Friday, August 17, 2018

Definitions...

It seems that the term "socialism" is being bandied about more and more these days.

That's possibly due to the recent primary victory of a young woman with too many names from the Bronx, who has declared herself a "Democratic Socialist."  Wonderful.  I suppose she chose that club to join because Bernie Sanders is its President.  

BTW, this young lady just graduated from college with a degree in economics.  If you've been watching her TV interviews post-campaign victory, you'd agree she needs to sue her alma mater for malpractice.

And we're told that our Millennials, young folks from 18 - 35, are taking quite a shine to socialism as well.  I think they think that it means the Gummint provides everything you need, from cradle to grave, absolutely free, simply because you won the Birth Lottery and were born in 'Murica. 

Kind of like, that old saw, "There ain't no free lunch" no longer applies.

Oh yeah, and all those illegals might become proud Americans as well if the Dems take back the House in November.

But for purposes of accuracy, I'd like to provide some definitions for those whose education is economically-challenged.  Here goes:

Capitalism:  An economic theory by way of which the State has no ownership or control of Capital.  Beyond regulatory authority to insure public safety and welfare, the State has nothing to do with manufacturing, distribution, ownership or control.

Socialism:  The State controls all sources of manufacturing and distribution.  Ownership means nothing without control.

Communism:  The State owns all sources of manufacturing and distribution.

Marxism:  The State not only owns all those things, it owns YOU!

So how do they work in practical application?  Well, we know how well Capitalism works because it has enabled America to grow from nothing to the largest economy in the world in just over 200 years.  

Socialism has enabled Venezuela to go from the very richest country in South America 100 years ago to the very poorest country in the Western World.  Example:  If you have a full-time job there, and 64% do not, you can earn the equivalent of two cups of coffee a day for your labors.  And oh yeah, they've had to lock the zoo and patrol it with their military because the starving Venezuelans, who have each lost an average of 24 pounds last year, keep eating the animals.  And just yesterday their Central Bank just decided to "fix" their runaway, 1,000% inflation by "erasing five zeros from their currency."

So, if you have a 100,000 Bolivar note, which used to buy you a nice dinner out, you're now the grand owner of $One Dollar.  Still seem attractive?

More and more Democrats are calling for all-out socialism.  Once Trump was elected and they came to realize that their Chosen Leader, wouldn't, they launched an all-out effort to run him from office.  Everything they tried...failed.  And every time they failed they became ever more exasperated.  They kept doubling-down.  And while they were providing a glimpse of their carefully-concealed socialism streak during the course of their bleatings, the Legacy Media is doing their best to provide them with cover.  In short, there's an undercurrent of socialism running through old-line Progressive politics these days that should scare the Hell out of prospective voters.  NOTE:  It's been there since Woodrow Wilson, they've just hidden it pretty well.

My own personal opinion is that we lost a big chunk of what it means to be an American when we lost the draft.  It's been more than 70 years since our young have had to stand up and don the uniform of their Proud Country.  And with the loss of that sense of servitude, of pride, of ownership, we have also lost some of our patriotism.  Take a look at the sideline of your friendly NFL game this Sunday if you doubt me...

But it's not too late.  I think we're at a crossroads, America.  We have been trending downward by almost every measure for decades.  And there are those who are damned tired of it and trying to do something about it.  You and I will have a ringside seat while this battle of ideologies unfolds in front of us...

Saturday, August 11, 2018

From "C-List" to "A-List."

So you find yourself an aging, over-the-hill actor or actress (and these days, who can tell the difference?)."  The good roles have passed you by, but the rolls around your waist...haven't.  Your mansion needs a new roof, your Rolls-Royce has a balky transmission, and your Malamute-ShihTzsu-Great Dane-AKC registered crossbreed has a boil on its belly and needs a $54,000 operation.  

By a Veterinarian to the Stars...

You've got to make something happen to break back through and re-emerge on "The Scene," and start generating some of those Big Bucks "stars" like you are supposed to earn.

You've even considered taking a pick ax to The Donald's "Star" just to garner some media attention (has that been done yet?).  I mean, the pappawhatzits don't even chase after you anymore!

So, some of you may not know that I, The Chuckmeister, am a Certified Genius at public relations and crisis management.  And therefore I'm uber-qualified to provide my personalized Rx for the Tinseltown Over-the-Hill-Crowd who find themselves in need of some career guidance...

If you've slipped from the Top of the Heap to the Bottom of the Barrel, all you have to do is:

1.  Call a press conference and declare you're a sex addict.  State that it has ruined your life and your career and your marriage, but that you've sworn off that frowned-upon activity and entered rehab.  And that you'll be back, pretending to be someone else on that Silver Screen, before you're even missed!  Your fellow Progressive Social Justice Warriors will all say "Awwww!" in unison, and welcome you back within the fold. 

2.  Or, if you prefer, declare that you're a drug addict, and that it has ruined your life and your career and your marriage, but that you've entered rehab and you'll be back, Top of the Heap before your adoring fans can wipe the tears of sadness from their faces.  Think Robert Downey The Junior.  Worked for him, didn't it?

3.  Or, once again, you're an alcoholic, and your life and your career and your marriage is in the dumper.  Stated simply, your friends in Brentwood have removed your card from their Rolodex.  It's not that you don't get good roles, you don't get ANY roles!  Soooo, Pilgrim, you call a press conference, state openly and humbly that Evil Drink has ruined your life and your career and your marriage.  

Buuuuut, you're so very pleased to announce that you've entered rehab and you'll be back, memorizing lines, and preparing to receive your next Tony/Oscar/Grammy/Floatie/Dumpy/Crappy with mucho Progressive humility. 

Think back on all the so-called "celebrities" whose careers went from waaay down to waaay up by simply admitting a human foible, whether real or not, and then doing some of that public self-flagellation in penance.  The plastic two-dimensional folks in Hollyweird are soooooooooo predictable!   

Monday, August 6, 2018

I was thinking...

You know, I was thinking the other day (I know that will come as a shock to some of you, but trust me, it happens on occasion).  I was thinking that there's a simple, quite obvious and utterly "eureka" answer to the question of election hacking and meddling that so consumes the nightly news at most of our media outlets.

They are wringing their hands and pulling their hair about the Russians and how they helped The Donald steal the Election from Ms. Hillary.  And how they are hoping, nay praying (if they actually do that), that Mr. Meuller finds something, ANYTHING to hang around Trump's neck so he can be quickly impeached and we can get back to "normal" Governmental operations.  

And the politicians that so desperately need that Left-wing media attention so they keep those campaign donations rolling in, that they will do and say anything to advance the narrative; that Trump is a con man, thief, liar, traitor, con man, and did I mention he's a liar?  And that he colluded with Putin to pick Clinton's pocket.  And that he should be frog-marched out of our Oval Office and taken straight to Leavenworth.  Oh yeah, and Hillary installed as our 46th POTUS.  Before the sun goes down over the Washington Memorial.  That same day...

We be at an impasse, 'Murica.  Trump wants to do his job and be left alone and the Liberals in Congress and the Liberals in the MainStreamMedia (but I repeat myself) want to tar and feather him, and then draw and quarter him, and then impeach him.  And we're not going to get anything done until this Russian thing is settled.

So it struck me that there's an obvious solution to this problem:  Just place a sign outside every polling place in America on Election Day, saying... 

"Hacking Free Zone."


Yeah, that oughta' do it!  And just beside that sign, one reading...

"Citizens Only Beyond This Point."  

That's it, America!  We had the answer in front of of our eyes all along!  If a sign in front of a school saying "Gun Free Zone" will keep crazed, disaffected youts (what's a yout?) or  Islamic jihadist murdering thugs from whipping out their "assault rifles" and wiping out a bunch of innocents, then signs in front of polling places will keep prospective Russian meddlers and non-citizen illegal aliens from breaking our election and voting laws. 

You just cannot have it both ways.  If signs will keep people from shooting up a school (they won't), then signs will keep people from screwing with our election laws (they won't).  

Even if they're written in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS...

Friday, August 3, 2018

Honoring our Fallen Heroes...

The last Earthly remains of 55 of our soldiers, sailors and marines landed in Honolulu on Wednesday.  The plane carrying them arrived from North Korea, bringing our war dead to be repatriated with American soil.  A solemn, moving ceremony was conducted.  It was attended by more admirals and generals than have ever been gathered together before.  This was a Red Letter Day for America.  It deserved the attention of all those who believe they owe their peace and freedom to to the great men and women who've carried our banner into battle over the past 200+ years.  And have fallen...

We've been striving for more than 65 years to bring our dead heroes home.  Through the good offices of the Trump Administration, the process has begun.

You should know that when we choose to join the military we write a blank check to our fellow citizens and the Federal Government.  That check is written for a price of up and including...our lives. A part of the bargain that Government makes with our Fighting Forces is to never, ever leave them behind.  And that includes our dead.

Fox News covered the entire event, beginning-to-end.  CNN gave it a full 58 seconds of coverage.  MSNBC didn't feel compelled to mention it at all.

Those near either ocean seem to wonder why those in between, those in the so-called "flyover country," believe the MainStreamMedia is biased, and in some cases outright corrupt.  I direct those afflicted with this willful failure to accept the obvious to the foregoing data snippet.  They should need no further evidence.  

"Should," being the operative word here...     

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

The Epihany...

My kids went through life like a capybara through an anaconda.

At only 15 months apart, they grew up like twins...or quads.  My four daughters all came spewing out like so many pages from a Zerox machine.  Boom, boom boom!  One after another!  They they were!  To love and kiss and hug.  And to feed and clothe and educate and, and, and...

I can still (less than) fondly recall changing one while Elaine was feeding another.  All day.  And all night.  Every day, and every night.  Did I tell you Elaine was pregnant for five years?

Just trying to get laid, I was...

Yep, just wandering through life, selling stuff, making money and trying to get laid.  Just like every other single guy in America.  At that time.  No telling what single guys want now.  Not even sure that guys are guys here in California any more.  You know the old saying might actually have come true:  "California:  Where the men are men and half the women are too."  You can get arrested here for calling somebody by the wrong pronoun.  Near as I can tell the net result from eight years of the Obama Administration is you can now decide where you want to pee.  So we "normal" people just try and keep our heads down low and avoid attracting attention from "the authorities."  

But back to the cruel joke my soon-to-be wife played on me.  I told her all I wanted out of a relationship was a dozen cars.  She told me all she wanted was a dozen kids.  I said, "Sure, that sounds fair!"  Except, nobody told me you can't have a dozen kids and a dozen cars at the same time!  I'm not even sure you can have one car when you have even one kid here in CA anymore!   

Cars are expensive.  Let's start with the gas tax here.  We pay $0.62 a gallon more than the rest of 'Murica.  Why?  Because they can.  But kids are WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more expensive!  I had no idea that my kids would consume 112% of my entire income for a period of about 22 years.  My deal with my dearly departed wife was simple:  I'd make the money, and she'd spend it.  Yeah, turns out we were both pretty good at our jobs...

Turns out I made tons of money.  And she spent tons and tons of money.  And right smack in the center of that tsunami, that torrent, nay, that all-out-Hoover-vacuum-cleaner-suction-attack on my bank account was a thing called "braces."  My dentist readily admits he was put through Berkeley by the money we paid his orthodontist dad for installing braces on my kids.  All at the same time...

And then there's stuff like prom dresses.  And limos.  And college degrees.  And marriages.  and marriagesDid I tell you that guys are for some strange, never-be-known, archaic, medieval, unintelligible reason are expected to pay for their daughters' weddings?  Perhaps it has something to do with olde tyme customs such as dowries. Did I tell you that?  Well, they are.  And I was.  

However, my wife managed to get at least half of the last two weddings paid for by the grooms' families, which I'm led to believe was something of a custom-breaker.  So what could have been a retirement-wounding $120,000 outlay turned only into two-thirds of that.  Yeah, I know.  How lucky can one guy get?

The Good News is that I discovered I could become an ordained Minister of the Gospel here in crazy CA.  For a $5.00 fee I managed to be able to marry off the last two daughters and saved a bundle.  With Dana, I walked her down the aisle, turned around, asked the assemblage, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?  I then turned and said, "Her mother and I do."  And then I turned once again and proceeded to conduct the ceremony.  Heh, heh...

But back to the severe gash that daughters can put in your net worth.  There's apartments and cars and first houses and so, so much more stuff that I can't even remember.  All I can remember is that the harder and longer I worked, the poorer I became.  In money.  But in daughters?  I was a very rich man.

That's what Elaine kept telling.  "You're car poor and daughter rich," she would say.  And then she would laugh.  Out loud.  Yeah, I felt a lot better after that...

I'm told by dads of sons that they are cheaper.  But how would they know?  I'm guessing guys are pretty expensive too, what with broken bones and speeding tickets and bailing them out of the local hoosegow.  I know that I would rather have had twelve daughters than one son like me.  I mean, I was hustling pool on the road at the ripe old age of 16.  How'd you like to try and parent that?  But hey, I keep telling myself that there was no real difference in the cost of raising boys and girls.  But you know that I know, that you know that I know, that that's just so much crap... 

Anyway, after the raising is done, and the last daughter has flown the coop, and the job is supposedly finished, it isn't.  Daughters need their moms --- forever.  I don't know if sons do, but daughters definitely do.  They need info from mom, sometimes daily, about all the important things in their lives, and how to cope with them.  Love, sex, marriage, kids, birth, finance, and finally, death. 

I've learned that guys and gals get together to do a lot of stuff, but mostly they grow their own friends.  They start having kids, because, I don't know, because they just need to.  The wives honor their womb "clock" that's ticking and the only scratch for that itch is to give birth.  To raise them into their friends, and usually, as in my case, into a brood.  A tribe.  An entire team.  And the guys?  They just pretty much go along with whatever their wives want so long as they are left alone and keep getting laid. 

And I've learned one more thing:  I used to think I'd do something really big in my life.  Something important.  Something Earth-shaking.  And then one day I had an epiphany.  I finally came to realize I already had.  I raised four daughters.  And all of them are, and will continue to do something Earth-shaking in my stead.  

So, after the sweat from work has cooled on the brow, and there's nothing left in a life well lived but memories, I'll have mine.  And I wouldn't sell them for anything...

Including a dozen cars...

Monday, July 30, 2018

The Electoral College

I bumped into an old friend the other day.  His politics are decidedly to the left of mine, so I was not surprised to hear him advocate for the dissolution of the Electoral College during our protracted discussion.  Funny how a few cocktails can engender such wet dreams.  

He said it was an old, outmoded and unnecessary body.  He said its role in tipping the Election toward Trump proved that it could no longer be trusted to carry out the wishes of the American Electorate.  He said just the NY vote alone proved how much more popular Clinton was than Trump.  He said, in summation, we should simply bow to the wishes of the 3+ Million more voters Clinton received than did The Donald, overturn the Election and seat Hillary.  

Oh yeah, he also thought that ICE should be shut down.  Sad case, this one.

I spent the next few minutes explaining to my friend why he should perhaps reorder this thinking on this matter (actually, why he was dead wrong).  First, I explained, there are 3,141counties in the United States.  Trump won 3,084 of them.  Clinton won 57.

I went on the tell him there are 62 counties in New York State.  Trump won 46 of them.  Clinton won 16.

Clinton won the popular vote by approximately 1.5 million votes in the 5 counties that encompass NYC (Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Richmond and Queens).  Clinton received well over 2 Million more votes in NY than did Trump (Clinton only won 4 of these counties, Trump won Richmond).  Therefore, these 5 counties alone more than accounted for Clinton winning the popular vote of the entire Country.  

These 5 counties comprise 319 square miles.  The United States is comprised of 3,797,000 square miles.  

When you have a Country that encompasses almost 4 million square miles of territory, it would be ludicrous to even suggest that the vote of those that encompass a mere 319 square miles should dictate the outcome of a National Election.  

I told him that I wouldn't even bother to dissect the California vote, as the New York example more than made my case.  But, for the record, Clinton received roughly 2 out of every 3 votes in CA, accounting for about a 2+ Million vote advantage.  Thus, Clinton received about 3 and 1/2 million more votes in total, but received them from only a tiny fraction of the Country.  But that "tiny fraction" contains the majority of our population.

The Bottom Line, I told him, was that America is not, was not, and shall not ever be a "democracy."  It is rather a "representative republic," whereby we elect those who represent and vote our interests in that "Federal City" called Washington, D.C.  

Then I added that just a cursory look at the mess called California can tell you what happens when the inmates take charge of the asylum, and that our current system sands the rough edges off of that potential train wreck if overlaid on the entire Country.  

As the woman asked Benjamin Franklin when he left Independence Hall that fateful day in July, 1776, "What have you given us, sir?"  "A republic...," he answered, "if you can keep it."

So, I summed up with this:  "Would you like a situation where candidates for national office would only have to visit, spend, campaign, run ads and shake hands in CA, TX, NY, IL and FL in order to control a majority of the Electoral College votes?  Which of course would leave the smaller states with no representation and no voice in national matters at all?"

He answered, "No."  How would you answer? 

Friday, July 27, 2018

Identity Politics...

Now, we all know by now that the Democrat Party began implementing what they euphemistically call "Identity Politics" a decade or so ago to try and divide and conquer; pit race against race, class against class, religion against religion and city dwellers against those in "flyover country."  Apparently, the idea was they could seize, and then hold onto power.  Forever.  And ever...

Fat chance.

Seems like the Democrats ran into a Blusterous, Bilious Blowhard Billionaire on the way to the Political Promised Place.  And he's tied them in knots ever since...

So they've whipped up the troops to "resist."  Resist everything.  Every idea, every suggestion, every vote.  Resist everything!  And they've been doing a pretty good job, for the most part. But there's this one guy in Lost Angeles that caught my eye.  Now THIS guy deserves the "Saul Alinsky Award for Overreach."  Ready?

Yesterday the L. A. Police arrested a guy named Barraco Clintez for taking a pick axe to President Donald J. Trump's  "Star on the Walk of Fame."  Those little jewels are located all over the sidewalks of the (once) beautiful, but now homeless-plagued downtown Hollywood, California.  The Donald's Star has been disfigured before, but this time takes the Little Debbie.  

It seems that Senor Clintez ticks nearly all the boxes; he's an illegal immigrant, half-Mexican, half-Black, hard-core socialist, with ties to "Antifa," who was paid by one of Leftist puppet master George Soros' companies to cast illegal votes while starting up Black Lives Matter.  

Now, I gotta' tell you, this guy leaves very little to the imagination in terms of "identity."  And you can tell by his resume that he takes his lot in life very seriously.  But it struck me that he is missing some stuff that might attract votes like a Hoover vacuum cleaner.  First, he should be gay, or at least a transgender.  Yeah, that would help.  And he should be a dwarf.  And perhaps an albino.  And maybe a recovering drug, alcohol and sex addict.  Who is lactose intolerant.  And suffering from the Heartbreak of Psoriasis.  And he could maybe stretch the definitions a bit and magically become a Gypsy.  Oh yeah, and he should become one of those Native American Indigenous Peoples (if it can work for Elizabeth Warren, it could surely work for Barraco).  Then, our Mr. Clintez could be prepped for his run for office, once all illegals are granted citizenship, as a... 

..."Half-Latino, Half-Black, Socialist, Albino, Gypsy, Native American, Terminally-Ill, Transgender, Dwarf, ex-Addict and Uninvited, but oh-so-welcome ex-Undocumented, but now Proud Future Voter." 

Now, see what happens when you take something to its logical extension?  Knew that you would...