Tuesday, November 21, 2017

"There Are Two Types of People."

There are only two types of people here in this Grand Experiment known as the United States of America:

Those who divide people into two types, and those who don't...

That was a joke, people!  Laugh, okay?

Now that you've wiped your eyes and blown your nose and recovered your composure from your uncontrollable belly-laughing guffaws, let me tell you about another "two types" worthy of our focus and discussion.

Based upon what I've learned over the past month or so, I'd say there's only two types of people in Hollywood and the District of Columbia:  1),Those who've been caught groping and raping and harassing and sexually abusing poor, under-aged, stars-in-their-eyes, wayward waifs; and 2), those who haven't.  Yet.

We awakened one morning just about a month ago to discover that MiraMax-Head Honcho Harvey Weinstein, an ugly, unshaven, balding, fatuous lout with a mouth full of bad teeth and a libido apparently larger even than his gargantuan ego, had been accused of attempting to convince some poor wannabe celebrity to engage in all sorts of bizarre sexual antics.  Like watching good ol' Harv shower, doncha' know.  Don't know about you, but that's one of the very last things on my bucket list...

And then dozens and dozens of doyennes came forth to puke out their own recollections of Harv's nefarious exploits to a salivating Mainstream Media of having been abused, harassed, hassled, manipulated, groped, or even outright raped by Weinstein, and then threatened into silence.  And it didn't stop with ol' Harv.  No siree Bob!  

Oh wait.  Bob's his brother.  And as you'll learn below, he's got his own problems.

Within days the floodgates opened.  Another bunch of Hollywood-types found themselves all over the cover of the "The Hollywood Reporter."   It seems that there's almost no successful female actress who got that way without being forced by some evil producer or director or actor to take their "casting couch" for a test drive.  

And don't think that politicians got off easy, either.  No, my friends, as soon as the Tinseltown accusations started to surface, so did those in what Trump likes to call "The Swamp."  (BTW, the "Swamp" is called the "Swamp, because 250 years ago, what is now Washington, D.C., was just a tidewater basin off the back bay area in western Maryland.  Turning it into the Federal City started with reclaiming all that land from what was once a swamp.).

We know that Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton engaged in some other-than-acceptable activity with a young female intern in the early 90's (he got his knob polished).  He was impeached as a result, and fined $600,000 for lying about it ("I did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky"), and had his law license forcibly extricated from his bottomless pocket for committing a bald-faced perjury.  And that was then, this is now.  

Let me state that again:  William Jefferson Clinton was, and still is, the only U.S. President to have been found guilty of perjury in a court of law.  That's a felony, by the way.  Does the Dem-friendly media ever remind you of that fact?  No?

So, in addition to the 90 or so Hollywood "stars" who have been accused of all manner of nasty sexual antics lately, another few dozen of D.C.'s movers and shakers have seen their faces plastered all across the front pages of salacious publications after having been "outed" by those who've managed somehow to keep their lips sealed about them for lo, these many years.  Stars like Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K. and Ben Affleck.  

Within days of Harv's Fall From Grace, the Heavens opened up with accusations against elected politicians. It seems that old saying, "Politics is Hollywood for ugly people," has gone full circle.  Now we have both camps vying for which is the biggest bunch of Neanderthal sleezebags.  And it's looking like Tinseltown has the edge, so far, at least in total numbers.  But who really knows?  Don't count out those slimy pocket-pickers from Inside The Beltway.  They've actually had more practice being felons-in-training that those wannabe's in Hollywood, even if for no other reason then they've been at it longer.

NOTE:  A FOIA lawsuit just forced the Feds to release a previously secreted bit of data yesterday indicating that we, you and me, have paid out more than $17 Million Dollars in hush money awards, from our tax dollars, to 246 recipients, because our elected leaders in Congress can't keep their lizards in their trousers.

So, in the interest of keeping you, my loyal readers, up to date, here's a far-from-complete but representative sampling of those in 90210 who have been "outed" as grimy, nasty, dirty old men, probably without the raincoats, as of November 15, 2017 (but if they had raincoats, they'd probably be made by Burberry.)

Terry Richardson:  Celebrity photographer.  Accused of sexual harassment.

Roman Polanski:  Famed, Oscar-winning director.  Accused of, and plead guilty to, rape of an under-aged female.  Four other young girls claim this guy assaulted them as minors. Roundly hailed as an auteur and artiste by his contemporaries.  Received standing ovation from his "peers" when given an Oscar for Lifetime Achievement.  Hmmm.

Oliver Stone:  Oscar-winning director.  Accused of groping a woman at a party.  Just another star came out today blasting Stone for all manner of past transgressions.

Harvey Weinstein:  Oscar-winning producer (is there something about "Oscar-winning" that makes one more likely to commit heinous sex crimes?).  Removed from the Board of Directors of the company he co-founded due to dozens of accusations of sexual harassment, groping and rape.  More than 100 accusers at present.  No doubt more to come.  Word has it that they are shutting down the company as it's too damaged to continue.

Bob Weinstein:  Oscar-winning producer.  Good ol' Harv's brother.  And apparently his co-conspirator.  Over 200 sexual harassment allegations.  Looks like Harv was emulating his older brother.

Harvey Knowles:  Founder of "Ain't it Cool" news.  Don't worry, I've never heard of it either.  Stepped down due to allegations of sexual misconduct, harassment and groping.

Devin Faraci:  Movie writer at "Birth.Death.Movies:"  Ditto the above.

Roy Price:  Ex-head of Amazon Studios.  Resigned due to allegations of sexual misconduct.

Twiggy Ramirez:  Bass player for Marilyn Manson.  Accused of raping former girlfriend.

Tyler Graham:  Talent agent.  Resigned due to allegations of sexual assault and sexual harassment of his male, underage clients.

Netflix:  One of the most powerful names in entertainment.  Paid $1.5 Million claim filed by heterosexual male executive who claimed he'd been sexually harassed by both male and female superiors.  Is it hard to get that good looking?

Lockhart Steele:  Media director at Vox.  Fired over allegations of sexual harassment.

Andy Signore:  Creator of "Honest Trailers."  Fired due to numerous allegations of sexual harassment and misconduct.

David Blaine:  Superstar magician.  Accused of drugging and raping a 21 year-old model.  Couldn't he have just used magic?

John Besh:  Celebrity chef.  Accused of sexual assault and harassment.  I'm told the restaurant bizzzz comes in at a close third in terms of industry-wide sexual harassment.

Shadie Elnashai:  Cinefamily executive.  Resigned over allegations of sexual harassment.

Hadrian Belove:  Cinefamily executive.  Resigned over allegations of sexual harassment.  (Maybe somebody should check out this Cinefamily bunch...might be in the water)

Woody Allen:  Oscar-winning screenwriter and director.  Accusations of child molestations.  More than accusations.  He married the target of his molestation.  Maybe to prevent her from testifying?

Stevan Seagal:  Actor.  Allegations of sexual harassment. Rumor has it he might have gained some weight over the years.

Chris Savino:  Creator Nickelodian's "Loud House."  Fired over allegations of sexual harassment.

Bill Cosby:  Dozens of accusations of drugging and raping women.  This man has made a second career out of defending himself in courts all over the Northeast.

Mark Halperin:  Journalist.  TV producer.  Fired over multiple accusations of sexual misconduct and harassment.

David O. Russell:  Oscar-nominated director.  Accused of groping, on-set verbal and physical abuse.

Ben Affleck:  Actor, Oscar-winning director and screenwriter.  Multiple allegations of groping, one of which he apologized for.  I guess he's not sorry for all the others.

Kirt Webster:  CEO Country music firm, Webster PR.  Multiple allegations of sexual harassment, assaulting and drugging clients.

Ryan Ly:  CAA agent.  Fired over multiple allegations from female staffers, including groping.

Erik Horine:  ICM agent.  Fired for "inappropriate behavior."

John Grissom:  Writer, actor.  Accused of molesting Corey Feldman.

Danny Masterson:  Actor.  Four accusations of rape.

David Corn:  Reporter, actor.  Accusations of sexual touching of female staffers, rape jokes.

Brett Ratner:  Director, producer behind RatPac Entertainment.  Multiple accusations of sexual assault, harassment. Gal Gadot, his female lead in "Wonder Woman," just stated she will not do a sequel if he's involved in the production. 

Dustin Hoffman:  Oscar-winning actor.  Accused of sexual misconduct, groping of 17 year-old actress.

In closing, it would seem that those with a proclivity toward groping, abusing, molesting and raping might well look into careers as talent agents, movie producers/directors/actors or elected politicians. They would seem to have greater access to prospective victims in those professions.  

In closing, Number Two, it would seem that you'd have to be completely aware that those standing between you and "stardom" might well require some "fresh meat" as the price of entry.  And those possessing some of that "fresh meat" might have to accept the fact that sharing it could well be the price of admission.  And I guess we're now learning which ones elected to keep quiet back then when opening up could have saved a lot of their fellow Americans a lot of future pain and suffering.

In closing, Number Three, I'm wondering just how these people get anything done when it's apparent there's only one thing on their minds, and it's not their hair.

In closing, Number Four, it seems to me this sexual deviancy thing is rampant in both the entertainment industry and politics.  And given this, why, exactly, do you think we've not heard about it before now?  

Answer:  Maybe it's because the Media's corrupt and complicit?

Friday, November 3, 2017

Paying Your "Fair Share!"

Trump just dropped his long-awaited plans for how to get figurative blood out of our collective turnip.

Not happy with our current tax plan (but then again, who is?), Trump's brand-spanking New One, unveiled yesterday with mucho fanfare, will take the existing 7 brackets, extorting from us way, way, way too much, to three, which will still be way, way too much, however will serve to reduce the already too-high rates a little bit, but not, in my humble opinion, by nearly enough.  

Like that sentence?  Knew that you would.

So, fellow taxpayers and tax-avoiders, we're in for several months of knock-down, drag-out, bare-knuckle fights in the Halls of Congress over this proposal.  And in the TV studios, where carefully-coiffed talking heads will tell us, condescendingly, that Trump's proposal is nothing but a gift to the rich, especially him.  Apparently they have too-soon forgotten that he is working as POTUS for free, and thus I would suggest you might want to cut him some slack over just how greedy he might actually be.

The Republicans will hesitatingly accept it, with a sniff and a scowl, nose upturned, upset that it doesn't go far enough, and the Democrats will howl in pain!  They will flagellate themselves in an effort to prove to their constituents that they are the Party of the "little guy," and that Trump's new Tax Plan is nothing but a thinly-veiled attempt to wrest the food from their babies' mouths and platinum-spoon it directly into Warren Buffett's gaping maw.

They will waste no time in proclaiming, "Make the rich pay their fair share!"  And God knows, we all want everybody to pay their "fair share," right?  Sure we do.  And everybody knows that the rich are misers who pay not nearly enough, right?  And we're bigly pissed!  I mean, they have too much money, right?  How did they get all that money, anyway?  They probably stole it from some poor Black Arkansas farmer, who's on disability from pancreatic cancer due to Agent Orange, and who just wants to be left alone to scratch out his meager existence from his tiny hardscrabble dirt patch.  And so these rich dudes ought to be willing to "pay a little bit more" so that the rest of us can have a plate of rice and beans for dinner.  It's only "fair," right?  I mean, we all know that if Bill Gates gets richer, then some of us must be made poorer, right?  I mean, there's only so many slices in a pizza, right?  

Of course, none of that is true.  If it were, then Steve Jobs would have stolen all the money from all the cancer-ridden Black Arkansas farmers with the advent of his cute little I-Phone.  Or, perhaps his invention served to create new wealth.  Like Gates did with Microsoft and Elon Musk did with Tesla.  Considering that I am a graduate economist and entrepreneur, who actually knows, in this one rare instance at least, what I'm talking about, me thinks so...

In other words, the pizza has an infinite number of slices if you make it out of ever-expanding dough.

So, in the interest of learning the truth, let's explore together just "who" pays "what" in our society.  Let's take a moment and look at the most recent year the U. S. Treasury will make data available and compare just who paid what, and to whom. Okay?

-  In 2014 there were 139.6 Million income tax filers, "contributing" more than $1.37 Trillion in taxes to the Federal Treasury.  That's an all time record for Federal tax receipts.  Yet, apparently not nearly enough, as we routinely spend another $500 Billion or so as a country more than we take in each and every year.  Year after year.

-  The top 1% of income tax filers earned 20.6% of all income, but paid 39.5% of all taxes!  

-  The top 50% of all income tax filers paid 97.3% of all taxes!  The bottom 50% paid only 2.7%!

-  Put another way, the top 1% of all income earners paid more taxes as a share of their income than did the bottom 90%!

-  And let's take a look at the various lesser categories, shall we kiddies?  The top 5% paid 41.96% of all taxes!  The top 10% paid 47.21% of all taxes!  The top 25% paid 68.91% of every tax dollar we collected!  

And here's a question for you.  Why, exactly, are those who espouse a Leftist persuasion so dead-set on preventing the "rich" from getting even a modest reduction in their taxes, given that they pay nearly all of the taxes we're fighting over.  Class warfare?  Me thinks so...

So let's review, shall we?  The "rich" (that's Liberal-speak for anyone who makes more money than you do) pay virtually all the income taxes collected by the U. S. Treasury.  Yet, the raging Left-wing loons want to force them to pay more.  I'm wondering, what's enough?  90%?  100%?  110%?  Why don't we just confiscate every single penny they earn?  And their beach houses?  And their Manhattan penthouse apartments?  And their Ferraris?  

And, oh yeah, their lumber yards and 7-11's and used car lots and pharmacies and family farms and Italian restaurants where they serve ever-expanding pizzas? 

Or better yet, how about we just hunt them down and frog-march them right into the Gray Bar Hotel for daring, daring to become successful!  Class envy and jealousy and identity politics is what the Democrats deal in.  And the American People should learn to get their collective arms around that little factoid.

And lest we forget, poor people don't hire anyone.  Put another way, it might be a good idea to leave the wealth producers with a few dollars so they can create some more jobs to help get us out of the economic malaise we've been in for at least a decade.  

So, as the debate rages on, and Senate Minority Leader Chuckie Schumer and House Rep." San Fran Nan" Pelosi proceed to try and hipmotizzzzze you with their incessant bleatings about Republicans taking money from the Treasury that is so desperately needed by the "poor and downtrodden," just remember that:

-  The Federal Government has no money of its own.  Lemme' repeat that again:  The Federal Government has no money of its own!  Before the Gummint can give something to somebody, it has to first confiscate that something from somebody!  In essence, it has to stick its massive mitt into our collective pockets and extract what it wants under threat of criminal prosecution so it can redistribute that booty to others to curry favor and win votes.  And remember, this Great Country got along just fine for 150 years without a Federal Income Tax of any kind!

-  If we strangle the Treasury's income by reducing taxes, we're not taking its money.  That money was never the Gummint's in the first place.  It belongs to the people who earned it, and no doubt could do a much better job of spending it then can Uncle Sugar.  And any shortfall due to tax reductions does not have to be "paid for" prior to passage.  Just spend less, O' Government of ours!  Spend less!

-  Obama (mis)managed to take our Federal Debt from just over $9 Trillion Dollars at the time of his inauguration to $20 Trillion Dollars by the time he was dragged kicking and screaming from the White House.  That works out to about $100 Billion Dollars a Month for every month he was in office.  Remember when he called George W. Bush "unpatriotic" for running the FedDebt up by $2 Trillion to $9 Trillion during his presidency?  Did I miss his apology for having lied through his nicotine-stained teeth? 

-  Obama (mis)managed to be the only U. S. President in history to serve two full terms with not one of his eight years showing a growth in Gross Domestic Product as high as 3%.  In other words, eight stagnant, barely chugging-along years of an economy that could not grow itself into prosperity due to the imposition of Obama's socialist policies and procedures.  Oh yeah, Trump's economy is performing quite nicely, I'd say.  The stock market's up more than 5,000 points since his inauguration and we've enjoyed two consecutive quarters with GDP growth of more than 3%!  That's the first time that's happened in more than 8 years, doncha' know...

-  For comparison, all of Reagan's years after he got his tax reductions through with the Tax Equity and Fiscal Responsibility Act of 1986 grew at 4% or more, with one of those years at an astounding 7.8%!  In other words, that's not an incidental factoid.  No, it's proof that lowering taxes creates an incentive to work harder and create more and invest for your future.  It's called "enlightened self-interest."  

-  Continuing, each increase of 1% in the Gross Domestic product corresponds to an increase of approximately $One and One-Half Trillion Dollars in tax receipts to the U. S. Treasury!  So, the $1.5 Trillion Dollars "lost" by the new tax plan over the next decade which the Democrats have been hollering about would be easily replaced by a single 1% increase in the Gross Domestic Product. And were the GDP to grow at 4% or 5%, just think of the flood of new tax dollars that would be flowing to The Swamp.  Got it?  Knew you would...  

And so, kiddies, here's the takeaway from this little essay.  Don't believe the Pablum that the Alphabet Media shovels your way.  When Obama was deficit spending more of our tax money than all previous U. S. Presidents combined, the Dinosaur Media said not a word.  Not a peep.  Not even a whisper.  They cared not a whit over our increased indebtedness.  Now?  They're breaking out in a rash over the mere thought of any increase in our Federal Debt.  Media bias?  Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes...

So every year that States like California jack up the taxes on their "rich," some of those self same "rich folks" are heading to the nearest airport to board a nice, shiny new Gulfstream 550 with their saddle bag full of cash, and head off to more friendly climes. Like Panama, say, or Belize, or Costa Rica, countries that appreciate those who create and spend and buy and build and hire and produce by not filleting them with onerous tax burdens.  And who could really blame these people for making their exit?  You work hard, you invest your money, you build companies, you hire and train and pay two-thirds of the workers in this Country, taking huge risks all along the way, and then get lambasted by the corrupt redistributionist politicians and weenie media-types for not "paying your fair share."  And remember, whatever you pay, it will never be enough.

Makes me want to puke.  How about you?

Saturday, October 21, 2017

"DACA"

Unless you've been living in a dumpster behind the nearest Wal-Mart, you're no doubt aware that President Trump just poked a hole in the "DACA" drama.  

DACA, as you know, stands for "Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals."  That's a really smarmy, plain vanilla way of saying it was an effort to legalize the approximately 850,000 "kids" that were brought here, illegally, by their illegal alien parents.  In other words, these "kids," many of whom are now 25 or over, were dragged here by their moms and dads as they crossed the border into America without first asking for permission.  As in "illegally." And "illegally" here in America, is, ummm, ILLEGAL!

I'm reminded of what then-Representative Sonny Bono had to say when asked what he thought of illegal immigration.  His answer: "Well, it's illegal, isn't it?"  Succinct.  To the point.  Brilliantly so.

So there's this big kerfuffle between the Republicans and Conservatives who believe that illegal means illegal, and that those who break the law should be made to pay for having done so.  And then there's the Democrats and "Progressive" Liberals, who don't seem to give a damn about that whole illegal thing and just want to ignore their crime and grant them some sort of official dispensation.  Kind of like it's a "no big deal" sort of thing. They want to get past all this unpleasantness so their new arrivals can get on with that whole voting thing, doncha' know.

Well, there are those of us who don't believe two wrongs make a right.  (Or if you're Chinese, two Wongs don't make a White.  Heh heh).  Their parents broke the law.  And their offspring are breaking the law by just being here.  The Righties will be mightily pissed if these "kids" and their illegal parents are given a pass for this.  And the Lefties will be mightily pissed if their future voters, assuming they're not already voting, will be made to pay ANY price at all for their transgressions.  They want them given a free ticket to the front of the line while all those other fools who actually played the immigration game by the rules laid out by canonized law and who are paying their fees and are waiting for up to ten years to be given approval to emigrate here legally.  Poor dummies...

So the question must be asked, what are we, the 'Murican people, to do with these nearly one million "kids?"  It wouldn't be fair to send them back to a place they don't know or even remember, to be sure.  It also wouldn't be fair to simply grant them a pass and issue them their citizenship papers, would it?  Ummm, no.  

So I, The Chuckmeister, have a suggested solution to this perplexing problem.  I suggest that we give each of these "kids" a choice:  Either go home yourself, back to Guadalajara, where you've probably never been and might not even speak the language, or send your parents back to where they started and choose to undo the crime they committed way back when.  

So, here's the deal.  Simple solution.  Stay here and be prosecuted, or send mommy and daddy back to Chapultepec and avoid them having to stand before the judge.  Some will take this option, and some won't.  But we, the American people, will see justice done.  We'll hold wrongdoer's feet to the fire, whether they wish to see justice done, or not. 

Or we won't.  And this whole sordid scenario will play out as just one more nail in the coffin of America's effort to establish a true representative republic.  Just one more piece of evidence that our Great Experiment has, after more than 200 years, crashed and burned.  Conservatives will wring their hands and wonder how this was permitted to happen, while uttering over and over, "Woe is me, woe is me." 

And Progressives will jump up and down with glee, clapping each other on the back in joy after having proved victorious in successfully removing one more "Right" we Americans used to enjoy.  They should be ashamed of themselves for having taken us one step closer to all out socialist control of our once-Great Country.  If they had any shame, that is... 

Fairness is that for which we all strive.  Or at least those of us who believe in fairness.  I guess we'll learn as this whole mess unfolds just exactly who among our elected representatives in D.C. shares our quest for that elusive fairness thing...

Sunday, October 15, 2017

"The Shortest Measurable Unit of Time."


It used the be that the shortest measurable unit of time was called a "Planck."  The scientists tell us that a "Planck" is the amount of time it takes for light to travel a "Planck's length" across one "Fermi," which is just about the size of a nucleon, in a vacuum.

That's like one millionth of a second.  Or something.  And a nucleon is, ummm, like really, really small!  Thank God for scientists.  Otherwise, who would make up this stuff?

Quicker than that, even, I, your loyal scribe, the graying Yoda you look to for inside information about esoteric effluvia, the flotsam and jetsam of modern life so important to those who actually care about such stuff, now report to you, is called the "Taxi."  That's the time it takes for the taxi behind you at a stop light in mid-town Manhattan to blow its horn once the traffic light in front of you has changed.  We're talking the blink of the proverbial eye here, folks! 

By the way, I just made that up.  Don't thank me.  It's why God put me here.  But hey, it makes sense, doesn't it?

But far and away the absolute quickest measurement of time these days is now called a "Gunny."  I know, because I just made that up as well.  That's the time it takes for some Left-wing jackass in Congress (a little less than half of them), or a late-night "comic" on TV (aren't they supposed to be funny?), or perhaps a room temperature-I.Q. actor or actress (isn't that just about all of them?) who fires up his/her/its Twitter-er-er thingie and proceeds to make a complete fool of him/her/itself following a tragic shooting.  

We have to add the "itself" here in California as so very many of my fellow residents are of confused sexuality.

So here's the scenario.  Some deranged bozo, looking to go out in a blaze of glory, and take a lot of innocent folks with him, or some jihadist Muslim deranged thug killer, looking to score those mythical 72 virgins, shoots up some place, kills far too many, and leaves lots of blood and carnage in his wake.  And usually he either kills himself when the cops burst through the door, or forces the cops to shoot him instead.  That last solution is called "suicide by cop," by the way.

And then, while the acrid smell of gunpowder and smoke is still hanging in the air like a hovering evil specter, the echo of the shots that just rang out still reverberating around the place like BB's in a boxcar, some Lefty TV talking head, or hipppmotizzzed Hollyweird actor, or an "inside the Beltway" lobbyist, or Democrat pol looking to whip up the crowd of fawning sycophants to help fan his reelection flames, will run, not walk, to the nearest microphone and begin babbling some incoherent condemnation of guns, gun owners, ammunition, country music-lovers, flags, pickup trucks, hot dogs, fireworks, anthems, beer and Republicans.  Oh yeah, and Global Warming. 

Yes, I know, another long sentence.  But hey, you understood what I was trying to say, didn't you?  And it's my blog so I can do anything I want, right?  If I like long sentences I can use them, right?  All you have to do is read it, right?  And you can't beat the price, right?

They will rail, they will shout, they will blame, they will shake their fists in anger, they will jump up and down.  They will demand, demand that we "do something, do anything" about the "lax" gun laws so as to prevent a recurrence of the latest tragedy.  Of course, if you ask them exactly which new law they would propose that would prevent another such shooting, they routinely come up short.  Their eyes glaze over.  They begin to mumble incoherently.  They can't name a single one.  Not a law can they come up with to prevent what this crazy fool in Vegas did recently.  And, with exception of Islamic religious killings, none of the other mass shootings we've been forced to live through of late, either.

Need proof?  Check out what Sen. Lady "Di" Feinstein had to say on "Face the Nation"last Sunday.  She, the woman who came up with the term "assault rifle" back in 1992 when she and her boss Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton were looking to ban all those black, evil-looking military-style but completely safe civilian rifles.  She, when asked if there was a prospective law that would have made the Vegas Massacre not happen, calmly said, "No!"  

So what do they want?  They demand GUN CONTROL!  Lots of it!  Gimme' some more of that GUN CONTROL, they shout!  Impose "Universal Background Checks!" (Hello Democrats!  We've had Federal background checks for all gun purchases since 1998!).  And close the so-called "Gun Show Loophole!" (No such thing!  All guns purchased legally, no matter where, including at a gun show, must be preceded by a Federal background check!).   And make the waiting period before citizens can buy a gun much, much longer! (You might be wishing to murder your probably abused wife so we can't let you have that gun you just purchased for a week or so!).  And declare the National Rifle Association, the oldest public-benefit charitable organization in the entire U.S., with more than 5 million dues-paying citizens like you and me, or at least, me, as a "terrorist organization" (thank you Keith Olbermann...you were, are, and always will be a world-class, totally worthless, boil-on-the-butt-of-humanity, jerk).  

But when reminded that Chicago, which has the very most stringent gun laws in the entire Untied States, and that they lose an average of about the same number of victims to gun crimes every month as died during that fateful concert in Las Vegas, they usually change the subject, or begin waving their arms and shouting in anger, or start to stutter uncontrollably, or accuse the questioner of being a "tool of the NRA," or a bloodthirsty Republican who doesn't care who dies at the barrel of a gun.  

But to sidestep the almost overwhelming urge to pontificate endlessly on this topic about which I know so very, very much, I will close with this:  If you're a Liberal Democrat Progressive-type, gun-hating, politically-correct, Social Justice Warrior, you'll advocate for total disarmament of the 'Murican people at the earliest possible occasion.  And if you're a red-blooded, God-fearing, bourbon-swilling, flag-waving, self-reliant, patriotic Son of Liberty, you'll wish all the panty-waisted, limp-wristed weenies to leave you and your guns alone, today, tomorrow and forever.  Strong letter to follow...

Moral of the Story If even 5% of ducks were armed, do you think anyone would go duck hunting? 

Monday, October 9, 2017

California Just Jumped the Shark.....

The State of California finally went and did it.

Yes, my friends, and you certainly are my friends, California has passed some doozie laws of late.  Laws like Saturday Night Live might have passed if given the chance.  Like, no longer arresting pre-pubescent prostitutes, or their pimps. Like outlawing dairy cows from farting (not kidding!).  Like citing those who light fires in their fireplaces below 3,000 feet of elevation.  Like threatening those who use the wrong pronoun when addressing others with fines and even jail terms.  Oh, and like forcing people to undergo a Federal background check every time they wish to buy some ammunition.  That last one could make a lowly $5 box of .22s cost you more than $50.00!  

I guess the gun-haters in California have finally discovered that making ammunition too expensive to buy turns expensive guns into expensive paperweights.  It's taken them awhile but they've finally figured it out.

But now California has "jumped the shark."  It has chosen to extricate itself from the United States of America.  Peacefully, not a shot fired.  It just up and gave the rest of America the proverbial finger.  How?  On October 4th our Civil Servant-for-Life, Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown, a failed Jesuit priest who will retire a multi-millionaire after never having held a private-sector job, signed into law the absolute dumbest piece of legislation in the history of the galaxy.  Maybe even the universe!  CA declared itself a "sanctuary state."  That means our once-Golden-but-now-seriously-tarnished-State has made it unlawful for our law officers to obey the law.

Think about that for a minute.

This new law prohibits CA's law enforcement personnel from cooperating with Federal ICE or the FBI or Homeland Security or other immigration authorities who wish to snag their illegal aliens from their jails.  That means known criminal illegals who have been locked up will now be released to wander the streets once their State beefs have been settled. That means they won't be detained so the Feds can come in and grab them.  That also means they'll be right here and ready to vote for their preferred Democrat candidate once Election Day comes around.

That means California has chosen not to enforce Federal law.  That means that Brown and his cadre of sycophantic lefty loons has now decided to pick and choose which of our Federal laws to obey, and which ones to simply ignore.  It bans local and State authorities from using immigration resources to "investigate, interrogate, detain, detect, or arrest persons for immigration enforcement purposes."  It also bans them from asking about a person's immigration status.  Isn't that the definition of anarchy, I ask rhetorically?  Of course it is!  But then again, California has been sliding down that slippery slope toward out-and-out socialism for decades.

In response (retaliation?) Immigration and Customs Enforcement has just issued a statement letting CA know that "at large" arrests of illegals will now take place.  It lays down the gauntlet for all the CA weenies who have decided to involve themselves in Fed business that the Big Boys will now be wielding the "long arm of the law" to sidestep local enforcement efforts. In essence, the Feds will round up illegals without consideration for local or state participation. 

So we all learned in civics class that the 10th Amendment to the Constitution specified that the states only granted the Federal Government certain specified powers, and nothing more.  Those four were 1) minting our money, 2) managing our mail delivery, 3) refereeing disputes between the states and 4) securing our borders.  That last one includes controlling immigration and naturalization.  Now, it looks like the State of California is choosing to unilaterally and unconstitutionally take one of those powers back.

So here's my solution for the Federal 'Gummint (to be filed under "Payback's a Bitch!"):  Provide your border guards with a "Bienvenido to Alta California!" pamphlet to be given to "recent arrivals" once they've dried off from their arduous journey here.  In that pamphlet would be a "Map to the Stars," showing our newly-non-invited-but-welcomed-with-open-arms-by-some guests" with the directions to all their favorite movie-types' homes.  They have big houses, right? I'm sure they wouldn't mind sharing, right?  And these famous illegal-lovers have been quite vociferous in their support of "open borders," haven't they?  I'm recommending they get to experience "open borders" in a manner quite a bit more up close and personal then they had previously considered. And let's not forget to throw in some coupons good for freebie food and drinks and and phones and car rentals and stuff like that.  I mean, that's the very least California's glitterati can do, right?

I'm sure that the Weenies-in-Charge up there in that jerkwater town known as Sacraupyours won't mind a bit getting all this free advertising.  After all, they must reeeeeely want all lot more Undocumented Democrats to replace all those middle-class citizens who have been leaving in droves from Venezuela-North toward the Real America.  

The States and the Federal Gummint getting along together just gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.  Doesn't it you?

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

An Open Letter to the NFL...

Date:      September 26, 2017

To:          Mr. Roger Goodell, Commissioner, National  
               Football League

From:     "The Chuckmeister"

Subject:  Patriotism and Whiny Kneelers

Dear Mr. Goodell;

As near as I can tell, the only difference between you and the Captain of the Titanic is that it's going to take you just a bit longer to drown.

You had a chance to do something meaningful last year in the wake of Mr. Colin Kooperdrink's having chosen to make his defiant Black Muslim disc jockey girlfriend proud by "taking a knee" when our National Anthem played at football games.  

Yes, Mr. Goodell, you had the chance to show your leadership by forcefully coming out in support of an already-existing official NFL policy condemning such actions as being detrimental to the game and to the country we love so much. A policy that permits you to levy suspensions, and penalties, and fines, and outright dismissals of any player who chooses not to conform to the rules as written.  

Put simply, the NFL's own rules prohibit everything these pampered millionaire whiners have been doing as of late; kneeling and stretching and hoisting the Black Power salute and scratching their asses.  In short, showing disrespect to the legions of brave Americans who have fought and died in the service of our Great Country since its baptism by fire. 

But you didn't.

You wimped out by puking forth a tepid missive that stated the flag is okay, but you know, like, ahem, so is giving the Black Power salute and sitting on your butt when the rest of us stand, hand over our hearts, proclaiming our fealty and support for the military, our First Responders and those who have gone before us in wars fought far and wide over more than two centuries.  You took the easy way out.  You didn't demand that your gladiators follow the rules.  You didn't condemn such actions. You indirectly added your support. 

Now you're reaping the whirlwind.

May I remind you that you refused to permit your players to wear a patch on their uniforms memorializing the 15th anniversary of 9/11, the worst tragedy to ever befall our great nation. You said it was too political. When asked by one of the Dallas Cowboy's players to permit his team to wear patches in honor of the five policemen assassinated by a sniper while protecting the participants in a Black Lives Matter protest in his town, you refused. You though it might offend somebody or other. (You're right. It did!  Me, and millions of others!). 

And now, when given the chance to redeem yourself by refusing to permit employees of the owners of the teams which hired them - and you - to disrespect the flag for which so many have fought and died, you wimped out again. No problem, you said.  And I'm guessing to you, it isn't.  

But to many of us, it is...

My own personal view is that this kerfuffle was caused by our decision to eliminate conscription after the Viet Nam, er, unpleasantness.  Since then, we've enjoyed an all-volunteer military.  Those wishing to serve our fine land will vote with their feet; they will head on down to the recruiter's office and sign up.  And so they have, by the hundreds of thousands, most specifically since 09/12/01.  Those joining up are patriots.  They want the very best for their Country.  And they're willing to sign a blank check made out to Uncle Sam for an amount up to and including their lives.  

But that means that the other 99% of us, as only about 1% choose to serve, must rely on the "few and the proud" to defend us.  And that also means that we've lost the benefit of having rich and poor, Black and White, young and younger, men and women, take up arms in our stead. And so we've lost that feeling of universal service. And with it the sense of patriotism that each and every person who serves learns to their very quick.  No draft, no reason to honor the flag under which we all served. Too bad...

But back to the point:  The reality is that Clinkerdrip's actions, and the actions of those that followed him in his lame protests, led to a ratings disaster for the NFL last year. Viewership was down an overall 8% from the previous year. This year's ratings are down another 15%! so far. A recent survey showed that fully 34% of respondents would be willing to turn off football forever if these feckless misguided protests continue. You, Roger, are in a high-wire act, and you're beginning to lose your balance.

The NFL's media deal with the networks is worth about $2.5 Billion in revenue over a five-year period.  That revenue stream is predicated upon anticipated viewership ratings.  If they improve, the ad payments go up. And if they go dowwwwwwwwn, the opposite happens.  Ummm, like what's happening right now, Rog baby.  The owners are facing what could be a $250 Million Dollar haircut just in 2017 if current ratings trends don't improve.  And I get the feeling they're getting a bit nervous. And if you're not, you're not as smart as you look.

And knowing this, you still decided to permit your paid performers - for that is exactly what they are -- they are no different than bull riders in a rodeo, or acrobats in a circus, or stand-up comedians at the Laugh Factory -- to make fools of themselves on national TV.  And a fool of you.  And fools of the owners who are paying you. And some think fools of those who continue to watch football on the NFL.  

Oh, and insult every single American who ever wore the uniform of this Great Country.  And their wives and husbands and brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas.  In short, millions and millions of Americans are outraged at what's unfolding on their TV screens.  Face it, Rog.  Everybody between Tahoe and Tallahassee thinks you're a raging dolt.  And you've earned every bit of their enmity.

I don't know why your owners don't send you packing.  You could open a consulting business with Colleen Klapperdangle.  Your ad line could be, "Hire us and we'll show you how not to do it!" 

The Chuckmeister

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Hillary's Book Tour.

As we all know by now, unfortunately, Hillary Rodham Clinton has just released her latest "tell all" book.  It's entitled, "What Happened."

Now, I don't know about you, but I would have thought that the title should have been followed by a period.  Or an exclamation point.  Or perhaps a question mark.  Or at least a semi-colon.  Or given that it's Her, a huge $ sign.

But no.  Just a naked "What Happened."  Even though she begins most every book tour commentary with "I take full responsibility for my loss, but my decisions and actions were not the reason I lost."  I love that intro.  It's so telling about her mental state and her grasp of reality. Kind of like, "I did  it, but I didn't really do it, somebody else did it, or several somebodies, unless my having done it proves to be helpful to me, but not if it isn't.  Or something..."

But back to the subject matter at hand.  It seems to me that Her book title indicated that she doesn't know, but would like to. But as to the rest of us, I'm pretty sure we already know. But for those who don't, I've compiled a list of all the reasons she's given on her book tour why she says she lost the 2016 Presidential Election.  And those reasons are very telling, my friends.  So telling I thought it might be interesting to my growing cadre of loyal readers to take a trip to this Land of Oz tour to find out for ourselves exactly what she has in mind for us, her loyal subjects.  

So, in no particular order, and without editorial commentary of any kind, more or less, here is a representative sampling of those excuses...er, reasons.  Most are direct quotes, but a few are paraphrases.  But all are accurate:

-  The Russians weaponized information.
-  The Trump campaign embraced 1,000 Russian agents in an effort to undermine my campaign.
-  Wikileaks release of data and my emails were taken out of context.
-  I would have been succeeding a two-term Democrat President.
-  The release of the James Comey letter significantly harmed my campaign.
-  I got no respect from Trump.
-  My emails were treated as the biggest scandal since Lord knows when!
-  My "traditional" campaign couldn't compete.
-  The "tech revolution" weaponized data and information for the very first time.
-  "Citizens United" campaign financing undermined my effort.
-  The governors and legislatures of Red States did their very best to suppress their voters.
-  President Obama could have made a Presidential address to the nation supporting my campaign, but he didn't.
-  I inherited nothing from the Democrat Party.  
-  The DNC's data was mediocre to poor, and they were effectively bankrupt and threatened with insolvency.
-  I was hampered by the idea of a woman being elected to POTUS.
-  The question of equal pay for equal work.
-  Sexism and misogyny.
-  Negative stories about me in the press and on cable.
-  The unprecedented interference in my campaign by the Trump campaign.
-  I got no respect (with apologies to Rodney Dangerfield. Sorry, couldn't help myself).
-  Bernie's not a Democrat.
-  My emails were the biggest nothingburger ever.
-  Manchurian content farms (Whaaaaat?  Wha' dat?) (Sorry again).
-  The many attacks on me were sexist.
-  Radio broadcaster Alex Jones.
-  Foreign power interference.
-  Joe Biden didn't support me sufficiently.
-  Republican supporters continued to harass me.
-  I didn't break any rules.
-  Facebook stories ("?," again).
-  People wanting "change."
-  Questionable campaign donations from the Koch Brothers.
-  Incessant negative stories about me in the Drudge Report.
-  Massive voter suppression, particularly in the Black Community (where is that Black Community, exactly?).
-  Hostility from The Today Show's Matt Lauer.
-  I had the election stolen from me even though I was very responsible and not at all careless.  (About anything.  Ever.)
-  And, of course, "low information voters."

I actually had to pare this listing down so as not to put my dear readers to sleep.  But this should give you a sense as to how Ms. Clinton is dealing with her (second) loss.  I, for one, although having not read the book, which I have no interest in so doing, although it's now more accessible to average folks like me due to Amazon's having just reduced the price from $30.00 to $17.99, am extremely grateful for her thoughtful list of reasons why the election was taken from her next-in-line, deserving grasp. Too bad.  Maybe next time.

Yeah, I know, it was a long sentence.  My blog, my sentence length...  

I can't help but thinking that Ms. Clinton left out several even more obvious reasons why she lost the campaign.  Those would include:

-  Undesired changes in barometric pressure.
-  Congress' failure to increase the minimum wage.
-  Coal.  And coal miners.
-  Global Warming.
-  Dirt.
-  North Korea.
-  South Korea.
-  East and West Korea.
-  The "vast, right-wing conspiracy."
-  Solar flares.
-  Opioids.
-  A shortage of pantsuits.  
And finally,
-  Non-voting illegal aliens.

I'm pretty sure she'll learn from this painful experience and do better next time.  Please God, I truly hope there's a next time... 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Hurricanes and Global Warming...

A short while back a whole spate of glamorous celebrities hosted the "Hand in Hand" fundraiser for victims of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma.

It was on multiple channels, and in prime time.  They raised more than $44 Million.  That's nice of them.  The money is sorely needed.  But it would have been even nicer if they would have just showed up, make their spiel, collected the dough and were chauffeured on back to their tony Beverly Hills digs.

But they didn't.

Several of the more aged of them felt that we, undeserving rubes that we are, needed to be educated and enlightened by their wonderful selves about the deleterious effects of human-caused "global warming" (GM), and why it will kill us all if we don't...ummm...do something. Stevie Wonder even chose to share with us that we are "blind" or unintelligent if we fail to see that GM is due to human activity.  Cute.  

Babs Streisand scowled as she wagged her well-manicured finger at us unbelievers, letting us know in no uncertain terms that GM isn't "fake news."  It's real, she told us.  And that we must stop driving our SUVs and living in homes bigger than a shoe box if we don't want to die in a flaming inferno. 

A little guy named Bieber, whoever he is, and a graying gent named Clooney, and a tall Black chick named Beyonce, and a diminutive fellow called Leo, and several others must have felt that it was their God-given duty to bring us toothless "flyover" commoners up to speed on why we should be scared you-know-what-less about GM.  Oh wait, they don't believe in God.

And, of course, Alberto Gore has made hundreds of millions of $s touting GM, telling us that Polar Bears are drowning and the Arctic ice cap is melting and that Miami will be under 20 feet of water by...2005...if we don't heed his sonorous, preacherly warnings.  All this while living in a 20,000 square foot mansion in Nashville, consuming more than 25 times the electricity every month than the average family, and flitting around on a tired Gulfstream 2, the very noisiest and dirtiest of all the uber-expensive private jets.  So there.

Of course, Miami's still above sea level and Polar Bears can swim for 60 miles looking for a seal snack and the ice cap is right where it ought to be, thank you very much.  Has Al apologized for his incorrect predictions?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no!  He just released a follow-up docudrama that doubles down on his earlier predictions and excoriates us double-digit I.Q. dummies to get with the program before it's too late.

They all seem to believe that the two bigass storms that just hit, Harvey and Irma, are ironclad evidence that GM is reeeeeeeel, and that no one, anywhere, should be permitted to deny its existence.  It was just reported that Canada will start to prosecute those who publicly deny GM.  Those damn climate deniers!  The Brits are considering doing the same. It's become a sort of religion among the Liberal elite.  Of course, since they have no other religion, it's nice that they finally found something to believe in, right?  Druidism is looking for converts, so our aging stars should really look into that. Famed climate Scientist Jennifer Lawrence just stated that these storms were the result of Mother Nature punishing us 'Muricans for having voted for D. J. Trump.  

Don't you wonder why these elite celebrities make such a point out of routinely insulting half of their potential fans? Doesn't that prove that they're all dumber than a bag of rocks?

Sooooo, dear friends and loyal readers, The Chuckmeister, your faithful scribe without portfolio, decided to look into the matter a bit further.  Not that I'm unwilling to take the word of poorly-educated folks who pretend to be somebody else for a living, mind you.  I mean, they make millions because they can sing and dance and memorize lines to be puked forth on cue (action!), so surely their words can be taken to the bank, right? But hey, I'm just one of those people who need a second opinion, doncha' know.

So here, kiddies, is the straight scoop:  There have been a grand total of 293 named hurricanes that have made landfall on the Continental United States since 1887. That's the year we started keeping tabs on such things, so that's where we begin our data gathering.  

And, for those who point at Harvey and Irma as proof that GM is going to roast us all in a fiery Hell, there have been a total of  75 years in the intervening period in which five or more hurricanes have reared their ugly heads.  In eleven of those years there were ten or more.  Ten!  So two in any one year isn't unusual.  In fact, the only reason these two were notable is because they scored direct hits with above Cat 3 ratings when they made landfall, and happened to cause significant damage. 

In fact, with exception of Hurricane Sandy in 2012, which ripped New York's Rockaway peninsula to shreds, only smallish Cat 1 storms have made landfall since Katrina unloaded on New Orleans back in 2005. So, with apologies to S. Wonder and B. Streisand and L. DeCaprio and Beyonce, and all their really special little friends, no, there hasn't been a "rash" of GM-caused hurricanes unloading on us poor guilty humans.  

In fact, let me remind the reader that back in 1975 the magazine Newsweek ran a blaring headline on its cover, stating, "Are we ready for the coming Ice Age?"  Perhaps they hadn't yet discovered back then that they could made a big bunch of dough by shaming the public into rolling over for a big tax increase in order to forestall a fiery Hell.

So far, Irma has killed a total of 11 people, and 8 of those were in an old-age home in Hollywood Hills, Florida, victims of presumed criminal activity.  Contrast that factoid with the hurricane that hit Galveston, TX in 1900.  A total of 8,000 perished in that storm.

By the way, since the Galveston tragedy, and up until the recent day, there was no such thing as global warming before Katrina hit.  It had not yet been "invented" by Leftists who figured out that they could use fear (the sky is falling!) to wrest a bunch more tax money out of gullible 'Muricans' pockets by using it as a lever.

Think Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown, Guv of Taxifornia, if you need proof. Old Jer is a big believer in GM.  So much so that he's spearheaded "cap and trade" legislation in the once-Golden State to "fix it."  He seems to believe that there's a 60,000 high Plexiglas wall enclosing CA, preventing the smog and soot and dirt in China's and India's air from polluting our air.  He's obviously unaware that what's in the atmosphere in China today will be here in a week.  So he makes it even tougher to start and business or earn a living here due to onerous additional - and unnecessary - taxation.

So, let's summarize.  Whether you want to call it Global Warming (the globe is NOT warming!), or Climate Change (it's always changing!), or Climate Chaos (the only chaos I can see is among this bunch of flim-flam artists who are trying to figure out what to call it next!).

One Mr. John Coleman, Co-Founder of Weather Channel, tells us that we're dumbass fools if we buy into this nonsense.  I'm not, are you?