Is Rioting Tough?

I'm just asking for a friend.

A friend with a bad back, like mine.

He and I were commiserating with one another the other day.  We were both comparing physical ailments and illnesses and how these days today aren't like "the good old days."  You know, back when we could run and jump and skip rope and folks were peaceful and kind and considerate and followed the rule of law and spanked their kids when they screwed up and didn't double park and tipped their hat to a lady.  

When they wore hats, that is.  

Back when race was not a factor in anyone's mind except the race-baiting poverty pimps and left-wing neo-socialists who work overtime to bring down America.  And back when cops were honored for their service instead of being hunted down and murdered.  Back when going to church was legal and going to buy maryjowanna...wasn't.  Back when elected politicians still believed they worked for their constituents and actually honored their oathes of office.  

Back when setting fire to a courthouse would land you in jail...  

Now?  The Democrats have taught us that we have to riot to gain attention.  And also because rioting has become so, ummm, commonplace shall we say, it's seemingly no longer a crime.  It can't be, or else the cops that have arrested the several thousand rioters that broke jillions of laws in dozens of U.S. cities, nationwide, in more than 577 incidents over the past 3 or 4 months who have engaged in open, wanton, blatant, daily - and nightly - anarchy, would have been prosecuted.  And as you may have noticed, the total number of the arrested and prosecuted, all included, after burning and looting and rioting all over the place, including torching three horses to death in St. Louis, are less than 50.

And we should note that in New York and Taxifornia, perpetrators are quickly released and put back on the streets due to their new "no bail" laws.  Imagine that.  Anything less than murder and you're issued a ticket, a citation of all things, with instructions to appear in court some weeks down the road.  Zowwee, Batman!  We're living in Bizzarro World!

So what are Republicans to do?  Especially old Republicans?  Old Republicans with bad backs, particularly.  Like me and my buddy.  It seems that we were born and raised in the wrong era.  All this anarchy stuff was illegal back when we were contemplating extra-legal activities, and so we didn't.  We kept our noses clean and our asses out of jail, for the most part.  We did what seemed like the smart thing to do at the time; we didn't violate the law so we didn't get caught by the cops.  And if you don't get stopped by the cops, then it's unlikely the cops are going to kill you.  

Now?  You're nobody unless you've knocked over the local Macy's store!  Or ripped off a 7/11!  Or burned down a police precinct.  I mean, everybody has to riot just to keep up!    

So, being physically challenged, serious rioting is just not in the cards for my friend and me.  We just cannot riot the same way we would have as young men!  What's fair about that?  Nothing, I say!  I mean, by the time we get up in the morning, and eat our Pablum, and get dressed, and get an Uber down town, it's like Noon!  And then we have to be back to the Sizzler by 4:00 for their early evening "twilight" dining specials, so there's only about 2 or 3 decent hours available for rioting!  

Annnnnd, let's be frank here, Frank.  Likely as not, we'll be targeting the Target, and the CVS, and the Walgreens, heading straight for the Metamucil, and the Ben-Gay and the Depends.  After all, we really can't carry all that much with one hand (we need the other one for our cane!), so we have to be strategic in our choices.  And stuff like Dulcolax is expensive!  I mean, a couple of packages of that stuff and you're talking, like $50.00! 

So, a herd of us old fellas could not do all that much damage, but we'd sure like to try!  So I'd like to see some consideration given us, the older prospective anarchists.  Are we supposed to wear black?  The "Antifa" and "BLM" thugs do.  I don't think I have anything in black.  I do have a killer pair of Bermuda shorts, though.  Would they do?   How about a bus from the "home" be made available to take us to and from the riots?  That'd be nice!  In fact, I'd say it's elder abuse to refuse to allow us special rioting hours in consideration of our age and need for us to get back to the home early for our afternoon naps.  

Oh yeah, and by the way, my friend wanted me to ask, if we see anyone trying to burn the Flag, where should we put the body?

So, just asking for a friend remember, could somebody get back to me and let me know the in's and out's of effective rioting?  My buddy needs to know whether to quit his job as a Wal-Mart greeter and join the ranks of "Antifa" and "Black Lives Matter."  He says living on Social Security is almost impossible, so he needs the extra income, and it seems those rioters must be knocking down some serious scratch or they wouldn't be able to riot so much.  One good thing though, he's White, just like about 3/4's of the anarchists, so he should be able to blend right in with the mob...

In closing, I'd just like to add, we Americans are resilient.  When the going gets tough, the tough go rioting.  I guess...