Memo to the White House:

M E M O R A N D U M

September 23, 2019

Dear Mr. President;

I'm not sure whether you've noticed it or not, but every single thing you do results in complete and total condemnation by those on the "Left."

(NOTE:  For purposes of this little screed, the "Left" includes standard, everyday Democrats, of which there are very few remaining, plus socialists, communists, Marxists, Antifa-ists, Black Lies Matter-ists, Greenies, enviro-whackos, Redistributionists, witches, militant drag queens and "Climate Chaos" sufferers.)  

Yep, every idea you have, every suggestion you put forth, every entreaty you make, every proposal you offer up is met with immediate and complete negativity by the Democrat Party, all Dem 2020 POTUS candidates, nearly every bozo in Hollywood, all environmentalists and tree huggers everywhere, and all but a couple of those blow-dried, talking head TV Dinosaur Media-types with which we've grown so weary.

Every idea.  Not just a couple.  Not just most.  Not just the vast majority.  All! 

Every. Single. One.

Now, I dunno' about you, but I'd say it's pretty tough to come up with ideas and proposals that are universally disliked by any group of folks, no matter which.  But they have overcome that little speedbump.  Nope, they don't like anything the Blustery Orange Bad Man puts forth.  From taxes to immigration to gun control to foreign policy to "Global Something-or-Other" to what to drive and what to eat and where to live, the Leftoids among us could not be more completely in disagreement.  Hard, I know, but they've accomplished this almost impossible task; to be against everything!

Sooooo, why don't you just decide to put forth ideas completely and totally opposite of what you really want, and then wait, oh, about 30 seconds.  During this period all but two MainStreamMedia networks, all 2020 Dem POTUS candidates, all the Hollyweird swells whose opinion is supposed to matter, and all Twitter-ers in the Twittersphere will come out against your proposal as being anti-American, Putin-friendly, racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, treasonous and destructive to the Middle Class. 

Then, issue a press release indicating that the earlier proposal was put forth in error, the staffer who did it has been fired, and that what you really wanted is the exact opposite; the exact position, therefore, taken by the screaming masses of otherwise-unemployables who for some reason have dedicated their lives to being "Never Trump."

This way you'd (1) finally get stuff accomplished, (2) you'd place the harsh spotlight of truth on the anti-everything Leftoid howling sycophants, and (3) you'd make it plain to everyone everywhere that anything Trump accomplishes is in spite of, not because of, these crazed automatons.     

So there.  Mission accomplished.  Get back to me if there's any other knotty problem you'd like sorted out.  Being an Eagle Scout, a Life Member of the NRA, and an Army Vet who almost single-handedly ended the Cold War, I specialize in doing just that...  

Yours for better governance, I remain,

Sincerely Yours,

The Chuckmeister

(NOTE:  Call me if you need a new National Security Advisor.)