"When You Ain't Got Nuthin...,"

NY Yankees Hall-of-Fame catcher and syntax butcherer Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to the fork in the road, take it."

As I look back, there was a time when I was facing the single most serious and important and gut-wrenching decision of my entire young life.  A time worth the retelling...  

I was in my young thirties, full of piss and vinegar, all anxious to play "catch up" for having so joyously wasted the first quarter of my life.  Playing pool for money.  And drag racing cars.  And playing poker.  And drinking all the beer I could find.  And chasing only girls of breeding.  And catching a lot of them.  

Like I said, joyously...

But then I got drafted.  And four years later, after almost single-handedly saving the world from communism, I was finally ready to make my mark.   And by the age of 32, I was making it.  I was the National Sales Manager of a fairly large medical equipment manufacturing company.  A company owned by Crane Carrier Corporation, a company that made...crane carriers!  You know those reeeely big cranes you see on the sides of buildings under construction?  They need crane carriers to carry them from place to place.  By highway, by rail, and by ship.  And CCC made them.  And they had a big footprint in the Gubmint.  And lots to lose if legislation concerning their sandbox ever went sour.

So I decided to quit my firm and join another which offered a faster path to promotion.  Fast track, remember?  So when the Chairman of CCC found out the star salesman from one of his companies had up and quit, someone he knew and admired, he had to strike; now was the time to form a lobbying effort in the District of Columbia.  In Congress.  In "The Swamp."  And he had just the guy in mind to make it happen.  Moi.  Who was now available without him having to raid a subordinate company and cause a big stink.  He thought gold had dropped in his lap.  

But wait, there's more!!!

I had just fallen in love.  With a gorgeous babe who had lonnng legs and interests that coincided with my own.  For a change (this was Wife No. 2).  She liked cars.  She liked guns.  She suffered through my madcap schemes.  And she was an R. N., and we'd had long talks about starting a medical services company using my sales and bizz talent and her medical license and early hemodialysis experience (rare back then).  And me heading off to "The Swamp" from Orange County, Taxifornia, would have ended those plans.  And likely our relationship. 

The Chairman of CCC was persuasive.  He really didn't want this star to escape his corp's orbit.  And so he made me what's called in the vernacular, a "handsome offer."  He offered me double what I had been earning, which was substantial.  And an office.  And a secretary.  And a staff.  And a car.  And all travel, lodging and entertainment expenses.  And bonuses and other stuff that made we wonder why I had to quit in order to get some damn attention!  

Incidentally, I learned that the average D.C. lobbyist's monthly expenses were running on average about $5,000 a month for a lobbyist.  Or about a year's salary for a postal worker at the time.  I was told a Representatives had to raise $10,000 a week to pay for their reelection expenses back then, from people just the CEO wanted me to be.  And that was nearly 50 years ago.  Just imagine what it must be today... 

I have never stewed over a decision so hard in my entire life.  I wanted to go, and spread my wings, and prove my mettel, and see my name up there in lights.  To prove that hustling pool for ten years taught me a lot about human nature.  And how to land on my feet.  But, as I said, I was in love.  And love is a mighty powerful motivator.   

The beads of sweat were forming and the day of the ultimatum was nearing.  I "rolled the bones" mentally and made my choice.  I turned down the Job of a Lifetime...

Elaine Fabiszewski, R.N., and I formed our own company instead.  And our own life together.  We wound up creating a brand new specialty called Mobile Acute Hemodialysis, Hemoperfusion and Therapeutic Aphresis.  We provided these treatments to hospitalized patients throughout Orange and Los Angeles Counties for more than 38 years.  We had more than 50 nurses working with us to keep really sick patients in hospitals near where they lived.  For the very first time ever.  And it mattered.  Our records indicated we had treated, and in many cases saved, more than 10,000 patients during our company's history.

We also produced four gorgeous, successful and patriotic daughters.  And they've brought in four handsome, intelligent and successful husbands to the party.  And together they gifted me with 7 fantastic grandchildren.  Who likely would not be here had I gone off to D. C.   Nor would Elaine, most likely.

Who knows?  Maybe one of those grand, grandkids will become President.  Or the Big Boss of some yuuuuge corp that endeavors to save the world.  Because God knows, it sure needs saving.

Oh yeah, when I anguished with Elaine over my decision during those fateful days, she reminded me that I'd been picked clean in the divorce from my "starter" wife.  So, she said to me back then, with a clear and even voice, 

"When you ain't got nuthin,' you ain't got nuthin' to lose."  

She was right.  I didn't.  And it spawned a mini-dynasty...