It's That TIme Again!

It's time to make all those New Years Resolutions, Fellow Patriots!

It's time to make promises to yourself (and perhaps others) to do things in the New Year you could have done in the Old Year.  And would have, if you'd have really given a sh*t.  Deep down.

Right?

So how about making some resolutions you might really embrace?  And feel good about taking them?  None of that, "Lose 15 pounds" crap.  You can make up your own, but I have a few suggestions to aid you in your efforts:

     -  Never send your Little Darlings off to a $30,000 or $50,000 or $90,000 a year college or university again.  They're most likely not old enough or smart enough to make full use of it, they really don't need to learn about Medieval Lesbian Poetry, and it will only serve to make them fat and lazy, and you poor(er).

     -  Resolve to send them off to a tour of duty with your favorite Armed Forces.  The Army was my choice, but you/they can choose any of the others.  They'll grow up while serving something greater than themselves.  And be able to use the G.I. Bill to pay for school.  So you and your Mate can buy a camper and tour the U. S. of A.  Instead of having to work as a Greeter at the local Wal-Mart.  

(And no, they won't die in combat.  Especially if you choose the Air Force, the Navy or the Space Force.  A hangnail is about the worst they'll face.  And they'll eat better than you will.  So there.  The good news is they'll come home all growed up, tough as nails and ready to face life.  With a smile.)

     -  Resolve to never, ever buy Coke, or Pepsi, or Seven-Up, or any bottled or canned soft drinks again.  They're heavy, expensive and you're buying mostly water.  Buy Crystal Light and add your own water.  And save 80%.  And your back.

     -  Resolve to never, ever buy a new car again.  They've increased in price 70% in the past ten years.  The average new car price is $49,765.  Average.  Plus your payment will be near $four figures because of inflationary O'Biden interest rates.  Buy a car that's just come off lease, whether 3, 4, or 5 years, and save $half!  And you can easily utilize the remaining new car warranty, or purchase one to extend the warranty (but not from the dealership!  They'll rob you blind.).  All the bugs will be worked out of the car, it will still look good, and you'll save a fortune!

Oh yeah, don't buy or lease a Plug-In Electric car.  They cost twice as much, their insurance rates are often double, they chew up tires in only a few thousand miles, they'll give you "range anxiety," you'll lose up to 30% of their charge in either cold or hot weather, they'll have crappy resale values, and just might roast you in a fiery Hell due to Spontaneous Combustion!

     -  Resolve to never, ever be late for an appointment again.  I was a professional salesman and was never, ever late for an appointment.  That was a Resolution I made...and kept.  You can too.  Resolve to value the other person's time as if if was yours.  It will pay off in manifold ways...  

     -  If you STILL haven't bought a firearm, due to some misplaced inability to drop some perp like a bad habit, Resolve to at least buy a BYRNA.  They look like pistols, but shoot pepper balls and will incapacitate the prospective criminal in a heartbeat.  And then you can stomp on his neck a couple of times while you're waiting for the fuzz.  They cost a mere $350.00 or so, and you can go jogging feeling well protected.  

Or, like 99.99% of all your friends and neighbors who'll make useless Resolutions, they'll gain 15 pounds, they'll stay with the same crappy job, and they still won't learn Spanish.  

Happy New Year, Fellow Patriots!