Tuesday, August 30, 2016

"Anthony's Weiners"

Didja' hear about Anthony Weiner sending another of his infamous social media messages to some babe?  Yeah, this bozo really, REALLY likes to take selfies of his semi-erect trouser snake and send them to unsuspecting women who are unlucky enough to have an Instagram or Twitter account. 

He did so five years or so ago and wound up losing his Congressional House seat.  His wife, Huma Abadin, famous Muslim right-hand Tonto babe to Hil(liar)y Clinton, is, and soon it appears to be, was, Weiner's wife (say that five times really fast!).  She stuck with him through his first indiscretion, hoping, no doubt, that Anthony would find something else to do with himself.  Pun intended.

Then, a couple of years back, he again succumbed (heh, heh) to his unfortunate little predilection and sent off another shot of his turgid lap rocket to some unnamed babe. He did so under the pseudonym of "Carlos Danger," presuming, I would guess, that no one would recognize him.  

Let's see here. He was a Congressman in the most heavily populated place in the Nation and had his famous nose of, shall we say, gargantuan proportions, plastered all over the media for months and didn't think anyone would recognize him and his gigante burrito?  This boy is a special kind of dumbass!  

Anyway, caused all kinds of hell, it did.  Huma, possibly because Tony was then running for Mayor of New York City (really?), decided to once again brush off his hobby and stick around.  Tony lost his bid to get past the primaries and wound up on the ash heap of ex-Mayoral candidates.  No Gracie Mansion for him.  

And by the by, it's worth noting that the ultimate winner of that contest for Mayor was one Big Bill De Blasio.  Billy Boy, as you may know, is six foot-eight or -nine - or ten all-out proud communist who proved as much by honeymooning with his new Black, 4 foot-tall communist activist and poet wife Charlane in Cuba.  Oh, and yeah, be formally backed the Nicaraguan Sandinistas. At least he was consistent in his politics. Consistently wrong, I would opine.

And his primary platform position for Mayor was to eradicate "stop and frisk," which made the City safe after years of being the "murder capital," improving relations with the NYPD, at which he has failed miserably, and getting rid of all those nasty smelly horses who pull those delightful white hansom cab carriages around Central Park. Been a disaster as Mayor, has this bozo.  Crime is up, tourism is down, taxes are up, services are down...and the horses are still thrilling crowds around Central Park.  Cops hate this guy. Rightfully so.

Back to the main story... 

Oh, by the way.  By then Anthony's weiner had produced another little Weiner.  And so, he and Huma had a little boy to think about.  Maybe he should have thought about that little Weiner instead of the other weiner...

And now, five years, later, VOILA!  Anthony Weiner takes another selfie sitting on his bed, in his BVDs, with his little boy by his side, and his famous tan banana barely sheathed. And he sends the selfie off once again to some woman with whom he had been conducting an Internet back-and-forth for over 14 months.  Made the cover of the New York Daily Post yesterday, it did. Caused quite and uproar.  I don't know about you, but I would be kind of embarrassed by something like this. But then again, I wouldn't have done it.  Anthony's not beset by a big helping of common sense, it seems.

So, his wife, Huma, published a tearful twitter message (how does one get all tearful on twitter?) about how upsetting this all was and stated that she and Tony were separating. She immediately took off her wedding ring and got back to the main business at hand of getting infamous serial liar and socialist multi-millionaire Hil(liar)y Rodham Clinton elected to POTUS.  

So, ever on the lookout for a new business opportunity, I got to thinking.  How about some of us get together and buy a bunch of hot dog carts.  Maybe 15 or 20.  They cost maybe $5,000 each, so you do the math.  And we name them "Anthony's Weiners." Get it?  Heh, heh.  And under the sign with the name on it we put a picture of good ol' Tony in a Lone Ranger (Carlos Danger) mask with one of our new hot dogs in his, ahem, other hand, with the caption:  "Picture this!"  Like it?  I just new you would.

Of course, in addition to the $100,000 or so we'd need for the carts, we'd need, say, another $1 Million to grease the skids. You know, polish the palms of the Street Vendor Commission, and the Manhattan Burrough President, and the Mayor's office, and the Parks and Recreation Commission, and the Food and Beverage Commission, and the Street Cleaners and Curb Polishers International, and the Union of Professional Graft Takers, etc., etc.,etc.  I mean, we know this works!  The Donald had to pay Hil(liar)y Clinton and hubby Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" $One Hundred Thousand Dollars to induce them to attend his daughter's wedding.  

Worked for him, and them.  Could work for us...

So, if you're interested, get in touch and we'll put a marketing plan to together and start raising the cash necessary to do business in the new Peoples' Republic of New York City.  I think we should start by sending off a substantial contribution to Billy "Big Bird" De Blasio's reelection campaign.

Whaddaya' think?

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