Friday, December 7, 2018


So I pigged out on LivePD over the past couple of days.

Yes I did, Pilgrim.  It was raining, you see, and ex-Prez G.H.W. Bush died and it took a week to give him the send off he deserved.  I don't do funerals over an hour.  Anything past that will find me sneaking out the back of the church.  One could watch a week-long remembrance of this great man on TV, non-stop, 24/7, or you could do some other stuff you've been putting off for a rainy day.  And one of those things for me was to take a look at this whole LivePD phenomenon.  

Arts and Entertainment Channel, a cable network more focused on ghosts and the dead and seances and other spooky stuff, started following 7 or 8 county sheriffs and their staffs across the fruited plain, in 3 hour blocks each Friday and Saturday night.  So we, you and me, get to be the "fly on the dashboard" as deputies stop one car after another for various and sundry infractions, and race toward burglaries in progress, and solve all manner of domestic disputes.  

These police agencies, all but one being sheriffs departments, are located in SC, TX, MO, CA, OH and FL, to name but a few.  And all day Fri and Sat we can curl up by the fireplace, pour a nice snifter of the finest Napoleon brandy and watch the very dregs of our society break laws all willy nilly and be brought to justice by the fine, brave and hard-working members of the law enforcement community.

(Flag waves in background, accompanied by soft strains of America the Beautiful) 

One Dan Stein, ex-legal reporter for several broadcast channels, helms this noble enterprise.  He's flanked by super-cop Tom Morris Jr., ex-D.C. police investigator, and most usually by Sgt. Sean "Sticks" Larsen, team leader of Tulsa's Gang Unit.  So Dan deftly flits from one violation to another, like the true maestro he is, one car chase to another, one breaking and entering to another, and one domestic "he said, she said" to another for hours on end!

You do not need to change the channel!  No siree Bob!  All manner of reasons why you went to college and paid your bills and kept your nose clean will be paraded in front of you for hours.  The dregs of society you don't run into everyday, thank God, will be in plain view for all to see.  Drunks, migrants, ruffians, thieves, wife beaters, bank robbers, etc., etc.  And why, you might ask, does anyone watch this crap?

For the same reason people watch TV daytime soap operas, me thinks.  Because we like to see someone who's worse off than we are.  Somebody whose life has cratered, their husbands/wives/others have left them, they're addicted to meth/heroin/cocaine, you name it, the prosecuting attorney is knocking on the door and their boss has given them the pink slip.  Lives asunder!  Broken relationships!  Failed businesses!  And every single one of them is NOT GUILTY!  They say.  

Yes, we get to watch the rich and the famous go down in flames, right before our very eyes.  And the non-rich and not-so-famous.  It's just delicious!

And it's the very same with LivePD, and its spin-offs, PDCam and PDPolice Patrol.  So if you ever wanted to be a cop and just couldn't for some reason or other, or you just like to watch stupid idiots get caught for drunk driving or running drugs or bank robbery, you need to make this your guilty pleasure.

Some helpful hints to keep you off LivePD:

-     Make sure your license plate light works.  Every week some schulb gets pulled over for a burned out license plate light and winds up with 25 pounds of methamphetamine in the trunk.  The same with tinted windows or other obvious infractions.  No sense giving the "man" any unfair advantages.

-     If you're black, try not to invoke the name of Rodney King if pulled over for drunken driving.  Especially in the south.  You'll still go to jail, but perhaps with a concussion.

-     And speaking of drinking and driving, memorize the number of your local Uber, and then call it if you've had a few.  Don't just think about it; do it.  It could save you $10,000 and a lot of grief.  If you'd like to know what you face if you don't, watch LivePD.

-     About a third of the calls relate in one way or another to domestic disputes.  And cops are supposed to become social workers when they get such a call.  Try not to punch out your significant other or you'll wind up being my entertainment.  The patience these pros show while trying to unwind domestic disputes is truly inhuman.

-     And finally, running from the fuzz when the Blue Light comes on will compound the fracture, as Lucille Ball used to say.  They'll still get you, but you'll be a felon for evading, in addition to everything else.

Folks, we're not rich, and we didn't win the lottery, and our lives aren't great as they could be, but dammit!  We're better off than those poor ass**les, aren't we!

Yes, my friends, we are.  And that's why we need to give this offering a try.  Just an hour or two can make your life seem sooooooooo much better!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Wanna' Know Why...?

Ever wonder why the so-called MainStreamMedia (MSM) hates The Donald so much?

You know, the old-line, dinosaur, alphabet, yesterday's news, Left-wing Lap Dog Media?

Besides the fact that he's no longer a Democrat, I mean?  Remember, he was a Democrat for more than 40 years.  A reliable Democrat.  The fact that he left The Fold makes him even worse than a Republican who never knew the Democrat "Promised Land."

Kind of like an African-American deciding to decide for him/herself and vote according to their enlightened self-interest, instead of just skin color. 

No.  The fact is they hate him because he's the very first POTUS in the history of the United States of America who hasn't needed to kowtow to the MSM.  Heretofore, all Republican presidents needed to kiss the MSM's ass in the fervent hope that they might, just might...get some favorable press.  They usually didn't. Remember how skillfully the MSM filleted the Bushes for being..., ummm, well, Republicans?  And how they could do nothing but smile through clenched teeth?

Not The Donald!  He has his own printing press; his Twitter Feed!

Trump uses his Twitter account like a billy club to circumvent the MSM and speak directly with the 'Murican people.  A conversation they don't want him to have.  Because he might, just might, bring us around to his way of thinking.  And that's a fate worse than death to the weenies who infest the MSM.

Of course, it's always possible that the very same MSM that wishes him erased might just come around to his - and our - way of thinking.  But that's usually a misplaced wish.  Almost all journalists are Democrats.  They were likely born into a Democrat family.  They vote Democrat.  They give their money to Democrats.  Like 92% of them!  And that's by an NBC national poll!  Worse yet, they permit their political leanings to influence their reportage.  That, Pilgrim, is a no-no.

Doubt me?  Have you ever heard of a journalist starting a business?  Or hiring or managing anyone?  Or signing a check on its face?  Me neither...

So anyone expecting favorable treatment from these partisans is smoking some of those Anti-God cigarettes.  (Which are now legal, by the way.)  Not the bastion of Conservatism, they.  So the fact that they would dump on The Donald every chance they get isn't surprising.  In fact, any positive press he gets out of this MSM is a near miracle.

So, unlike all previous POTUS-ses-ses, this one conducts his own White House Communications Department.  24 hours a day.  To the chagrin and anger and vitriol of the entire Press Corps.  And if you need proof as to how the MSM views this turn of events, just watch NBC's sophomoric Jim Acosta accost the Press Secretary at the next Press briefing...

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Update From the Underground:

- C O N F I D E N T I A L -

...For Your Eyes Only... 

Command Bunker, Somewhere in Southern California

December 4, 2018

Fellow Patriots!

As I write this we're almost a month post-Election.  Our worst fears have been confirmed.  Although 7 House of Representative contests favored the Republicans when the polls closed, Voila!...within a few days enough "extra" votes had been found to tilt the election their way.  All seven.  All of them.  

This little "surprise" comes as a result of Assembly Bill 1921, the 2016 California law that made "Ballot Harvesting" legal.  A law, apparently, that no one knew about except the Democrats.  

What's ballot harvesting, you might ask?  This Machiavellian little jewel permits people to gather up all the votes they can from their friends and neighbors who just "couldn't make it to the polls," and then cast them on their behalf.  Ummm, yeah.  You go door to door and collect your neighbor's ballots and take them on down to the voting place.   

Or you go into your garage and collect your neighbor's ballots; his, and all 32 of his adult children... 

That, by the way, is a felony in at last three states.  It's called "cheating."  It's called "ballot box stuffing."  It's called "manufacturing votes."  In California it's called "being helpful."  

That's how more than 250,000 "extra" votes wound up getting dumped in bushel baskets at the County Recorder's Office within the proscribed post-election period.  

And that's how five Orange County Representative races which had been reliably Republican for decades, decades, and which had been close or trending for the Republican when the polls closed on Election Day, wound up turning Bright Blue within a few days.  They just "harvested" enough votes to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

And if they needed more, me thinks they would have found them.  

Funny.  I don't recall any election when the Democrat was leading at midnight on Election Day that wound up later losing to the Republican, do you?

I heard via the jungle drums that the Dems were surprised that the Republicans didn't do the very same thing, given that it's now legal.  I wonder that as well.  Perhaps there's no Republicans left in Sacrascrewyou to have noticed.

Anyway, this is on top of their "Jungle Primary" voting system, meaning that only the top two vote-getters in a primary race here will appear on the final ballot.  And in our case, those top two are always Democrats.  So we get to vote for the Democrat we don't like, or the Democrat we don't want, or just don't vote.  Which to them is just as good.  Creative, don't you think?  

Anyway, via these methods our once-Golden but now severely tarnished State has been completely subsumed by the Democrat Party.  47 of our 54 Assembly seats are now controlled by them.  That's waaaaay in excess of a supermajority.  That, coupled with the Dem supermajority in the Senate, means they can, and unfortunately do, conjure up and then pass without a single Republican vote the very most asininely stupid, ignorant and foolish laws.  And then they put them on our Lefty Guv's desk.  Which he promptly signs.

Our minority is now so minor (how minor are we?) we're now sort of like the Liberals' red-headed stepchild.  The Kurds in Iraq.  Capitalists in Cuba.  Christians in the Middle East.  Conservatives in Hollywood.  

So now, without a single Republican in Statewide office, we're girding our loins for the coming legislative onslaught.  We've already heard that they intend to ban legal, so-called "assault weapons," and then actually try to confiscate them.  Their dimbulb Rep. Eric Swalwell just offered up that if we refused to hand over our AR-15 Modern Sporting Rifles when they come for them, they'd be happy to nuke us.  Nuclear weapons!  

No kidding, he actually said that, along with a bunch of other uniquely idiotic pronouncements.  

To say that he, and most of his other unemployable sycophantic compadres, has never had an original thought would be an overstatement in the extreme.  But they now control all the levers of power.  And we're in deep kimchee...

But this will not be the only overreach they intend to take.  Increased taxes on the "rich," which means anyone who makes more than you do; and new and expanded "global warming cures" and the taxes to pay for them to insure we can "continue to breathe well into the next century;"  Of course, we'll all be broke, but we'll be able to breathe.  And electric cars will continue to get the love.  So much so that they'll likely outlaw your gas burner.  By as early as 2025.  Really.  Global warming and all that...  

And water rationing.  And new LGBTQMDXTCN favoritisms.  And required bathrooms for all the various genders and sexes.  And mandatory Welcome Wagon parties for newly-arrived illegal aliens.  And Who-Knows-What-Else? 

So I suggest we continue to prepare for the worst while they unleash their reign of terror.  I just called U-Haul and they're fresh out of stuff you can rent to make your escape.  Save your effort.  You're stuck.  But just think about how much fun we'll all have when a few bureaucrats in electric cars come a'callin' to gather up all our estimated ONE MILLION scary-looking ARs.  

Affordable entertainment is always in short supply, especially for old folks on a fixed income.  The future should provide us with more entertainment than we could have previously imagined.  

Remember, fellow Patriots, keep your heads down, your powder dry, and your radios turned to the emergency channels.  Future updates will be forthcoming as circumstances warrant.

Chuckmeister, out...

Thursday, November 29, 2018

A New Plan for the Border...

"One ton tomata, I was a one ton tomaaaaay - taaa.  One ton tomaaaaaata, I was a one ton tomaaataaaaaa...


Oh, excuuuuuse me!  I was singing one of those Mexican songs I love so much.  

I was just thinking, maybe it wasn't such a good idea for 'Murica to let Meheeeeko off the hook at the end of the Mexican-American War.  BTW, since we won, shouldn't it have been called the "American-Mexican War?"  Just askin...'

Anyhoo, we decided to just take the area north of the Border they called "Aztlan."  That's Meheeekan for "North of the Area The Gringos Claim as Their Border, but we all know it really isn't."  Actually, it could probably mean something else, but who knows?  The area we "settled" for following the War stretched all the way to San Francisco, east through UT and NV and downward through a chunk of OK and all the way to Brownsville, Tex-assss.  

Come to think of it, we could have just let them have San Francisco and wound up with a whole lot less trouble!  One of San Fran Nan's ancestors could have wound up as Speaker of the CA Assembly.  But hey, we could still carve it out even at this late date.  Maybe we could offer it to some (un)friendly socialist country.  Like China, say.  Hey Trump, build The Wall around San Fran!  Have to think about that one for awhile...

Back to the rant.  Since we kicked their collective arses, we could have just annexed Meheeeeko.  And they would have probably been better off it we had.  We all know Meheeeeko is owned and operated by about 500 old-line, gazillionaire patrician families, who've run this place into the ground for generations.  The rest of their poor people have little choice but to hire a coyote and make their way to The Promised Land!  And the folks who run that Country do everything they can to help them in that quest!  They even print maps to their "new country" and give them out to the "migrants" as they prepare to wade across the Rio Grande.  True.  Look it up.  

Just remember, the poor are Meheeeeko's Number. One. Export!  Before oil!  Before Volkswagens!  Before tortillas!  The Poor!  And they're damned good at it!  

If they don't have to feed them and we do, they win...

If you look at your handy Atlas, you'll find that Meheeeko claims 113,000,000 people; except about 25,000,000 or 40,000,000 of them have already moved here. I'd guess that number includes all their very, very poor, and all their very, very rich.  Try and get a table at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hilton; you'll likely find the tables all taken by expat Meheeeekano "royalty."

Anyway, there's still time left.  The economic "migrants" we call illegal aliens want in, and we're having to beat them off with a stick to keep them out.  If you take a hard look at Lost Angeles you'll get an idea what their idea of their "promised land" looks like.  And it's not pretty.  

Did you ever wonder why these "migrants" want to turn the place they "go" into the place they "left?"  We know that's true or the newly-welcomed "migrants" wouldn't be waving Meheeeekan and Guatemalan and Nicaraguan and El Salvadorean flags whenever the opportunity presents.  

So I suggest we just give it to them.  Just pack up and head south, to the area they're so anxious to leave.  Think of it.  Meheeeeeeko has about 4,000 miles of pristine shoreline.  Surf and sand and sun and waves.  And little else.  

Up and down the Baja, plus the Mainland.  4,000 miles.  Can you imagine how many luxury hotels we could build on 4,000 miles of tony beaches?  So, let's start all over.  And once we've begun to work our magic, again, I suggest we then build The Wall on that side of the Border to keep them out.  

Of Meheeeeeeko.

Just an idea.  Whaddaya think?

Monday, November 26, 2018

"Pre-Existing Conditions"

So I was gonna' about the hundreds of invaders from Somewhere South of the Border who did their dead-level best to storm past our San Ysidro International Border crossing yesterday.  Yup, as predicted, and promised, a reported 500 or so of those reeeely nice folks apparently grew tired of waiting to begin their American Dream.  So they decided to break in.  Without invitation or permission.  They mobbed the Border, throwing rocks and bottles at our guards, hoping to rush past them and get to their new jobs as nannies and lawn care experts for the Stars in Hollyweird.  

And our Border Protection forces responded by leveling pepper spray and tear gas their way.  Those of a Liberal persuasion were aghast, somehow forgetting that their hero B. Hussein Obama did the same thing back in 2013.  The gassing seemed to work, at least for now, as they were returned to Meheeeeko post-haste. 

Not knowing how to think about this occurrence, I immediately checked with the MainStreamMedia and CNN/MSNBC/NPR/PBS, but they told me it was nothing to worry about.  Just a few mommies and their hungry little children looking for a better life.  No caravan, no criminals.  So, feeling much better about the whole thing, I'll now return to my original subject for discussion.  Here goes...

Let's say for a moment you own a house.  Many do.  A really nice house.  One you've insured against fire, and theft, and all sorts of other potential hazards.  Everything except meteor strikes.  So you sleep well at night, knowing you're protected against nearly everything to the amount of loss you insured yourself against.  

And then let's say a meteor hits your house tomorrow.  And completely destroys it.  Nothing left.  Yuuuuge hole in the ground.  So, you call your State Farm representative and ask that he/she/it (gotta' remember California by adding the "it," you know) add "destruction due to meteor strike" to your policy, and then backdate it to the day before yesterday.

Ummm, what? 

Of course, the State Farm folks didn't factor meteor strikes into the premiums they agreed to charge you and you agreed to pay.  They only charged you for the risk associated with the potential losses I mentioned earlier.  So, your insurance company politely tells you to pound sand and you then file for bankruptcy.

Feces happens.

Now let's overlay this situation on healthcare.  You're well.  No health problems.  No history that would indicate to a health insurance company you represent any extraordinary risk.  So they "rate" you according to that reality.  And then they place you into a "pool" of like prospective clients, each presenting the same basic risk of loss to the company.  Whether that pool consists of 1,000 applicants, or 10,000, or perhaps 100,000, all represent the same relative risk profile to the insuror.  And remember...

...When you purchase insurance, you're betting the company that what you're insuring against will happen; they're betting it won't.

But what if you then contract cancer or some other debilitating and uber-expensive ailment?  You might find extreme difficulty in finding coverage, and then only at a much, much higher premium.  And you might find this to be unfair.  But life isn't fair.  And nobody said it would be.  Except for one Mr. Obama who told you he'd make Obamacare available, and somebody else would pay for it, and to hell with the insurance companies and their egregious profits.

But what Mr. Obama apparently didn't know, or knew but chose to hide from the 'Murican people (would he do that?), was that insurance companies cannot stay in business unless they can assess their risks and then apply dollar premiums that match that level of risk.  These insurors hire what's called "actuaries," who are sort of like uber-mathematicians, whose job it is to determine that risk.  

They also work for casinos.  They're the ones that determine the payouts on your slot machines, and the very same ones that make sure you lose.

But what if the plan all along was to weight down the insurance companies with unknown and unwanted risk, which could, and likely would, put them all out of business?  And then, Praise the Lord, the Good Ol' Gummint would be there, $Billions in hand, to step in and provide "Medicare for All."  Or, that's what they call it.  In truth, it would be "Medicare for None."  It would be socialized, "single-payor" medicine, and that's not the preferred model if quality care is desired.  

If you don't believe me, look up the statistics regarding Canadians who are right now laying in hospital beds across our Fruited Plain.  In 2016 fully 15% of Detroit's Henry Ford Hospital admissions hailed from Canada.  Hmmm.

But freebie healthcare can sure be attractive to those without it due to some pre-existing condition.  And certain weenie smarmy blow-dried politicians will be happy to promise it to you.    

Just vote for them in advance... 

Thursday, November 15, 2018

A Few Words To Live By...

The level of political discourse in our Great Country has never been at a lower ebb.

That old "my friends on the other side of the aisle," has somehow morphed into, "that old sexual pervert pedophile rapist burglar thief who cheats on his taxes and has the temerity to run against me, a patriot, for public office, simply must be taken out and horsewhipped."  

People are screaming at each other.  They are hounding folks out of restaurants and airports.  They are literally going nuts over anything and everything!  This has simply got to stop.  And in an effort to provide just a bit of a calming influence to the roiling waters, I'd like to pass along a saying given me to by an old Sunday School teacher friend:

"There's enough bad in the best of us, and good in the worst of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us."

So, The Chuckmeister passes this along to any of those out there in InternetLand who might be planning to act in a manner unbefitting a good neighbor and fellow American. 

Please don't.  It's not nice.

There.  I've fixed that problem.  What's next?

Monday, November 12, 2018

A Very Special Day...

November 12th.  A very special day, to my way of thinking.  

It's both my birthday, which is, ummm, pretty important to me, and it's Veterans Day, which is much more important.  To me and to everyone.  And I'd like to weigh in on both...

First, my birthday.  Three Score and Fifteen, I've attained.  A minor miracle!  I was a professional pool player for a time, you see, so I've backed out of more pool halls than most people have walked into.  Backed out of, as in, to try and keep body and soul together.  So growing more "seasoned" is quite an accomplishment.  One that permitted me to serve my country in uniform, get an education, meet my life partner, generate a fair-sized brood of fine daughters, and to hug my grand kids often.  

Big Time Stuff.

But it's also Veterans Day.  I was fortunate enough to serve in the Army back during that Vietnam "unpleasantness."  I didn't think the word "fortunate" applied back then, but I certainly do now.  Simply stated, it made me both a man and grew me up Right Now!  And I can tell you that the gigantic melting pot of mostly young males that it forced to live and work and fight and sometimes die together, changed the very fabric of our society for a generation.  

First because Blacks and Whites and Asians and Indians and everyone else got along just fine together, thank you.  That's because the guy on your left or your right just might just save your life someday.  Or you his.  So skin color somehow lost its cache, if you know what I mean.      

And second because it rekindled the same sense of patriotism that had been rampant across America immediately following WWII.  Pride in Country.  In the Flag.  In the Declaration and the Constitution and our Military and our First Responders.  Hot dogs and apple pie and picnics and parades and all that.  

A sense of patriotism I'm afraid we've since lost.  

And we lost it the day we stopped the draft.  The day we stopped forcing hundreds of thousands of young men of all color and background and economic circumstance and geographic location to sign up for the draft, no excuses, is the same day patriotism started to atrophy.  And maybe die.

Discontinuing the "homogenization" of our young men via conscription, generation after generation, I offer, is discontinuing the Patriotism Generator our Country needs to continue to flourish.  I take nothing away from the qualifications or ability or desire or talent - or even intellect - that our current Professional Military brings to the job.  It's far, far better than were our two-year warriors of the time.  But our society is worse off for the exchange.    

Less than 1% of our population has served in uniform.  Far less.  That means that the current generation which is calling the shots...has never been shot at.  Figuratively speaking.  And thus, has no skin in the game.  No sense of having bought and paid for one's birthright.  No sense of having paid a price for the unbelievable privilege of being born in the most miraculous place on Earth.  We won the Population Lottery, we did.  And paying a price for value received is now somehow passe.

I offer those who haven't served, or at least fear serving, can't quite imagine what it really means to sign a blank check made out to the American People for an amount up to and including one's life.  Can you?

So if you see a Vet today, or any day, please thank them.  For you, for me, for your kids, and for everyone.  Without the sacrifices they made, and the patriots before them, we'd likely be speaking a different language...