Thursday, April 20, 2017

Release Those Tax Returns!

The drumbeat for Donald J. Trump, President of these here United States, to release his tax returns is becoming incessant!  

On Tax Day the thongs of people were marching and chanting and fuming and fussing and parading and sign-waving and stamping their little feet, demanding that The Don Don cough up his returns!  No doubt each and every one of these presumably nice folks were bought and paid for by commie billionaire Nazi convicted-felon and trouble-maker George Soros and his ilk, including,, Snopes, com, Think Progress, Planned Parenthood, Americans for Stringing Up Conservatives Everywhere, Mothers Against Drunk Republicans, The Brady Campaign to Melt Down all Guns, Little Mikey Bloomberg and his Mothers for Eliminating the 2nd Amendment, and, of course, the Service Employees International Union and all of their tens of millions of $10 an hour workers.

Oh, and let's not forget the "alphabet networks," including CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, PBS and an untold number of left-wing "news" papers, which have given up on reporting the "news" and are simply banging the "Russians are controlling every Trump activity" drum 24/7.

These people just cannot abide the fact that The Trumpster is refusing to show us what he sent to those lefties at the IRS. I mean, Carter did it, and so has every single candidate for POTUS since then.  Except The Donald.  He says, no way, Jose. Oh wait...  Is Jose still here?  Wasn't he deported? Just askin'...

His excuse, he says, is that "they are under audit."  Likely story, I say! There's no law that says you can't release your tax returns while they're under audit!  So, there must be SOMETHING in those tax returns that The Trumpster doesn't want us, the American people, to see!  

Maybe it's that he's been getting payola from Vlad Putin and the Russkie gummint!  Can't be vodka.  He doesn't drink. Maybe caviar!  Or maybe he's a member of the Mafia and his returns are showing his take from gambling, prostitution and the drug trade!  Or perhaps he's not really worth $10 Billion! Maybe its only a paltry $3 Billion, and that would mean he's not really rich, right!  Or perhaps he's not been ponying up his share of donations to charities and he doesn't want us to know!

In any event, it MUST be bad or he would have willingly opened them up to scrutiny by the Democrat Party and the Lap Dog Media.  Of course, He owns or controls more than 500 individual corporations, most of which are sub-chapter "S" entities.  So reporting on the income and expenses of all of these entities, when any profit or loss from each of them passes directly through to Him, personally, and then collating the entire bunch, would be a monumental undertaking!  But hey, that's no reason not to show us all how much money he's REALLY worth, is it?

We, The People, deserve to know, and by damn, we're gonna' find out!

So the Dems and their sycophants and the Dinosaur Media and Wiki Leaks and the Hollywierd Crowd and John Podesta and Hil(liar)y Clinton and San Fran Nan Pelosi and Senator Chuckie Schumer and Mikey Moore and Susan Sarandon and Babs Streisand and Ashley Judd and thousands of protesters, all dressed in black, and all rioting and looting and misbehaving to the max, have all been looking under every rock to try and locate The Donald's tax returns.  But so far, no luck.  

But I have a theory as to where they might be found. Yes, I, The Chuckmeister (I've said before that if The Donald can warrant a capital "T" in the "The," then I, The Chuckmeister, can warrant one as well!), think I know where they might be hiding. Ready?  Here goes...

I think The Donald's income tax returns might be languishing under B. Hussein Obama's college transcripts!  You know, his applications to attend Occidental College, and Columbia and Harvard Universities.  And his requests for full-ride scholarships, and whether or not he received them.  And remember, Grasshopper, Occidental only granted "full-rides" back then if you were a foreign national!  So if Barry asked for and received a "ride," then he wasn't born in Hawaii, and wouldn't have been eligible to become POTUS.  Seems to me the Media would have been interested in finding that out, wouldn't you?  Ummm, I guess not...

And if he didn't get scholarships, how did he pay for college? He was a poor kid from a single-parent household, and was a less than stellar student, by his own recollection.  His little book, "Dreams from my father," which he may or may not have written (probably not), tells us he spent most of his time while growing up in Honolulu doing MaryJoanna and cocaina along with his "Choom Gang" buddies and hustling old fat white guys.  

Grades? According to his book, not so good.  So what grades did he earn?  Where are those transcripts?  You know, the ones he had dozens of lawyers and spent tens of millions of dollars to keep secret from us? We know what grades "W" got, and Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton, and Ronnie Reagan, and every other POTUS back to Abe Lincoln.  But Barry?  Ummm, no.  Biiiiiig secret, mon ami!

My thinking is these records are all hidden!  And just maybe, The Donald's income tax returns are hiding with them!

Maybe the New York Times will launch an investigative reporting exercise to try and find both.  You know, some of that there "journalism" we keep hearing about. 

Just kidding... 

Or, alternatively, maybe those tax returns can be found resting comfortably under that elusive "hateful" video tape that a bunch of really nice Egyptians found distasteful enough to protest against a few years back.  And then those nice folks in Benghazi, Libya followed that up with a bit of "protesting" at the American Embassy compound there. Remember?  The one where they brought rocket propelled grenades and machine guns?  Those fun-loving Libyans! They just luuuuuv to bring RPG's to little street gatherings! 

And then these partiers killed three of our very best Special Operators and an ambassador?  The one where they made a movie that proved they could have, and should have, been rescued, but weren't?  That one?

The one that then-National Security Advisor Susan Rice went on all five Sunday morning talk shows to discuss?  She did the "full Ginsburg" to explain to us that this "awful" video was to blame.  And that we had arrested the poor fool who had made it, and that we were going to punish him to the max, remember?  

Of course, appearing on the Sunday shows to discuss matters of State would have been the province of the Secretary of State, one Ms. Hillary Clinton, who was in New York that weekend, and could have, and should have, explained it all to us herself...but didn't.  Maybe even SHE, infamous weaver of bald-faced lies, wasn't willing to try and sell this load of crap.

So maybe The Donald's tax records can be found alongside this video, and right next to Barry's college transcripts and grades.  Maybe there's a special storage locker somewhere that specializes in hiding really special and important things like this.

But in the meantime I don't seem to recall marches and protests and chanting and screaming and shouting and placard-waving and demanding that Obama come up with all his documentation, do you? No left-wing celebrities screaming and shouting and demanding that Barry fork over the sort of stuff that every POTUS candidate all the way back to at least Harry Truman was required to provide.

Something to think about, right?

Thursday, April 13, 2017

All You Need To Know About "Global Warming."

"Global Warming."  

Those two words mean different things to different people. To those of a liberal persuasion, it means the sky is falling. Literally.  It means that the oceans are rising, the Polar bears are drowning, the Earth is cooking, the atmosphere is polluted with scads of Co2 and other greenhouse gases, the ice caps are melting, solar and wind farms are the answer to every question that has ever been asked, and that all those nasty old petroleum products that come up from the bowels of the Earth are fouling our very existence and will ultimately kill us and every other life form.  And soon.

And if you're a conservative, you believe that "global warming, or "climate change," or "climate chaos," or "atmospheric calamity," or whatever-they're-choosing-to-call-it-these-days, is a gigantic unadulterated load of horses**t.  

There is proof, they say, that the average temperature is not increasing, that the oceans aren't rising, that the ice caps aren't melting, that Polar bears can swim 60 miles without taking a break, that wind and solar energy actually costs more to produce than the energy thus produced is worth, that Co2 levels, albeit at a historic high, don't determine atmospheric temperature or warming trends, and that fossil fuels will continue to cleanly and efficiently and inexpensively power our society well into the future.

Oh, and that Al Gore is a bloated gasbag who put forth a laughable theory that was as full of holes as a piece of Swiss cheese, but earned him $100 Million Dollars and an Oscar from a bunch of Hollywierd left-wing loons anyway (are you listening, Leo DeCaprio?).  

Back to that "all you need to know" stuff.

The "sky is falling" crowd always falls back on that hard-and-fast statement that "97% of all climate scientists" agree that global warming is "settled science."  Annnnnd, my friends, they are correct.  97% actually do.  "Settled science?"  Not so much.

Buuuuuuuut, what you need to know, but the left-wing loons won't tell you, is...

...97% of all climate scientists either work directly for the Government, or indirectly for colleges or universities or think tanks that rely on Federal grants to continue their very existence.

People are predictable.  They predictably want their paychecks to continue to be issued, and to cash (what a concept!).  That keeps mama and the kiddies happy, the mortgage paid, and the bulldog fed.  

Soooooo, if you were one of them there "climate scientists," wouldn't you want to keep getting paid?  Sure you would. And if continuing to get paid depended upon your being willing to state publicly that "global warming" is real, and that those who beat that drum are being honest and forthright, even if it's a load of crap, you'd most likely say, "Yeah, they're being honest and forthright!"  I mean, those with PhD's in Climatology aren't likely to find another job paying anything like what they're earning now if they're unceremoniously dumped for being honest and forthright.  You'd probably be willing to say that Kim Kardashian's backside isn't huge if it meant continuing to get paid, wouldn't you? Sure you would. 

Sad commentary on the human condition, but true nonetheless...

Oh, and that other 3%?  The ones who don't agree that "global warming" is going to roast us all in a fiery Hell of our own making?  They work for radio and TV stations, or for websites and other private enterprise where knowing weather trends is necessary to keep the doors open, or for weather channels like "The Weather Underground," or "The Weather Network," or "MyRadar," or, well, "The Weather Channel." 

And BTW, Mr. John Anderson, one of the founders of The Weather Channel, is quick to report that all this "global warming" hysteria is, well, hysteria.  He says it's nothing more nor less than liberals trying to find another avenue into our collective wallets to fund their left-wing agendas.  I tend to agree.

Google this if you need some proof.    

There's some more stuff you need to know.  There's a really big bunch of Americans who work in or around the fossil fuels industry.  First of all, recent oil field discoveries here at home (see Bakken Oil Shale Fields) tell us we Americans have more proven oil sands to exploit than all the oil in the Middle East combined!  So, if you put that together with Canada, which is rich in petroleum reserves (think XL Pipeline), and Meheeeeeko, which is as well, through hydraulic fracturing ("fracking") we could become a net exporter of oil to the rest of the world within a few short years.  And, the price of a barrel of oil could plummet to as little as $30.00.  

And the Saudi shieks, who have gold-plated lawn mowers...and no lawns, would have to get real jobs for a change. Wouldn't that do your heart good?

Oh, and would you like to know who stands to lose their ass if the XL Pipeline gets built?  Warren Buffet, that's who.  His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns the Burlington-Northern, Santa Fe Railroad.  That outfit has a contract to transport oil from the Great North to the refineries in Looooosiana at $30.00 a barrel.  The XL, when built, will transport tar sands oil for $10.00 a barrel.  And it will be built, now that The Donald has approved its construction.  And the B-N,SF stock will then take a dump. That's why Buffet kept giving campaign donations to Barry and Hillary by the fistful over the past few years in an effort to keep this all from happening. Helps to know the "whys" and the "wherefores," don't it?

Second, 515,218 of our people work in oil/petroleum, 362,118 work in natural gas, and another 76,771 in advanced gas production.  However, you should know that for every one employed directly in oil/petroleum, totaling about 1,250,000, there's another two working to support that individual.  All in all, there are more than 9,000,000 employed as a consequence of this all-important resource.  

Annnnnd, coal currently employs 160,119, which is down by more than 100,000 since B. Hussein Obama's one man campaign to try and destroy this all-important industry unfolded.  And, I'm of the opinion many of these jobs across ten U.S. states will soon return now that Trump has eradicated the Obama Executive Action that nearly caused the demise of this tremendous resource.    

Solar and wind?  Solar = 373,807, wind = 101, 738.  That's about 475,000 jobs, far less than in fossil fuels, which would not disappear if we would drop our incessant love affair with "global warming."  Both efforts to create so-called "clean energy" will continue to grow and prosper even if those in power stop their Energizer Bunny efforts to re-imagine our society. 

Oh, and truly enormous solar arrays like the one near State Line, Nevada, roast birds into crispy critters as they fly by, and huge wind farms chop them up into little bits.  Well over 300 American eagles were sacrificed on this alter of liberalism during 2016, by the way.

So, whether or not you agree that "global warming" is real, or just some commie pinko liberal weenie effort to separate you from some more of your hard-earned cash, be advised that the effort to force us to buy into it is not likely to stop anytime soon.  Al Gore just released his third documentary on the subject, called, predictably, "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power."  In it I'm sure he'll be kind enough to let us know how, unlike all his other predictions from his previous two pieces of fiction, like Miami being under 20 feet of water by now, this set will actually come true...

Ummm, one more thing:  If ex-Vice President Alfonso Gore had won his home state of Tennessee, he'd have won the White House back in 2000. So, one has to ask oneself, if one can't convince his friends and family and neighbors back home in Pigeon Forge he'd be a better POTUS than "W," then maybe it's a good thing he didn't win.  Maybe we should take that into account when we consider viewing his latest effort at boring us to tears...

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Just One More Reason to Move to Texas...

On April 7th, California had the fourth highest gasoline taxes in America. And, due to other excise and use taxes, among the very highest gas prices in the Nation.  That's why when a gallon of gas costs $1.65 in Oklahoma, or Nebraska, or Tennessee, it's just about One Dollar Higher here in the once-Golden State.

CA also boasts among the very highest vehicle registration and license fees in America.  That's why it's in the Top Ten in terms of the annual cost to own and operate a car.  

But now, due to a brand-spanking new law passed by Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown and his legislative sycophants in that jerkwater town known unaffectionately as Sacramento, all that has changed.  Brown just signed into effect the very largest gas tax and vehicle license and registration tax increase in America's history.  That would be...ready for it?...

...$52 Billion Dollars over the next ten years!

Now, I don't care where you come from, even if it's the very largest state in the Country.  But a $52 Billion increase is one Hell of a lot of money, especially if it's on top of an already costly burden.  That works out to a 12 cents a gallon increase in gas taxes, to 62.62 cents, or 13 cents more than the next highest state.  And, an increase of 20 cents for diesel.  

And, due to the new bump in fees and taxes, we'll soon be getting hosed to the tune of another $25.00 to $175.00 annual increase in vehicle registration and license fees, to the top screw job in America.  

And don't think driving one of those weenie little electric go carts will free you up from having your pocket picked.  If you're plagued by one of those, you're getting screwed to the tune of another $100.00 per year, just because you're not paying gas taxes, so you need to pay something to ride around on our roads, right?

This new bag of tricks is called the Road Repair and Accountability Act of 2017, and it kicks in on November 1, 2017.  Owing to the Democrat's supermajority stranglehold on our legislative apparatus here, they were able to pass this nightmare without a single Republican vote. And without you and me having a say as to whether or not it should pass.  I guess we're only necessary to keep paying for the mistakes these bozos keep making.

Brown and Company tell us they're going to use this newfound pot of cash to pay for much-needed road and bridge and interchange repairs. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, considering ours are some of the very worst in the entire Nation. 

Exceppppppt, the gas taxes we've been paying all along were supposed to be going into a pot to pay for roads and bridges and related infrastructure.  So, what, I ask, rhetorically, happened to that money?

Yeah, what?

No one seems to know.  My own personal opinion is that this is either going to be earmarked to cover our hundreds of billions of dollars of union pension shortfalls, or be directed to cover it in the future.  But what I know is that living here in this tattered paradise has just become too expensive for all but those who supp at the public trough.  And I don't.

How about you?

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Secession: The Fun is About to Begin!

Unless you've been making your home in a dumpster behind the local Wal-Mart, you no doubt know that California is preparing to secede from the Union.

Yes, my friends, and you are my friends, the left-wingers that wield power in that jerkwater town known as Sacramento (how did it get to be California's capitol, anyway?), and the clueless weenies who put them there, are not so happy about the outcome of the recent General Election.  Nope, not so happy at all...

They really, really wanted Hillary Clinton to win the Presidency.  Two-out-of-three voters, in fact, voted that way. That's quite a margin.  I mean, she had all the requisite qualifications:  B. Hussein Obama stated that she was the very most qualified person to ever run for POTUS (!); she had visited 121 countries while wasting four years of her life as Secretary of State (!) (!); her serial predator husband had been POTUS (!) (!) (!); and she had the right chromosomes (!) (!) (!) (!).

Of course, all of those two-out-of- three, totaling some 4 million more votes than The Donald received, are located in San Diego, Lost Angeles, San Jose's Sillycone Valley and San Francisco Counties.  Must be something in the salt air, me thinks.  

And then there's the 1.3 million positive vote margin Hil(liar)y received in New York State.  And once again, those votes came from only two counties: Manhattan and Brooklyn. Does anyone think that five counties in America, two in NY and three in CA, should be able to dictate to the rest of us exactly who should become Prez?  I don't think so either.

Of course, if you subtract those excess votes from CA and NY, The Trumpster wins the majority by more than 3 million votes. Just sayin'...

Anyway, California has been trending more and more "left" for the past thirty years.  When I moved here back in the late 70's this lovely place was considered a reliably center-right State.  Remember, Republican Ronnie Reagan won two terms as Governor.  So did Pete Wilson.  Even that paragon of left-wing Republicanism Arnie Schawartzenwhoozits, somehow managed to win.  But then he governed as a reliable Democrat, as would befit someone who was married to an uber-Democrat Kennedy, but he won nonetheless. 

No longer.  Since then it has become a magnet for illegal aliens, deadbeats, panhandlers, eco-weenies, the homeless, sign twirlers, aging "Summer-of-Love" hippies, Starbucks baristas, 120,000 actors and actresses, most of whom work at Olive Garden, and mega-millionaire Silicon Valley techies. And with them they've brought all the problems socialism visits upon its victims, while erasing generations of amazing growth and achievement the wonders of capitalism once provided.

Now we have a morass of left-wing lunacy.  Our Legislature is owned and controlled by the Democrat Party.  Those boys and girls (and these days, others?) have what's now called a "supermajority."  That means with their two-thirds plus-one stranglehold they now can offer up any law, of any kind, for any reason, at any time, that does any thing, whether necessary or not, and whether affordable or not, and then vote it into law.  And they do.  Often.

Last year the Dems sent 878 brand-spanking new laws to our Civil Servant-for-Life Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown's desk for signature, and he signed all but 87 of them.  Among them were laws making it illegal for you to burn wood in your wood burning fireplace (!), and illegal for dairy cattle to fart after 2020 (!) (!), and illegal to buy a $5 box of .22 bullets without first ponying up $50.00 for a Federal background check (!) (!) (!). Hmmm. 

Oh, and then they decriminalized prostitution for 12 year-old, pre-pubescent little girls, and their pimps (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!). Hmmmm, again.

And now Guv Brown, our failed Jesuit priest, and failed Governor, twice, has proposed a new punishment for those Californians who had the temerity to become successful. Yes, my friends, he has proposed to hit the "rich" with a new 1% surtax on all their income over $250,000 per year, or about what you need to live in a cardboard box in San Francisco. 

So, on top of our top 13.3% State tax on income, they'll tack on another 1 point.  Why?  So that Brown and his sycophants can send all our yuuuts to college absolutely freeeeeeee!  This new tax, if passed, is expected to raise $4.3 Billion a year.  And with that money all our kids, both legal and not, can get a freeee education!  Nice.  Of course, I'm fairly confident that there won't be any "rich" left here to pay it once they've beet feet for greener pastures.  Agree?

What's that sound we hear?  I think it might be the fuselage door closing on Gulfstream jets as they prepare to whisk their owners out of this once-Golden State and off to Costa Rica, or Panama, or Belize, or some other tax-free locale.

I sincerely wish I were kidding about any one of those laws. I'm not. And, do you think we really needed nearly 800 new laws?  Me neither...

But the law that Senate President Pro-Tempore Kevin de Leon (D-LA) just put forth, "trumps" all the others (pun intended).  It's Senate Bill 54, which will cause California to secede from the Union if voted in by our electorate in 2018. Why?  de Leon, and Guv Brown, and San Fran Nan Pelosi, and a whole bunch of other otherwise unemployables, are totally pissed that Trump and the new gang in charge in Foggy Bottom not only won, but now want to actually force States like the one now holding me hostage to obey the law. You read that right; Trump, and his new Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and about 70% of our Nation's population by a recent poll, want cities, and counties, and states to obey our immigration enforcement laws.  What a concept.

Now I know that's a bit shocking, but there it is.  California, and the other 300 or so locales across our Fruited Plain that just luuuuuv their illegal alien criminal felons, WILL NOT notify the ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials when they have an illegal alien criminal felon in their lock-up.  

Let me restate that:  A city like Santa Monica finds some illegal alien felon drug-addled, rapist, burglar, who's been deported 12 times and has four DUI's, for instance, and gives him a nice clean cell. Then, after they have either been immediately released with an apology, or tried, convicted and incarcerated, presumably for a rather short duration, they simply turn them loose to wreck havoc once again.  That's how Kate Steinle got murdered in San Francisco, you'll recall. They WILL NOT call ICE to come and get these "uninvited visitors," even if ICE has requested they detain them. They seem to think that doing so will violate the "human" rights of these people who shouldn't be here in the first place. Assuming they "think" at all.  And that's a big assumption...

So we should soon begin to hear from both those who want us to vote for this ridiculous nonsense, and those who know that doing so is simply beyond any rationality whatsoever. Like that ever stopped them. 

But, knowing that people in Taxifornia will seemingly vote for anything, so long as it doesn't take a thin dime from their own pockets, they'll probably vote to make it happen.  And then we'll go from 50 states to 49. And I'm guessing the rest of 'Murica will say, "Good riddance."

Sooooo, presupposing that this proposal will pass, I suggest that the Federal Gummint prepare for its passage by taking a little bit of advance action.  I suggest that, from this point on, each and every illegal alien snagged coming across the California border with Meheeeeeko be given a one-way bus ticket to their choice of either, a) Beverly Hills, b) Santa Monica, c) San Francisco, d) Berkeley, or e) Sacramento (my personal favorite!).  Plus, I suggest they be given a "Map to the Stars" to help them find their way to a nice place on which to pitch their tents.  I mean, those lavish spreads around Brentwood have plenty of property on which to camp, right? And maybe a $10 gift certificate to Starbucks so they can get a nice double mocha latte to sustain them until their food stamps begin to arrive.  Oh, and the school bus schedule so they can prepare to send their kids off for a free, taxpayer-funded education.

Oh, and that Starbucks dig?  A guy named Howard Schultz, the CEO of this coffee giant, decided to give Trump the finger by promising to hire 10,000 Syrian refugees instead of 10,000 U.S. military veterans.  The result?  Their stock took a dump and Schultz was forced to cut and run. Awwwww!

These people tell us WE'RE the racist, misogynist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic haters who are unwilling to "share the wealth" by permitting anyone, from anywhere, to come here and suck up scarce Government taxpayer resources with no limitations whatsoever. They're willing to talk the talk. Let's find out if they're now willing to walk the walk.

Do you think our celebritards will be happy to find a bunch of Guatemalans showing up without an invitation?  I can't wait to find out...

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Where are all those "Glutens?"

You no doubt know that the hippy trend to "gluten free" has become a Big Business in today's America.

Why?  Damn good question.

The effort to remove glutens, the primary protein in wheat, a staple in our diet for millenia, a substance that represents more than 20% of the average Americans' daily diet, has become an $8 Billion Dollar enterprise.  Read that again:  We are spending more than $8 Billion a year to remove glutens from what we eat!  20 years ago?  10 years ago? No one seemed to care.  But now?

We're told that glutens can cause iliac disease, and excess gas, and stomach distress, and weight gain, and awful skin rashes, and all sorts of other evil scourges in our puny little lives.  So why, I humbly ask, did we manage to eat cereals and breads and beer and other foodstuffs for generations, nay, for tens of thousands of years, without a problem of any kind? Because, I humbly offer, that no one back then had figured out how to make a living off of scaring the piss out of us...

Go to your local supermarket and walk up and down the aisles.  You'll see "gluten free" this, and "gluten free" that. And the prices for all that "gluten removal" are outrageous. By my reckoning, we're paying at least a 20% premium to have some bozo remove those little glutens, perhaps one at a time, with a tweezer, maybe, from the bread and cereal and pizza crusts we buy and eat.  And are we getting our money's worth from having them do so?  Me thinks not.

I'm of the opinion that there's a gigantic pile of glutens somewhere. Maybe out back of the Kellogg's Battle Creek, Michigan factory.  A big, BIG pile of glutens.  I mean, tons of glutens!  

So how about this: We start putting those glutens into an entirely new food group, which we sell to all those folks who have been screwed out of their hard-earned glutens by all those tree-hugging, carrot-chomping, electric car-driving, sauvignon blanc-sipping eco-weenies.  Maybe we put it into a spread, like margarine, which we're told also will kill us.  Or like that fake orange cheese stuff that we dip our Doritos into. We'd have to give it an enticing color, to be sure, but hey, I doubt we'd have a problem making it not only good looking, but good tasting, too!  

And a great name as well.  "Gluticious," maybe? "Gluterene," perhaps. "Glu-you," I'm thinking.  No matter.  There's a whole cadre of marketing geniuses hanging around who could be called upon to give this new "food group" an enticing moniker.  Can't you just imagine the money that could be made! 

This is a challenge, all you food manufacturers out there. We want our glutens!  Give them back!  Okay then, my mid-week rant is at an end. Go back to your "Great Unwashed" little lives and enjoy the rest of your day... 

Friday, March 24, 2017

Trader Joe's; Your place for wine?

Got a Trader Joe's near you?  Like to drink wine.  Read on. You might just learn something that can be of benefit...

You might not be aware that Trader Joe's is America's largest purchaser of bulk, finished, aged, ready-to-drink, but as-yet unbottled wine.

Didn't know that, didja?

Well, it's true.  And here's why.  Wineries never, that would be never, make exactly the right amount of wine.  They either make too much of it, presupposing that they will have the market demand for that quantity, or too little, presuming that you and me will not want as much of their glorious liquid as we actually do.

So what do they do if their production falls into either extreme?  

If they make too little, they then buy up some grapes from fellow vineyards to supplement their underproduction, turn those grapes into wine, and then plant some more grapes for future needs.  

Or if they make too much, they then either, (a), create a second channel of wine, such as another brand just below their usual quality and price of product.  You know of this whether you've thought of it before or not. Think of Beaulieu Vineyards.  They have regular, inexpensive BV wines at $7 or $8 a bottle.  Then they offer "BJ Coastal" at a couple of dollars more per bottle.  And then they feature "BV Napa" at $13 or $14 a bottle. Or, you can opt for "BV Tapestry," which is really special, for around $35 a bottle.  And lastly they offer their top-tier, super fantastic, "BV Georges de la Tour," which is one of the very best wines made in America.  It goes out for upwards of $125 a bottle.  You can often find it at Costco or Sams, on the other hand, for as little as $75 - $80 a bottle. 

If you ever have need of a really special present for a very important someone, who really likes good red wine, consider a bottle of this amazing stuff.  They will be overjoyed.  

By the way, Georges de la Tour was a Swiss viticulturist who ventured to Napa, CA way back in the late 1800's.  He decided that the Napa area had the perfect climate to grow Cabernet Sauvignon, very similar, as it was, and is, to the area around Southwestern France where Cabs are usually made.  And thus, he was the first to plant it in California.  For doing so he's recognized as the guy who actually started what would become the internationally recognized craze for California wines.  But back to our story...

Other wineries that offer two or more tiers of wines would include Coppola, Sebastiani and Kendall-Jackson Vineyards. Ever heard of "Screaming Eagle?"  That's the iconic small-production winery in Napa's Stag's Leap, ultra-special growing area that limits its annual production to only 500 cases a year. The uber-rich swells stand in line to buy this stuff for as much as $350 a bottle.  They offer no wine clubs, no pick-up parties, and no discounts to anyone.  They're waaaaay to cool for that! Yet, they always sell out.  

But that doesn't mean they only make what they can sell. They ALWAYS make more than their self-limited 500 cases a year.  What do they do with the excess?  They bottle it under another brand, called "Whispering Dove."  Get it? "Screaming Eagle" becomes "Whispering Dove?"  And the price?  $40 a bottle at discount wine stores or on line.  Nice to know this stuff, yes?

And (b), those wineries that find themselves with excess production prepare their extra juice as if they were going to bottle it. They add yeast, they ferment it, they put it into barrels and then they sell it as "bulk wine."  It is their normal wine, ready to age, and then ready to bottle and drink.  But they don't need it, so they sell it.  And where they sell it is at wine auctions.

The premier wine auction in America is conducted monthly under the clock tower on the Embarcadero in San Francisco. Those in need of excess wine, but who have decided they either don't have the time to produce it from grapes, their own or someone else's, or don't have the time or production capacity to do so, buy the juice at these auctions. And they can score some serious wine at favorable prices by doing so. And the Number One Buyer of this excess juice is Trader Joe's.

TJ's has as many as 9 distinct brands they use to bottle this juice. Some are labeled simply as "Trader Joes" wines. They may call it "Trader Joe's Select," or "Premier," or "Reserve." But some aren't.  One such "aren't" is "Tribunal."  It is usually their very best bulk wine, and by my reckoning, is always superb. And it just might be a really special wine that you usually couldn't afford if bottled by the winery that sold it under their own label.  

Recent bottlings of "Tribunal" contained "The Prisoner," by "Orin-Swift Wine Company.  This wine goes out at a retail of $39.99 a bottle at the winery.  And it's delish!  I've bought cases of this stuff from TJ's and loved every drop.  And the cost?  $9.99 a bottle.  In fact, almost all their house brands sell for this not-so-princely sum.  And all are great buys. Just remember this:  Trader Joe's makes no wine, either "before its time," or after.  It BUYS all its bulk wine from others, and then contracts with area wineries to bottle it for them at other-than-peak bottling periods.  

Soooooooooo, cheap juice, coupled with cheap bottling, creates cheap...but expensive tasting, wines.  And wines you should check out.  

How did I learn this stuff?  Having a wine budget quite a bit smaller than my taste buds, I'm always on the lookout for some great values in wine. So I got to know the Wine Managers at several Trader Joe's.  They are happy to inform and delighted when their customers show an interest.  

And believe it or not, some of them didn't even know about this process. But they DO know the best wines they offer, the true specials, and they'll clue you in if you get to know them as well.  They offer great wines at great prices. But they also offer even greater wines under their own labels at super prices.  

The moral of this story:  We can all drink like we're rock stars, even if we can't hit a lick on an axe and don't have access to their fat bank accounts.  A word to the wise should be sufficient... 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Mexican-American War, Part Deux...

I have the answer to ending illegal immigration from Meheeeeeeeeeeeko, our jolly good neighbor to the south.

And to every other problem we've had with our cousins "down there," for that matter.

Yes, my friends, and you are my friends, the Number One (or Two or Three, maybe) topic of conversation around Foggy Bottom these days is ending the flood (trickle? stream? rivulet?) of illegals pouring over the border between us and Meheeeeeeeko. Our newly-minted Prez Trump has promised to put an end to that gusher and then get rid of the criminal illegals who are laughing at us for being so stupid as to allow them to come here so easily, commit crimes and then hang out unimpeded.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he comes through on that promise.  

But whether he does or not, building a wall won't stop it. They'll get over it, or under it, or around it. But for sure, they'll manage to come here and screw us and our beneficence. It's always been that way.  It likely always will.

But I, The Chuckmeister, have a plan.  Yes, my friends, A PLAN!  I have a plan to fix this whole sordid mess, right now, before anybody else pulls up their pantaloons and wades across the Rio Grande.  And before anybody else gets one of our jobs, and before anyone else starts illegally receiving Gummint benefits, and before another illegal gets a drivers' license here in the once-Golden State of Taxifornia, and then votes.  So, here goes...

I have a friend who owns a Chevy dealership.  I've spoken with him and he has agreed to loan me six or seven good, used Suburbans. Suburbans, as you know, are really, really big SUVs that can hold like 7 or 8 beefy guys.  

I have another friend who owns a gun store.  Yes, I am a gunner, and I enjoy punching holes in pieces of paper with high-powered rifles and pistols.  And my friend has lots of those shiny, powerful things hanging around his shop.  And he's agreed to loan me several AR-15 rifles and some Baretta 92-S pistols, and lots and lots of ammo, only blanks, of course, to go with both.  

And I have yet another friend who owns a bank.  And he's upset at illegal immigration and wants to do something about it.  And he thinks I can help.  And he's willing to front me $250,000 in fresh, uncirculated $twenties, which I can put to good use.

Yeah, I know, I have a lot of friends.

And what I intend to do with those Suburbans and rifles and pistols and crisp, new $20's will be the stuff of legends. LEGENDS, do you hear me!

I have a bunch of old, overweight friends with high blood pressure who served in that unpleasantness known affectionately back then as the Viet Nam War. And they're pissed!  Pissed that they were so taken for granted by the country they served so loyally, and pissed because the country they love so dearly has become a magnet for Meheeeeeeko's poor, and pissed because they miss all the action!  You know, bullets flying, ducking and bobbing and weaving, digging foxholes and then hiding in them, etc.  And they're pissed because America of today is nothing like the America they risked their lives to protect and serve.  

The "entitled" generation wants lots of free stuff for doing nothing. Our vets are already pissed about that.  But illegals pouring over the border and taking Americans' jobs, and causing all sorts of crimes and causing lots of grief, has left the Viet Nam Vets upset and ready to rummmmble! And they're more than willing to do something about it. 

And so, after a little bit of training (damn little, I'm guessing!), on a bright, sunny Tuesday morning to come, or maybe a Wednesday, we'll position a Suburban, filled with coffee- and tequila-fueled old veterans, each with an AR-15 and a Baretta, filled with blanks, at one of the border crossings with Meheeeeeeko. And in each SUV there will be a briefcase loaded with brand-new $20's. At a given time, say 11:00 a.m., just about the time the sun is high in the Heavens and the border guards down there are starting to get really sleepy, the vets will gun their motors and rush headlong toward the border crossings. Say, San Diego and El Centro and Nuevo Laredo, and another four or five locations.  

Just as they begin to breach the border crossings, they'll open the briefcases, power down the windows, extract a bundle of $20's, crumple them up and begin tossing them out at the Meheeeeeekano border guards. They, being money-grubbing, underpaid civil servants, will begin scrambling on the ground and fighting with each other to pick up the money. And as they do so the Suburbans will blow past them without a single shot (blank!) being fired.  And off they'll go toward their ultimate destination:

Meheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeko Citeeee!

I'm guessing that they'll head south unimpeded because the border guards will now be tossing back tequila shots at some sleazy border bar, using all that fresh new gringo money, and will have failed to notify any of the authorities to be on the lookout for a bunch of fat, heavily-armed old ex-soldiers in SUV's.  

A few hours later the SUV's will all converge on the Capitol Building in Meheeeeeeeeeko Citeee, jump out of their vehicles and storm the Seat of Government!  Considering that most all of the elected officials who are supposed to be there are probably vacationing at one of the tony hotels in Beverly Hills, our soldiers will meet little, if any, resistance. 

And so, just before dark, they will plant the Stars and Stripes on the front lawn and take the Meheeeeeeeekan capitol without any drama at all. Not a shot being fired.  And we can then do what we should have done in 1848: Take Meheeeeeeko as part of the spoils of war.

And by that I mean we should have done that back then when the Treaty of Guadalupe Hildago was crafted.  We took "Aztlan," the giant chunk of territory north of the current border.  That area of "Nord Americano" includes half of California, all of Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Meheeeeeko and a large part of Texas.  But it could have, and should have, included all of Meheeeeeeeko.  Had it done so we wouldn't be having all these problems today.

Now you know that Puerto Rico is owned and operated by us, the Americans.  We pay their way, we welcome their visitors, ummm, immigrants, for life, in most instances.  That doesn't include Jennifer Lopez, who's more than welcome. We put them on our food stamps. We permit them to vote in our elections.  We send them boat loads of cash when they run out.  I mean, they're basically another state.  So why not welcome another third-world country?  I suggest that we're better off owning and operating Meheeeeeeeeeko then simply trying, unsuccessfully, to keep their poorest citizens out.  I mean, after all, they're mostly here anyway, aren't they?

To be sure, you can Google the population of Meheeeeeeko and you'll discover that there's supposed to be 103,000,000 people living there. The Feds tell us that there's somewhere around 11.3 million of them living here.  It may well be more like 15 or 20 or 30 million. Who knows? We sure as Hell don't.  But one thing's for sure: Considering that there's so few of them left there, my overweight Viet Nam Vets will likely not encounter any serious resistance from them while our guys are on their way to Meheeeeeeeeko Citeee, right?

So, when it's all over, we will own this toilet of a country.  We will begin to exploit their copious quantities of natural resources, including vast oil reserves,  copper, zinc, nickel, silver and gold.  There's more than 4,000 miles of pristine shoreline surrounding Meheeeeeeeko, including up and down the Baja, and up and down the Sea of Cortez. We'll line them with Hiltons and Crowne Plazas and Holiday Inns and Best Westerns and Marriotts.  We'll then begin to hire them to work in these resorts, giving them no reason to try and break in to what was once a "foreign country." We can help build up their infrastructure, including hospitals and schools and power plants, benefiting the population that chooses to stay there versus come here.  All in all, it should be a "win-win-win."

Oh, and we'll hand back over the slightly more used Suburbans, AR's and the Barettas, plus whatever cash is left over.  And what's left?  An America twice the size, and with twice the natural resources.  And a much more stable, reasonable, reliable situation than the one we started with. 

And what might be next?  How about we then annex Canada?  I mean, there's only 25,000,000 of them up there, and they're not doing too much with a country much bigger than America anyway.  Not likely they'll put up much of a fight, considering many of them are already here anyway. I mean, if it wasn't for hockey, and people going "eh?" all the time, there wouldn't be anything to do up there anyway.  

And then where will we be?  We'll have a completely self-sufficient nation, three times its previous size, comprising all of North America. We'll be able to survive and prosper without any imports of oil, natural gas, coal, or other energy source.  No more imports from the Middle East, a place which hates us and wants us dead.  And with no more need to protect the oil fields over there, we wouldn't need to garrison troops there, and no more reason for those misunderstood locals to want to blow us up at every opportunity.  Or so they say.  

In fact, by truly exploiting the fracking revolution, we'd become the world's largest exporter of these self-same vital energy products, freeing much of the rest of the free world from the armlock Middle Eastern Arabs have had them in for decades.  Peace would break out world wide!  And with all this new energy production, and even a glut, oil would be only $10 or $15 a barrel, and the poor throughout our newly-enlarged nation would enjoy a much lower cost of living! And, there would be no more need for electric cars or solar panels or wind farms, which already cost too much to build and too much to operate. And no more eagles chopped to bits by windmills whipping around at 3,000 rpm's.  And no more giant container ships filled with oil just waiting to run aground and do another giant oil spill like the one that happened up there in Alaska.  What's not to like?

All this from a simple guy's plan to launch a preemptive assault on Meheeeeeeeko and take over the country.  

Whaddaya think, 'Murica?

Monday, March 13, 2017

Need More Proof There's a MainStreamMedia Bias?

When a new POTUS and his Administration takes over the Federal Government, it is the right and the custom to replace the previous President's political appointees.  

That's because the politics of political appointees tend to mirror those of the guy who appointed them, and thus, they might try and undermine or refuse to carry out the new POTUS' policies.

That would include the 93 U.S. Attorneys, protecting us, The People, from all sorts of evils nationwide.

Most promptly resign upon certification of the results of an election.  Usually, on the very same day.  The remainder are formally asked to resign, and they do, promptly and professionally, without kicking and screaming or comment of any kind.  That's because they're supposedly professionals. Some, it seems, must be asked to go.  And they go also, because that's the way the system was designed. And if they don't, they're unceremoniously fired. 

When Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton took over in 2009 he fired all 93 U.S. Attorneys. No notice, no drama, no hand-wringing, no outrage, no grief.  It was expected, and it took place.  

And the MainStreamMedia say about it.

Oh, by the way, one of those attorneys was Jeff Sessions, Trump's new Attorney General.  No Republicans chose to condemn such a termination, nor should they.  It was business as usual.  And the AG is the boss of all things Department of Justice, by the way, including all U.S. Attorneys. Karma's a bitch, doncha' know.

The Trump Administration just asked for the resignation of the remaining 43 hold-over U.S. Attorneys who had not yet resigned. One, a guy named Preet Bharara, U.S. Attorney for Manhattan, refused to go.  Trump dumped him.  Predictably, Democrats went absolutely nuts. Lefty Senators and Representatives, like Chuck Schumer, (D-NY) and Pat Leahy, (D-VT), took to Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and talk shows to condemn this ordinary, regular, routine, expected action by threatening to withhold approval of the attorneys Trump may put forth to replace those just departed. 

As I said, predictable.

POLITICO, the left-wing political website that carries water for all things Liberal, posted a story back then entitled, "Obama "asked" U.S. Attorneys to resign."

Today?  Let's take a look...

POLITICO 3/10/2017:  "Trump to "oust" Obama Appointees."

From the bland headline put forth 8 years ago, you'll note the snarky, negative adjective the writer of this article chose to now use.

Oh yeah, by the way, the author of both headlines, was the self-same Josh Gerstein.

Wonder how Mr. Gerstein votes?  I didn't think so.  As per a recent USA Today poll, I'm guessing he votes exactly like 96% of all American journalists vote: Democrat.  

Wonder why America's voters chose to believe Donald Trump when he spoke so often about Lap Dog Media bias?  I didn't think so...

Friday, March 10, 2017

Surviving Obamacare...

As this is written, literally, the so-called "repair and replace" Obamacare fight is going on in the halls of Congress.

It's not going well, by my reckoning.  Republicans are of the opinion that the best health care program is one the Gummint has nothing to do with at all.  That's because Republicans know that the Declaration of Independence guarantees us all the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," with no suffix continuing on adding "...and the right to lots of really good, cheap, or even free health care."  

The Democrats, on the other hand, believe the only good health care program is one that's owned, operated, managed and paid-for by the Federal Government.  Ummm, that would be you and me.  Single-payor, universal, socialist-style, everybody-covered, everything covered, taxpayer-paid health care like that offered in the U.K. and Canada is their primo model.  Like where you have to wait 7 or 8 months to see a doctor and a year or more to see a specialist.  Rigggggttt.

And the lawmakers in Foggy Bottom these days seem to be trying to come up with something approximating degrees of both. 

I believe that's a prescription for disaster.

Those of us who study this stuff, like me, who spent an entire professional career in health care, know that Obamacare was a deeply flawed law that should never have been passed. 

We know that it was rammed through Congress late on Christmas Eve of 2009 without a single Republican vote, using an arcane parliamentary trick called "reconciliation." That allowed the Democrats, who were in control of the House, the Senate and the Presidency, the "hat trick," to take hostage one-sixth of the entire U.S. economy on a strict, Party-line, simple majority vote.  Bad way to do business, by my reckoning.

And this is what they wound up with:  Those who had employer-paid health insurance lost it.  Many of those who had no insurance got it, and it was paid for by those who had lost it, along with taxpayer-paid subsidies to insurance companies who were assembled into co-ops to cover them. Those who had lost it were given the opportunity to buy it back at three or four times what they'd previously paid, along with a deductible of four or five or six times what had been the case. The excess fees for this much worse coverage were used to pay for some of the insurance of those who never had it. And those who lost it and bought it back, and those who hadn't had it and wound up with it, discovered that they had health insurance, but little or no health care. That's because physicians wanted no part of this crappy health insurance that paid bupkus for their services.  And so, most weren't accepting it.  Most likely you wouldn't have either.

A poll taken of the American Medical Association right after passage of O'Care showed that fully 83% of all physicians were planning to retire early.  With no plan whatsoever to replace them.

Got it?  Good.

And what's the current state of Obamacare?  18 of the 23 insurance company co-op exchanges that were created by the Obamacare administrators, using taxpayer-paid subsidies, $Two Billion Dollars so far, have already failed. They've lost so many hundreds of millions of dollars on this failed experiment that they've dropped out.  

Pay attention to this fact:  Of the 3,000 counties in America, 1,023 of them have only one insurance company still offering coverage, or none at all. If that's "competition," I want none of it.  

Those in the know, know that Obamacare is on its last legs. It will fall apart like a K-Mart watch in less than a year. This is what happens when a bunch of bureaucrats get together and hammer out a law to do something they don't understand and know nothing about, but are too damn dumb to know it.  And all of this was done so that the Democrats could count on their newly-insured young and poor constituents voting for them in perpetuity.

And we should also know that the Republicans, if they take charge of this mess and try and fix it, will be blamed by all those who lose their Obamacare, and also by those now unseated-from-power Democrats who breathed life into it in the first place.  And they'll likely suffer for it in the 2018 elections.  In short, they'll be shown the door, and with their leaving, the Republican majority will be threatened.

So, what's the Chuckmeister's Rx?    

Republicans would be wise to sit back, relax and observe Obamacare circle the drain. When it fails, they should step in like a superhero and offer up some minimal conservative solutions to help those who need health insurance to afford it. 

Once its gone they should enable the sale of health insurance across state lines, like car and life insurance, finally fostering true economic competition. They should toss in tort reform, removing the incentive from "slip and fall" lawyers to sue for gargantuan, multi-million dollar sums due to medical malpractice claims. They should establish risk pools for preexisting illnesses so that younger folks won't have to pay the exorbitant price for the huge premiums of the elderly and the really sick.  They should enable HSA's, Health Savings Accounts, so that citizens have a choice as to what sort of care to seek, because they'll be paying for some of it.  They should establish incentives for educating physicians and other health professionals in exchange for a negotiated number of years of service from them in community health centers, relieving the cost burdens from hospitals of having to treat people for "free," with the true cost of such care passed along to those with health insurance.  After all, the only thing really needed is what's called "catastrophic coverage," so that true emergency situations, cancer, broken limbs, etc., are taken care of. Everything else has already been underwritten by the various states' Medical/caid insurance programs. And block Medical/caid grants to the states could help to insure this level of care continues, insuring that no one loses their coverage.  Simply stated, Republicans need to let the whole thing to go back to exactly where it was when the Democrats unfortunately chose to take a little trip down this road, and then put it back together the way it ought to have been in the first place.

The Republicans have been preparing for this moment since Obamacare was rammed through Congress 7 years ago, without a single Republican vote.  And now, after having voted to dump O'Care more than 50 times, without success, Republicans, who now control all three aspects of power in D.C., that same "hat trick," are flailing about wildly, mired in the throes of indecision.  What to do, what to do...

I know what to do.  Do nothing...

But before concluding this little rant, allow me, The Chuckmeister, your humble scribe, to back up a bit and provide you one of President Ronnie Reagan's better quotations:

     "The nine scariest words in the all of creation is, "I'm from the Government and I'm here to help."

How prophetic.  O'Care cratered the job market, put a multi-year damper on economic growth, put tens of thousands of business owners out of business, increased the cost of health insurance by huge percentages (Arizona's premiums will increase 113% this year!), brought us breast exams for men and prostate exams for women, and inserted Gummint into virtually every aspect of our lives.  And it gave Democrats the bums rush out of Washington, D.C.  I guess we'll all find out whether Republicans can successfully unwind this Democrat mess without having the window of opportunity close on their fingers.

Really, really hard...