Masks, Part Drei...

Pardon my bloggishness, but I just had to add this tiny bit of useless pabulum to my last full-throated screed against masks.  I had intended that one to be my last (beating a dead horse, and all that), but the scrawny old coot in the White House made an additional commentary necessary.

Are you beginning to get it, Mr. and Mrs. America?  Are you beginning to understand that those on the Left who had enormous power dumped into their laps over pandemic abatement are understandably hesitant to now give it up?  They LIKE being in charge!  Even though they couldn't pour piss out of a boot, they're magically in charge, and they're not giving it up!  They want all their little minions to be dutifully masked and quiet and all respectful like.  They want them back in masks.  

Rat now!

The O'Biden Administration has just issued, as you no doubt know, another of its little Executive Orders.  This one requires you to do something you were told you would never have to do.  And by the same guy.  Promised, in fact.  As if that matters any more.  You've been told you must wear your ineffective little plastic masks again.  Indoors.  While undertaking certain tasks and in the presence of certain people.  Uuuuber confusing!!!

Apparently there was some non peer-reviewed medical study out of India that indicated an increased spread of the new (and improved) Delta Variant from previously vaccinated people.  Since it wasn't peer reviewed, we don't know whether or not the conclusions it reaches are meaningful.  Nor are they likely to be global in reach, even if reproducible.  So, the study is trash.  It's useless.  Except to those looking for a reason to reimpose a mask mandate.    

In other words, being vaccinated is no longer insurance against either getting the bug, or transmitting it.  Except I emphasize again, the study was not peer-reviewed.  That means it's just some guy's opinion, valuable or not.  But that opinion was valuable enough to Joe O'Biden's now highly-politicized CDC that he went back on his word and re-imposed the mask mandate.  Once again unnecessarily complicating our useless, plebian little lives.  

But for whom, and when, and where?  Well, I have the answer.  And here it is:

New Guidance will shortly be, you must wear now wear your mask outdoors or in.  In other words, always.  From the time you get up in the morning, until you go to bed at night.  Got it?  It's really that simple.  They cannot get more intrusive and ridiculous that this, so this is likely where they'll wind up...

And BTW, they do not care if this imposes on your freedoms.  Freedoms?  You have no more stinkin' freedoms!  Just obey.  

NOTE:  It used to be "Mask on, mask off."  Now it's "Mask on, mask on."

The "Balkanization" of America...

Ever hear of "Sarajevo?"  

That was the scenic locale for the 1968 Winter Olympics.  A bucolic, winter wonderland of hills and valleys, ski slopes and ski lodges, replete with smiling tourists and toned athletes, all living out a lie in front of the entire world.

What's that you sayin' there, Mr. Chuckmeister?  Okay, fellow Patriot, I'll tell you.  The minute the Soviet Union fell, which would be the day after Christmas, 1991, I believe, the Bosnians and the Herzegovinians and the rest of that Balkan crowd all around Sarajevo, which was the capitol of "Yugoslavia," the name the commies gave it at the time, started shooting each other once again.  Just as they'd been doing for more than 1,000 years.  And the only thing that stopped them from doing so was when the Soviets threatened to kill them all first.  

Religion, doncha' know.  Muslims and Christians don't get along so good together.  Haven't in the longest time.  The Soviets kept them from killing each other while it was in charge by using heavy tanks and rockets and oodles of soldiers and threats of death.  Until it ran out of gas.  literally and figuratively.  And once it did, the "Hatfields and McCoys" there started up once again.

Sort of like what's happening now in Afghanistan.  And what happened in Viet Nam in 1975.  Got it?  

Need a reminder of who all was involved?  Yugoslavia was a "construct" put together by the Soviets, consisting of the previously-independent nations of Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovinia.  All mumbling to themselves, "My enemy's enemy is my friend."  Or something like that...   

America is quickly being a modern-day Sarajevo.  Many of our states are openly talking about secession.  In a recent national poll fully 61% of us said we'd positively considered voting for secession as a substitute to our current situation.  

And what's that situation, you might ask?  Not if you're a regular reader, you wouldn't.  Just if you happened to drop in from the Clinton New Network or MSPMS?  Well, for one thing, our Federal Government has abandoned our southern border states, leaving any immigration enforcement action to the impacted states themselves.  The Federal Government is not enforcing our immigration laws!  They are breaking the law by not enforcing the law!  They are making a habit of looking the other way whilst more than 1,200,000 illegal aliens have illegally crossed so far this year!  

And that why 11 of our states have begun sending their National Guard and State Police to Texas to aid with its self-defense enforcement efforts.  In fact, Texas has promised to finish Trump's Wall, even as it sits unfinished in the harsh Texas sun.  And we're paying $Millions in fines to those who should be building it.

(Late news yesterday tells us O'Biden has incurred more than $2 Billion Dollars in fines and leasing fees so far NOT building the Wall!)  

TX Gov. Greg Abbott has started a GoFundMe site to help raise money for this project, believing he'll need perhaps $250 Million.  And I predict it will be impossible for our so-called "MainStreamMedia" to ignore such an action once it begins.    

However much they'd like to.  And have tried desperately up 'til now...

Perhaps America should look more like Europe.  Did you know there are 27 different countries in what we euphemistically call "Europe?"  And that the "Europe" we're talking about is about the size of Texas?  Did you know all that?  Well I'm here to tell you that there's room for at least 27 separate countries here in America.  After all, we have 50 states.  And each operates, per our Constitution, as an independent "country."  And maybe it's time they started staking their claim on the "New America:"  The Box the new Countries are going to come in.

When you consider there's only about 582,000 people in all of Wyoming, for example, and O'Biden's already illegally imported twenty times that number just this year, it's important to get a move on.  He or his handlers are dead-set on changing America's electorate, one illegal alien at a time.  They've so screwed the pooch that Americans will no longer buy into their failed Democrat programs.  So I think they think all these new illegals will vote Democrat.  So this is a good way not only to rejigger their own electorate, but to also expunge American soil of those pesky Conservatives at the same time.  

So I say everyone knows Spain has nothing in common with the Netherlands.  In fact, they've been seafaring competitors for hundreds of years.  So why should they be in the same country?  They shouldn't!  And aren't!

So why should Texas be in the same country as Massassacchuussettss?  Or Oregon?  Or Taxifornia?  It shouldn't.  Nor does Florida have anything in common with New York.  Except successfully raiding its population, of course.  So it just might be time to "unleash" our respective states from the "yoke" of the Constitution.  Perhaps they can do better individually, competing with one another for citizens, and for tax money.  Sort of like the city-states of ancient Greece.  Prepare yourself for the New America! 

Spartacus, where are you when we need you?

My evidence?  Florida has sent 500 Highway Patrolmen to Texas to aid with their Border enforcement efforts.  Kristy Noem of So. Dakota is sending 50 National Guardsmen.  Florida is sending 500 Guardsmen.  Can you see a new "Coalition of the Willing" gearing up here?  In 21 of our states you can buy and carry a firearm today, without any further license than the 27 words in the 2nd Amendment.  And yet, in 21 of our states you'd do hard prison time if you got caught with an unregistered firearm, concealed or not.  Florida's Disneyland has never closed.  California's Disneyland just opened.  For the first time in 15 months.  

And all the while not a word of any of this appearing in your daily news?  Not a word on CNN(LOL) or MSPMS or NPR or PBS or CBS/NBC/ABC.  Crickets.  200,000 illegal aliens pouring across our southern border each and every month, and "our" MSMedia is depriving us of that information.  

Take a look at a map of the United States.  Imagine what it might look like if our States were permitted to bind together with like-minded others?  Imagine what it might look like if the original 13 Colonies were to return as a voting bloc?  And if the South were to rise again?  Every state south of the Mason-Dixon Line returns to Southern, Constitution-loving values.  Imagine if the plains and mountain states were to declare themselves independent from those who think they're inbred, toothless, racist rubes.  Those same folks who eat their food.  And drive their cars.  Up to now, at least. 

Imagine if California were to break into 3 or 4 or even 5 separate states, each aligning with a simpatico neighbor.

I could go on and on.  And so could you.  Let your imagination wander.  You could go to sleep and wake up a short time in the future being asked for your passport to drive from Tennessee to Pennsylvania.  Or Kansas to Colorado.  Or Idaho to Oregon.  If you and I desire for these here United States to remain "united," we've got some work to do.  Europe hasn't done real well over the eons as a bunch of independent countries, and neither would we...

"Masks Suck," Part Deux...

You'll recall, fondly I trust, my posting from a year or so ago, entitled, 

                 "Masks Suck!"

In it I outlined all the reasons why wearing the flimsy little plastic masks we've all hidden our faces behind for more than a year do not deserve to be worn.  For the simplest of reasons.  They do not work.

Got it?  They don't work.  If to "work" means, keep out the bad little viruses which will infect us, ummm, almost none of the time.*    

However it seems those on the Looney Left have discovered they've lost their control over our lives since the incidence of Chinese Wuhan Killer Coronavirus has been subsiding.  They've looked around and discovered they need something to happen to once again regain mastery.  And in the absence of an asteroid strike, the very best they could do was a subsiding pandemic...  

In other words, if they can make you wear your mask, they've demonstrated their control over your plebian, worthless little lives.  And all they had to do was come up with a "Delta variant," and we all folded like a cheap tent, didn't we?  Can't you just see it?  A bunch of Democrat Party insiders meeting in a Cincinnati basement to come up with the excuse they'll need to once again reimpose mask mandates.  Yeah, that's it!  The "Delta Variant!"  Sounds absolutely Orwellian!!!

In other, other words, masks are the "MAGA" hats of the Looney Left.  Trump had his "MAGA" hats, O'Biden has his masks.  They just won't stop stamping their little Gucci-clad feet until you put your mask back on and submit to their control...

There.  That's a good boy...

Here's a few facts for your reading enjoyment (skip this paragraph if you aren't into numbers):  Your average, run-of-the-mill bacteria measures about 0.4 micron in size (a micron is one millionth of a meter).  A virus, on-the-other-hand (just love hyphenations!), measures about 0.02 to 0.25 microns (some eat more than others).  Just a casual glance at these two numbers would tell you that bacteria are mucho bigger than viruses.  Think the Incredible Hulk in a cage match vs. a Pomeranian.  And bacteria are all that these flimsy little, throw-away masks are supposed to keep out.  

Which we tend not to throw away.

So viruses are submicron in size. The SARS-CoV-2 Virus, for example, measures 100 nm (nanomicron = 1,000 of a micron; "Nano Nano!"  Exsqueeze me.  I couldn't help myself!).  A CO2 molecule, for example, measures 0.33 nm.  When we speak we produce and emit droplets of between 20 and 2,000 microns.  And remember, a micron is 1,000 x larger than a nanomicron. 

Do these numbers make your eyes go out of focus?  Think of it this way; if the holes in your mask are large enough to let you breathe, they're large enough for viruses to stop by for a visit, set up camp and pitch their tents.    

Need more?  

The holes in your funny little masks are big enough for 200 viruses to hold hands and march sideways, through each of them.   

Yet, we're required to wear these infernal masks.  Why?  They say for "safety."  Used to be you had to get vaccinated to protect you against the Virus.  Now you have to get vaccinated to protect those who haven't yet been vaccinated.  I say, it's so they can exert control over our puny lives, once again.  The CDC says, "Don't wear your mask!"  Your local government says, "Put on that mask!"   

Trust in Government anymore, much? 

*   You might not know that I possess more than 10 years' experience in infectious diseases, virology and epidemiology, with an emphasis in the use of combination antimicrobial therapy for serious system infections.  

An Anthem For All!!!

Just read that as a part of the NFL's recent commitment to racial equity and equality, which they think are the same thing, they will permit the playing of the so-called "Black National Anthem" at each game this fall.  And that would be "Lift Ev-Ry Voice And Sing," a hymn written as a poem, later put to music and adopted by Black slaves as a protest anthem.

And which I personally never heard of until a couple of years back.  But hey, I sometimes miss stuff.  I also never heard of "Juneteenth" until recently, either.  Must be me...

Anyway, that brings up a potential problem.  If we're throwing a bone to Blacks in an effort to assuage their feelings, what about Asians?  Yeah, I know there are damn few of them in the NFL, what with more than 68% of its players being Black.  And that's ANOTHER issue we should be talking about!  Proving just how lame the Asian lobbying effort has been, as you can see they still don't have their own anthem.  But there's a few of them, and we should give them their own.  Equity, doncha' know.  

But since I can't think of a popular Asian song, I was thinking of maybe penning one myself.  How about, "Everybody got 1,600 on their SAT's but me!"  Set this to a roadhouse, sort of bluesy little lilt with a steel guitar twang behind it.  What do you think?  Think they'd like it?  Or, perhaps "That track needed layin,' and so did I!"  And then there's, "We're People of Color, Just the Wrong Color!"  Quit while I'm ahead?  Okay...

And the Red folks, too.  Gotta' consider them in all of this.  Even if they don't want it.  I'd bet there's a couple of dozen Native Americans playing in the NFL today, and they need their own anthem.  How about "The Lone Ranger Was Really MY Sidekick!"  Or maybe, "Me know "How," me need chance!"  Too cheesy?  Oh well, we'll keep working on that one...

But in the meantime, we've got some equity to consider here.  And everybody gets his or her (or its) own anthem.  Starting today.  Including any Gypsies.  And the Inuits.  And the Javanese.  And everybody from Burkina-Faso.  And each of them must be played before the kickoff.  In 4/4 time.  

I wonder if they'll be any time left to play the game?  I wonder if there will be any fans left after all this silliness has subsided?

Need Some Non-Racist Names?

Didja hear?

Dan Snyder, the owner of the Washington, ummm, "Football Team," has just announced he's ready, sort of, to more or less announce the new name of his woebegone football team.

Kind of.

He had to rename it, doncha' know, because its name is, ummm, well sort of racist.  We're told.  He's been told.  By classic bleeding heart Libbies who mourn for those who are too far gone to mourn for themselves.  Even from the likes of Fred Smith, the Chairman of FedEx, his Team's Stadium's title sponsor.  At the rate of $20 Million Dollars per year.  "So change it," Fred's ordered Dan.  Imagine: being a $Billionaire and being ordered around by a bunch of pantywaist pukes who have a deep-seated need to tell other people what they can do with their own...LEGAL...property.  Did I mention it is legal?  

Better him than me...

The name "Redskins" wasn't racist 80 years ago when the Team was named, or 50 years ago, or 30 years ago, even, but it is now.  Because we live in this hyper-politicized society.  Where everybody is a racist even if they don't know it themselves.  Especially if they are White!  And somebody somewhere might have been "triggered" by the continued use of the name "Redskins."  Except the real "Redskins," of course, who have all voted they have no problemo with the name.  Nope, our Native American Red Man doesn't seem to care about being called a Redskin.  More than half (54%) thought it was a complement, asamattaofact...

So being the helpful type, as I always am, I thought I'd dedicate a few brain cells in the furtherance of helping Good Ol' Dan find a new name.  Gotta' keep those Capitol City panderers happy now, don't we?  Here's a few names, Dan.  Hope you find them helpful...

  -  Washington Carjackers

  -  Washington Killers

  -  Washington Felons

  -  Washington Politicians

  -  Washington "Blacks"*

  -  Washington Grifters

  -  Washington Pandemics

  -  Washington "BLM's"

  -  Washington Looters

  -  Washington Plunderers

  -  "Swamp City" Sinners

  -  Washington Thieves

  -  Washington Pick-Pockets

  -  Washington Homeless

  -  Washington Purse-Snatchers 

And finally, the one that gets my vote:

  -  "Capitol City Commies"

If you have any better suggestions, send them along.  I think Dan could use all the help he can get...

*  You think the name "Blacks" would be inappropriate?  How about the Cleveland Browns??? 

Assigning Blame...

It's important to know how, and why, our Ship of State hit the proverbial rocks.  How our National Train ran off the tracks.  How the plane in which we were all flying ran out of altitude and proved that "Gravity Sucks."  For it surely did, fellow Pilgrim.  It crashed.  And is still burning...

Yes, fellow Pilgrims, it's important to know why things go awry (luv that wurd!).  Such as in the past year or so.  When things have gone bat-sh*t nuts.  Uddered in the vernacular, doncha' know...

That's why I've assiduously (luvthatwurdtoo!) vacuumed up all relevant data from the good ol' Internet over the past year or so in an effort to assign blame and/or guilt for the many and varied ills which have befallen our once-vibrant, but now stultified (also a reeely good wurd!  You taking notes?), society, whilst it's been a'fading.  That's olde-tymie writing, doncha' know...

So, knowing full well where the blame must in all cases be placed, in almost every single situation before we even begin to commence (wink! wink!), here's my list of major problems and exactly who(m) to blame.  Ready?  Begin...

     -  Noise from cicadas:  Answer:  Trump.  They popped up just after he left, right?  Obama didn't cause them!  O'Biden didn't cause them!  Cause and effect, baby!  The scientific principle!  It was Trump!

     -  The Chinese Killer Wuhan Coronavirus (COVID-19):  Answer:  Trump.  If he hadn't mistreated poor Dictator Xi over pork products and grain imports, Xi/he wouldn't have released the germ, right?  Trump forced him to sign the agreement on January 6th, 2020, and Xi/he released the virus the very next day.  Look it up!  I kid thee not.  Cause and effect, once again!  Trump, it is!

     -  Systemic/Institutional/Everywhere-You-Look Racism:  Answer:  Republicans and Conservatives in general, and Trump in particular.  Everyone knows that Democrats and Liberals and "Progressives" just luuuuv Black and Brown and Red and Yellow people (cough!, cough!), and that they are kept as official Party "pets."  And that Republicans and Conservatives are all racist.  MSNBC said so.  And CNN did too.  And half our Country hangs on their every word.  Amazingly...  

     -  Global Warming/Climate Change/Climate Crisis/Climate Chaos/Climate Whatever:  Answer:  People who fly around all willy nilly on private planes and drive cars that use those awful petroleum products, we're told.  Oh yeah, and Trump, because he wasn't doing anything else while in office, besides playing golf, of course, and so he could have fixed this.  While he had the chance.  

Annnd, he has a 757.  Which spews all that nasty carbon.  Awful!  

     -  Mass Shootings:  Answer:  We all know who's responsible when a poor, disaffected, pimply-faced White person picks up an "assault weapon" and uses it to murder numerous innocent people.  Is it Trump?  Nooooo!!!  It's the gun!!!  Everybody knows that guns wake up in the morning, wash their little steely faces (probably with steel wool!), load themselves up with armor-piercing ammunition, and then go out looking for some innocent, pre-pubescent little (Black/Brown) schoolgirl to mow down in a hail of bullets.  But then again, Trump's responsible, too.  Because he should have outlawed them when he had the chance.  

And his sons hunt lions.  In Africa.  For shame...  

     -  The "Heartbreak" of Psoriasis:  Answer:  Trump, once again.  This is an "olde-tymie" disease, which you might not have heard about, but us old folks have, even if you other folks haven't, and don't even care.  So I asked a doctor the other day about it and he told me.  Who am I to argue?

     -  Drowning Polar Bears:  AlGore told us, with a straight face (his face was always straight), that Polar bears will drown if we don't throw $Trillions at "fixing" "Global Warming."  Whatever that is.  Of course, the zoologists tell us that Polar bears can swim for 60 miles, without a lunch break, so the eco-warriors are full of fecal matter once again.  Trump's in the clear!  No Blame Assigned!

     -  Our Impending Drought:  You know we're gonna' have one, we always do!  And it's Trump, of course, because he's against "Global Warming," and we all know that "Global Warming" causes drought.  We all know that, right?  It always has, right?  So, ergo, Trump's responsible for the drought.  Cause and effect!  Scientific principles, baby!  Got it?

There's lots of other stuff Trump's responsible for, but I've run out of both room and your patience.  So I'll bow out gracefully now, but I'll be back to you before you know it with a whole bunch of other new and exciting stuff!  Annnnd, as they say, be sure to have a nice day!

Happy Juneteenth!

What's "Juneteenth," you might ask?  The Short Answer:  That was the day Republicans and the Union Army freed the remaining slaves from their Democrat slave holders in Galveston, Texas.  

That's all you need to know.  Got it?  Okay.  Go on back to whatever you were doing.  Oh, you want more?  Okay, here goes...      

Then-POTUS D. J. Trump proposed the passage of "Juneteenth" as a Federal Holiday more than two years ago.  The GOP was behind him.  The Congress chose to do nothing.  At all...

Couldn't give The Donald a win, now could they?

As you've obviously heard by now (how could you not?), "Juneteenth," the legislation, was drafted, finalized, discussed in Committee, passed out on a unanimous voice vote, and then voted on...by both houses of Congress...in just...two days, where it received a 98 - 0 vote.  

Lemme' say that again.  Every.  Senator.  Voted.  For.  It.  Including every single Republican.  I'd call that bi-partisan. 

I'd also call that proof-positive that our Great Country needs no further discussion about race relations.  We're doing just fine, thank you, and this vote, on this legislation, proved it.

Some background.  "Juneteenth" is our newest Federal Holiday, memorializing the day the Black folks in the Deep South of Galveston, Texas, finally learned that they'd been released from the chains of slavery.  We believe it was somewhere around June 16th.  Of course, that burden had actually been lifted from them two and one-half years earlier by President Abraham Lincoln, via his "Emancipation Proclamation."  But the Democrats who were running things down there, and by the way, that's the folks who were actually running things down there, KKK and all that, decided to keep the news from their slaves.  They screwed them once again.  They worked them another two-plus years, illegally and immorally, after they'd been emancipated, freed, cheating them once again out of their freedom.  

And because they did, so successfully, we all get rewarded with a paid Federal Holiday!

BTW, we now have 12 Federal Holidays, totaling approximately 4 and 1/2% of the entire annual work-year.  That's 4 1/2%.  That's quite a lot, I'd say.  You?  And the last one was "Martin Luther King, Jr.-Day," BTW, so let's drop the "systemic racism" bullsh*t, shall we?  

Oh yeah, and before the dust could settle on this accomplishment, certain "Black leaders" were calling for reparations.  Oh yeah, and some of them even called for the creation of an entirely new National Flag!  Anything else?

Yeah, a former Ms. America, a BLACK woman, sang the "Black National Anthem" on TV the other night.  On PBS, during their annual 4th of July special.  Firstly, when, might I ask, could we expect the "Brown" national anthem?  The one for all those "Brown" people running around without one?  And then there's the "Yellow" national anthem, too.  Stupid, right?  

Just remember, that's PBS, an outfit we pay for in our taxes.  Preaching to us about race relations and freedom, they are.  Makes one want to hurl...  

In closing, I'm pleased we can finally get the truth out about how those poor Black slaves in Galveston were lied to for so very long by their Democrat masters.  And freed by their Republican saviors.  It's a shame it took so long.  But hey, politics, you know...

America Didn't Import Slaves!

Grab a beer or a glass of wine and get comfy.  A bit longer than my usual long-ish diatribes, but here's a few things you should already know, and if you don't, 'tis worth your time to find out:

People imported slaves!  Individual people!  Farmers!  Plantation owners!  Not our Country!  Because our Country hadn't been born yet!  More than 150 years of slave importation occurred before there was an America.  Got it?

Exqueeze me, I have to catch my breath.  I got a bit carried away there.  So lemme' calm down and bring it to you the way your Scribe Without Portfolio always has; straight down the middle, with a slight tilt to the right.  So here goes...

The Central Focus of so-called "Critical Race Theory," I'm told, is that America began when the first Black slave's foot touched North America.  That was in 1619, we're informed.

Often.  Waaaay too often...  

In other words, the authors of this "Theory" tell us America didn't exist until a slave arrived.  Self important, much?

They tell us not to believe that America started the day its Founding Fathers declared independence from an authoritarian foreign power.  A Declaration that united 13 disparate Colonies into one United Country.  In the North.  Up there.  Not down there in Plantation-land.  

The difference between the two is about 150 years (and about a thousand miles).  From 1619 to 1776.  And the proof the "CRT" folks provide us that America was, and is, racist, is that we fought the Civil War to preserve slavery.  That's patent hors*it, of course, but hey, lying pays pretty well.  Just ask the should-be and hopefully will-be red-headed felon who wrote it.  And who's making millions promoting it.  

Some people used to make money promoting phrenology, too, and I'd say the two have a lot in common...

Those who were never adequately educated in the finer points of history, like when America began, for instance, cannot really be expected to know they're having smoke blown up their collective arses, now can they?  We're witnessing proof of that unfold every day on our TV screens...     

So, just to disabuse anyone of any false assumptions or beliefs about America, what it was, and is, I'm offering up this little personal treatise.  The very best of what I know.  Read up, America, and learn:

                              ///  ++  \\\

I was taught in school that even before there was an America, southern cotton farmers imported about 1.7 Million African slaves.  They did, we didn't.  And then used them and abused them unmercifully.  Beat them and savaged them and raped them and worked them.  And those in the South wished to maintain slavery even though the North later threatened them with War if they did.  After their WAS an America!  It was their economy and they'd fight to maintain it, they said.  And War resulted.  And more than 620,000 of our young men, from both the North and the South, died defending their particular points of view.  320,000 Southerners died attempting to maintain their slave (read "cotton") economy, and about 300,000 Northerners succumbed attempting to outlaw and eliminate it.  Yes, we were all taught that.

(BTW, do the heirs of Northerners killed trying to overturn slavery deserve reparations?  And if so, from whom?  Perhaps from the heirs of Black slaves?  Maybe our V.P. is the one to address this issue?)

And I was taught we mistreated the Native Americans to an awful degree.  We forced them off their land and killed those who wouldn't go.  First we killed all their buffalo, and then we marched them from their homelands and on to distant "reservations."  Land so poor no one else wanted it.  Reference "Wounded Knee" if you need more evidence.  Yes, I was taught that.  In school.

(BTW, you and I can meet up for lunch at the Pechanga Casino here in Temecula.  Perhaps the very best "Indian" casino in all of America.  It looks more like the Four Seasons.  We gave the "Indians" a monopoly on casino gaming here in Taxifornia 23 years ago, and we made about 2,000 total Indians $Multi-Millionaires.  Long story, just go with me here.  Pay-back?  Youbetcha'...)  

And I was taught that our schools were segregated by a bunch of southern states.  They would simply not let go of having lost the Civil War.  Blacks were not permitted to go to school with Whites, they said.  Or to each lunch with them.  Separate drinking fountains and all that.  And thus a completely second-class educational system was maintained.  That could not be permitted to stand, we said.  "Unconstitutional!" America shouted as one.  So Federal troops were sent in to overturn that travesty.  Yes, we learned that in school.

(BTW, didn't we throw $6,000,000,000,000 (with a "T") at those "Great Society" programs in an effort to mitigate any lingering effects of slavery?  Any remaining guilt American might have had?  "Affirmative Action" and all that?  An extra 5 points on your Civil Service exam, and all that?  Remember?)

And we learned that our railroads needed to be built back in the 1850's, and we needed somebody to build them.  So we conscripted a bunch of Chinese laborers, tens of thousands of them, to do the building.  Mostly against their will.  We worked them and beat them and thousands of them died.  But that was okay because they were Yellow.  Yes we learned that in school.

(BTW, have we yet given the Chinese any casinos yet?  You know, in pay-back?  Sort of a "Mea Culpa?"  I didn't think so...)

And we learned that we forcibly took half of Mexico as the spoils of war via the "Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo."  From those poor Brown people.  Who attacked us.  That piece of paper that ended the Mexican-American War.  We won, so we stole half their country.  We could do that.  They're lucky, frankly, that we didn't take the entire corrupt, dusty place.  I think we should have.  Yes, they were lucky.  And yes, we were taught that in school.

So lemme' do an inventory here; we crapped on the Blacks, we dumped on the Indians, we pooped on the Chinese and we shat all over the Mexicans.  Did I miss anybody?  That covers the entire pallet of colors.  And we Americans - White Americans, too - were taught that in school.  As least I was taught that.  I'm afraid many of our younger generation, were not.  

Yet, even after all of this, in spite of all of this, I'm still happy to broadcast my undying love and loyalty and fealty to America, my Country.  The very best Country on Earth.  People make mistakes.  People make mistakes on behalf of countries.  And both people and countries can earn absolution.  So there...  

The far-out, crazed Looney Liberals want to institute the teaching of "Critical Race Theory" in our schools, k2-12.  They say that needs to be done because our educational system doesn't teach what "might" have happened.  I say we don't need to teach a "Theory" about what "might" have happened, when we can teach actual "History."  You know, facts vs. opinion?

(Just a quick question on my way out the digital door: If America is such an awful, terrible, racist place, why are more than 200,000 people breaking in, illegally, via what used to be our Southern Border, each and every month?  From all over the entire world?  All while the "CRT" flim-flam artists keep telling us America is "Institutionally racist?"  I'll give you a minute...)

Hands Up and Nobody Gets Hurt!

I've written before numerous times about the lunacy of permitting the government, either local or Federal, to know what firearms you might possess.  

Why?

First of all, it's none of their business.  Secondly, you might recall a little storm called Katrina?  It displaced more than 500,000 people from their homes that fateful day back in August, 2005.  And on August 24th, the very next day, Henry Lee, the Sheriff of New Orleans Parrish, gets in his little rowboat and begins to go house-by-house to every citizen's home who'd registered a firearm.  Oh, and he sent every one of his deputies out on other boats to do the same.  Each of them were dispatched to confiscate firearms.  Not to stop crime, which was rampant.  Not to save lives, which were being lost by the thousands.  Not to rescue citizens, who were in peril.  But to...  

           ...Confiscate Firearms.  

And they did.  Every single one.

How's that for gun control?  Just when you need one the most, the Long Arm of the Law comes to your house to grab it.  To take it from you, physically.  Is there another, better reason for not permitting the authorities to know if you have a firearm?  And then, if you do, which ones you might possess?    

And BTW, the whole principle behind "Universal Background Check" legislation those on the Looney Left keep on clamoring for* is to insure that the State knows what you bought, when you bought it, and where you keep it.  Presumably so they'll know where to go when it's time to confiscate it...

I stopped buying firearms the day that Taxifornia started keeping track of firearms.  That was five years ago.  Of course, knowing that day would come, I'd been fattening up my gun collection for more than a decade prior.  So I didn't need any more.  No, I've got me plenty of those life-saving firearms.  Oh yeah, and ammo, too!  Thousands of rounds.  Tens of thousands of rounds!  Lots and lots...  

Call me prescient.  Oh, and able to defend myself...

*  Our current background check laws, which have been in effect since 1998, require that the Form 4453 you filled out when you bought your firearm must be destroyed by the State within 30 days.  "Universal Background Check" legislation the "Progressives" want requires that information to be kept forever.  Like it now is in CA, and NY, and MD, and IL, and MA, and WA, and OR, and, and, and...

My First Annual GUN BUY BACK!

All of those nice folks out there who are still convinced, even after all the evidence over the decades to the contrary, that guns cause crime, I'm pleased to announce my... 

    1st Annual Gun Buy-Back Event!  

Yes, my friends, this coming Saturday, here at Fortress Chuckmeiser, I'm hosting my very first Gun Buy-Back event.  And don't ask me how it can be a "buy-back" when we never owned it in the first place.  You're making it waaaaay too complicated!  Just go to the hall closet and grab grandad's old over-and-under, Parker, double-twist shotgun and bring it down next Saturday morning.  The one with all that gold engraving on the receiver.  Yeah, that one.  I'll be pleased to swap that useless chunk of dangerous iron for a $25 gift card to Target!  But don't tell grandad.  He don't need to know...

Just bring in that old WW2 Garand M-1 Sniper Rifle that's been languishing in the attic.  Or that old Colt Python .357 Magnum pistol in Bright Blue your dearly departed husband kept by the night stand.  Or that Presentation Grade Weatherby Mark 5 in .338 Lapua Magnum?  Or that awful 9mm German Luger pistol your great uncle brought back with him from the Big War.  Those awful Nazis!  

How about that dusty old matched pair of 1873 Colt Single Action Army revolvers, in .44-40, sequentially serial numbered, in a Circassian fiddleback walnut presentation box?  You don't need those anymore, now do you?  

Or that miserable old side-by-side, Holland & Holland .600 Nitro Express Dangerous Game Rifle you won in a raffle way back when.  The ammo's terribly expensive, and there ain't no elephants around here, anyway!  (Yuck, yuck!!!)  Any firearm at all, just bring it here early next Saturday.  We'll have appraisers on hand to undervalue your firearm, and to  trade you out of it with near-worthless Starbucks and Sears gift cards.

Especially Sears.    

Oh yeah, if your old firearm is broken and tired and beat up and useless, just go ahead and keep it.  Don't waste your time or ours.  Bring it to the next police gun buy-back event your socialist town sponsors, instead.  Knowing nothing at all about firearms, they'll be happy to take it.  And pay you more for it than it's worth.  Oh yeah, much more!  Mucho More!  And then brag to the local Media about how "woke" they are...

So, fellow Pilgrim, if you know anyone looking to offload an old firearm, so long as it's in good shape and needs to be in my collection, send them our way.  We just love to gyp the locals.  

Oh wait, can't say "gyp."  That's racist now.  I guess...

It's Viet Nam All Over Again...

To all you "bring the troops home," advocates and anti-war types out there (including none of those Proud Pilgrims who are receiving this humble missive, of course), I'd like to provide you with a sobering factoid to shatter your little Liberal persuasions.

Yes, I like long sentences.  Verbiage happens.  You understood it, didn't you?

Anyway, while you've been focusing your attention on Afghanistan, and demanding that Joe O'Biden bring the few remaining troops there home, I'd like to offer up a few other stark statistics about troop deployments around the world today:

     -  Japan:  55,000 

     -  Germany:  35,000

     -  United Kingdom:  10,000

     -  Kuwait:  2,000

     -  Bahrain:  4,000

     -  South Korea:  25,000

     -  Guam:  6,000

     -  Italy:  12,000

     -  Spain:  3,000

Oh yeah, and as of right now, the United States maintains military installations in 153 countries.  That's all but 20 of the Earth's countries.  We don't seem to be short of troops to deploy, now do we?  

Why were you clamoring for the U. S. to bring home its last 2,500 soldiers from Afghanistan, again?  When leaving them there as a "trip wire" against anticipated aggression by the Taliban is the obvious thing to do?  

When you could have just as easily, and perhaps much more intelligently, left them there and removed a few soldiers from any of the above targets I've identified for you?

Either all from one place, or a few from a bunch of different precincts?  

So here's the deal, as they say.  I don't much care whether we should have invaded and occupied Afghanistan, or not.  We did.  That was 20 years and 2,400 invaluable American lives ago.  As Gen. Colin Powell used to say, "You break it, you buy it."  And I like to say, "It is, what it is."  

How about we bring our troops home from SPAIN, where they've been for more than 70 years, if bringing a few soldiers home is your goal?  Unless just belching some anti-war platitudes in front of your fawning sycophants is your objective?  Is Spain in danger of being attacked?

So, in summation, I'd like to put it to you straight and simple: Only an America-hating ideologue would intentionally fight a war for 20 years, and then unilaterally cede hard-fought territory to the enemy.    

Is that what you're doing?  Do you have some vested interest in America going down in flames?  Or are you just a flaming idiot?  

Hmmm?  

"Bitch-Slapping" the Pukes...

I looked back fondly over the weekend at the pride I felt upon landing in West Germany that day way back when.

I was a newly-minted U. S. Army soldier and Germany was to be my new home.  At least for awhile.  That was back in early 1967.  So I got the chance...the invaluable chance...to take a look back at my Homeland from a strange and far-off place.  

And looking around at the-then post-WW2 European landscape where I was to reside, I can tell you I was bursting with pride to be an American.  A member of that Very Special Group that had managed to gear up and man-up and win two separate Wars, one on each side of the Earth, at the same time, just a couple of decades previously.  And it was for that reason that these proud people could live their lives in peace and tranquility.  All because America had come to their aid.

And I was (and am) an American.  A Proud American.

Flash forward to dystopian 2021.

I watched in horror over the weekend as a number of spoiled brats disrespected their Country, its Anthem and its Flag.  In public.  Over a Holiday!  THE Holiday!  And more than a few of them were elected Federal representatives.  The members of the so-called "Squad" come to mind.  They should be ashamed.  If they had any shame, that is...

Think Sandy Occasional-Cortex, for example.  She's the only bartender in history who's never brought anything to the table...

Looking back at America as I did that day was, I imagine, quite a bit like our astronauts felt upon  looking back from the Moon back in 1969.  They were proud.  I was proud.  That pride apparently no longer exists in our youngest generations.

As I've said before (remember, Geoff?), I believe the seeds of this disrespect were sown the very day we ceased Conscription.  The Draft.  That day back in 1976 we stopped drafting our youth into military service.  The very day we stopped forcing our citizens to pay a price for their citizenship.  

When we did employ the draft, those same troops came home hardened, toughened, better educated and more patriotic Americans than the day they left home.  And better able to care for themselves and their families.  As God intended.  

We no longer do that.  And so, we're now breeding an entire generation that thinks it fashionable to hate their own country.  What an awful shame...  

Cause...and effect.

I'd like to personally bitch-slap every one of the miserable little pukes who tried to elevate their Social Media status by spitting on my Flag.  Or turning their back on my Anthem.  Or spouting anti-American platitudes.  I can't.  I'd be arrested if I did.  Not if I set fire to a courthouse, mind you, just if I cold-cocked one of these useless walking garbage piles.  Who probably still live in mommy and daddy's basement.    

Somehow I'm thinking it might be worth the charge.  Want to join me? 

"Pick-Pocket Tourism"

Is your miserable, boring, useless existence a never-ending succession of mind-numbing, agonizing events and circumstances, each more awful than the one before it, each reminding you that your plebian little life is not worth the trouble of living it?

Is that what's bothering you, Boobie?

Are you looking for something to spice up your life a bit?  Something to put a little "zip" back into your step?  Congratulations, fellow Patriots.  I'm pleased to announce The Chuckmeister's new 

           "Pick-Pocket Tourism."

Did you see the video of the Black guy on a bike riding slowly through one of San Franpoopco's CVS stores recently?  He had a black plastic garbage bag which he was carefully and methodically filling with everything he could scoop off the shelves.  And when it was full, so full he could scarcely carry it, he rode ceremoniously past the flummoxed security guard and out the door and on to freedom.

So why was he allowed to escape?  Why was he so brazen in his actions?  What's going on in this once-great town? 

Well, lemme' tell you Pilgrim.  The citizens of SFO elected a guy named Chesa Boudin as District of Attorney. And Boudin is a full-blown Marxist.  He was hand-selected, trained and paid for by George Soros, famous commie $Billionaire, and put in office to destroy this once-proud City.  

And he has.  

How?  He quickly moved the threshold for a petty theft to become a felony from from $50.00 to $950.00!  That means if you steal anything less than $950, they just ignore you!  Or write you a ticket, a "citation" at worst, which you don't have to later appear for!

And it's gotten so bad that a dozen of SFO's most elegant, upscale stores have shuttered or reduced operating hours as a result (cause and effect, Pilgrim!).  Even their Target stores have started closing at dusk to reduce the incidence of shoplifting.  (Hey, Target!  You could reduce shoplifting altogether by closing your stores entirely!  And that just may occur!).

So I'd say that's the makin's of a new business!  The Chuckmeister will operate as a tour guide, bringing you to the finest places to loot.  Just fork over the very reasonable sum of $2,395.00 and we'll pick you up at the airport and take you to at least a dozen local stores.  Tuna salad sandwich and soft drink provided.  We'll even provide the helper to follow you around and keep track of the retail prices of your looted items to make sure you stay under the "magic number."  And when you've looted to your heart's content, we'll take you to Union Square where you can watch the homeless people shoot up and urinate on the front of the City's finest restaurants.  And learn the fine art of "poop hopping" SFO's citizens have recently had to master. 

So act fact, fellow Pilgrims!  The (remaining) citizens of San Franpoopco may run the commie prick D. A. out of office and restore some sanity back into their criminal justice system.  But until then, just think:  one pair of Jimmy Choos or a new Kate Spade purse at Neiman's can more than pay you back for our more than reasonable little all-inclusive tour package price.  And who knows, it could even be a write-off!  

I look forward to hearing from you, fellow Pilgrims!  Why should the thieves have all the fun?  Call 1-800 GET-PURSE today!!!   

The Chuckmeister's Dildo of the Year Award!

Just a reminder, I'm still taking nominations for my "Dildo of the Year Award."  We've still got a bit of time yet, but we're close enough to begin deliberations.    

I know you've been gnashing your teeth over who will emerge "victorious," knowing full well that winning this august contest of mine labels one a Dufus, a Cad and a Dweeb.  Oh yeah, and a Twerp, a Scoundrel and a Miscreant.  Even though it's still early, our runaway candidate for the 2021 Award is:  

         St. George of Fentanyl

Some may find it strange that San Fran Nan Pelosi of the House of Reps and Chuckie Schumer of the Senate, in concert with their sycophants in the Democrat Party and our so-called "MainStreamMedia," (LOL), plus all of Hollyweird, oh, and Academia, and the unions, and everybody on the Upper East Side, and everybody I just forgot to mention, have chosen to make George Floyd their saint.

I know I do.

To select and sanctify a Guttersnipe of the First Magnitude for their Standard Bearer is frankly disturbing.  And a little scary.  They could have selected any number of prominent Black people in our society to idolize, if idolizing only Blacks was their goal.  

It quite obviously was not.

Instead they picked a guy who was arrested 23 separate times and imprisoned for five of them.  His rap sheet goes all the way back to 1998 when he was arrested for dealing coke.  As in coca-ina.  That magical substance that makes Central American farmers act like Wall Street bankers.  Floyd's rap sheet included 3 stolen cars, 3 armed robberies and 6 burglaries.  This guy was busy!

To prove he was not some ordinary gang banger, in 2008 he donned the outfit of a water meter reader and led a gang of fellow felons on a smash and grab into a poor Black woman's apartment.  He held a gun to her pregnant stomach and demanded cash for drugs.  He got 5 years in the Texas Big House for that one.

Nice guy, huh?  

He relocated to Minneapolis upon his parole where he continued to plague the local cops with a series of lower-level "smash-and-grab" crimes.  They were called when he tried to pass a bogus $20 bill at the Cup Foods.  While high on fentanyl.  And cocaine.  And maryjowanna.  With an enlarged heart.  Which the coroner gave as his official cause of death.  

Like that matters to good Liberals and the Legacy Media.

Except the dumbass cop was dumbass enough to put his dumbass knee on this guy's dumbass neck while he was dying.  The cop deserves the sentence he received.  And so will the next one...

But something tells me that the Democrat National Committee and Hollywood and the teachers' unions and the Dinosaur Media and San Fran Nan Pelosi and Chuckie Schumer would do a lot better if they chose a different Saint;  a different champion, a different standard bearer, to carry their flag into battle.  Somebody like, say, the Right Reverend Alfonso Sharpton.  But no, they'll not take their marching orders from the likes of me.  They'll continue in their errant ways, and so far be it from me to try and stop them.  

However, the nominating process is still open.  And the far-and-away leader in nominations after St. George is: 

        Sir Hunter of Wilmington   

In short, had "Sir Hunter" been born to any other father he'd be doing hard time in Leavenworth right now.  As his rather colorful background will attest.

I'm sure he always felt like the red-headed stepchild.  His brother Beau was always Daddy's favorite.  Beau was the rock-star military hero and home-state attorney general.  Hunter had to enlist in the Navy.  Which promptly disgorged him like a rotten piece of feted meat.  For being a drug addict.  Poor thing.

So while nursing his bad-conduct discharge, he promptly began doing his dead brother's wife.  Doing, as in, "doing."  "Wink-Wink."  

That didn't turn out so well when sister-in-bed found out he was diddling a Little Rock stripper, who he made "heavy with child."  And then promptly lied about the paternity.  

Had he lied yet in the pantheon of crimes, both small and large by this time?  I think not.  Good.  We can now add that one in. 

She sued for paternity, forcing him to leave his rented Venice Beach $3 Million Dollar mansion long enough to take a blood test.  Which he promptly failed. And then she was awarded child care.  Nice guy, what?

Those of us who don't get their news from Yahoo and Google now know about the infamous "laptop from hell."  It contains not only severely incriminating evidence against Hunter, but against his Daddy.  As in, The President.  Of these here Eeeuuuu-nited States.  

Well, the FBI is supposed to be investigating the laptop thingie and maybe we'll one day find out what will happen as a result.  I'm betting nothing, because Hunter is Joe's Baby Boy, and Joe's a Democrat, and the FBI appears to be chock full of Democrats these days.  

I'll keep you briefed on the Award.  And if you have any other nominees, please just pass them along.  It's soooooo much fun to delve into the backgrounds of these bottom-feeders...  

   

Men With "Assault Weapons"...

To all of you who are getting ready for the Big BBQ, for the parades and the baseball games and the family vacations, and for celebrating the 4th of July, just remember that this holiday, and your freedom, was brought to you - bought and paid for - by Americans brandishing "assault weapons."

The British had issued arrest warrants for our patriots Sam Adams and John Hancock, and were on their way with 700 "Redcoats" to Lexington to find and arrest them.  And to also seize our cache firearms and means of bullet-making so we could no longer defend ourselves as a People.  

An early example of "gun control," don't you think?  

The Brits were understandably concerned about the buildup of our "Minutemen."  Those of our early Colonists who could be ready to fight in "just a minute."  And most of them were armed with Kentucky flintlock "long rifles," those miraculous, six foot-long jewels were so good at their jobs they could knock a man off a horse at 600 yards.  Our earliest form of "Assault weapon," I assume.

Our Colonists response to the arrival of the British Regulars came to be known as the "Shot heard 'round the world."

Had our forebears not been quite so keen on freedom back then, we'd likely be speaking with a British accent today.  And even more concerned about whether Harry and William can reconcile. 

So as we celebrate today with hots dogs and parades, let us also give thanks for the brave souls who fought and died for their freedom and our own.  And also for the fact that 100+ million of us own more than 450 million firearms, so neither the British, nor any other power, including our own Government, would dare ever consider another Lexington; another effort to disarm us as a People.

A word to the wise should be sufficient...

The Truth About "Climate Change."

Let us discuss that question as adults, clean, quick and simple, now shall we?

-  Did you know that India and China together are responsible for emitting more than 51% of all atmospheric pollutants?

That's the stuff that we're told is responsible for "Global Warming."  Whatever that is...

     -  And did you know that our Earth revolves on its axis?  Every 24 hours?  Reliably?  

     -  And did you also know that the atmosphere, that stuff we breathe, as in "air," revolves counter-clockwise to the Earth's rotation?  Which means that the stuff China and India are belching into their atmosphere today, right now, will become OUR atmosphere by the middle of next week?

You knew that, right?

Al Gore doesn't know any of this.  Neither does Joe O'Biden.  Or our real President Kamala Harris.  Or Sandy Occasional-Cortex.  Or more than half of her room temperature-I.Q. Democrat friends in Congress, sadly.

     -  And oh by the way, did you know that we're obligated by the Paris Climate Accords to pay more than $One Billion Dollars?  Those same Accords that Obama got us into, and Trump got us out of, and O'Biden has gotten us back into?  And did you know that China and India are obligated by those Accords to pay NOTHING!  Nothing at all!  Nothing at all until at least 2030, and perhaps even later than that?  

Let's see:  We - Americans - produce less than 25% of all atmospheric pollutants, and year-by-year that percentage is going down.  And they - China and India - together produce more than 50%, and that percentage is going up!  Yet, we're paying $One Billion Dollars and they're paying bupkus.

     -  And lastly, did you know that "bupkus" is an old yiddish word meaning, "nothing."  As in zip!  Nada!  Nothing at all!  

Did you know that?  Did you know any of this?  And if you did, what are you doing about it?  Your country is being run by a pack of out-of-control, crazed, leftist idiots.  So what are you doing about it?  

Hmmmmm?