Wednesday, March 31, 2010


As you may have heard, health care reform legislation is now the law. And a big part of it is that insurance companies may no longer reject you for pre-existing conditions. Cancer, diabetes, heart disease? No problem. You'll get insurance for the same price as your average 27 year-old Ironman tri-athlete. This serves those money-grubbing insurance companies right, don't you think? This new law should lower Big Insurance's outrageous 2.2% average annual pre-tax profit margins significantly, at least until they go flat broke.

But the really good news is you don't have to buy it until you absolutely have to have it. Oh, you'll have to pay a fine if you refuse to play nice and purchase it, but the fine will cost you much, much less than will the insurance. Considering this, it struck me that, for convenience sake, State Farm, Allstate, Farmers, Blue Cross, etc., should simply cross-train ambulance drivers and EMTs as insurance salesmen. Then, after they scrape what'[s left of you up off the pavement following a crash, or collect you from your foyer after a stroke or heart attack, they can simply sign you up, lights flashing and siren sounding, while you're on your way to the hospital. Then, you'll be able to enjoy what used to be the greatest health care system on planet Earth. Assuming, that is, that there will be any doctors at the hospital to treat you once you've arrived...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Attorney Full Employment Act of 2010

Imagine how much less entertaining this whole health care reform deal would have been if we still had a representative form of government. If we did, the President and the Democrats in Congress would have read the tea leaves. They'd have realized that two out of three Americans don't support the legislation they just passed. They would have ditched it, preferring rather to come up with incremental, focused, targeted, bipartisan measures to reform the health care situation in our Country. But they didn't.

Instead they chose to unilaterally (without a single Republican vote) give us political junkies a veritable cornucopia of beyond-the-pale fodder to keep us front-row observers busy watching this once-in-a-lifetime political theater unfold. Sort of an "As the Stomach Turns" soap opera. Except, unfortunately, it's reality.

So now we'[ll get to see what happens when $526 Billion is cut from Medicare to make it stronger. If strangling an entitlement of money can make it stronger, I recommend cutting funding for welfare, food stamps and unemployment by a like amount. Let's see how much stronger they become. And then another $500 Billion in taxes will be extracted from the "rich." Um, I think that "rich" means you and me. And another $300Billion-plus will come from fines on individuals who choose not to buy health insurance because the fines are cheaper than the insurance. And from taxes on companies which choose not to insure their employees' health anymore because the fees would be cheaper than the premiums. All this to purchase health insurance that won't even kick in until 2014 at the earliest.

We'll get to watch another 100 commissions and councils and committees get formed to oversee this behemoth. We'll get to observe our unemployment rate go down as another 150,000 people are hired on our nickel to administer this massive bureaucracy, and another 16,500 will join the IRS to hunt down and jail the scofflaws who choose not to participate in all this fining and taxing. We'll watch as the Government nationalizes student loans, like it did the car companies, the investment houses, the insurance companies and the banks. Take a look at Venezuela if you want a preview of what could follow. And we'll get to see first-hand what it means to have one-sixth of our economy subsumed by those same nice folks who can't seem to figure out how to deliver our mail on time and on budget.

But there's one thing that's for sure. There are already 37 states ready to sue the Government to keep this monstrosity at bay (13 filed yesterday!). Their beef has to do with never in our Country's history have the Feds mandated anyone buy any goods or services until now. And for another huge gob of unfunded mandates foisted on the states. It's thought to be unconstitutional, oc course, if that matters to anyone anymore. I'm calling this the "Attorney Full Employment Act of 2010," because I foresee years and years of litigation to forestall or ameliorate this legislation's toxic effects, where the only ones who get over are the lawyers. At least SOMEBODY gets over.

I also foresee it would be a very good time for Democrat lawmakers to update their resumes. They're likely to need alternative employment come November 3rd. The good news for them is there's likely to be some openings at the IRS...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Dennis the Menace

U.S. Representative Dennis Kocinich called a press conference this morning. He explained why, after having signed a commitment to never, ever vote for Obamacare, why he is now doing exactly that. Imagine. A politician breaking his word.

You know Dennis. He's the youngest Mayor in Cleveland's history. He's the guy who bankrupted it during his first term. He's the fellow whose wife is two feet taller than he is. He's the weenie that would make Karl Marx appear absolutely right-wing in comparison.

What did Dennis get for proving to America that he lies like a rug? A ride on Air Force One. Barry rode him to Ohio so he could be displayed like a circus clown to a group of lefties at a faux town hall meeting. This was all it took, apparently, to change his vote from principled opposition to slavish, feverish approval.

If this is true, I have an idea. 747s are really big airplanes. They routinely cross the oceans with 400 or more passengers. We know there's something like 245 Democrat congressmen/women/others. Hey Barry, why not simply load up all the Dems and take them on a nice little junket all around America. Fly them really low over the Grand Canyon. Maybe a tour of the Great Lakes. A nice pass over downtown Manhattan, while scaring the crap out of New Yorkers once again, could work as well. Ply them with expensive liquor during this trip and you'll have them panting like bloodhounds.

Then, once safely ensconced back in Foggy Bottom, they'll vote whatever way they're told by San Fran Nan and Dirty Harry. Health care reform will pass and we, the people, without further ado, can get about the business of throwing these bums out once and for all. I just hope it doesn't result in a revolution. Or maybe I do...

Monday, March 15, 2010

Health Care Reform in Brief

For those who have been locked in a closet somewhere for the past year, please allow me to summarize this interminable, exasperating health care reform debate in the fewest words possible.

The Democrats want to take $500 Billion from Medicare and put it into the new health care plan. They say this will make Medicare stronger(!). Then they want to increase taxes on the "rich" by $500 Billion to help pay the rest of its Trillion Dollar-plus cost. "Rich," by the way, I think is anybody who makes more money than you do. Then they want to fine anyone who fails to buy health insurance and any business that chooses not to offer health insurance. Then they want to start collecting the taxes and imposing the fines and fees to fix this "emergency" immediately, but not offer any health coverage until 2014. Think of it as ten years of taxes and fines and fees to cover six years of services. And they say it will reduce the Federal deficit. Let's see now. When you collect scads of money and fail to pay out anything, how could it not? Andrew Ponzi and Bernie Madoff would be proud.

By the way, did you hear that the Prime Minister of Canada flew to Florida last week to get open heart surgery? No? Turns out he couldn't get services at home. He was going to have to wait eight months for the operation in Canada, by which time he'd have been toast. I kind of feel sorry for the Canadians. Once this travesty passes, they'll have nowhere to go. Of course, neither will we...

Monday, March 8, 2010

Lynching KSM

Psst! Are there any Mattel toy designers out there? If so, you're gonna' like this. I have an idea for a sure-fire winner toy that'll knock 'em dead this Christmas. Read on...

Have you seen the picture of Kalid Shiek Mohammed? You know, the one they took just after his capture? The one with him in white robes with a checkered red tablecloth headband, the deer-in-the-headlights look on his face and the bushy beard the size of New Hampshire? It struck me that this picture is just begging to be turned in to a new toy doll and game for the little tykes to play with this Christmas. I can see it all now. The doll will come in a kit complete with everything necessary to try KSM for planning the attack on the World Trade Center. No longer must we argue about whether he should be tried as a civilian and allowed to spew his hateful rhetoric in downtown Manhattan at the cost to our citizens of $200 Million a year, or in a secret military tribunal on Gitmo or some other Army installation somewhere. Nope. The kit will come with everything necessary for your little angels and their friends to conduct their very own trial for this murdering thug. And once they've found him guilty, which, according the President and the Attorney General, they most certainly will, a noose will be supplied so they can string him up without further delay or appeal. Won't it be fun for the little ones to tighten the noose around this guy's chubby fascist neck?

So, Mattel people, give me a call and I'll be pleased to license my "killer" idea. Just a small royalty is all I ask. Later on, once the market's been established for terrorist dolls and games, we can move on to the Badmood Amadinnerjacket edition. I Thought you'd like it...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Let's Compare Media

Ever wonder what the media in the U.S. and Venezuela have in common? Quite a lot, as a matter of fact.

The media in both the U.S.A. and Venezuela are house organs for their respective administrations. Both report exactly what their presidents want them to report. Both extoll the virtues of their fearless leaders. Neither would ever report anything controversial, or defamatory, or even accurate, so long as that tidbit of accuracy could detract in the least from the glorius plans and strategies of Obama/Chavez.

There is a difference, however. In Venezuela, Chavez has achieved his hegemony over the media via the force of arms. He's nationalized the media, ousting management of radio and TV stations that didn't toe the company line. He's jailed dissident reporters and columnists who refused to kowtow to his dictates. It's reported he's "disappeared" many former critics who failed to fall into line with his Marxist revolutionary views. In short, in Venezuela you either report what Chavez wants you to or you never report again. Or in some cases do anything again, for that matter.

In the U.S. it's the same, but just a little different. Our fawning, sycophantic media so love this transformational, post-partisan, water-walking messiah that they would rather stab themselves in the eye with a #2 Ticonderoga than to report something - anything - that could be construed as even remotely negative. Were they to do so they'd lose their invitation to Beltway cocktail parties. No, they must only report the news that casts an aura of Heaven-sent goodness on our new president. And the reason they do so is because that's the way they were trained. The profs at our vaunted J-schools are nothing more nor less than aging, tie-died, summer-of-love, Haight-Ashbury hippies straight from the sixties. And the minions they've puked forth over the years to guard our freedoms as members of the fourth estate are for the most part their polished, brainwashed progeny. Only now they have patches on the sleeves of their tweed jackets, sip lattes and drive Volvos. Any wonder why the news we get via the media is only the news they want us to know? The New York Times' century-old motto is "All the news that's fit to print." It should be changed to "Some of the news we've carefully selected that benefits the liberal agenda and allows us to pretend to be unbiased, but just between ourselves we know better...wink, wink."

Need proof? Last April 15th the very first Tea Party was held on the Mall in Washington, D.C. ABC reported that "several hundred" showed up. NBC reported that "...estimates of as many as 7,500 were in attendance." The London Mail reported the party drew somewhere between 1 - 1.5 million. Either the Brits can count better than our vaunted journalists, or their agenda was to diminish the protest by minimizing the turnout. Even on 3/27/10 when a Tea Party was convened in Searchlight, NV to excoriate Harry Reid, Majority Leader of the Senate, the old media reported the turnout as follows: NBC = "Several dozen." ABC = "Up to several hundred." Actual attendance? Somewhere between 8 - 9,000. There are hundreds of other examples I could draw upon to make my case, but you already know the truth; dinosaur media bias is rampant. And it's not going to change until its purveyors run out of customers to watch their newscasts and buy their newspapers.

Last week during Anderson Cooper's evening news hour it was reported that 25,000 in a key demographic were watching. 25,000 in the whole of America! We're well on our way...