Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Okay, I'm a racist. So there!

It seems if you disagree with any aspect of B. Hussein Obama's domestic and/or international agenda, you're a racist.

No "if's," "and's" or "but's" about it.  Disagree with Mr. Golfer-in-Chief, and you're a straight-up, no-bones-about-it, plain-as-day, minority-hating racist.  Almost to (and probably quite a bit past) the point of being a Nazi, redneck, Southern, knuckle-dragging, beer-swilling, fatback-eating, pickup truck-driving, KKK-loving racist.  

No matter that Mr. Vacationer-in-Chief's policies have gone a long, long, long way toward destroying the very fabric of our existence (one could argue that was his intent...remember when he announced five days before his immaculation that he intended to "fundamentally transform" America?).  

No matter that the TelePrompTer-in-Chief's economic, political and diplomatic activities have made our enemies ecstatic and turned our friends against us.  No matter that the Community Organizer-in-Chief's decisions have defunded and gutted our military, doubled the number on food stamps and disability, increased the price of our food, energy and healthcare by double-digits, reduced our Workforce Participation Rate to the lowest it's been in more than 35 years, doubled the price of gasoline, closed down almost all the coal mines (and soon quite possibly the remainder!), unilaterally and unconstitutionally gutted laws written by Congress and signed into effect by previous presidents, trashed the 2nd Amendment and all of us who believe in it, put 12,000,000 permanently out of the work force, managed to turn our victory in Iraq, with the loss of 4,300 of our heroes, into a loss, turned America into a part-time, "would you like fries with that?" nation, ran guns to Mexican cartels via "Fast and Furious," while doing his level best to disarm law-abiding Americans, used the IRS as a weapon against those who don't care for his politics but have the right to free speech nonetheless, given our good friend Israel the finger, ran up our Federal Debt from $9.6 Trillion to $17.4 Trillion, destroyed one-third of our citizens' wealth, rendered via executive actions the Congress completely unnecessary, and taken us a whole lot closer to the next World War. 

None of that matters.  If you manage to bring any of this up in polite conversation you are immediately labeled a racist.  And that's where the conversation - and the debate - stops.  The very worst thing you can accuse someone of being in our society is a racist, right?  Whether you are, or not, you are. That's because the lefty weenies among us resort to playing that infamous "race card" whenever they're losing an argument.  And they do it proudly!  That Obama fellow sure has done a lot to improve the relationship between the races, right?  

So, kiddies, I'm offering up a new, and potentially quite helpful plan:  When confronted with the need to debate a hard-core Lefty, if you absolutely must, simply start with the statement that,

"Yes, I am a racist.  So there!"  

Having thus disarmed the brain-dead, so-called low- information drone voter, who will then have nowhere to go in the debate, you can begin to educate the poor dweeb, who holds dear those views which are helping to destroy America. Plus, you will leave them gasping for air, arms flailing about, pupils fixed and dilated, and unable to come up with any comment except..."but!, but!" 

And all this despite the fact that you aren't racist, never was and will never be.

It will likely take them several hours to regain their liberal commie dumbass socialist views.  And they will then no doubt comment to their room-temperature-I.Q. friends that they actually managed to get a racist to admit to being...a racist.  Applause and laughter will then ensue, whilst carafes of Sauvignon Blanc are coiffed, fake cigarettes are vaped and organically-grown kale and barley salads - with a nice vinaigrette dressing - are ingested with aplomb.

But in the interim, you will have taken a small step toward resurrecting our once-great Country.  Go ahead, my right-thinking, law-abiding, fur-wearing, meat-eating, gun-owning, critter-hunting, God-fearing, hard-working, red-blooded American patriots, agree with them.  You're a racist.  And then begin taking them to school.  You will earn the thanks of a grateful nation...

Back to that Obama fellow.  Didn't we hire him a few years back to make sure none of that racism stuff would ever happen again?