More Chuckmeisterly Observations...

From time to time I post my observations.  You may have noticed.  And my observations are in such demand I'm often stopped on the street and asked if I have any new ones.  Fans are like that sometimes...

Well, Pilgrim, as it happens, I have a few.  New ones, that is.  For your reading pleasure.  Here goes...

  -   The good news is that we're in yoga pants season.  The bad news is that we're in yoga pants season.

  -   Never judge a man without walking a mile in his shoes.  Then, if you and he are still at odds, you're a mile away...and you have his shoes.

  -   I think the U. N. should be moved to the Left Bank of the Seine in beautiful, downtown Paris.  As in France, doncha' know.  Let the French deal with unpaid parking tickets and miscreants who hate us and mouthy, unkempt losers from around the world.

  -   Only the Democrats could believe that a 16 year-old girl from Sweden with serious medical conditions should school them on "climate change."  Oh yeah, and that a hefty new tax is the only thing that can cure it.  Think about just how loony that sounds; Democrats attempting to control the weather with somebody else's $100 bills...

  -   I've heard the House Intelligence Committee's bug-eyed Chairman Adam Schiff is about to add the burning down of Sheryl's she-shed as an additional charge in Trump's impeachment inquiry.

  -   For those who are confused about their gender, like many in California, where there are somewhere between 57 and 100, they tell us, I say simply loosen your belt, open your pants, take your thumb and hook it in your undies.  Pull them out away from your body a bit and look down.  That should answer your question...

  -   If a "gun free zone" sign works, as the gun-grabbers continually tell us, then "illegal immigrant free zone" and "bank robbery free zone" and "terrorism free zone" signs should work also, right?

  -   Just like there's a corollary to Murphy's Law that states, "Junk expands to fit the space available for it," I offer up, "Actors and actresses increase in quantity to fill the rapidly expanding number of cable channels available for them."  

  -   I've learned that there's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.  Think about that one for a bit...  

  -   I wonder how much my AR-15s will be worth once the Liberal weenies ban them?  We all know that once we make stuff illegal it goes up in price.  Just take a look at drugs if you doubt me.  So the gun-grabbers will try and make our ARs illegal, and the owners of 16 million ARs will collectively have a really good laugh.  Out loud.  As in, come and take them.  Trading them over the back fence and in the alleyways at a huge profit should finally make all our gun-grabbing friends happy, right?

  -   And finally, I self-identify as a Black illegal alien on occasion.  Those occasions would be when it benefits me financially.  And it's looking like that time may be coming.   All the Dem 2020 POTUS candidates have agreed that reparations for Blacks are a jolly good idea.  And here in the once-Golden State of Taxifornia, they're giving free health insurance to illegals.  Not citizens, mind you, illegals!  Sooooo, it's looking like I may wind up with a sash full of cash from reparations, and freebie health insurance to boot!  Is is this a wonderful to-be socialist country, or what?