It Could Always Be Worse...

I learned a long time ago why some folks watch TV soap operas.

It's because their lives suck and they want to witness those who have it worse off.  No matter even if you're living in a motel with 4 kids, those TV soapers' lives suck even worse.  I know all that from years of professional pool hustling, years of professional psychology training, and years of professional sales.  Helping those to see the value in buying what I happened to be selling.  

With a smile.  

In other words, I think I know how all you folks whose lives have been put in the dumper by Joe O'Biden and his ilk can learn to smile again.  By learning about those whose lives suck even more pitifully than yours.  And I'm bringing it to you commercial free.  It's the Chuckmeister's gift to you, my Fellow Patriots.  And here goes...

You could be living in Oakland!

Yes, Oakland.  100 years ago it was where those poor San Francisco souls hoped to one day live.  To move there and rub elbows with the uber-rich.  In fact, the largest home in the entire area was on a hilltop in Oakland.  

More recently it's featured the Baseball A's, and the Basketball Warriors, and the Football Raiders,   And lots and lots of small and large businesses.  Bringing in $Tens of Millions of Dollars of tourist revenue annually. 

And although industrialized, and smelly, and now filled with crappy sand-colored buildings, I even chose to buy a chunk of the Oakland Convention Center back in 1980.  To avoid the ruinous taxes Jimmuh Carter imposed upon us.  And even though my purchase was heavily leveraged, I was able to write off a majority of my income taxes as a result.  I even knew a guy who bought a jojoba bean farm and an unreleased Willie Nelson record for the same reason.*

That was several decades ago.  Decades in which Oakland has deteriorated alarmingly!  Increasing taxes imposed by both the State and the City have forced out businesses.  Which has opened the door to increased crime.  The city council of Oakland through its rules and regs and policies and procedures has permitted all this to occur.  Which has created a "death loop" from which it may never recover. 

Want to feel better about yourself?  Your place of residence?  The crime rate around where you live?  Your chances of making it home when you leave for work in the morning?  Take a look at this:

The following Oakland businesses have already left, or have given notice they're leaving:

     -  The only In-N-Out in Oakland closed its door last January, because their employees were afraid to come to work.

     -  The only Denny's in Oakland closed the same month after 54 years in operation.  Same reason.

     -  The Clorox Corporation has given its 792 employees notice it's headed for the exits.  Same reason, plus  a "deteriorating business environment."  Until relocation, security guards will escort employees to and from the parking lots, garages, restaurants and coffee shops.

     -  Two Starbucks closed in 2023 because of car break-ins.

     -  A Subway on 98th avenue closed due to crime.

     -  The famous Black Bear Diner closed.  Same reason.

     -  Three Taco Bells closed their dining rooms permanently, and are available drive-thru only.

      -  A Raising Cane's closed its dining room.  Drive-thru only now.

     -  The Silverado Contractors moved from Oakland due to crime.

     -  Kaiser has alerted its employees not to leave the building for lunch due to crime.  And employees are to be escorted to and from the parking lots.

     -  Blue Shield now offers free rideshares for its employees to and from work.

     -  Wal-Mart has ceased negotiations to build its first store in Oakland. 

     -  Three Family Dollar Stores have closed in Oakland.  So far.  It's planning to close 670 stores this year.

     -  3 Rite-Aid Stores have closed.  So far.  Same reason.  Later declared bankruptcy.

     -  2 CVS Stores have closed in Oakland.  Rampant shoplifting, armed robbery, car break-ins and muggings.

     -  3 Walgreens have closed.  There is a rumor going around that it may be going out of business do to its heavy concentration of stores in California.  Where retail stores are go to die.

     -  A Party City Store closed in Oakland.  Nobody's throwing parties in Oakland.  And then Party City declared bankruptcy.  See a trend here?

     -  And then there are the sports teams:

        -  The Oakland A's will relocate to Las Vegas, becoming the "Las Vegas Athletics."  Taking with them the hearts and minds of baseball fanatics who love their Team.  Been there for 100 years.  Run out by BoyGuv and "woke" politics.  Having a brand spanking new $1.5 Billion Dollar stadium built for them in Vegas.

        -  The Golden State Warriors.  Soon to move back across the Bay and make San Franpoopco their home.  If a Team leaves Oakland to move to a cesspoool, that should tell you everything you need to know. 

       -  And the storied Oakland Raiders have left Oakland and are playing in a brand new stadium in Las Vegas.  This will mark the 6th move for the Raiders.  From Oakland to Lost Angeles, back to Oakland, back to Lost Angeles, back to Oakland, then on to Vegas.  May move to London if the owner's paid enough. 

     -  There are now 15 major intersections in Oakland with 4-way stops.  That's because the thieves have stolen the stoplights and stripped out their copper wires.  And sold them to local (corrupt) scrap dealers.  Five times.  No more, says the city council.  Just good ol' stop signs.  Seems that Oakland has devolved into the Wild West.   

     -  Oh yeah, and the nearly 200,000 citizens who have moved from Oakland to anywhere else listed Quality of Life issues (49%), taxes (37%), homelessness (28%), and the political environment (28%) as reasons why they bolted.  Annnnd, the crime rate is up 40%, BTW.  Which has a lot to do with the foregoing.

And so, my friends, just remember, it could always be worse.  You could live in Oakland.  And have to drive to another city to get your prescriptions filled.  And dodge bullets both to and from... 

*   The IRS came a'calling for my tax-dodging buddy.  Proving it's better to hide in the weeds than to wear orange and stand out in the crowd.  He went bankrupt trying to pay the $500,000 fine.  And it's tough to get a job when you're saddled with 4 years of probation...