The San Fran Nanniest of Nanny States!

                      Stop The Presses!

For those lucky enough to live somewhere else besides this failed experiment of a State, our Boy Guv, San Fran Nan Pelosi's nephew, J. Paul Getty's Godchild, just coughed up another hairball.  

He's now issued another of his finger-wagging little pronunciamentos upon us, the miserable plebes. The proletariat.  The "Sheeple."  The "little people."  He's decided that to further tamp down this nagging little virus the Chinese have visited upon us, he has to control the movement of his citizens.  To an unprecedented degree, I'd say.  Let's see if you agree...

Guv Gavin Newsom just let loose another list of demands concerning when to have little house parties, and with whom, and how many, and under what circumstances.  Parties.  House parties.  And when to have them.  Are all the other problems solved, or what?  

He has not yet attempted to tell us what to wear, however.

Anyway, should you wish to have a little house party and invite over some friends, here are some of your marching orders, effective immediately:

     -  First, Newsom tells us that gatherings outdoors are significantly safer than indoor gatherings.  Well,, duh!  In fact, he orders us to have ONLY outdoor gatherings.  Annnnd, attendees may go inside ONLY to use the bathrooms.  And those bathrooms MUST be sanitized frequently.  

        ("Oh, excuse me Mildred.  I must go and sanitize my bathroom again!")

     -  Now, you may have awnings or umbrellas or canopies or other shade structures at your gathering, Boy Guv demands, so long as three sides of the space (or 75%) or of the total surface area is open to the outdoors.  

        ("Ralph, measure those umbrellas again.  I don't want the Gathering Police to issue us a summons!")

     -  It gets better, and I quote:  "A gathering of no more than three households is permitted in a public park or other outdoor space, even if unrelated gatherings of other groups up to three households are occurring, mixing between group gatherings is not allowed.  Additionally, multiple gatherings of three households cannot be jointly organized or coordinated to occur in the same public park or other outdoor space at the same time - this would constitute a gathering exceeding the permitted size."

        (Wha...?  Who wrote this bulls*it?  And how many times would you have to read it in order to understand what it demands?  And was the author smoking an indica clone at the time, or perhaps it was a nice sativa?)

     -  This little edict goes further to tell us that if any prospective party attendee exhibits any symptoms of the Chinese Killer Coronavirus, such as fever, chills, shortness of breath, body aches, night sweats, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, confusion, cough or loss of taste or smell, they must stay at home and forego the pleasantries.  

        (Yes, and don't run with scissors, or eat yellow snow, or sleep with your boss's wife, or play in traffic.)

     -  After all of this, if you STILL desire to throw a party (what the Hell is wrong with you?) be advised that California demands that if anyone comes down with the Chinese Virus within 48 hours post-soiree, then they simply MUST seek to advise ALL the other attendees as soon as possible following the gathering.  

        ("Helen, got some bad news.  A fellow you don't know and never met from another party across the park just came down with the Chinese virus.  Just a heads up.  Have a nice day...")

     -  And be sure to pay attention to this one.  All attendees at your little Party With Rules MUST wear facial coverings in accordance with the CA CDPH "Guidance on the Use of Face Coverings."  

        ("Who are you again?  Are we friends?  Have we met?")  

Oh yeah, and on the way out the Digital Door, I have to report that CA ended this unfathomable exercise in unconstitutional overreach by adding, "And be sure to wash your hands."  

From a guy who's thrown more parties than perhaps anyone else on Earth, I just have to add, this whole party-throwing thing has gotten waaaaay harder than it used to be...