T*ts and A*s...

 I'd like to offer up a suggestion in the name of... 

"equity."

You know, that thing that Marxists have been selling our yout (what's a yout?) for a generation?  Or more?  That "diversity is strength" and "equity trumps equality" bullsh*t.  That stuff.  But that's all the wash of hogs when one traipses through the Internet search engines these days and notices...

ti*s and a*s.  

Aren't asterisks wonderful?

So anyway, let's start at the end and work backwards.

Actually, starting at the "end" is a good place to start (heh, heh).  Because it seems that every single starlet-to-be, or starlet-that-was, is taking off her clothes and parading around near-naked for all the world the see.  In an effort to get noticed.  And maybe snag a part in a movie.  Or a TV commercial.  Or a producer's couch.  So they could quit the job at Arbys.

Where are their mothers?

in fact, I think ti*s and as* are beyond wonderful.  I've always been a l*g and a*s man, myself, not that I have anything against a good set of kno*kers.  In fact, I'd like to have something against a good set of kn*ckers!  (heh, heh).  So I gaze upon mostly undressed babes with a smile upon my face.  

But not when I'm trying to get the daily news. 

When I'm trying to vacuum up the news of the world I'd prefer not to be distracted by a quantum of feminine pulchritude.  

Nomsayin?'  

So in the name of "equity," I propose that men should be included in this proposition.  They should get a shot at disrobing in front of an electronic crowd just like the babes do.  Whether the male customers like it or not.  Men should either be able to take off their clothes one-for-one with women, or the women should keep their clothes on.  And compete on a level playing field.  

One not muddled up by a set of bounching boob*es.  Or a jig*ling derr*ere.  What was I talking about?  

Hello!  We all know men think about sex an average of every nine seconds,* so let's stop scratching this itch!  

Every hot babe in a thong (picture me biting my knuckle) should be followed by one of those Australian dudes in a (gasp!) tho*g.  I mean, make the website look like gay porn sites if we must, even oil up the gize, if you must.  But as the father of four daughters, I say let's do our part on behalf of well-endowed women everywhere and fergodssake, let them buy a wardrobe!  

Then maybe we'll all get real and take them both down!

There should be a place for pictures of hot babes, and even hot dudes.  But on a channel purporting to "sell" us the news, which nearly all of them do, only hanging on by "selling out" to risque advertisers is not one of them.  

'Nuff said.

*    Harvard Business Review, 1999.