Uptown Looting...

Did you ever wonder just how many Louis Vuitton handbags it takes to assuage perceived racism?  To make looters and anarchists and arsonists feel like they've done enough to insure that George Floyd is given a resounding sendoff?  Or to just pad their wallets with uber-expensive crap they don't need and cannot use?  

But stuff that can be quickly converted into crack or meth or weed?  

That question is raised because the Portland Louis Vuitton store was trashed by looters this past Sunday.  These poor "protesters" "liberated" nearly $500 Grand worth of high-end tony little handbags while attempting to burn this famously-liberal old city to the ground.    

I thought their choice of merchandise was telling also.  One of the looters took a couple of sweet Pouchettes.  The first was a $2,560.00 Pouchette Metis in signature Vuitton monogram with gold hardware.  The second was a Pouchette Grenelle in "seaside" with silver hardware.  They also snatched a nice little $2,400 Palm Springs MM in signature monogram with gold hardware.    

(NOTE:  Prior to doing my exhaustive research for this little rant, I'd never heard of a "Pouchette" or a "Metis" or a "grenelle," and still have no idea what that means.  I doubt you do either.  And I'd say also that for $2,400, the hardware ought to be solid gold.)

These looters also emptied every other high-end store in Portland during their several-hour purge.  And nary a cop was to be found.  I'm guessing their mayor told them to stand down.  Or maybe sit down would be a better term...

Hundreds of other looters destroyed stores and buildings and monuments throughout America.  They even set fire to St. John's Episcopal Church in Washington, D.C.  Some of my favorite lootings, all sure to make the "Top Looter Award" for 2020, which no doubt will be shown live on BET this fall, with the infamous tax cheat Rev. Al Sharpton doing the MC duties, include the following:

     -  Looters grabbed more than $2.4 Million worth of Rolex watches from a store in SoHo.  At least they have good taste.

     -  A brand-new Rolls-Royce Cullinan SUV (only 32 in all of America!) rolled up to a Hermes store in NYC last weekend and its occupants emptied it.  Only a few of these super-special SUVs were ever made, with a value of more than $350,000.  I guess the uber-rich were doing a little late-nite shopping.  As I said, looting is going uptown these days.

     -  As you may have heard, Macy's had given $500,000 to the BLM movement, with heartfelt expressions of solidarity with their cause.  And then the looters broke into its Flagship Store in NYC and took everything but the shelving units.  Maybe you just can't give them enough money to make them change their stripes. 

So I would be remiss if I didn't offer up a potential solution or two to this rather massive problem our Country now faces.  I've given it a bunch of thought.  And I I believe I have the answer to our collective problems.  First, fire all the White cops and replace them with Black ones.  That would help to cure Black unemployment as 700,000 Black folks would fill previously-White cop jobs.  And screw the White folks summarily displaced, right?  Maybe it will make them finally understand what it means to be Black.  Or something...  

Second, tear down all the statues, tall and short, wherever they may be.  No more statues for us Americans.  We simply aren't adult enough to appreciate the efforts and achievements of our forebears, especially those who labored for goals we do not now hold dear.  Revisionist history is well under way here, fellow Pilgrims!    

And third, since it's apparent that the NFL now believes that it's apropos to kneel for our Flag, simply stop playing the National Anthem before games.  This would rob protesters of an opportunity to beclown themselves and our Country.  

Or perhaps even better, simply shutter the NFL and stop playing football.  Since it used to be a sport, and apparently has ceased to be, perhaps we're all better off to spend our quality free time in another endeavor...  

Fourth, put the word out far and wide that ALL LIVES MATTER.  Whether Black or White, Red or Yellow, all lives matter.  And anyone who believes that only Black lives matter should be reminded that they are the ones that embrace "pro choice," and it is my choice to believe that all lives matter.  

And oh yeah, believing that only Black lives matter is racist, in my opinion.  And I get an opinion, whether you like it or not.  Period.

There.  I think I've cause quite enough trouble for one day.  Chuckmesiter, OUT!