So the world's coming to an end and you've been ordered to stay at home and hunker down and pull the blanket over your head and hope no Bad Guys try and break in and steal all your toilet paper.
And your kids, who until recently had been warehoused during daylight hours by our very expensive educational system while you go off to work to pay for it all, are now at home.
Unfortunately.
And they're making you wonder...out loud...to anyone who might listen...why you ever chose to have children. I understand. Life's a bitch. Especially now. Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll fix this whole virus deal and your life can go back to a more normal level of abject, dismal mediocrity very soon.
But until then, you'll likely be spending an inordinate amount of time at home. Against your will, I know. And it might be nice to try and figure out how you can pass your time until the world returns to normalcy. And pass it all while avoiding bloodshed. So I, The Chuckmeister, your old pal, your Scribe Without Portfolio, your Reporter Par Excellance, have decided to share with you a few of my stellar ideas. Ready? Here we go...
- Play a game of Monopoly: Likely as not you've never played a game of Monopoly with your kids. If not, today's a really good day to start. You can sit them all down around the kitchen table and explain the rules. Which, by so doing, you'll also be giving them probably their very first bit of tutelage on the subject of Capitalism. Since they've all been hearing Bernie and his ilk spewing "Progressive" platitudes for their entire lives, delivered to them on a platter by more than a few teachers who've been brainwashed into believing that all profit is bad and socialism is the preferred method, it will do them good to learn a little bit about reality for a change. Just watch their faces when they're forced to pay "rent" for the first time in their lives. Especially on Boardwalk and Park Place...
- Itemize an invoice for your kids: And while your kids are sitting around the kitchen table, use that occasion to itemize for them exactly how much they owe you and your spouse. You can total up all the Pampers and the swimming lessons and the tennis rackets and the Boy Scout uniforms and the prom dresses and the college tuition and the cars you bought them. You can put a nice dollar figure on each of the items, grossed up to today's dollars, of course. Why? Because, if you still had them, they'd be today's dollars! Right? Hello! Be sure to ask if you've forgotten anything. I'm sure they'll be happy to assist. And when you're finished, issue each of them a nice, neat itemized invoice.
Oh, I know you'll never collect it (the expressions on their faces will assure you of that!), especially because they may still be saddled with an insurmountable gob of student loans they shouldn't have taken out to pay for that degree in Medieval Lesbian Poetry they so coveted. The same one that qualifies them to ask, "Would you like fries with that?" But it will sure make you feel good to let them know, right?
Oh yeah, and if any of your kids turns out to be complete bums and losers, just include that invoice on your will as their chunk of your now seriously depleted fortune.
- Learn to code: I keep hearing from guys like Joe Biden that if I ever lost my job I could just "learn to code." Of course, he was talking at the time to a bunch of Pennsylvania's oil field workers about his promise to kill all their jobs and leave them broke and destitute and with no other choice. Starvation is a serious form of motivation, to be sure.
But I'm thinking since we live in a computer-driven world, against our wishes in most cases, we might as well learn how to earn some extra money from home. Since we'll be there for the next few months. Or years? Until this plague goes away, that is. And Good Ol' Uncle Joe makes it all seem so simple, doesn't he? And I'm sure our friends at Facebook and Twitter will be happy as a clam to hire them once they've completed their studies.
So, with the assistance of Google, I'm adding "learning to code," whatever that means, as one of my things-to-do while the world is ending.
_ Make up new names for the Wuhan Coronavirus: When you're faced with a pandemic, it's nice to be able to share some laughter. Especially since there's so little to laugh about these days. So, I thought maybe making up some new names for the Asian Wuhan Far Eastern Not-From-Here Chinese Coronavirus would add a few laughs to the family get-together. Go around the table. I'll start with a couple I've thought up, okay? How about the "Wu Nu Flu?" Or, the "Bu Hu Wahu Achoo?" It's up to you now. Your turn...
- Inventory all your toilet paper: Once you've done so, then "sequester" it in a place with a lock on it. Then distribute it, one roll at a time, to each bathroom. Thereafter, require each of your family members to check out any further rolls from Central Supply (the trunk of your locked car), one roll at a time thereafter, as needed. Ask for written "Requests for Paper Products" prior to issuance. But only as a reward for good behavior during this time of Total Sequestration.
There's more than one way to achieve good behavior, doncha' know...
- Clean all your weapons: This might also be a good time to bring out all your firearms and give them a good Spring cleaning. Be sure to have all your kids and your wife bring theirs as well. It's a great opportunity for some of that "family time" we're all seeking. Give your firearms the loving care they truly deserve. After all, you cannot expect them to work properly in times of need unless you've given them proper care. Oh yeah, and inventory all your ammunition as well, as you surely do not want to run out during our National Crisis. Especially since no-nothing bozos who run our "blue" states, like our brain dead Boy Guv Gavin Newsom, and his counterparts in NJ, and NY, and CO, and RI, and WA, and OR, and IL, and MD, and, and, and, are perennially attempting to prevent you from buying more. Who knows? Some perpetrator might try and separate you from your toilet paper. And we couldn't have that...
What, you don't have firearms? You're the one!
- Learn to play the guitar and sing: This is a valuable skill you now have time to master. And don't try and tell me you never hankered to learn to play the guitar so you could get more girls. After all, that's really the only reason young lads ever take up the instrument. Getting girls, after all, is the singular focus of those bearing loads of testosterone looking for an outlet. Pluuuus, if you're successful, you can try and find an agent, on line, who'll get you a recording deal, on line. And then you can join the ranks of the suddenly unemployed "stars" who've now been relegated to just another bunch of stay-at-home parents, without sequins, putting on concerts in their basements, in their jammies. On line...
- Learn karate: I'm sure there's a whole bunch of "how to" videos on YouTube explaining in great detail how to be a modern-day Bruce Lee. And since you're at home all day, you can set up a few 2 x 4's in your garage and start learning how the 5th degree black belts do it. Or even the 4th or 3rd degrees. Just keep on hacking away until you break the board. Or your hand. But try not to do that; the hospitals are full. You may have to set it yourself and mold your own cast. And I'm sure there are YouTube videos telling you exactly how to do that as well...
- Clean out your garage: You know you've been planning to clean out and straighten and arrange your garage for the longest time. Don't try and get out of it. I know you've been doing so. And now's the exact time to do it. Just take a deep breath - through your mask - and go out there and clean it up. It will give you some fresh air, which you need, and some exercise, which you need. And you might, just might come up with a stack of crap you don't need and somebody else might like. So, then put together an outdoor garage sale. Be sure to put up signs reflecting that "social distancing" norms will be observed. In fact, put your kids in charge of setting up and running the whole thing, and then let them keep the money as their reward for actually starting...and completing a task. What a concept!
And finally...
- Learn to tend bar: No doubt you have an entire collection of miscellaneous mixers for which to make all sorts of exotic cocktails in your bar. Except you know nothing about how to use them to make delicious cocktails. You just bought them at Total Wine because you thought you might sometime need them.
So I'd suggest you go on line and collect a bunch of recipes for nifty libations like Classic Margaritas, Whisky Sours, Sidecars, Grasshoppers, Pink Ladies and so many other high-class cocktails designed to make fine approachable babes shed their unmentionables. And since we're now in the unfortunate situation where no quality babes are wandering by your home, and you'd like to change all that, now is the exact time for you to prepare for that testosterone dump which is surely to follow your preparing for your future as Bartender to the Stars.
So until this little "speedbump" on the freeway of life passes us by and we get back to a more "normal" way of life, I'd like to suggest you find positive and creative ways to pass your sequestration. It's your job to keep your family together and safe and this unfortunate time of national crisis. How well you and others like you do, may well define what we look like as a society when we finally emerge from the other end of this collective nightmare.
Sort of like Moses emerging from the Ark, I would guess...
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Saturday, March 28, 2020
And While We're on the Subject of Guns...
...I have a question:
If gun control works,
It's almost impossible to buy a firearm in Chicago, for example, or any of the 32 cities that surround it. It's been almost impossible to buy a firearm there since the 1960's. Chicago is the poster city for gun control and is proud of it. A retired Black janitor, after having had his apartment ransacked six times in six months, had to sue all the way to the Supreme Court just to buy a shotgun for personal protection (SCOTUS, "McDonald v. City of Chicago," 2010). There's only one gun store in the entire City, and it's located inside the Main Police Station, and only open for business on one morning, every other week (anti-2nd Amendment much?).
And yet, there's an average of 50 shootings in Chicago every single weekend, and at least 7 or 8 or 10 homicides.
Why is that?
Wouldn't you think that after 60 years of their all-out effort, and more than 30,000 anti-gun laws on the books, gun control would have worked...if it worked?
Want more? Okay...
It's almost impossible to buy a firearm in Baltimore. Guns have been effectively outlawed there for more than a generation. Yet, Baltimore leads the nation in gun homicides. At one-fourth the size of Chicago (619,000 vs. 2,700,000), it shockingly outpaces the Windy City's gun murder rate. Why?
Yes, why?
Let's go even further. It's been damn difficult to buy and own and use firearms in CA, and WA, and OR, and IL, and NY, and CT, and NJ, and CO, and so many other Democrat owned and controlled, "blue" cities and states for decades. In fact, CA passes an average of 8 new gun control laws a year, every year, and has for the past 20 years. Yet, it seems CA, and those other "Gun Control" cities and states are the places most likely to have out-of-control gun crimes. Why is that?
Maybe it's because they've worked overtime for a generation to disarm their citizens?
And here's another question for you to ponder. If "Gun Free Zone" signs worked...
We know that 19 out of the past 20 mass shootings, as defined as 4 or more deaths resulting therefrom, have occurred in "Gun Free Zones." Yet, some 500 cities have at least some "Gun Free Zones." Why is that?
If insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, expecting a different result, wouldn't this whole exercise be considered...
Yet, by contrast, one in 18 residents of the state of Florida owns a concealed pistol carry permit. That's almost 7% of their entire population. Yet, one does not hear of wild, out-of-control shootouts in Florida like is an every-day occurrence in Chicago. Why is that? Even the mass shooting at the Marjorie Stoneman-Douglas High School in Parkland a couple of years back occurred in a "Gun Free Zone."
Not so "gun free," was it?
A yuuuuge percentage of the populations of AZ, and NV, and UT, and MT, and WY, and ID, and KS, and TX, and OK, and TN, and SC, and GA, and ND, and MO, and so many other "red" states, carry permitted concealed weapons on a daily basis. In fact, there were 1.4 Million more concealed carry permit holders in the U.S. in 2019 than in the year before. In short, there are 18.66 Million concealed carry permit holders in the U.S.* Texas even has an open carry law, and has for the past four years. We were all told that their passage of that law would lead to mass murders! Blood running in the streets! Thousands murdered in cold blood! Has it? No siree, Bob! Just imagine: cowboys walking around with six guns strapped to their hips. Yet, no bloodbaths to report. No shootouts on Main Street. Nothing. Nada. Zip...
Why not?
Maybe, just maybe, it's not the number of guns in circulation, or the availability of guns, or the types of guns people own that dictates where and when we'll see the next mass murder. Or a shooting of any kind, for that matter. Rather, maybe, just maybe, it's who is doing the possessing.
I'd like throw in an old adage right about here:
If gun control works,
why hasn't it?
Good question, huh?
It's almost impossible to buy a firearm in Chicago, for example, or any of the 32 cities that surround it. It's been almost impossible to buy a firearm there since the 1960's. Chicago is the poster city for gun control and is proud of it. A retired Black janitor, after having had his apartment ransacked six times in six months, had to sue all the way to the Supreme Court just to buy a shotgun for personal protection (SCOTUS, "McDonald v. City of Chicago," 2010). There's only one gun store in the entire City, and it's located inside the Main Police Station, and only open for business on one morning, every other week (anti-2nd Amendment much?).
And yet, there's an average of 50 shootings in Chicago every single weekend, and at least 7 or 8 or 10 homicides.
Why is that?
Wouldn't you think that after 60 years of their all-out effort, and more than 30,000 anti-gun laws on the books, gun control would have worked...if it worked?
Want more? Okay...
It's almost impossible to buy a firearm in Baltimore. Guns have been effectively outlawed there for more than a generation. Yet, Baltimore leads the nation in gun homicides. At one-fourth the size of Chicago (619,000 vs. 2,700,000), it shockingly outpaces the Windy City's gun murder rate. Why?
Yes, why?
Let's go even further. It's been damn difficult to buy and own and use firearms in CA, and WA, and OR, and IL, and NY, and CT, and NJ, and CO, and so many other Democrat owned and controlled, "blue" cities and states for decades. In fact, CA passes an average of 8 new gun control laws a year, every year, and has for the past 20 years. Yet, it seems CA, and those other "Gun Control" cities and states are the places most likely to have out-of-control gun crimes. Why is that?
Maybe it's because they've worked overtime for a generation to disarm their citizens?
And here's another question for you to ponder. If "Gun Free Zone" signs worked...
...why don't they?
If insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, expecting a different result, wouldn't this whole exercise be considered...
...insane?
Not so "gun free," was it?
A yuuuuge percentage of the populations of AZ, and NV, and UT, and MT, and WY, and ID, and KS, and TX, and OK, and TN, and SC, and GA, and ND, and MO, and so many other "red" states, carry permitted concealed weapons on a daily basis. In fact, there were 1.4 Million more concealed carry permit holders in the U.S. in 2019 than in the year before. In short, there are 18.66 Million concealed carry permit holders in the U.S.* Texas even has an open carry law, and has for the past four years. We were all told that their passage of that law would lead to mass murders! Blood running in the streets! Thousands murdered in cold blood! Has it? No siree, Bob! Just imagine: cowboys walking around with six guns strapped to their hips. Yet, no bloodbaths to report. No shootouts on Main Street. Nothing. Nada. Zip...
Why not?
Maybe, just maybe, it's not the number of guns in circulation, or the availability of guns, or the types of guns people own that dictates where and when we'll see the next mass murder. Or a shooting of any kind, for that matter. Rather, maybe, just maybe, it's who is doing the possessing.
I'd like throw in an old adage right about here:
If even 5% of the ducks were armed,
would anyone go duck hunting?
* (Statistics courtesy FBI, 2019)
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
"Outbreak"
While we're in the depths of this current Chinese Far Eastern Asian Wuhan Not-From-Here Coronavirus pandemic, I dredged up an old memory you might enjoy reliving with me. And if not, you certainly can't beat the price of participation (no refunds offered).
I happened to answer the phone personally that day way back in early 1995.
Normally one of our office staff would have done so, but they were busy. So I answered. And to my surprise, a gentleman on the other end of the phone was calling me from Warner Bros. It seems his Special Effects Office had heard that my company, Nephronics, might own a certain type of medical equipment he was seeking. A Cobe plasmapheresis machine, to be more precise. In fact, I told the guy, I had several of them, as we used them often in our business. Confused yet?
Along with my Registered Nurse wife, Elaine, I started Nephronics back in 1977. And by '95 we'd grown remarkably. Nephronics, if you don't know, and many of you do, provided mobile acute hemodialysis and plasmapheresis treatments on-site at smaller, community-level hospitals in Orange and Los Angeles Counties. We offered such care so that patients needn't be transferred to other, often distant hospitals to achieve treatment. Rather than boring you with the gory details, in short, we "peed" for other people...
We'd bring a portable machine, necessary supplies and a damn-fine R.N. to perform specialized, often life saving treatments at bedside. We invented the specialty, and were very good at it. And we became rather well known by so doing.
So back to the phone call. This guy said that WB was shooting a film called "Outbreak," and a scene in it required a Cobe Model 3 machine such as mine. He said the script had been written that way and that my machine was absolutely necessary. He then went on to say he really wanted to rent it from me. While I was still processing what this guy was saying, he went on to offer me what he said was WB's standard rental fee of $1,500 a week.
Gulp!
Now, lemme' tell you that $1,500 back in '95 was a whole lotta' money. It still is, as a matter of fact, but 25 years ago it was a small fortune. So, after considering this guy's offer for, oh, like a nanosecond, I gave him an emphatic affirmative!
The next morning bright and early a yuuuuuuge black, 18-wheeler showed up at the back of my business. Painted on each side were 6 foot-tall, full color versions of Sylvester and Tweetie-Bird. Surreal. We loaded up the machine and I signed the agreement. Off he and his cartoon characters went, my machine in tow.
I heard nothing for about three weeks. Then, the phone rang once again. It was my contact at WB. He said they were about to shoot the scene and, guess what, nobody knew how to operate my machine! (Duh!) So, he offered to hire one of my technical guys to drive to Hollywood "stat" and show them how to use it. I tapped Jim D., one of my longest and most faithful teammates, for that task. For $50 an hour Jim would likely have been willing to stomp warm puppies to death. But mingling with film stars like Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman and Renee Russo, and getting paid bigly for it, was for sure much better duty...
Jim wound up spending three or four days in La La Land, and racked up a cool payday to boot. BTW, I just thought about it: I was paying him for those days...and he wasn't working. Maybe I shoulda' got a cut. Anyway, he and my machine came back home and went back to work. And none of us thought a thing more until the movie came out, later that same year.
Elaine and I were visiting relatives in New York City around Christmas-time when the premiere hit. We were first in line at the nearest bijou. We got some popcorn and found our seats. We watched with anticipation until, there it was; the last scene in the movie. They've found the cure to "Ebola" by this time and are performing plasmapheresis blood cleansing treatments on a little Capuchin monkey. Think back. You'll recall the scene. And they're using my machine to do it. Proud, we were (thanks, Yoda!). But what we didn't know at the time, was that Jim was kneeling, out of sight, behind the gurney holding the monkey, manually turning the various blood pump handles as furiously as he could so that the red, Kool-aid-like fluid would keep flowing through the bloodlines, looking for all the world like blood.
And well he did. I looked carefully but didn't find either Jim's name or my company's in the closing credits. Oh well, the little people always toil ceaselessly and without due credit while the swells swill Cristal, don't they?
I always thought I should get into the movies. I guess I did, in a small kind of way. Verrrrrrrry small...
I happened to answer the phone personally that day way back in early 1995.
Normally one of our office staff would have done so, but they were busy. So I answered. And to my surprise, a gentleman on the other end of the phone was calling me from Warner Bros. It seems his Special Effects Office had heard that my company, Nephronics, might own a certain type of medical equipment he was seeking. A Cobe plasmapheresis machine, to be more precise. In fact, I told the guy, I had several of them, as we used them often in our business. Confused yet?
Along with my Registered Nurse wife, Elaine, I started Nephronics back in 1977. And by '95 we'd grown remarkably. Nephronics, if you don't know, and many of you do, provided mobile acute hemodialysis and plasmapheresis treatments on-site at smaller, community-level hospitals in Orange and Los Angeles Counties. We offered such care so that patients needn't be transferred to other, often distant hospitals to achieve treatment. Rather than boring you with the gory details, in short, we "peed" for other people...
We'd bring a portable machine, necessary supplies and a damn-fine R.N. to perform specialized, often life saving treatments at bedside. We invented the specialty, and were very good at it. And we became rather well known by so doing.
So back to the phone call. This guy said that WB was shooting a film called "Outbreak," and a scene in it required a Cobe Model 3 machine such as mine. He said the script had been written that way and that my machine was absolutely necessary. He then went on to say he really wanted to rent it from me. While I was still processing what this guy was saying, he went on to offer me what he said was WB's standard rental fee of $1,500 a week.
Gulp!
Now, lemme' tell you that $1,500 back in '95 was a whole lotta' money. It still is, as a matter of fact, but 25 years ago it was a small fortune. So, after considering this guy's offer for, oh, like a nanosecond, I gave him an emphatic affirmative!
The next morning bright and early a yuuuuuuge black, 18-wheeler showed up at the back of my business. Painted on each side were 6 foot-tall, full color versions of Sylvester and Tweetie-Bird. Surreal. We loaded up the machine and I signed the agreement. Off he and his cartoon characters went, my machine in tow.
I heard nothing for about three weeks. Then, the phone rang once again. It was my contact at WB. He said they were about to shoot the scene and, guess what, nobody knew how to operate my machine! (Duh!) So, he offered to hire one of my technical guys to drive to Hollywood "stat" and show them how to use it. I tapped Jim D., one of my longest and most faithful teammates, for that task. For $50 an hour Jim would likely have been willing to stomp warm puppies to death. But mingling with film stars like Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman and Renee Russo, and getting paid bigly for it, was for sure much better duty...
Jim wound up spending three or four days in La La Land, and racked up a cool payday to boot. BTW, I just thought about it: I was paying him for those days...and he wasn't working. Maybe I shoulda' got a cut. Anyway, he and my machine came back home and went back to work. And none of us thought a thing more until the movie came out, later that same year.
Elaine and I were visiting relatives in New York City around Christmas-time when the premiere hit. We were first in line at the nearest bijou. We got some popcorn and found our seats. We watched with anticipation until, there it was; the last scene in the movie. They've found the cure to "Ebola" by this time and are performing plasmapheresis blood cleansing treatments on a little Capuchin monkey. Think back. You'll recall the scene. And they're using my machine to do it. Proud, we were (thanks, Yoda!). But what we didn't know at the time, was that Jim was kneeling, out of sight, behind the gurney holding the monkey, manually turning the various blood pump handles as furiously as he could so that the red, Kool-aid-like fluid would keep flowing through the bloodlines, looking for all the world like blood.
And well he did. I looked carefully but didn't find either Jim's name or my company's in the closing credits. Oh well, the little people always toil ceaselessly and without due credit while the swells swill Cristal, don't they?
I always thought I should get into the movies. I guess I did, in a small kind of way. Verrrrrrrry small...
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Martial Law...
So California's boy governor, the guy whose hair is nevah, evah mussed up, San Fran Nancy Pelosi's nephew, J. Paul Getty's Godson, a guy who was born on third base and thought he'd hit a triple, one Gavin Newsom, just stated that we all have to stay at home, right now, "until further notice." That's some 40 million of us.
Not counting, I assume, the estimated 60,000 on our cities' streets who have no homes.
Now, for those who've never heard of such a thing, "martial law" means that a state may simply decide to sidestep all normal, ordinary Constitutional protections to its citizens' life, liberty and property, and then replace them with whatever laws it finds desirable at the time. The State's National Guard would be called out and then assigned to go wherever and do whatever Boy Guv should ask. Assuming they actually decide to dance to the tune he fiddles. And that's a big assumption.
It means that the Boy Guv can erase our Rights and insert his own preferences and predilections in their place. As in, no more Right to free speech, or the Right to peacefully assemble, or the Right to buy, own and use a firearm!
Think Venezuela, if you need a better picture.
For some time I, and folks just like me, have been doing our best to sound the alarm. To warn our fellow Californians, and by extension, our fellow Americans wherever they may be, that the true goal of nascent socialist governments - like California's - is to more fully control each and every aspect of their "subjects"' lives. And we, fellow Patriots, are the "subjects."
They just want to be left alone to live our lives...
And, as ex-Obama Chief of Staff and Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel has oft warned, "We must never let a crisis go to waste." And this, my friends, is a crisis. So beyond shutting down all the restaurants, and the bars, and the nightclubs, and the sporting events, and the 7 counties surrounding San Franpoopco, what the Boy Guv reeeely wants is to tighten his control over your life, and mine. And this crisis is his passport to doing just that...
However, those of us who believe in "being prepared" (you're now socializing at an acceptable digital distance with an Eagle Scout here, Pilgrim) have already acquired firearms and ammunition, and know how to use them, and are ready to protect their families and their property.
I trust that includes you...
But some are not. Many just flatly refuse. They don't like guns. They think those who own guns are country bumpkins. Toothless, pickup-driving, flag-waving, beer-swilling, anti-social rubes. They believe that our police will protect them and their families. I hope they're right. But I must add, "When seconds count, the police are only minutes away."
And many of them are now standing in line outside their local gun stores for hours lately, trying to acquire the firearms and ammunition they should have purchased long, long ago. And, despite a paucity of selection, they've been buying anything they can get their hands on, or so the gun dealers tell us. Any gun, any caliber, any price.
Better late than never, I'd say.
But be advised that your better-late-than-never decision to purchase a weapon, although your Right, may be taken from you at any minute. How, you might ask? Simple. By an edict.
The mayor of Champaign, IL issued an edict last week closing her city's gun stores to all traffic. She said that in an emergency, "...people shouldn't be able to buy guns." Wha...? Need I add that she's a Democrat?
The mayor of San Jose, CA just issued an edict today declaring that all its gun stores must close, immediately. Something about "...not wishing to "add" to the crisis by injecting firearms into the equation." Sort of like not "adding" a life preserver to a sinking ship, I'd say. Another pantywaist, pearl-clutching Liberal, superimposing her own values over that of her residents.
The mayor of New Orleans just declared by edict that all gun stores in her Parish must close immediately. She never liked them, she said, and now's the time to close them. Too bad if you wanted a gun and hadn't bought one yet. Remember, votes have consequences, as the citizens of New Orleans are now learning.
(Flashback: When Katrina hit, Henry Lee, then Sheriff of New Orleans Parish, put his deputies in rowboats and sent them out to the homes of citizens who owned guns. To confiscate them. Immediately. Because their laws permitted him to know who owned the guns. How conveeeenient. Now his successor seems prepared to do the same thing...)
The Sheriff of Alameda County, CA just sent his deputies to shut down a gun store that remained open during his "shelter in place" edict. So, using the force of law...to prevent citizens from exercising their Constitutional Rights...just when they need them the most.
And now Newsom has decided to get into the act. He's long believed that so-called "assault weapons" have no business in the hands of "ordinary people." That would include you and me, I guess. And now he can do something about it.
(BTW, we have no "assault weapons" in private, non-military hands. We haven't since they were outlawed in 1934. But of course, the MSMedia doesn't tell you that, do they?)
For the past five years CA has required that the ownership of firearms be known to the State. Heretofore that has never, ever happened. In fact, the Federal Government, which oversees our current NICS (National Instant Criminal Background Check System) (you didn't know we had one, did you?), never intended the States to know who has what gun. Why? So they couldn't declare martial law and come to your house and take them from you. As is currently about to happen in many places.
Including California, perhaps...
I find it troubling that just when we need the ability to protect our lives and our property the most, the purportedly "helpful" government steps on our toes. Why, after releasing from prison more than 60,000 hardened felons over the past two years, does California work overtime to keep its citizens disarmed? There can only be one reason:
Not counting, I assume, the estimated 60,000 on our cities' streets who have no homes.
He also intimated that he just might at some future time have to declare martial law.
Hmmmmm...
Hmmmmm...
Now, for those who've never heard of such a thing, "martial law" means that a state may simply decide to sidestep all normal, ordinary Constitutional protections to its citizens' life, liberty and property, and then replace them with whatever laws it finds desirable at the time. The State's National Guard would be called out and then assigned to go wherever and do whatever Boy Guv should ask. Assuming they actually decide to dance to the tune he fiddles. And that's a big assumption.
It means that the Boy Guv can erase our Rights and insert his own preferences and predilections in their place. As in, no more Right to free speech, or the Right to peacefully assemble, or the Right to buy, own and use a firearm!
Think Venezuela, if you need a better picture.
For some time I, and folks just like me, have been doing our best to sound the alarm. To warn our fellow Californians, and by extension, our fellow Americans wherever they may be, that the true goal of nascent socialist governments - like California's - is to more fully control each and every aspect of their "subjects"' lives. And we, fellow Patriots, are the "subjects."
They just want to be left alone to live our lives...
And, as ex-Obama Chief of Staff and Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel has oft warned, "We must never let a crisis go to waste." And this, my friends, is a crisis. So beyond shutting down all the restaurants, and the bars, and the nightclubs, and the sporting events, and the 7 counties surrounding San Franpoopco, what the Boy Guv reeeely wants is to tighten his control over your life, and mine. And this crisis is his passport to doing just that...
However, those of us who believe in "being prepared" (you're now socializing at an acceptable digital distance with an Eagle Scout here, Pilgrim) have already acquired firearms and ammunition, and know how to use them, and are ready to protect their families and their property.
I trust that includes you...
But some are not. Many just flatly refuse. They don't like guns. They think those who own guns are country bumpkins. Toothless, pickup-driving, flag-waving, beer-swilling, anti-social rubes. They believe that our police will protect them and their families. I hope they're right. But I must add, "When seconds count, the police are only minutes away."
And many of them are now standing in line outside their local gun stores for hours lately, trying to acquire the firearms and ammunition they should have purchased long, long ago. And, despite a paucity of selection, they've been buying anything they can get their hands on, or so the gun dealers tell us. Any gun, any caliber, any price.
Better late than never, I'd say.
But be advised that your better-late-than-never decision to purchase a weapon, although your Right, may be taken from you at any minute. How, you might ask? Simple. By an edict.
The mayor of Champaign, IL issued an edict last week closing her city's gun stores to all traffic. She said that in an emergency, "...people shouldn't be able to buy guns." Wha...? Need I add that she's a Democrat?
The mayor of San Jose, CA just issued an edict today declaring that all its gun stores must close, immediately. Something about "...not wishing to "add" to the crisis by injecting firearms into the equation." Sort of like not "adding" a life preserver to a sinking ship, I'd say. Another pantywaist, pearl-clutching Liberal, superimposing her own values over that of her residents.
The mayor of New Orleans just declared by edict that all gun stores in her Parish must close immediately. She never liked them, she said, and now's the time to close them. Too bad if you wanted a gun and hadn't bought one yet. Remember, votes have consequences, as the citizens of New Orleans are now learning.
(Flashback: When Katrina hit, Henry Lee, then Sheriff of New Orleans Parish, put his deputies in rowboats and sent them out to the homes of citizens who owned guns. To confiscate them. Immediately. Because their laws permitted him to know who owned the guns. How conveeeenient. Now his successor seems prepared to do the same thing...)
The Sheriff of Alameda County, CA just sent his deputies to shut down a gun store that remained open during his "shelter in place" edict. So, using the force of law...to prevent citizens from exercising their Constitutional Rights...just when they need them the most.
And now Newsom has decided to get into the act. He's long believed that so-called "assault weapons" have no business in the hands of "ordinary people." That would include you and me, I guess. And now he can do something about it.
(BTW, we have no "assault weapons" in private, non-military hands. We haven't since they were outlawed in 1934. But of course, the MSMedia doesn't tell you that, do they?)
For the past five years CA has required that the ownership of firearms be known to the State. Heretofore that has never, ever happened. In fact, the Federal Government, which oversees our current NICS (National Instant Criminal Background Check System) (you didn't know we had one, did you?), never intended the States to know who has what gun. Why? So they couldn't declare martial law and come to your house and take them from you. As is currently about to happen in many places.
Including California, perhaps...
I find it troubling that just when we need the ability to protect our lives and our property the most, the purportedly "helpful" government steps on our toes. Why, after releasing from prison more than 60,000 hardened felons over the past two years, does California work overtime to keep its citizens disarmed? There can only be one reason:
An unarmed populace...
is a compliant populace.
Friday, March 20, 2020
$1.07 Trillion Dollars...
So while we're in the midst of this national crisis, where all the businesses are closed and the planes aren't flying and the ships aren't cruising and the restaurants aren't serving and the kids are all home from school, making it necessary for their parents to stay home with them, away from work, and from their income, pulling out their collective hair, I thought I might pass along a reminder.
(Yes, I know the preceding sentence was grammatically incorrect. But since I know that, rest assured it's all okay.)
We Americans have a Federalist kind of Government. As opposed to a direct democracy, like ancient Rome, and current Venezuela, and we know how they turned out, now don't we? And we have a states-first sort of society. Our states are sovereign. They were, they are, and I'm guessing they shall always be. That means that they call the shots. They tell the Federal Government what to do, except in those narrow instances in which they've given the Feds explicit authority.
We know that's true because more than 500 of our states, counties, cities and townships have declared themselves "sanctuaries" for illegal alien immigrants, giving the Federal Government the finger in the process.
Think about it: If the states weren't in charge, wouldn't the Feds swoop in an put an end to this whole "sanctuary" disgrace?
That authority is straightforward: The states "let" the Federal Government, via the 10th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, a.), protect our borders; b.) mint our money; c.) deliver our mail; and d.) negotiate treaties with other nations.
You may have noticed that the Federal Government isn't doing a real stellar job at either a., b., c. or d.
On top of the above there have been many more recent "agreements" between the states and the Feds, as indicated by a whole bunch of Amendments to that self-same Constitution. Some other stuff like interstate commerce, and income taxes, and making our food safe to eat, and energy production have come along more recently, but the basic concept of states-rights still holds sway.
And that brings us to our current crisis. Four months ago the Chinese let loose upon this world a virus that has stopped us in our tracks. A group of 8 doctors in Wuhan Province, China tried to sound the alarm back in mid-December, 2019, on a new strain of coronavirus they thought highly-comunicative and extremely dangerous. They were jailed and prevented from doing so.
In fact, their lead physician, one Li Wenlieng, a 34 year-old opthalmologist, has subsequently died from this virus. But the word got out. And so did the virus. And now China has mounted a full-bore campaign to sidestep their culpability. And we citizens are hearing through a compliant, left-wing American media (shame be upon them), that not only is Trump a racist for calling a Chinese virus...a Chinese virus, but his Administration isn't doing the necessary testing and sending the masks and the ventilators and all the other stuff that the states are clamoring for.
Except that it's the states that are responsible for maintaining their own stockpiles of masks and ventilators and every other single form of medical care and treatment. They must find and buy their own, and maintain a stock sufficient for anticipated need. That's what they're supposed to do. And only if and when their stock is exhausted may they plea to the Feds for help.
I think our various governors need to get their collective arms around that last factoid.
As to tests, this is a new strain of an old virus (SARS, MERS, H1N1 preceded it). There were no "tests" until just the past couple of weeks. So it would be kind of hard to supply them.
I think we should expect our Federal Government to do its job. But I believe we should also expect the folks who run the states to do their jobs, first!
That's the Federalist system...
And, oh yeah, on the way out the digital door: Since a recent CDC report indicates this pandemic could have been reduced by more than 95% if China had just let us know in time, I'd like to pass along a suggestion to our Fearless Leader, "Big Orange." Tell the Chinese Communists to wad up all those IOU's we've been handing them all these years, totaling a nice, round $1.07 Trillion Dollars, and throw them in the nearest trashcan.
(Yes, I know the preceding sentence was grammatically incorrect. But since I know that, rest assured it's all okay.)
We Americans have a Federalist kind of Government. As opposed to a direct democracy, like ancient Rome, and current Venezuela, and we know how they turned out, now don't we? And we have a states-first sort of society. Our states are sovereign. They were, they are, and I'm guessing they shall always be. That means that they call the shots. They tell the Federal Government what to do, except in those narrow instances in which they've given the Feds explicit authority.
We know that's true because more than 500 of our states, counties, cities and townships have declared themselves "sanctuaries" for illegal alien immigrants, giving the Federal Government the finger in the process.
Think about it: If the states weren't in charge, wouldn't the Feds swoop in an put an end to this whole "sanctuary" disgrace?
That authority is straightforward: The states "let" the Federal Government, via the 10th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, a.), protect our borders; b.) mint our money; c.) deliver our mail; and d.) negotiate treaties with other nations.
You may have noticed that the Federal Government isn't doing a real stellar job at either a., b., c. or d.
On top of the above there have been many more recent "agreements" between the states and the Feds, as indicated by a whole bunch of Amendments to that self-same Constitution. Some other stuff like interstate commerce, and income taxes, and making our food safe to eat, and energy production have come along more recently, but the basic concept of states-rights still holds sway.
And that brings us to our current crisis. Four months ago the Chinese let loose upon this world a virus that has stopped us in our tracks. A group of 8 doctors in Wuhan Province, China tried to sound the alarm back in mid-December, 2019, on a new strain of coronavirus they thought highly-comunicative and extremely dangerous. They were jailed and prevented from doing so.
In fact, their lead physician, one Li Wenlieng, a 34 year-old opthalmologist, has subsequently died from this virus. But the word got out. And so did the virus. And now China has mounted a full-bore campaign to sidestep their culpability. And we citizens are hearing through a compliant, left-wing American media (shame be upon them), that not only is Trump a racist for calling a Chinese virus...a Chinese virus, but his Administration isn't doing the necessary testing and sending the masks and the ventilators and all the other stuff that the states are clamoring for.
Except that it's the states that are responsible for maintaining their own stockpiles of masks and ventilators and every other single form of medical care and treatment. They must find and buy their own, and maintain a stock sufficient for anticipated need. That's what they're supposed to do. And only if and when their stock is exhausted may they plea to the Feds for help.
I think our various governors need to get their collective arms around that last factoid.
As to tests, this is a new strain of an old virus (SARS, MERS, H1N1 preceded it). There were no "tests" until just the past couple of weeks. So it would be kind of hard to supply them.
I think we should expect our Federal Government to do its job. But I believe we should also expect the folks who run the states to do their jobs, first!
That's the Federalist system...
And, oh yeah, on the way out the digital door: Since a recent CDC report indicates this pandemic could have been reduced by more than 95% if China had just let us know in time, I'd like to pass along a suggestion to our Fearless Leader, "Big Orange." Tell the Chinese Communists to wad up all those IOU's we've been handing them all these years, totaling a nice, round $1.07 Trillion Dollars, and throw them in the nearest trashcan.
We. Are. Even...
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
The Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus...
I just got the word that the Chinese Government is doing its best to shift the blame for the Wuhan Coronavirus to America, when we all know, and they've previously admitted, that it emanated from the (in)famous "wet" Huanan Farmers Market in Wuhan Province. And by "wet," we mean that it sells all sorts of reeeely interesting and no doubt yummy animals for your dinner table, including snakes, pandas, bears, rats, cats and bats. And the theory goes that the virus jumped from a tasty bat soup (raaalf!) to a human, who then became "patient zero."
Now, I dunno' about you, but I for one really appreciate the Trump Administration's efforts to secure us, the American People, from the evil effects of the Asian Wuhan Coronavirus. So much so that I've done a bit of research as to what other efforts might be "entertained" to keep us safe.
And so I thought, why not shut down the movie and TV production industry as well? In addition to the restaurant and bar and nightclub and cruise and the aviation industry, which have already taken it in the shorts, let's add in the entertainment industry! Yeah, that's the ticket! It takes like a couple of hundred of these nice folks to produce a movie or TV episode. And they're all like touching and kissing and hugging and fist-bumping each other and stuff, all day long! Baaad!
Not goood!
So, I though it might be necessary for these nice folks, all of whom identify as epidemiologists and infectious disease specialists in their spare time, or so their Twitter feeds tell us, to help out in other ways besides memorizing lines written by somebody else and spewing them on cue into a camera when some rando dude yells "action."
So we know that stopping all those productions would eliminate the chance of thousands of our most stellar performers from getting sick and depriving us, their loyal fans, of their wonderfulness. And it would free them up to perhaps stand in line at their local Walgreens, or CVS, or Target store to help out as the normal, everyday folks, the same ones who routinely pay to watch their drivel, stream through to get their drive-thru testing for the Asian Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus.
They could have their public relations staffs and publicists and Instagrammers and Reddit trollers and other sycophants hold their coats and take pictures as they pretend to be happy to help. I'm sure that would make all the toothless, pickup truck-driving, bible-thumping, flag-waving, gun-toting Great Unwashed among us feel oh so good about the awful straights in which Normal America finds itself.
And I'd recommend that Little Mikey Moore and Bobby Dee Nero and Joyless Behard and Larry O'Donnell, each of whom have more than enough advice to offer on this Asian Chinese Wuhan Far Eastern Coronavirus, so we could all be better off if they'd lend a professional hand. There's a bunch of other Liberal entertainment elites, but I repeat myself, who might also want to help. After all, they'll be out of work for a change, so they'd have plenty of time to assist in their part-time occupations as medical professionals.
If they wanted to, that is...
So, since we have a backlog of more than 50 years worth of old movies and TV shows to watch while we wait for this pandemic to be over, we really don't need any new stuff from these guys right now. Maybe later, but not right now. Now? Don't call us, we'll call you. Maybe they'd like to actually prove themselves to be the good, solid Americans they pretend to be while we collectively beat this Asian Chinese Wuhan Far Eastern "Way Over There" Not From Anywhere Close To Here Bat Soup Coronavirus...
And remember, pretending is all they ever really do...
Now, I dunno' about you, but I for one really appreciate the Trump Administration's efforts to secure us, the American People, from the evil effects of the Asian Wuhan Coronavirus. So much so that I've done a bit of research as to what other efforts might be "entertained" to keep us safe.
And so I thought, why not shut down the movie and TV production industry as well? In addition to the restaurant and bar and nightclub and cruise and the aviation industry, which have already taken it in the shorts, let's add in the entertainment industry! Yeah, that's the ticket! It takes like a couple of hundred of these nice folks to produce a movie or TV episode. And they're all like touching and kissing and hugging and fist-bumping each other and stuff, all day long! Baaad!
Not goood!
So, I though it might be necessary for these nice folks, all of whom identify as epidemiologists and infectious disease specialists in their spare time, or so their Twitter feeds tell us, to help out in other ways besides memorizing lines written by somebody else and spewing them on cue into a camera when some rando dude yells "action."
So we know that stopping all those productions would eliminate the chance of thousands of our most stellar performers from getting sick and depriving us, their loyal fans, of their wonderfulness. And it would free them up to perhaps stand in line at their local Walgreens, or CVS, or Target store to help out as the normal, everyday folks, the same ones who routinely pay to watch their drivel, stream through to get their drive-thru testing for the Asian Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus.
They could have their public relations staffs and publicists and Instagrammers and Reddit trollers and other sycophants hold their coats and take pictures as they pretend to be happy to help. I'm sure that would make all the toothless, pickup truck-driving, bible-thumping, flag-waving, gun-toting Great Unwashed among us feel oh so good about the awful straights in which Normal America finds itself.
And I'd recommend that Little Mikey Moore and Bobby Dee Nero and Joyless Behard and Larry O'Donnell, each of whom have more than enough advice to offer on this Asian Chinese Wuhan Far Eastern Coronavirus, so we could all be better off if they'd lend a professional hand. There's a bunch of other Liberal entertainment elites, but I repeat myself, who might also want to help. After all, they'll be out of work for a change, so they'd have plenty of time to assist in their part-time occupations as medical professionals.
If they wanted to, that is...
So, since we have a backlog of more than 50 years worth of old movies and TV shows to watch while we wait for this pandemic to be over, we really don't need any new stuff from these guys right now. Maybe later, but not right now. Now? Don't call us, we'll call you. Maybe they'd like to actually prove themselves to be the good, solid Americans they pretend to be while we collectively beat this Asian Chinese Wuhan Far Eastern "Way Over There" Not From Anywhere Close To Here Bat Soup Coronavirus...
And remember, pretending is all they ever really do...
Sunday, March 15, 2020
For the Newly Toilet Paper Rich...
So I'm guessing that all those folks who stocked up on toilet paper and bottled water are now worried sick about having their new-found "paper" wealth taken from them by some evil perpetrator.
And I can certainly sympathize with them, because as we all know, scads and scads of toilet paper is a really good thing to have. And cases upon cases of bottled water, too. I'm guessing people haven't figured out they can use Democrat campaign mailers instead of t.p., and actually turn the spigot on their trusty sink and extract some H2O from there.
But hey, it takes all kinds. Some of us made a run on the liquor store, and some of us decided to offload some of their wealth to the Scott Paper Company.
But I'm also guessing these are the same folks who likely get their news from Yahoo, and probably don't have any means of defending either themselves, or their hoards of t.p. and wa-wa.
So I, The Chuckmeister, Eagle Scout, Army (Lone) Ranger, Master Gunsmith and Certified Badass with any sort of firearm, hereby offer up a service these folks are likely to need. Since I have oodles of guns, and tons of ammo, certainly mucho more than the commies in charge of our MSMedia think necessary, and the willingness to use them in the event some Bad Guy tries to separate a fine citizen from his/her/its t.p. and Avian, I hereby offer my armed security services to any and all.
If you have a garage full of toilet paper and bottled water, and are losing sleep thinking somebody might try and boost them from you, just call in The Chuckmeister. For a fee likely less than you invested in asswipe and bourbon diluter, I'll protect your stuff from all enemies foreign and domestic. And anyone stupid enough to have spent a small fortune buying enough t.p. for New Hampshire is most likely willing to pay it. And each and every one my new clients will also have an automatic entry into next year's Darwin Awards.
But be warned: based on what we're seeing on TV these days, you'll have lots and lots of competition...
And I can certainly sympathize with them, because as we all know, scads and scads of toilet paper is a really good thing to have. And cases upon cases of bottled water, too. I'm guessing people haven't figured out they can use Democrat campaign mailers instead of t.p., and actually turn the spigot on their trusty sink and extract some H2O from there.
But hey, it takes all kinds. Some of us made a run on the liquor store, and some of us decided to offload some of their wealth to the Scott Paper Company.
But I'm also guessing these are the same folks who likely get their news from Yahoo, and probably don't have any means of defending either themselves, or their hoards of t.p. and wa-wa.
So I, The Chuckmeister, Eagle Scout, Army (Lone) Ranger, Master Gunsmith and Certified Badass with any sort of firearm, hereby offer up a service these folks are likely to need. Since I have oodles of guns, and tons of ammo, certainly mucho more than the commies in charge of our MSMedia think necessary, and the willingness to use them in the event some Bad Guy tries to separate a fine citizen from his/her/its t.p. and Avian, I hereby offer my armed security services to any and all.
If you have a garage full of toilet paper and bottled water, and are losing sleep thinking somebody might try and boost them from you, just call in The Chuckmeister. For a fee likely less than you invested in asswipe and bourbon diluter, I'll protect your stuff from all enemies foreign and domestic. And anyone stupid enough to have spent a small fortune buying enough t.p. for New Hampshire is most likely willing to pay it. And each and every one my new clients will also have an automatic entry into next year's Darwin Awards.
But be warned: based on what we're seeing on TV these days, you'll have lots and lots of competition...
Friday, March 13, 2020
"Sanctuary Cities"
Now, I dunno' about you, but my feathers have become a bit ruffled over this whole "sanctuary city" thing. Why?
If you've been living in a refrigerator box under a bridge in Cinnnncinnnannnaatti, you perhaps are unaware of this new and troubling development. "Sanctuary cities," as they're called, are:
"Cities, counties and states which have enacted laws, ordinances, regulations, resolutions, policies, or other practices that obstruct immigration enforcement and shield criminals from ICE, either by refusing to, or prohibiting agencies from, complying with ICE detainers, imposing unreasonable conditions on incarcerated aliens, or otherwise impeding communication or information exchanges between their personnel and Federal immigration officers."
In short, for those who don't read "bureaucrat-eze," like the total horsesh*t above, states and counties and cities which declare themselves to be "sanctuaries" are deciding to give the Federal Government the finger. Got it?
What that all that stuff above means is that the Feds' Immigration and Customs Enforcement guys and gals (and those of as-yet-to-be-determined gender) are charged with the responsibility of hunting down and arresting illegal aliens who have been charged with a crime, tried in a court of law, and then convicted. And to do so they often need to issue legal "detainers" to local jails for them to hold convicted criminals in their grasp so they may later be snatched up by the Feds and either deported, or incarcerated in advance of a (much) later deportation.
Makes sense, right?
That's the way it's supposed to go. That's NOT the way it's going in some 500 of our cities, counties and states.
500? 500! Hmmmm...
A "detainer" is the primary legal tool used by ICE to gain control of criminal aliens for deportation. It is a legal notice to another law enforcement agency, like a jail or a detention center, that ICE intends to assume custody of an alien in their control upon release, and includes information on the alien's previous criminal history, immigration violations, and potential threat to public safety and security, especially if released.
However, these 500+ scofflaw cities and counties and states have chosen to unilaterally defy the Federal immigration laws that make it incumbent upon their officials to hold convicted criminals for ICE arrest. In other words, they shield these criminals from the Federal authorities, preventing detainer implementation. In other, other words, they're defying Federal law. All of them. Today. Right now...
So it's pretty obvious where these law breakers are located. The states include CO, CT, IL, MA, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT and CA (for shame!), all owned and managed by Democrat political majorities. And it gets worse. California, for instance, now boasts that 22 of its 58 counties are sanctuaries for convicted criminal aliens. (Of course, to me that means that 36, aren't!). Boasts! Colorado has just as many. And Oregon. And New York, of course. The backward state of New York just started issuing illegals drivers' licenses and eliminating cash bail for illegals, the poor and the homeless (being the most friendly to illegal aliens, California did that years ago, of course). That means, you can offend at 9:00 a.m., and be back on the streets by lunchtime.
Just imagine how demoralizing that must be for law enforcement officers! The perp is back on the street before their paperwork is done...
But anyway, I was just thinking: these "sanctuary" entities are picking and choosing which Federal laws to honor. This one's okay, that one's not. Hmmmm. I kind of like that idea. We operate a Federalist Society here, one where the states give up some of their authority and autonomy to the Feds in exchange for certain considerations. Except it now seems these same states and cities and counties that have ceded that authority and autonomy, now have chosen to unilaterally take it back. How about we citizens of these same sanctuary states and cities and counties proceed to do the exact same thing?
These states have declared themselves unfettered by Federal law. How about we declare ourselves unfettered by state law? How about we decide to declare our domiciles as sanctuaries from any jurisdiction? It would be kind of a twist on that old "Sovereign Citizen" claim, but hey, we're the citizens here, and the governments, whichever they may be, are here to serve and support us, not the other way around!
Something tells me that the More Equal Than You have forgotten that little nicety...
And how about we just decide not to pay our taxes. No Federal taxes, no State taxes, no local taxes. Just stop paying taxes! We declare ourselves "sanctuaries" from such unfair and unwanted "intrusion" into our "sovereign" lives, and proceed to use that money to buy ourselves and our families lots and lots of really nice things. So how about that idea?
After all, we've been told for eons that paying our taxes was "voluntary," right? Remember when then-Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told us that? Well, if it's so voluntary, how about we volunteer to withhold it?
In summation, as I proceed to exit the digital door, my suggestion is that we turn the tables on those who have declared war upon us, the citizens. Our houses are "sanctuaries," our persons are "sanctuaries." We individuals are "sanctuaries." So if California, and New York, and Oregon and Washington, and Delaware, and New Jersey, and, and, and, can simply decide which laws to obey and which ones to ignore, so can we.
Agree?
That good old 2nd Amendment is becoming more important in our lives just about now, isn't it? It sure is in mine...
If you've been living in a refrigerator box under a bridge in Cinnnncinnnannnaatti, you perhaps are unaware of this new and troubling development. "Sanctuary cities," as they're called, are:
"Cities, counties and states which have enacted laws, ordinances, regulations, resolutions, policies, or other practices that obstruct immigration enforcement and shield criminals from ICE, either by refusing to, or prohibiting agencies from, complying with ICE detainers, imposing unreasonable conditions on incarcerated aliens, or otherwise impeding communication or information exchanges between their personnel and Federal immigration officers."
In short, for those who don't read "bureaucrat-eze," like the total horsesh*t above, states and counties and cities which declare themselves to be "sanctuaries" are deciding to give the Federal Government the finger. Got it?
What that all that stuff above means is that the Feds' Immigration and Customs Enforcement guys and gals (and those of as-yet-to-be-determined gender) are charged with the responsibility of hunting down and arresting illegal aliens who have been charged with a crime, tried in a court of law, and then convicted. And to do so they often need to issue legal "detainers" to local jails for them to hold convicted criminals in their grasp so they may later be snatched up by the Feds and either deported, or incarcerated in advance of a (much) later deportation.
Makes sense, right?
That's the way it's supposed to go. That's NOT the way it's going in some 500 of our cities, counties and states.
500? 500! Hmmmm...
A "detainer" is the primary legal tool used by ICE to gain control of criminal aliens for deportation. It is a legal notice to another law enforcement agency, like a jail or a detention center, that ICE intends to assume custody of an alien in their control upon release, and includes information on the alien's previous criminal history, immigration violations, and potential threat to public safety and security, especially if released.
However, these 500+ scofflaw cities and counties and states have chosen to unilaterally defy the Federal immigration laws that make it incumbent upon their officials to hold convicted criminals for ICE arrest. In other words, they shield these criminals from the Federal authorities, preventing detainer implementation. In other, other words, they're defying Federal law. All of them. Today. Right now...
So it's pretty obvious where these law breakers are located. The states include CO, CT, IL, MA, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT and CA (for shame!), all owned and managed by Democrat political majorities. And it gets worse. California, for instance, now boasts that 22 of its 58 counties are sanctuaries for convicted criminal aliens. (Of course, to me that means that 36, aren't!). Boasts! Colorado has just as many. And Oregon. And New York, of course. The backward state of New York just started issuing illegals drivers' licenses and eliminating cash bail for illegals, the poor and the homeless (being the most friendly to illegal aliens, California did that years ago, of course). That means, you can offend at 9:00 a.m., and be back on the streets by lunchtime.
Just imagine how demoralizing that must be for law enforcement officers! The perp is back on the street before their paperwork is done...
But anyway, I was just thinking: these "sanctuary" entities are picking and choosing which Federal laws to honor. This one's okay, that one's not. Hmmmm. I kind of like that idea. We operate a Federalist Society here, one where the states give up some of their authority and autonomy to the Feds in exchange for certain considerations. Except it now seems these same states and cities and counties that have ceded that authority and autonomy, now have chosen to unilaterally take it back. How about we citizens of these same sanctuary states and cities and counties proceed to do the exact same thing?
These states have declared themselves unfettered by Federal law. How about we declare ourselves unfettered by state law? How about we decide to declare our domiciles as sanctuaries from any jurisdiction? It would be kind of a twist on that old "Sovereign Citizen" claim, but hey, we're the citizens here, and the governments, whichever they may be, are here to serve and support us, not the other way around!
Something tells me that the More Equal Than You have forgotten that little nicety...
And how about we just decide not to pay our taxes. No Federal taxes, no State taxes, no local taxes. Just stop paying taxes! We declare ourselves "sanctuaries" from such unfair and unwanted "intrusion" into our "sovereign" lives, and proceed to use that money to buy ourselves and our families lots and lots of really nice things. So how about that idea?
After all, we've been told for eons that paying our taxes was "voluntary," right? Remember when then-Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told us that? Well, if it's so voluntary, how about we volunteer to withhold it?
In summation, as I proceed to exit the digital door, my suggestion is that we turn the tables on those who have declared war upon us, the citizens. Our houses are "sanctuaries," our persons are "sanctuaries." We individuals are "sanctuaries." So if California, and New York, and Oregon and Washington, and Delaware, and New Jersey, and, and, and, can simply decide which laws to obey and which ones to ignore, so can we.
Agree?
That good old 2nd Amendment is becoming more important in our lives just about now, isn't it? It sure is in mine...
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Jeopardy!
So it's looking like the longish nightmare visited upon each and every one of us in the almost never-ending search for a Democrat 2020 POTUS candidate is nearly over.
Thank God!
It's looking like Prez Donald J. Trump will be facing Joseph Biden in the fall. Yes, it's looking like we may have our two POTUS candidates...
Buuuuut, the Democrats and the Liberals and the socialists and the communists and the college and university professors and the lobbyists and the proud members of our so-called "Mainstream Media" have begun telling us that The Donald is "Morbidly Obese!" Do they even know what that term actually means? Interesting...
And the Republicans and the conservatives and the folks at the White House and anyone with half a brain are telling us that good ol' "Uncle Joe" is no longer playing with a full deck. His elevator has ceased going to the top floor. He's one fry short of a Happy Meal. The Bottom Line, as they say, is he's suffering from early-onset dementia (my formal, official, professional diagnosis).
Actually, where I come from, we would say, "He couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight." Kind of like that...
The Lefties will shout that Trump is faaaaat! The Righties will scream that Biden is Non Compas Mentis (look it up)! Who's right, I would ask rhetorically? There's really only one way to find out for sure...
In the old days two old codgers like these would face off on the field of battle. They'd gallop towards each other on horseback wielding lances and shields. Or they'd stand, back-to-back, pistols cocked and ready, prepared to take those ten scary paces called for in a duel to the death. Or, they'd meet on Front Street at High Noon, six guns poised for the draw. But that was yesterday. How about today?
I propose that we get in touch with Alan Trebek and arrange a pay-per-view, three-day "duel" for these old boys on Jeopardy. We could test the mental acuity of both candidates with Trebek as the moderator. He'd ask the questions, let's just see exactly WHO between these two candidates could come up with the answers.
Annnnd, at $20 a household for the privilege of watching, we should be able to pay off our National Debt while we find out which of these august old war horses is sharp enough to lead the nation. I think Trump would go for this. Yes, yes he would. And, I doubt very much if Joe's people would let him participate. Oh, he'd say "yes," completely oblivious to the obvious, but they'd say "Noooooooo!" What do you think?
All good ideas are looking for somewhere to go and die. Let's try and keep this one alive. "Jeopardy 2020!" It's got a good ring to it, now don't it?
Pass it along. Make it go VIRAL!
Thank God!
It's looking like Prez Donald J. Trump will be facing Joseph Biden in the fall. Yes, it's looking like we may have our two POTUS candidates...
Buuuuut, the Democrats and the Liberals and the socialists and the communists and the college and university professors and the lobbyists and the proud members of our so-called "Mainstream Media" have begun telling us that The Donald is "Morbidly Obese!" Do they even know what that term actually means? Interesting...
And the Republicans and the conservatives and the folks at the White House and anyone with half a brain are telling us that good ol' "Uncle Joe" is no longer playing with a full deck. His elevator has ceased going to the top floor. He's one fry short of a Happy Meal. The Bottom Line, as they say, is he's suffering from early-onset dementia (my formal, official, professional diagnosis).
Actually, where I come from, we would say, "He couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight." Kind of like that...
The Lefties will shout that Trump is faaaaat! The Righties will scream that Biden is Non Compas Mentis (look it up)! Who's right, I would ask rhetorically? There's really only one way to find out for sure...
In the old days two old codgers like these would face off on the field of battle. They'd gallop towards each other on horseback wielding lances and shields. Or they'd stand, back-to-back, pistols cocked and ready, prepared to take those ten scary paces called for in a duel to the death. Or, they'd meet on Front Street at High Noon, six guns poised for the draw. But that was yesterday. How about today?
Jeopardy!
I propose that we get in touch with Alan Trebek and arrange a pay-per-view, three-day "duel" for these old boys on Jeopardy. We could test the mental acuity of both candidates with Trebek as the moderator. He'd ask the questions, let's just see exactly WHO between these two candidates could come up with the answers.
Annnnd, at $20 a household for the privilege of watching, we should be able to pay off our National Debt while we find out which of these august old war horses is sharp enough to lead the nation. I think Trump would go for this. Yes, yes he would. And, I doubt very much if Joe's people would let him participate. Oh, he'd say "yes," completely oblivious to the obvious, but they'd say "Noooooooo!" What do you think?
All good ideas are looking for somewhere to go and die. Let's try and keep this one alive. "Jeopardy 2020!" It's got a good ring to it, now don't it?
Pass it along. Make it go VIRAL!
Monday, March 9, 2020
"...the Pursuit of Happiness."
The Declaration of Independence guarantees each American citizen the Right to...
Please notice that I underlined "Pursuit." That's because our guarantee is that if we pursue it hard enough, and perhaps are fortunate enough, we'll attain it. But only if...
It seems, however, that something's been lost in translation between the opportunity offered by that august document from more than 230 years ago, and now. Now, it seems, our younger citizens, and maybe some of our more aged ones, and an assortment of socialists Marxists and communists, believe they're entitled to happiness without having to pursue it. Successfully, or not. Or, maybe they pursued it, and failed. And maybe they're just pissed at that outcome.
Or maybe they're just too damn lazy to even try...
And maybe that's just due to improper, or incomplete, or erroneous, or intentionally incorrect teaching content or methods. Maybe they've just been sold a bill of goods by those who've failed to attain the "happiness" they've personally sought, and have unfortunately failed to attain it, and so they're passing along...their unhappiness.
Or perhaps they're just of a mind that nobody anywhere should be happier than they are, and if they are, it's bogus.
I dunno' about you, but I've grown increasingly weary of those who seem to want a handout instead of a hand up. Those who seem to believe they're "owed" everything for free, just because they're Americans. Just because of an accident of birth, or of geography, it seems that a whole bunch of folks seem to think they're owed "life, liberty and...happiness, without that "having to pursue," part.
Well, they're wrong.
There may be very smart people who choose incorrectly, and thus crash and burn. And there may be very accomplished singers and dancers and musicians who may not "break through," and thus are relegated to playing that accordion only for friends and neighbors. Or for singing only in the church choir. Or dancing only during a night out at the club. Or maybe playing for tips in the bowels of a subway. But that's not my fault. Nor is it anyone's fault, except theirs. But clouding up and raining all over everyone because they don't have everything they want is not very bright. And not very reasonable. And it's guaranteed to piss off everyone around them...
So I'd suggest that anyone who demands a whole bunch of free stuff (ala Bernie Sanders) simply because they're an American should sue their civics instructor. Assuming they actually had a civics class. Maybe it was supplanted by "Medieval Lesbian Studies." But if it was, to them I would say, "Stop demanding and start working." That's the only way I know to actually attain the happiness which everyone seeks...
"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit
of Happiness."
It seems, however, that something's been lost in translation between the opportunity offered by that august document from more than 230 years ago, and now. Now, it seems, our younger citizens, and maybe some of our more aged ones, and an assortment of socialists Marxists and communists, believe they're entitled to happiness without having to pursue it. Successfully, or not. Or, maybe they pursued it, and failed. And maybe they're just pissed at that outcome.
Or maybe they're just too damn lazy to even try...
And maybe that's just due to improper, or incomplete, or erroneous, or intentionally incorrect teaching content or methods. Maybe they've just been sold a bill of goods by those who've failed to attain the "happiness" they've personally sought, and have unfortunately failed to attain it, and so they're passing along...their unhappiness.
Or perhaps they're just of a mind that nobody anywhere should be happier than they are, and if they are, it's bogus.
I dunno' about you, but I've grown increasingly weary of those who seem to want a handout instead of a hand up. Those who seem to believe they're "owed" everything for free, just because they're Americans. Just because of an accident of birth, or of geography, it seems that a whole bunch of folks seem to think they're owed "life, liberty and...happiness, without that "having to pursue," part.
Well, they're wrong.
There may be very smart people who choose incorrectly, and thus crash and burn. And there may be very accomplished singers and dancers and musicians who may not "break through," and thus are relegated to playing that accordion only for friends and neighbors. Or for singing only in the church choir. Or dancing only during a night out at the club. Or maybe playing for tips in the bowels of a subway. But that's not my fault. Nor is it anyone's fault, except theirs. But clouding up and raining all over everyone because they don't have everything they want is not very bright. And not very reasonable. And it's guaranteed to piss off everyone around them...
So I'd suggest that anyone who demands a whole bunch of free stuff (ala Bernie Sanders) simply because they're an American should sue their civics instructor. Assuming they actually had a civics class. Maybe it was supplanted by "Medieval Lesbian Studies." But if it was, to them I would say, "Stop demanding and start working." That's the only way I know to actually attain the happiness which everyone seeks...
Saturday, March 7, 2020
The Federal City.
Nobody in our Federal City, Washington, the District of Columbia, is a Republican.
Oh, there's a few, but not enough to fill a phone booth, except in those years when a Republican Administration is in power. Those brave souls tend to come and go, usually every two to four years, but very few stay in D.C. after their Republican benefactor leaves office. Why? Because Democrats are too smart to fill their appointments with Republicans...
But what remains is 400,000 Federal Workers, almost all of whom are Democrats. Doubt me? 96.1% of all registered voters in Washington, D.C. voted for Hillary in 2016 (Federal Elections Commission). Why? Because they just luuuuv spending! Lots and lots of spending! And they just luuuuv being the recipient of all that largess.
Big Government! Hooray! Because that means they have a job, and they get to keep it! Even, as usually happens, when the next Republican President comes to town...
I was stationed for a time in Washington, D. C. whilst on a mission from God way back when to save my Country from communism. Well, okay, not God, exactly. More like the United States Army. And I did a pretty good job, you'll note. I defeated the Soviet Union back in the last century, but I cannot take all the credit. There were a few others involved.
Ahem...
But while there, serving in that oxymoron known as "military intelligence," I discovered some stuff that you, my loyal and faithful readers, might like to know. So here goes...
"You could shoot a cannon off down Constitution Avenue and not hit a Republican." A new friend told me that almost as soon as I hit town. He was warning me to keep my political persuasions to myself if I intended to try and scare up a date. I recall thinking that he must be mistaken, or maybe jesting. He wasn't...
When I was coming up I used to think that whenever a new administration took charge in D.C., the incoming new POTUS cleaned house. I thought when a new President was elected he swept all past political appointees away, and replaced them with new folks more closely aligned with his own political persuasions. That only makes sense, right? How else do you go about accomplishing your political objectives unless you have dedicated professionals to help you?
I thought the incoming POTUS used the 90-or-so days post-election and pre-inauguration to push all of his predecessor's loyalists out the door, and then find and appoint a whole new cadre to run Washington. I thought that. Maybe you thought that, too.
But we would both be wrong...
As it turns out, and as you've no doubt discovered if you've been paying any attention at all to the events unfolding in the Trump Administration over the past three years, there's a permanent group of Democrats living and working in D.C. I say Democrats because that's the Party that benefits most by continued, unending, enlarging, expanding, growing Federal public spending. And in maintaining the levers of power. And they're not likely to support any proposal that reduces that spending.
And that would include the preferences of the Republican boss for whom they currently work.
Think about it: Republicans always campaign to go to D. C. and reduce the size of Government. To reduce spending, and kill wasteful programs, and return the power back to the people. Those desires are in conflict with the Democrats who feast on Government spending, and will fight to keep it humming along without any interference from those who seek to reduce it. And usually, as we've come to know, that resistance occurs just below the radar, so we have to dig to uncover it.
So when a Democrat Administration takes over, they're ready and willing to take up arms in support of that Party's core goals. But when a Republican Administration is elected, there's usually not enough experienced professionals still living and working there to fill the tens of thousands of personnel appointments necessary to keep the behemoth of our Federal Government running. So most often they have no choice but to continue utilizing the services of the political appointees already serving in those positions.
And those appointees are almost always Democrats.
And as we've learned in the case of Trump, just waiting for the chance to destroy his Presidency. Whistleblower, anyone? Drip, drip, drip...
Trump discovered that. His predecessors discovered that also. Except in Trump's case, his political enemies in what is called the "deep state," mostly located in the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA, aided by the outgoing Obama Administration's efforts to pull strings and plant land mines, were willing to attempt a "soft coup" to unwind the results of the 2016 General Election and remove him from office. That is not conjecture. We now have proof that this happened, and investigations are underway by Bill Barr, the new FBI Director, to prove it. The Durban Report, investigating all the machinations outlined above, is also due out soon. That's the one that will recommend criminal referrals. I'm pretty sure they're are a lot of very nervous ex-Obama appointees in D.C. these days...
For the first time in the history of America, so far as we know, a "coup" was attempted. And failed. And what we're learning in the aftermath should be a lesson to us all. When you have hundreds of thousands of people working in all aspects of the Federal Government (nearly two million of them!), who each depend upon the continuation of the funding that keeps their inflated paychecks cashing (the average Federal worker in D.C. makes a salary of $100,000+), without regard for whether that spending is in the Country's best interests, anyone who stands in their way is the enemy. Trump was - and is - the enemy. The people who voted for him are the enemy. We're told that nearly every day. And we saw what they were willing to do to make sure he couldn't keep his campaign promises...
Yet, in spite of it all, he's flourished. To their collective chagrin. And a few of them must be looking over their shoulders these days. I think they may need to all start lawyering-up, as the saying goes...
Oh, there's a few, but not enough to fill a phone booth, except in those years when a Republican Administration is in power. Those brave souls tend to come and go, usually every two to four years, but very few stay in D.C. after their Republican benefactor leaves office. Why? Because Democrats are too smart to fill their appointments with Republicans...
But what remains is 400,000 Federal Workers, almost all of whom are Democrats. Doubt me? 96.1% of all registered voters in Washington, D.C. voted for Hillary in 2016 (Federal Elections Commission). Why? Because they just luuuuv spending! Lots and lots of spending! And they just luuuuv being the recipient of all that largess.
Big Government! Hooray! Because that means they have a job, and they get to keep it! Even, as usually happens, when the next Republican President comes to town...
I was stationed for a time in Washington, D. C. whilst on a mission from God way back when to save my Country from communism. Well, okay, not God, exactly. More like the United States Army. And I did a pretty good job, you'll note. I defeated the Soviet Union back in the last century, but I cannot take all the credit. There were a few others involved.
Ahem...
But while there, serving in that oxymoron known as "military intelligence," I discovered some stuff that you, my loyal and faithful readers, might like to know. So here goes...
"You could shoot a cannon off down Constitution Avenue and not hit a Republican." A new friend told me that almost as soon as I hit town. He was warning me to keep my political persuasions to myself if I intended to try and scare up a date. I recall thinking that he must be mistaken, or maybe jesting. He wasn't...
When I was coming up I used to think that whenever a new administration took charge in D.C., the incoming new POTUS cleaned house. I thought when a new President was elected he swept all past political appointees away, and replaced them with new folks more closely aligned with his own political persuasions. That only makes sense, right? How else do you go about accomplishing your political objectives unless you have dedicated professionals to help you?
I thought the incoming POTUS used the 90-or-so days post-election and pre-inauguration to push all of his predecessor's loyalists out the door, and then find and appoint a whole new cadre to run Washington. I thought that. Maybe you thought that, too.
But we would both be wrong...
As it turns out, and as you've no doubt discovered if you've been paying any attention at all to the events unfolding in the Trump Administration over the past three years, there's a permanent group of Democrats living and working in D.C. I say Democrats because that's the Party that benefits most by continued, unending, enlarging, expanding, growing Federal public spending. And in maintaining the levers of power. And they're not likely to support any proposal that reduces that spending.
And that would include the preferences of the Republican boss for whom they currently work.
Think about it: Republicans always campaign to go to D. C. and reduce the size of Government. To reduce spending, and kill wasteful programs, and return the power back to the people. Those desires are in conflict with the Democrats who feast on Government spending, and will fight to keep it humming along without any interference from those who seek to reduce it. And usually, as we've come to know, that resistance occurs just below the radar, so we have to dig to uncover it.
So when a Democrat Administration takes over, they're ready and willing to take up arms in support of that Party's core goals. But when a Republican Administration is elected, there's usually not enough experienced professionals still living and working there to fill the tens of thousands of personnel appointments necessary to keep the behemoth of our Federal Government running. So most often they have no choice but to continue utilizing the services of the political appointees already serving in those positions.
And those appointees are almost always Democrats.
And as we've learned in the case of Trump, just waiting for the chance to destroy his Presidency. Whistleblower, anyone? Drip, drip, drip...
Trump discovered that. His predecessors discovered that also. Except in Trump's case, his political enemies in what is called the "deep state," mostly located in the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA, aided by the outgoing Obama Administration's efforts to pull strings and plant land mines, were willing to attempt a "soft coup" to unwind the results of the 2016 General Election and remove him from office. That is not conjecture. We now have proof that this happened, and investigations are underway by Bill Barr, the new FBI Director, to prove it. The Durban Report, investigating all the machinations outlined above, is also due out soon. That's the one that will recommend criminal referrals. I'm pretty sure they're are a lot of very nervous ex-Obama appointees in D.C. these days...
For the first time in the history of America, so far as we know, a "coup" was attempted. And failed. And what we're learning in the aftermath should be a lesson to us all. When you have hundreds of thousands of people working in all aspects of the Federal Government (nearly two million of them!), who each depend upon the continuation of the funding that keeps their inflated paychecks cashing (the average Federal worker in D.C. makes a salary of $100,000+), without regard for whether that spending is in the Country's best interests, anyone who stands in their way is the enemy. Trump was - and is - the enemy. The people who voted for him are the enemy. We're told that nearly every day. And we saw what they were willing to do to make sure he couldn't keep his campaign promises...
Yet, in spite of it all, he's flourished. To their collective chagrin. And a few of them must be looking over their shoulders these days. I think they may need to all start lawyering-up, as the saying goes...
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