lives asunder!  Broken relationships!  Failed businesses!  And every single one of them is NOT GUILTY!  They say.  

Yes, we get to watch the rich and the famous go down in flames, right before our very eyes.  And the non-rich and not-so-famous.  It's just delicious!

And it's the very same with LivePD, and its spin-offs, PDCam and PDPolice Patrol.  So if you ever wanted to be a cop and just couldn't for some reason or other, or you just like to watch stupid idiots get caught for drunk driving or running drugs or bank robbery, you need to make this your guilty pleasure.

Some helpful hints to keep you off LivePD:

-     Make sure your license plate light works.  Every week some schulb gets pulled over for a burned out license plate light and winds up with 25 pounds of methamphetamine in the trunk.  The same with tinted windows or other obvious infractions.  No sense giving the "man" any unfair advantages.

-     If you're black, try not to invoke the name of Rodney King if pulled over for drunken driving.  Especially in the south.  You'll still go to jail, but perhaps with a concussion.

-     And speaking of drinking and driving, memorize the number of your local Uber, and then call it if you've had a few.  Don't just think about it; do it.  It could save you $10,000 and a lot of grief.  If you'd like to know what you face if you don't, watch LivePD.

-     About a third of the calls relate in one way or another to domestic disputes.  And cops are supposed to become social workers when they get such a call.  Try not to punch out your significant other or you'll wind up being my entertainment.  The patience these pros show while trying to unwind domestic disputes is truly inhuman.

-     And finally, running from the fuzz when the Blue Light comes on will compound the fracture, as Lucille Ball used to say.  They'll still get you, but you'll be a felon for evading, in addition to everything else.

Folks, we're not rich, and we didn't win the lottery, and our lives aren't great as they could be, but dammit!  We're better off than those poor ass**les, aren't we!

Yes, my friends, we are.  And that's why we need to give this offering a try.  Just an hour or two can make your life seem sooooooooo much better!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Wanna' Know Why...?

Ever wonder why the so-called MainStreamMedia (MSM) hates The Donald so much?

You know, the old-line, dinosaur, alphabet, yesterday's news, Left-wing Lap Dog Media?

Besides the fact that he's no longer a Democrat, I mean?  Remember, he was a Democrat for more than 40 years.  A reliable Democrat.  The fact that he left The Fold makes him even worse than a Republican who never knew the Democrat "Promised Land."

Kind of like an African-American deciding to decide for him/herself and vote according to their enlightened self-interest, instead of just skin color. 

No.  The fact is they hate him because he's the very first POTUS in the history of the United States of America who hasn't needed to kowtow to the MSM.  Heretofore, all Republican presidents needed to kiss the MSM's ass in the fervent hope that they might, just might...get some favorable press.  They usually didn't. Remember how skillfully the MSM filleted the Bushes for being..., ummm, well, Republicans?  And how they could do nothing but smile through clenched teeth?

Not The Donald!  He has his own printing press; his Twitter Feed!

Trump uses his Twitter account like a billy club to circumvent the MSM and speak directly with the 'Murican people.  A conversation they don't want him to have.  Because he might, just might, bring us around to his way of thinking.  And that's a fate worse than death to the weenies who infest the MSM.

Of course, it's always possible that the very same MSM that wishes him erased might just come around to his - and our - way of thinking.  But that's usually a misplaced wish.  Almost all journalists are Democrats.  They were likely born into a Democrat family.  They vote Democrat.  They give their money to Democrats.  Like 92% of them!  And that's by an NBC national poll!  Worse yet, they permit their political leanings to influence their reportage.  That, Pilgrim, is a no-no.

Doubt me?  Have you ever heard of a journalist starting a business?  Or hiring or managing anyone?  Or signing a check on its face?  Me neither...

So anyone expecting favorable treatment from these partisans is smoking some of those Anti-God cigarettes.  (Which are now legal, by the way.)  Not the bastion of Conservatism, they.  So the fact that they would dump on The Donald every chance they get isn't surprising.  In fact, any positive press he gets out of this MSM is a near miracle.

So, unlike all previous POTUS-ses-ses, this one conducts his own White House Communications Department.  24 hours a day.  To the chagrin and anger and vitriol of the entire Press Corps.  And if you need proof as to how the MSM views this turn of events, just watch NBC's sophomoric Jim Acosta accost the Press Secretary at the next Press briefing...

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Update From the Underground:

- C O N F I D E N T I A L -

...For Your Eyes Only... 

Command Bunker, Somewhere in Southern California

December 4, 2018

Fellow Patriots!

As I write this we're almost a month post-Election.  Our worst fears have been confirmed.  Although 7 House of Representative contests favored the Republicans when the polls closed, Voila!...within a few days enough "extra" votes had been found to tilt the election their way.  All seven.  All of them.  

This little "surprise" comes as a result of Assembly Bill 1921, the 2016 California law that made "Ballot Harvesting" legal.  A law, apparently, that no one knew about except the Democrats.  

What's ballot harvesting, you might ask?  This Machiavellian little jewel permits people to gather up all the votes they can from their friends and neighbors who just "couldn't make it to the polls," and then cast them on their behalf.  Ummm, yeah.  You go door to door and collect your neighbor's ballots and take them on down to the voting place.   

Or you go into your garage and collect your neighbor's ballots; his, and all 32 of his adult children... 

That, by the way, is a felony in at last three states.  It's called "cheating."  It's called "ballot box stuffing."  It's called "manufacturing votes."  In California it's called "being helpful."  

That's how more than 250,000 "extra" votes wound up getting dumped in bushel baskets at the County Recorder's Office within the proscribed post-election period.  

And that's how five Orange County Representative races which had been reliably Republican for decades, decades, and which had been close or trending for the Republican when the polls closed on Election Day, wound up turning Bright Blue within a few days.  They just "harvested" enough votes to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

And if they needed more, me thinks they would have found them.  

Funny.  I don't recall any election when the Democrat was leading at midnight on Election Day that wound up later losing to the Republican, do you?

I heard via the jungle drums that the Dems were surprised that the Republicans didn't do the very same thing, given that it's now legal.  I wonder that as well.  Perhaps there's no Republicans left in Sacrascrewyou to have noticed.

Anyway, this is on top of their "Jungle Primary" voting system, meaning that only the top two vote-getters in a primary race here will appear on the final ballot.  And in our case, those top two are always Democrats.  So we get to vote for the Democrat we don't like, or the Democrat we don't want, or just don't vote.  Which to them is just as good.  Creative, don't you think?  

Anyway, via these methods our once-Golden but now severely tarnished State has been completely subsumed by the Democrat Party.  47 of our 54 Assembly seats are now controlled by them.  That's waaaaay in excess of a supermajority.  That, coupled with the Dem supermajority in the Senate, means they can, and unfortunately do, conjure up and then pass without a single Republican vote the very most asininely stupid, ignorant and foolish laws.  And then they put them on our Lefty Guv's desk.  Which he promptly signs.

Our minority is now so minor (how minor are we?) we're now sort of like the Liberals' red-headed stepchild.  The Kurds in Iraq.  Capitalists in Cuba.  Christians in the Middle East.  Conservatives in Hollywood.  

So now, without a single Republican in Statewide office, we're girding our loins for the coming legislative onslaught.  We've already heard that they intend to ban legal, so-called "assault weapons," and then actually try to confiscate them.  Their dimbulb Rep. Eric Swalwell just offered up that if we refused to hand over our AR-15 Modern Sporting Rifles when they come for them, they'd be happy to nuke us.  Nuclear weapons!  

No kidding, he actually said that, along with a bunch of other uniquely idiotic pronouncements.  

To say that he, and most of his other unemployable sycophantic compadres, has never had an original thought would be an overstatement in the extreme.  But they now control all the levers of power.  And we're in deep kimchee...

But this will not be the only overreach they intend to take.  Increased taxes on the "rich," which means anyone who makes more than you do; and new and expanded "global warming cures" and the taxes to pay for them to insure we can "continue to breathe well into the next century;"  Of course, we'll all be broke, but we'll be able to breathe.  And electric cars will continue to get the love.  So much so that they'll likely outlaw your gas burner.  By as early as 2025.  Really.  Global warming and all that...  

And water rationing.  And new LGBTQMDXTCN favoritisms.  And required bathrooms for all the various genders and sexes.  And mandatory Welcome Wagon parties for newly-arrived illegal aliens.  And Who-Knows-What-Else? 

So I suggest we continue to prepare for the worst while they unleash their reign of terror.  I just called U-Haul and they're fresh out of stuff you can rent to make your escape.  Save your effort.  You're stuck.  But just think about how much fun we'll all have when a few bureaucrats in electric cars come a'callin' to gather up all our estimated ONE MILLION scary-looking ARs.  

Affordable entertainment is always in short supply, especially for old folks on a fixed income.  The future should provide us with more entertainment than we could have previously imagined.  

Remember, fellow Patriots, keep your heads down, your powder dry, and your radios turned to the emergency channels.  Future updates will be forthcoming as circumstances warrant.

Chuckmeister, out...

Thursday, November 29, 2018

A New Plan for the Border...

"One ton tomata, I was a one ton tomaaaaay - taaa.  One ton tomaaaaaata, I was a one ton tomaaataaaaaa...

...Duh..."

Oh, excuuuuuse me!  I was singing one of those Mexican songs I love so much.  

I was just thinking, maybe it wasn't such a good idea for 'Murica to let Meheeeeko off the hook at the end of the Mexican-American War.  BTW, since we won, shouldn't it have been called the "American-Mexican War?"  Just askin...'

Anyhoo, we decided to just take the area north of the Border they called "Aztlan."  That's Meheeekan for "North of the Area The Gringos Claim as Their Border, but we all know it really isn't."  Actually, it could probably mean something else, but who knows?  The area we "settled" for following the War stretched all the way to San Francisco, east through UT and NV and downward through a chunk of OK and all the way to Brownsville, Tex-assss.  

Come to think of it, we could have just let them have San Francisco and wound up with a whole lot less trouble!  One of San Fran Nan's ancestors could have wound up as Speaker of the CA Assembly.  But hey, we could still carve it out even at this late date.  Maybe we could offer it to some (un)friendly socialist country.  Like China, say.  Hey Trump, build The Wall around San Fran!  Have to think about that one for awhile...

Back to the rant.  Since we kicked their collective arses, we could have just annexed Meheeeeko.  And they would have probably been better off it we had.  We all know Meheeeeko is owned and operated by about 500 old-line, gazillionaire patrician families, who've run this place into the ground for generations.  The rest of their poor people have little choice but to hire a coyote and make their way to The Promised Land!  And the folks who run that Country do everything they can to help them in that quest!  They even print maps to their "new country" and give them out to the "migrants" as they prepare to wade across the Rio Grande.  True.  Look it up.  

Just remember, the poor are Meheeeeko's Number. One. Export!  Before oil!  Before Volkswagens!  Before tortillas!  The Poor!  And they're damned good at it!  

If they don't have to feed them and we do, they win...

If you look at your handy Atlas, you'll find that Meheeeko claims 113,000,000 people; except about 25,000,000 or 40,000,000 of them have already moved here. I'd guess that number includes all their very, very poor, and all their very, very rich.  Try and get a table at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hilton; you'll likely find the tables all taken by expat Meheeeekano "royalty."

Anyway, there's still time left.  The economic "migrants" we call illegal aliens want in, and we're having to beat them off with a stick to keep them out.  If you take a hard look at Lost Angeles you'll get an idea what their idea of their "promised land" looks like.  And it's not pretty.  

Did you ever wonder why these "migrants" want to turn the place they "go" into the place they "left?"  We know that's true or the newly-welcomed "migrants" wouldn't be waving Meheeeekan and Guatemalan and Nicaraguan and El Salvadorean flags whenever the opportunity presents.  

So I suggest we just give it to them.  Just pack up and head south, to the area they're so anxious to leave.  Think of it.  Meheeeeeeko has about 4,000 miles of pristine shoreline.  Surf and sand and sun and waves.  And little else.  

Up and down the Baja, plus the Mainland.  4,000 miles.  Can you imagine how many luxury hotels we could build on 4,000 miles of tony beaches?  So, let's start all over.  And once we've begun to work our magic, again, I suggest we then build The Wall on that side of the Border to keep them out.  

Of Meheeeeeeko.

Just an idea.  Whaddaya think?

Monday, November 26, 2018

"Pre-Existing Conditions"

So I was gonna' rant..er..write about the hundreds of invaders from Somewhere South of the Border who did their dead-level best to storm past our San Ysidro International Border crossing yesterday.  Yup, as predicted, and promised, a reported 500 or so of those reeeely nice folks apparently grew tired of waiting to begin their American Dream.  So they decided to break in.  Without invitation or permission.  They mobbed the Border, throwing rocks and bottles at our guards, hoping to rush past them and get to their new jobs as nannies and lawn care experts for the Stars in Hollyweird.  

And our Border Protection forces responded by leveling pepper spray and tear gas their way.  Those of a Liberal persuasion were aghast, somehow forgetting that their hero B. Hussein Obama did the same thing back in 2013.  The gassing seemed to work, at least for now, as they were returned to Meheeeeko post-haste. 

Not knowing how to think about this occurrence, I immediately checked with the MainStreamMedia and CNN/MSNBC/NPR/PBS, but they told me it was nothing to worry about.  Just a few mommies and their hungry little children looking for a better life.  No caravan, no criminals.  So, feeling much better about the whole thing, I'll now return to my original subject for discussion.  Here goes...

Let's say for a moment you own a house.  Many do.  A really nice house.  One you've insured against fire, and theft, and all sorts of other potential hazards.  Everything except meteor strikes.  So you sleep well at night, knowing you're protected against nearly everything to the amount of loss you insured yourself against.  

And then let's say a meteor hits your house tomorrow.  And completely destroys it.  Nothing left.  Yuuuuge hole in the ground.  So, you call your State Farm representative and ask that he/she/it (gotta' remember California by adding the "it," you know) add "destruction due to meteor strike" to your policy, and then backdate it to the day before yesterday.

Ummm, what? 

Of course, the State Farm folks didn't factor meteor strikes into the premiums they agreed to charge you and you agreed to pay.  They only charged you for the risk associated with the potential losses I mentioned earlier.  So, your insurance company politely tells you to pound sand and you then file for bankruptcy.

Feces happens.

Now let's overlay this situation on healthcare.  You're well.  No health problems.  No history that would indicate to a health insurance company you represent any extraordinary risk.  So they "rate" you according to that reality.  And then they place you into a "pool" of like prospective clients, each presenting the same basic risk of loss to the company.  Whether that pool consists of 1,000 applicants, or 10,000, or perhaps 100,000, all represent the same relative risk profile to the insuror.  And remember...

...When you purchase insurance, you're betting the company that what you're insuring against will happen; they're betting it won't.

But what if you then contract cancer or some other debilitating and uber-expensive ailment?  You might find extreme difficulty in finding coverage, and then only at a much, much higher premium.  And you might find this to be unfair.  But life isn't fair.  And nobody said it would be.  Except for one Mr. Obama who told you he'd make Obamacare available, and somebody else would pay for it, and to hell with the insurance companies and their egregious profits.

But what Mr. Obama apparently didn't know, or knew but chose to hide from the 'Murican people (would he do that?), was that insurance companies cannot stay in business unless they can assess their risks and then apply dollar premiums that match that level of risk.  These insurors hire what's called "actuaries," who are sort of like uber-mathematicians, whose job it is to determine that risk.  

They also work for casinos.  They're the ones that determine the payouts on your slot machines, and the very same ones that make sure you lose.

But what if the plan all along was to weight down the insurance companies with unknown and unwanted risk, which could, and likely would, put them all out of business?  And then, Praise the Lord, the Good Ol' Gummint would be there, $Billions in hand, to step in and provide "Medicare for All."  Or, that's what they call it.  In truth, it would be "Medicare for None."  It would be socialized, "single-payor" medicine, and that's not the preferred model if quality care is desired.  

If you don't believe me, look up the statistics regarding Canadians who are right now laying in hospital beds across our Fruited Plain.  In 2016 fully 15% of Detroit's Henry Ford Hospital admissions hailed from Canada.  Hmmm.

But freebie healthcare can sure be attractive to those without it due to some pre-existing condition.  And certain weenie smarmy blow-dried politicians will be happy to promise it to you.    

Just vote for them in advance... 

Thursday, November 15, 2018

A Few Words To Live By...

The level of political discourse in our Great Country has never been at a lower ebb.

That old "my friends on the other side of the aisle," has somehow morphed into, "that old sexual pervert pedophile rapist burglar thief who cheats on his taxes and has the temerity to run against me, a patriot, for public office, simply must be taken out and horsewhipped."  

People are screaming at each other.  They are hounding folks out of restaurants and airports.  They are literally going nuts over anything and everything!  This has simply got to stop.  And in an effort to provide just a bit of a calming influence to the roiling waters, I'd like to pass along a saying given me to by an old Sunday School teacher friend:

"There's enough bad in the best of us, and good in the worst of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us."

So, The Chuckmeister passes this along to any of those out there in InternetLand who might be planning to act in a manner unbefitting a good neighbor and fellow American. 

Please don't.  It's not nice.

There.  I've fixed that problem.  What's next?

Monday, November 12, 2018

A Very Special Day...

November 12th.  A very special day, to my way of thinking.  

It's both my birthday, which is, ummm, pretty important to me, and it's Veterans Day, which is much more important.  To me and to everyone.  And I'd like to weigh in on both...

First, my birthday.  Three Score and Fifteen, I've attained.  A minor miracle!  I was a professional pool player for a time, you see, so I've backed out of more pool halls than most people have walked into.  Backed out of, as in, to try and keep body and soul together.  So growing more "seasoned" is quite an accomplishment.  One that permitted me to serve my country in uniform, get an education, meet my life partner, generate a fair-sized brood of fine daughters, and to hug my grand kids often.  

Big Time Stuff.

But it's also Veterans Day.  I was fortunate enough to serve in the Army back during that Vietnam "unpleasantness."  I didn't think the word "fortunate" applied back then, but I certainly do now.  Simply stated, it made me both a man and grew me up Right Now!  And I can tell you that the gigantic melting pot of mostly young males that it forced to live and work and fight and sometimes die together, changed the very fabric of our society for a generation.  

First because Blacks and Whites and Asians and Indians and everyone else got along just fine together, thank you.  That's because the guy on your left or your right just might just save your life someday.  Or you his.  So skin color somehow lost its cache, if you know what I mean.      

And second because it rekindled the same sense of patriotism that had been rampant across America immediately following WWII.  Pride in Country.  In the Flag.  In the Declaration and the Constitution and our Military and our First Responders.  Hot dogs and apple pie and picnics and parades and all that.  

A sense of patriotism I'm afraid we've since lost.  

And we lost it the day we stopped the draft.  The day we stopped forcing hundreds of thousands of young men of all color and background and economic circumstance and geographic location to sign up for the draft, no excuses, is the same day patriotism started to atrophy.  And maybe die.

Discontinuing the "homogenization" of our young men via conscription, generation after generation, I offer, is discontinuing the Patriotism Generator our Country needs to continue to flourish.  I take nothing away from the qualifications or ability or desire or talent - or even intellect - that our current Professional Military brings to the job.  It's far, far better than were our two-year warriors of the time.  But our society is worse off for the exchange.    

Less than 1% of our population has served in uniform.  Far less.  That means that the current generation which is calling the shots...has never been shot at.  Figuratively speaking.  And thus, has no skin in the game.  No sense of having bought and paid for one's birthright.  No sense of having paid a price for the unbelievable privilege of being born in the most miraculous place on Earth.  We won the Population Lottery, we did.  And paying a price for value received is now somehow passe.

I offer those who haven't served, or at least fear serving, can't quite imagine what it really means to sign a blank check made out to the American People for an amount up to and including one's life.  Can you?

So if you see a Vet today, or any day, please thank them.  For you, for me, for your kids, and for everyone.  Without the sacrifices they made, and the patriots before them, we'd likely be speaking a different language...   

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

"The D.C. Attorney's Full Employment Act of 2018"...

So the Election's over.  And I, for one, am both happy and sad; happy it's finally done and I can stop seeing those interminable, inexorable and nauseating TV campaign commercials, and sad because it's over and my free entertainment has ended until 2220.

You see, old folks like me without enough to do enjoy early dining specials and freebie political entertainment.  And now they'll continue with the BOGOs for din-din, plus the added enjoyment of seeing the flurry of subpoenas flying all around Washington, D.C.  The Dems took back the House, you see.  And that means they will now have all the power they need to launch all sorts of neato little investigations into the POTUS and all his suspected nefarious activities.  

They'll try their best to obtain his tax returns.  He will say "no," claiming it to be an intrusion into his Constitutional rights to privacy.  They will subpoena.  He will tell them to pound sand.  It will go to the Higher Courts, including the Supremes, quite possibly, which could take a couple of years and $Millions in legal fees and about 7,000 hours of discussion and debate on the cable news channels.

They will also try to tie his increased personal wealth since becoming POTUS, if any, which is doubtful, to Russian diplomats lodging and breaking bread and quaffing vodka at his hotels.  That would be a violation of the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, if proven, an arcane, almost never utilized law from the 18th Century which forbids the POTUS from taking bribes or other payments from foreign gummints.  Which he hasn't done.  But that won't stop them.  They are all wound up and ready to go with their impending onslaught of Donald J. Trump.  

And they will do so, with a vigah!  Just like they did when George W. lost the House in his second term and San Fran Nan Pelosi and her minions turned loose their hounds.  Karl Rove just reported that the White House Legal Team needed to double in size back then to deal with all the static.  

Sooooooooooooo, I hereby offer up that yesterday's events should surely result in nearly every lawyer who can fog a mirror anywhere near our Federal City will be employed full time on one side of this or the other to do battle; at $500 an hour.  Up.  Which we'll pay for.  Now don't you feel better about divided government?

I call it the "Attorney's Full Employment Act of 2018."
If you're a D.C. lawyer and you don't yet drive a BMW, just wait; you will before the sun sets on 2019.  Life will be grand for those Legal Eagles as we wind our way through myriad summons and subpoenas and lawsuits and hearings.  

Not so grand for us, but reeeeely grand for them!

Saturday, November 3, 2018

"Enlightened Self-Interest"

Perhaps it might prove helpful for those who are a bit historically challenged to look back in time for some help from across the sea.

One Alexis de Toqueville, the famous French economist, was a huge fan of America!  So much so that he toured the new America in the early 19th Century.  He was so enamoured with what he saw beginning to blossom across The Pond that he made it the centerpiece of his economic theory.  He studied the effects of groups banding together for their mutual benefit.  And when they do, his studies showed, they benefited both individually and collectively.  

Well, duh!

In his book, "Democracy in America," circa 1835, published more than half a century after the signing of our Declaration of Independence, de Touqueville put forth the concept of "Enlightened Self-Interest."  And this simple realization has subsequently come to form the basis for Capitalism as an economic theory.


And in America, an economic fact.  People work harder and smarter and faster and better and more diligently when they're working for, or to the benefit of, themselves. 

Well, duh! 

As a graduate economist, I find it both amusing and terrifying that seemingly half our population wants to dump Capitalism and embrace socialism.  

You tell them that socialism doesn't work, has never worked, and will never work, and it's met with a big yawn.  You refer them to Venezuela, one of the richest countries on Earth as it relates to natural resources, and its population is now eating their zoo animals.  From the Top Ten in overall economies of the early part of the last century to eating their pets.  All due to their embracing socialism; promise everything, deliver nothing. 

Why do I bring this up at this particular point?  Election Day is but a couple of days away.

And those who are beginning to buy into some politician's promise to redistribute somebody else's wealth to them in exchange for their vote should consider a few factoids:

-  75% of all America's jobs come thanks to the creation of small business.  And those businesses would not have been formed without the profit motive.  And thank God for it!

-  More than half of America's population owns stocks individually or via a retirement plan.  And those stocks only go up if the companies they invested in make a profit.

-  And oh yeah, de Touqueville cautioned us that Rome's democracy went down in flames after just a bit more than 200 years.  Our democracy (Representative Republic) is a bit more than 200 years old.  He stated that we're toast when the politicians learn they can use our tax money to buy our votes.  

Oh yeah, they already learned that.  What do you get with a nearly $One Trillion Dollar stimulus program?

"I guess those shovel-ready jobs weren't so shovel ready after all!"   

                                                     -  Barack Obama, 2011

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Big Game Hunting, and Why You Should Care.

Are you among those who are totally, completely against Big Game Hunting?  You know, hopping on a plane, heading off to the Dark Continent and bagging an elephant or rhino or Cape Buffalo?  That's Big Game.

Oh yeah, there's Medium Game, and Small Game.  But for the purposes of this essay, to all but members of PETA, who wish the animals were in charge (they are in Sacramento!), we'll confine our attention to Africa and the Big Five:  Elephant, Black Rhinoceros, Lion, Cape Buffalo and Hyena.  Just kidding.  The fifth is the much-admired spotted leopard.  And it's become a cottage industry to be adamantly against hunting such beautiful and rare and majestic beasts.  

I know, I know.  Most people are dead-set against this form of hunting.  Or even hunting in general.  I get it.  But there's another side of the equation that should be considered.  The economic impact of big game hunting on Africa is so amazingly yuuuuuge it's almost difficult to imagine.   

Example:  An 18-day hunt to bag just one elephant can cost $150,000 or more!  That princely sum covers the cost of preparation, weaponry, travel, the license (roughly $25,000), the Trophy Fee (upwards of $25,000!), the PH (Professional Hunter), the safari crew (as many as 20 local bearers at $375 - $450/day, each!), and all the food and gear necessary for a movable hunt.  And if you don't run across one in the given time, tough!  You lose!  Africa - and the elephants - win.  

Let's put it this way:  A full-blown African hunt for 3 of the Big 5 can cost from $186,000 - $287,000!  That's some serious money!

Buuuuuuut, if you are so lucky as to bring down an elephant, then the real fun begins.  The tusks will be taken, along with one or two feet (wastebaskets!), plus the tail, and maybe the head if the hunter is so loaded down with cash that he feels the need to spread a lot more of it around.  

These parts and pieces will be shipped off to the local taxidermist for him to work his magic.  That'll cost another $5 - $20,000 or so.  The rest of the carcass will just disappear as several hundred local villagers swarm it!  They'll turn it into a pile of bones within one-half hour.  Not a shred of protein will remain once they've performed their magic. 

And that magic is likely all the food their village will have as least for at least the next month. Hunting feeds Africa.  Africa cannot afford to feed Africa, but hunting can.  And does.  And without it, many (more) tribesmen and villagers in Africa would starve to death.

Many did in the aftermath of the Cecil the Lion fiasco.  The dentist who shot this old lion was immediately excoriated, lost his practice, went bankrupt and his wife left him.  And that was on top of the yuuuuuge fee he paid for the license to shoot the animal.  Which, by the way, Africa would not let him bring home.  

Didn't hear about that, did you?

I guess this could be filed under "be careful for what you want, you might get it."

But following this PR nightmare, lion hunts were immediately cancelled.  Along with elephant, rhino, Cape Buffalo and Greater Kudu hunts.  And two notable things occurred in the aftermath:  Villagers starved, and if they weren't starving, they were being eaten by the lions whose numbers had swelled following Cecil's death.  More than 200 extra, unwanted and unneeded lions were counted in the two years following Cecil.  And those lions were not concerned about Political Correctness.  Or, it should be noted, in staying within the confines of their Game Preserve.  

PH's, paid by the Government, were turned loose to cull the lion herd.  They did.  It was a wholesale killing to bring the lion herd down to a level that was sustainable, within their Game Preserve, without being a danger to the locals.  This is called Game Management, and the key to effective Game Management is legal hunting.

No different than what we do here in 'Murica.  Deer tags are offered each fall depending upon the herd size and the need to keep it under control.  Game Management.  Annual hunting fees bring in the much-needed revenue necessary to deal with overpopulation.  And they do.  Deal with it...

So, I'd like to offer up another in a series of The Chuckmeister's little Words to Live By:  Screwing around with something that's working is almost never a good idea.   

And that proves doubly true if you're a villager trying to outrun a hungry lion... 

Monday, October 29, 2018

A Study in Contrasts...

I watched the Green Bay - Rams game yesterday with interest.

Not just because good football, some reeeely good football in this case, is a good diversion, but because these two teams in particular stand out in one glaring respect:  One is owned and operated to the benefit of its publicly-traded, shareholder-owners, and the other is owned and operated by a greedy capitalistic profit-mongering blight on the butt of humanity.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, you understand...

Yep, one of them, the Packers, is owned by more than 450,000 shareholders.  About twice the population of Green Bay, by the way.  Most, in fact, are located in and around the Chicago area, the locus of their arch nemesis, da' Bears.

The Packers were formed and still operate in Green Bay, and unless or until its Board of Directors votes to move it to the Bright Lights of Some Broadway Somewhere or Other, which stands the same chance of happening as a hurricane blowing through a junkyard resulting in a flight-ready Jumbo Jet, it will happily stay in Green Bay where it belongs.

Kind of like the Boston Celtics, doncha' know...

As to the Rams, on the other hand, it is the Poster Team for Greedy Excess.  All you have to do to own an NFL team, it seems, is to marry its ancient owner, drown him in the surf, and then sell the team to the highest bidder.  For those of you who are birthday-challenged, that actually happened.  Yes, my friends, it really did.  One Georgia Rosenbloom Frontiere left an entire city in PTSD for a generation, not that she gave a rat's patootie.  

The good citizens of Saint Louis, where I used to not-so-proudly reside, had just suffered a Grand Theft Team.  Its Cardinals picked up and moved to Phoenix.  So it managed to screw another city as it had just been screwed by attracting the Rams.  From Lost Angeles.  So STL built a gigonda new stadium, sold it out for years and years, and everyone lived happily ever after, right?  Ummm, no.  

Nope, the same city which had suffered PTSD managed to pass it along to Beer City.  The L. A. Rams, became the L. A. Rams once again, by way of a short two-decade detour to St. Louis.  Pfftttttt!

Oh yeah, kind of like the L. A. Chargers became the San Diego Chargers became the L. A. Chargers.  And now these two teams will wind up playing in the same arena, most likely to only a few thousand underwhelmed, yawning folks.  Ain't that rich?

So now a region that had too many teams and then had too few, now has too many again.  And most of the fans present are cheering for the visiting team. Oh well, you get it.

All of this demonstrates one simple thing:  Sports teams should be owned by the cities in which they reside, and play, and live, and operate.  Period.  I, the consummate capitalist, believe the Laws of Capitalism should be suspended as it relates to NFL football teams, and basketball teams, and hockey teams, and all other professional sports teams. 

Whadayou think?

Sunday, October 28, 2018

"Shelter in Place"

Three little words.

Three little terrifying, sad, indefensible, ridiculous, scary, needless, horrendous, warrantless, foolhardy and totally unnecessary words.

"Shelter in Place."

As this is written the smoke is clearing from a mass shooting at a synagogue in the Squirrel Hill area of Pittsburgh, PA.  Another shooting at a soft target.  Latest word is that 11 poor souls were murdered, including three cops, and several others were wounded by a lone gunman.  

The cops somehow managed to bring this guy in alive after he had just murdered three of their own.  That, in itself, was a miracle...

Not much is known at this point other than this is an enormous congregation, having been formed more than 150 years ago.  A 46 year-old, Jew-hating, Trump-hating White guy chose to try and "Kill all the  Jews," as he's reported saying.  

Although yesterday was their high holy day celebration, there was apparently no security on duty.  Rather remarkable, I think, considering the never-ending enmity toward the Jewish people.  And considering they had sought, and gained, assistance from the Homeland Security Department in making sure tragedies like this didn't happen...it happened.   

Let me restate the problem:   No one in the synagogue of hundreds was armed, and it cost them 11 lives.  

What's the usual cry from the "authorities" when gunfire erupts?  

"Shelter in place."  

The media will sound it.  The police will sound it. The elected leaders from the affected community will, in effect, tell you to find a hole and crawl in it.  Hide!  Under something!  Behind something!  Anywhere!  And that's not bad so far as it goes; but that's as far as it goes...

There is no other defensive measure taken, either before or after, to the threat of a mass shooter.  Just "shelter in place."  I have an idea!  How about putting a sign up out front of this synagogue saying:

"All visitors welcome.  Those coming with guns to hurt us will be blown out of their shoes!  Have a nice day."  

Or something like that.  Perhaps that would go a long way toward preventing the next hate crime. 

Or how about simply permitting good, solid, honest, honorable, tax-paying, God-fearing citizens, possessing the necessary training, to carry concealed weapons, as is guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.  You know, like in the Constitution?  You know, like "...to keep and bear arms?" And then advertise that fact?  Broadly...

I'd like a show of hands; all those who believe this guy would have gladly brought his evil to this synagogue if he believed he'd be shot dead in his tracks before he got the chance to do so, please raise your right hand.  Or your left.  Go ahead.  You choose...    

Yeah, I thought so...

We tell our young people, "Never go out without protection."  I think my kind of protection is better...