A Magic Trick

So San Fran Nan Pelosi finally delivered the 2nd Articles of Impeachment on ex-POTUS Trump to Mitch McConnell over at the Senate.  

That means, if you were paying attention in high school civics class, the Senate must now drop everything, macht schell, which is German for superfast, as per the Constitution, and immediately begin (ex-)President Donald J. Trump's trial.  To remove Trump from orifice.  Immediately.  The orifice from which he's already left.  As in, "bye-bye."  Gone.  Mitch is reported to have set aside two weeks in February for the trial.  Two weeks.  Two weeks in the future.  Two weeks to remove a man who has already...been removed.  By the Constitution.  Because his term of office ended.  Three months previously.  I can't imagine why such a trial, if they feel they just have to have one, should take much more than an hour or two for the following simple reasons:

1.  Trump is no longer there.  Hello!  Hasn't anybody noticed?  Word has it he was playing golf at Mar-a-Lago yesterday, so I would think he's no longer much of a danger to San Fran Nan and her fellow Swamp dwellers back there in D.C. 

2.  There is no evidence.  The entire nation watched Trump's speech on TV, and nothing in it could be construed as having fomented insurrection ("We're going to walk down to the Capitol... I know that everyone here will peaceably and patriotically have your voices heard!").  Plus, the "attack" on the Capitol started before Trump's speech even ended.  And we know that it was pre-planned by anarchists on both YouTube and Facebook (not Parler!).  In fact, the Capitol Police just reported to Congress that they had hard information, in hand, on January 4th, that an assault on the Capitol Building was planned for the 6th.  Two days prior.  Was Trump an ass for having a hand in orchestrating this fustercluck?  For having issued an invitation to a million of his closest friends to join him on the Capitol Mall that day?  Hmmm, yes.  But fomenting insurrection?  No.  

So if you'll pardon the tired old cliche, it seems that Nan is once again attempting to close the old barn door after the the equine has left.  Old Nelly done gone!  The horse is nowhere in sight.  However, if she can make a man go who's already left, then perhaps there's no limit to what she can do in terms of revisionist history.  If so, here are a few things she might want to use her new-found powers to "fix," after-the-fact: 

1.     If you can undo something that's already done, Madame Speaker, like removing The Donald after he's already gone, then how about removing the iceberg from the path of the Titanic before it steams past?  No iceberg, no crash.  No crash, no wreck, no 1,500 people dead.  Good plan?

2.     If we can remove a long-gone Prezzz, why not fix that pesky seal on the Challenger space shuttle before it blasts off?

3.     Keep the Lusitania in port, Madame Nan.  No torpedo, no problem...

4.     Hey, Ms. $13-a-pint-ice-cream, why not let Mr. Lindberg know that leaving his baby at home alone that day isn't such a good idea? 

5.     General Custer maybe should now be given an opportunity to select a different place to patrol for that fateful day, doncha' think? 

6.     Hey, and speaking of Native Americans, Nan, how about we let those Indigenous Personages hang out somewhere other than at Wounded Knee?

7.     Do not ever sell O.J. a hunting knife!  Not a single one!  Not ever!

8.     And tell San Fran Nan to revoke James Dean's driver's license, while she's at it.

9.     You like abortions so much, Nan?  Demand Adolph's mom get one in advance of all that unpleasantness.      

10.   Memo to JFK:  The weather in Dallas will not be favorable for a visit anytime soon (hey, if she can revise history, why not revise the weather?).  

11.   Make it sort of important to require those learning to fly passenger jets to also learn how to land them... 

12.   Dear Herr Doctor Zepplin:  Find another gas besides hydrogen...

12.   And finally, Madame Speaker, send a note to good ol' Pharoah to let His people go...

That's all the help I'm going to offer to Nan and the Democrats right now.  Maybe more later, but that's all for now.  The tank of my helpfulness gene is hereby depleted.  In the meantime, we'll all just hide in the bushes and watch as these bozos take their new majority and throw up all over themselves in front of God and the entire world...