Sunday, January 20, 2019

More Chuckmeisterly Observations...

From time to time I, The Chuckmeister, your faithful servant and Scribe-Without-Portfolio, and a completely untrained but enthusiastic reporter, especially about those things otherwise under-reported, which is most things even remotely considered positive for basic 'Murican values, send along to you, my true friends and fellow Patriots, my thoughts and observations about various and sundry topics, small and large, important and unimportant, however I usually don't mess with stuff of the unimportant variety.  

I know, I know, it's a long sentence, but it's my blog and hey!  I can do whatever I want, including altering, even torturing, the rules of English.  So there!

And, BTW, those who take umbrage with my reportage are reminded that they are under no obligation to read it.

Anyway, this is one of those times.  2018 is but a memory.  2019 has begun unfolding for us, ready or not.  And I am ready.  So here goes...

*  I've discovered it takes about 3 seconds to say "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez."  And a Google search shows that this 29 year-old Bronx bartender - cum Congressweenie, has had her name mentioned on cable TV more than 600,000 times over the past year.  That represents a whole lot of valuable air time that could have been used for a better purpose if we'd just call her "AOC."  

Or, maybe not call her at all.

It was good enough for JFK, LBJ and RBG and JLo.  Surely it should be good enough for her.  We're all into conservation.  Let's conserve some time and stop stumbling over this name!

*  I've learned you should never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  Then, if you still judge them as wanting, you're a mile away and you have their shoes...

*  I just found out our brand-new Guv Gavin Newsome just announced he intends to launch a massive new overhaul of our previously only socialist Gummint.  Now, he wants to make it full-on fascist!  New taxes, save the planet, grab the guns, freebie healthcare for illegals, etc.  We missed being on the inside when Venezuela devolved into all-out anarchy.  Isn't it nice to be able to have a ringside seat for the instant replay? 

*  We are lectured on a daily basis by those in the "bubble" who feel themselves qualified to give us advice on religion, sex, politics, economics and ethics.  I'm not sure exactly what happens to Hollywood "stars," for example, when they get their first big paycheck.  They are instantly transformed into political pundits who seem to be on a Mission from God to convert us all into True Believers.  Memo to Left Coast Bubblers:  You might make more money if you stopped denigrating half of your prospective fan base...

*  I've also learned that the single most effective sign in all the world must be "Gun Free Zone."  Or at least that's what the gun-grabbing Progressives tell us.  That's because it's supposed to convince those Hell-bent on committing mass murder to go on home, put their guns away and have a nice cup of warm cocoa.  

Wow!  If that's such a good idea why don't we put up signs saying "Do Not Enter" all across our southern border?  Wouldn't that keep those Hell-bent on breaking into our Country without permission to go on home and have a nice warm cup of pulque?  No wall necessary.  Just a bunch of signs.  Hmmmm...

However, in passing, I might mention that every single one of the mass shootings that have occurred over the past 20 years was in a "Gun Free Zone."  

*  I'm not sure but I'm guessing there are not nearly enough hotel rooms in Manchester, New Hampshire to house all the Democrats running for Prez next January.  That's where the 2020 POTUS race begins.  We're up to about 30 early candidates, and I'm thinking it could go up to 100 or more by the time the dust settles.  Maybe it would just be better if all those who are NOT running would just raise their hands.  Oh well, might as well collect a few $Million in campaign donations, and perhaps a Cabinet seat or a Secretarial appointment along the way.   

*  Robert Francis O'Rourke ran for the Senate in Texas masquerading as an Hispanic, using the nickname "Beto."  Rafael Edward Cruz ran for, and won the Senate in Texas using the Anglo nickname "Ted."  Just who is blowing smoke up who's ass?

*  There were six off-duty cops in the nightclub in Thousand Oaks while a mass shooting occurred a month or so ago.  This nightclub, and every single bar and club in all of the once-Great State of California is now a "Gun Free Zone."  Thus, they were unarmed that fateful night.  But they did their best to shield a young lady with their bodies from the hail of bullets.  Do you think it might have made a difference if one or more of them had been armed?  

*  I just found out there are currently 650 Federal Judges.  650!  Any one of these folks who can, upon a whim, any whim, decide to undue, disavow and cast asunder any Executive Order that our Trumpster might put forth.  Think of that.  You didn't get laid last night, or got cut off by a road rager on the way to the court that morning, and you just decide to take a dump on the Trumpster.  

An Obama Democrat liberal appointee judge can, upon his own volition, just stop an order in its tracks.  And boy have they ever been doing that!  Every single EO he's submitted they've stopped.  And all save one have been later approved by the Supreme Court.  Except it takes months, and sometimes years, to put justice back on track.  Does that tell you anything?  Does this seem reasonable to you?  Me neither...

*  The partial Gummint shutdown underway is costing about 25% of our Federal Employees their paychecks.  That's a real shame.  Most of them live in and around Washington, D.C., and the average Fed employee knocks down more than $137,000 per year.  

The average citizen in Kansas, and Arkansas, and Ohio, and Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and Georgia, and New Mexico, and most of the rest of the country, average only about $45,000 per year.  And that's a real shame.  

*  I just learned we, the American People, will produce One and One-Half Million Barrels of Crude Oil per day more this year than will Saudi Arabia.  Think of that.  We are now the World's Largest Crude Oil Producer!  We have systematically turned ourselves from a net oil importer to a net exporter, all within the last couple of years.  And all the while those will waaaay too much money have been paying $140,000 for a Tesla that keeps you from having to buy gas.  Of course, you'll have to buy electricity, about half of which is manufactured from coal or oil or natural gas.  Hey dummies!  You're trying to "fix" a nonexistent problem!

*  Also, I wonder if D. J. Trump did something right for a change, would the so-called "MainStreamMedia" report it to their slavish masses?

*  And lastly, just remember:  There are two kinds of people in this world.  Those that separate people into two kinds, and all the rest...

Happy New Year, all!  Just remember, no matter how long the rope, or how deep the well, it's how you dangle the bucket that counts...

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Build That "______!"

Trump was elected to build the "Wall."

We heard that for months as Trump held his patented rallies all over 'Murica.  

"Build that Wall," they shouted!  Over and over and over.  No equivocation whatsoever.  That means there should be no question as to what the "base" wants; it wants a WALL!  

But incoming Speaker of the  House San Fran Nan Pelosi and Minority Leader Sen. Chuckie Schumer tell Trump he don't get no stinkin' wall!  Not a penny for his wall, they say!  Nancy even goes a step further by calling the Wall, "Immoral, ineffective and expensive!  Hmmm.

Immoral?  A wall?  Is the wall around the Vatican, the largest and highest such protective wall in the world, suddenly immoral?  Kind of hard to ascribe immorality to an inanimate object, isn't it?  Especially one that's been built by the Catholic church?

Ineffective?  Israel built a wall to separate itself from Egypt.  They say it's cut down illegal crossings and terrorism by 99.9%!  Would that make it ineffective?

And expensive?  5$ Billion is expensive?  That number, however seemingly large, is but a rounding error on a $4+ Trillion annual budget.  It would be  approximately 0.01% of our budget.  Or, ONE HALF of the more than $10 Billion we send Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras in annual aid to make sure what's happening...doesn't.

It looks like what we have here is a semantics problem; the Republicans want to call it a "wall," and the Democrats won't call it anything more aggravating than a "fence."  

Fence good!  Wall bad!

So I, The Chuckmeister, your Scribe Without-Portfolio, your journalist without formal training of any kind, feel compelled to assist with this impasse.  So, if "wall" won't work, and "fence" is too mild, then I've compiled a bunch of synonyms for "wall" that our elected leaders could use to dig themselves out of this metaphorical ditch.  Ready?  Here goes...

*  Enclosure
*  Boundary
*  Encirclege

*  Confinement
*  Hem, as in "hemmed in"
*  Barricade
*  Barrier
*  Screen
*  Blockade
*  Bulwark
*  Berm
*  Henge
*  Enclosure
*  Fortification
*  Hurdle
*  Impediment
*  Palisade
*  Partition
*  Rampart
*  Retainer
*  Divider
*  Breastwork
*  Obstacle
*  Hindrance
*  Confinement
*  Obstruction
*  Cordon
*  Retardation
*  Blockage
*  Screen
*  Deterrent
*  Hindrance
*  Restriction
*  Stoppage

I hereby authorize the RNC to use any or all of these other words for "wall" so that they may choose one that fits their definition of "close off," and the DNC to use any or all that makes their supporters believe that nothing more restrictive than a strand of tissue paper will ever separate them from their newly arrived voters.  

And if these don't work, I've also conjured up a few that might confuse everyone enough to get the "border enhancement" legislation accomplished:

*  Floogle
*  Descremetion
*  Sturgilbligger  
*  Carooonalty
*  Mummumy
*  Preeble
*  Dingus
*  Waggleblassem
*  Buwallamly
*  Nurgelmeker
*  Zot

And if none of these work, how about that old standby, "Moat?"