So just between you'n me...
Everybody out there in ChuckmeisterLand with a Prime or an Amazon membership, or both; and have a cat or a dog, or both;* listen up. Here's a way you can have a hand in eliminating at least one form of crime.
I've just read that "Porch Pirates," those who rip off our boxes and parcels from our front porches, are stealing some $3,000,000,000 (with a "B") worth of stuff from us every year. And nothing, even Ring cameras, have stopped them so far.
So I have this idea, see? I want you to save all your Amazon and Prime boxes. The ones they used to send you the stuff that winds up on your doorstep. So now instead of throwing them away, simply dump your cat box full of gnarly clumped pee and poo, and the dog turds you pick up from your lawn, and put them in those boxes. Then seal them up and put them back on your porch. And then enjoy those Ring camera videos capturing neighborhood thieves as they steal your "gifts." As you sit around the fireplace. Toasting your tootsies. Just thinking about how surprised those Porch Pirates were when they opened their booty. And wondering if this is the time when they found Jesus and promised to repent.
If you and everyone you send this humble missive to were to decide to take up this mantle, this form of crime would surely end. Just remember: Criminals may be foolish, but they're not stupid. You can help them decide to stop!
Make this idea go viral!
* Maybe a horse?
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