The Office of Presidential Impeachment.

Everything changed on November 8, 2016.

That was the day Donald J. Trump won the Presidency of the United States.  Or perhaps the day Hillary Rodham Clinton lost it.  In either case, a whole "new normal" was visited upon us, the American People.

Because of that sea change, it's become apparent we need to alter the way we conduct future business in Washington, the District of Columbia.

I propose that we hereby create the "Office of Presidential Impeachment."  

This new Cabinet-level Department would have life breathed into it in order that we might get a running start on the impeachment of our next, and all subsequent Presidents.  In fact, let's just assume that all future Presidents deserve to be impeached, either for something they've done or something they might do, and let that reality become a part of each and every citizen's decision-making process when the choice to run for POTUS is being made.

Assuming you still have to be a citizen by then...

Prior to this we've had no need of such an Office.  Up to now one Party would win the Presidency, rejoice, and then get down to business trying to enact its vision of how things ought to be.  The other?  There would be some grumbling, maybe a little yelling and hollering and some drinking, maybe a LOT of drinking, and then that half of the Nation would dry its collective tears, get back to work and then start planning how to win the NEXT election.  The one just passed being in the rearview mirror, doncha' know.

That's what the Republicans did when Obama won.  Twice.  Presumably, that's what the Democrats did when Bush won, twice.  Except, as you'll recall, they didn't actually really think he actually ACTUALLY won.  

With Trump's election the Democrat Party decided to change its modus operandi.  From top to bottom, it seems.  

Now, if you win an election as a Democrat, you won.  And if you lose, you won!  The election was stolen from you!  You were cheated!  That's what H. R. Clinton said.  Actually, she gave us about 43 different excuses for having lost, so far to date, so I'm not sure which one she considers primary.  But for sure, she was cheated.  Big Time!  

So did Stacey Abrams of Georgia.  She lost her Gubernatorial election in 2018 by more than 55,000 votes.  But she claims it was stolen from her.  She claims she actually won.  Well, if she THINKS so it MUST be true...

I have to say, up to now the Democrats have always been a bit reality-challenged.  But at least they could count.  No more, seemingly. Now, with vote counting not having the relative import it used to, we're back to that old saying:  "Who ya' gonna' believe?  Me, or your lyin' eyes?" 

So now the Trump pre-impeachment has gone off the rails and the Democrats who put all their eggs in that "Russiagate" basket have been found wanting.  Too bad.  Mueller found no collusion (which isn't a crime, by the way), nor did he prove corruption (kind of hard to corrupt a corrupt investigation, isn't it?).

But maybe, just maybe this whole Russiagate thing could have worked better for the Democrats if they'd have gotten an earlier start.  Maybe like before the election ever took place, even (NOTE: we now learn the groundwork for impeachment was laid by certain highly-placed members of the FBI, the CIA, the NSA and maybe the U. S. Post Office a full 17 months before the Election!).  And it will certainly work for the Republicans, who will most certainly follow the Democrat's playbook any time they lose in the future.

In fact, I suspect they'll use that playbook whether they lose or not!  "They tried to cheat me, but they were too incompetent to make it work!"

So how about this:  Via the Office of Presidential Impeachment, we start investigating all candidates the moment they announce their candidacy.  That would give us months and months and months before actual voting to run down and speak with every single person the candidate has ever talked to in his/her/its entire life.  (I've added "its" because of California, doncha' know.  Here, you never know exactly which one you're dealing with...)

We could investigate every tax return they ever filed; every business they ever started; every time they got too frisky with a creature of the opposite sex, or even the same sex, going all the way back to grade school; everything they've ever done, with anyone, anywhere, ever.

EVER!  

That way we're able to find every skeleton in every closet before the first lever is pulled.  Had we done that with the 2016 election we'd have learned, courtesy of the Mueller Report, what we now know about Trump.  But we could also have learned all the stuff about Clinton we've yet to learn.  And may well soon.  Hmmm.  That might be interesting, right?

Establishing this new Department would have several benefits:  

  -   First, it would result in adding several hundred or even thousand new employees to the D. C. public payroll.  And for those who think the Gummint is never too large, this would be a Godsend.  I mean, there's only about 211,000 Federal employees in D. C., and over Two Million nationwide.  That's clearly not enough.    

  -   Duo, it would provide full employment for all the lawyers in D. C. who've yet to find a job.  That can't be very many, but let's find them all and put them to work.  In fact, we could label this the "Attorney's Full Employment Act of 2020."

  -  And trois, it would kind of level the playing field between the two Parties; between the one IN power, and the one OUT.  Everybody's always investigating everybody else, so nobody gets too big for their britches.  It seems we've been doing this anyway; this would just formalize the practice.

  -  Quattttro, it would add some legitimacy to the entire process.  No "will he or won't he" appoint a Special Counsel.  Just have a bunch of Special Counsels on staff along with a few hundred extra lawyers standing by and trot one out whenever needed.

  -   And funf (German for "five"), any future candidate for POTUS would throw his/her/its hat in the ring only after factoring in the assurance that they'll be heckled, hounded, pursued, accused, threatened, abused, mistreated, lied about and treated like a red-headed step child for having had the temerity to run for Prez. And they'd also have to add in the enoRRRmous hit to their bank account for having to hire a dozen lawyers at $600 an hour each to defend them before myriad Congressional investigations.  For years.

This little expense has so far bankrupted a half-dozen of Trump's early campaign staff, starting with one Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn, a national hero with more than 40 years' military service.  Yet, none have been charged with anything having to do with collusion or corruption with the Russkies.  Of any kind.  At all.  

NONE!

And to tie a neat bow around this whole deal, I'd appoint Congressperson Maxine "Mad Max" Waters (D-CA) as the new Department Secretary.  This woman has been calling for Trump's impeachment since well before the Election, so she's probably got more experience at this than anyone else.  

Remember?  She's been yelling, "'Peach fawty-fie! 
'Peach fawty fie!" for three years!  And given that she has little or nothing to do, except represent the good people of Watts, appear nightly on CNN and MSNBC, and live in her $4.6 Million Dollar tony Lost Angeles mansion (one of three she owns), this would permit her to focus her special talents like a laser.  

And I'm sure Maxine would be fair to both Parties, right?  There's no way she'd show favoritism to one Party over the other, right?  I mean, she's a patriot, right?

So let's get this whole Trump/Russia thing behind us and embark on a bright new future of complete and total political turmoil and backbiting.  No more well-wishing and glad-handing.  No, indeed.  Don't even think about it.  Let's stop all pretenses of this "working across the aisle" thing and just declare All Out Total War!

As they say, "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."  Or, in the parlance of D.C., maybe better put as, "what's bad for the other Party is reeeely good for mine!"  

But then again, there's another old expression that might work about here:  "Be careful for what you want; you just might get it!"

You don't have to thank me.  It's why God put me here...