Identity Politics...

The Democrats are really big into "Identity Politics."

That's their preferred way of winning political support.  They separate people into myriad little sub-groups, both small and large.  Like, for instance, by race, ethnicity, heritage, education, age, sex, sexual preference, physical location, income and hair color.

I'm not real sure about that last one, but it's entirely possible.

Examples?  Why not.  Obama was not only Black, he was White!  Did anyone ever call him "White?"  And, he was called an "African-American!"  Even though, being extracted from Arab roots, he had nary a drop of "African" blood in him!  But why should we let the truth interrupt such a wonderful narrative?

How about Sen. Liz Warren?  She managed to get a full-ride to Haaaavid because of her "American Indian" ancestry.  And then a professorship there.  Same reason.  She played the "race card" well enough to claw her way up from mediocrity, upon which she still maintains an armlock, to becoming a "woman of color."  And she undoubtedly got elected to the Senate from Massassachewsettts due in no small part to her "mixed" ancestry. 

Except, of course, she just revealed that her Native blood is almost nonexistent.  As in tiny fractions of fractions.  Minuscule, doncha' know.  Vladimir Putin no doubt has more Native American blood coursing through his veins than does she.

And now she's running for POTUS, 2020.  Good luck, Liz!  

However, me thinks that if identity politics is such a good idea, why not really practice it?  I mean, all the way?  

Instead of just paying lip service to identity politics, let's look high and low to find the absolute exactly right candidate to take our Progressive message to the masses?  How about a Mulatto, half Black and half something else, but definitely not White (they tell us those White men have caused us nothing but problems ever since 1776!).  Like, say, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  He's half Black and half Samoan.  That's reeeely good!  And, he's expressed an interest in politics!

Except I understand he leans a bit Right.  That disqualifies him for public office, doncha' know.  Identity politics is embraced only by Democrats, and only applies to Democrats.  

And Progressives, Lefties, Liberals, Redistributionists Commies, Greenies, Marxists, Tree-Huggers, Sovereigns, Eco-weenies, Witches, Druids and socialists.  Especially socialists!

So let's see if we can help out the Democrat Party in its selection process.  Let's take a look at the current crop of wannabe' POTUS candidates and see if there's any one of them that best fits our identity politics goal.

Newly-announced candidate Pete (Mayor Pete) with an unpronounceable last name from South Bend, Indiana almost takes the brass ring.  He's young (37), gay and a socialist.  His father was a Marxist professor, so I guess the apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree.  

Awww, but he's WHITE!  That'll never do!  Nope, in the 2020 cycle, being White don't cut it!  No, our ideal candidate has to tick a whole bunch of different boxes in order to grab this brass ring!  

Let's add in transgenderism.  Let's make our candidate a mixed-race transgender woman.  Couldn't use a man, because Liberals don't believe a man would actually pretend to be a woman.  All that "toxic masculinity" thing, doncha' know.  The other way around would be okay, however.  

So, we've got a Halfrican, transgender woman.  But let's go a bit farther.  How about making her/him/it also gay?  Or, lesbian in this case (I myself am a lesbian; there, I said it!)?  That brings in the LGBTQMDBWT crowd.  NOTE:  I don't know what the letters after "Q" stand for, but I'm sure they'll stand for something reeeel soon.

So, we've got all the Blacks, the transgenders, the gays and the women covered.  Let's also make our preferred candidate an albino!  Yeah, that's the ticket!  An albino!  

So, we've got a mixed-race transgender, lesbian albino woman so far.  Let's then be reeeeeeeely inclusive and look for someone who is also a Gypsy!  That brings in all those with a strange racial story, like the "Romas," as well as those who've been mistreated, incarcerated and abused, who make their living stealing, robbing, cheating and lying.  And that's millions and millions of people!  

Including the members of Congress!  

So that means our ideal candidate will also be a felon, preferably with a good story to tell about his/her/its long road to redemption.

I think it would also be compelling if our candidate had received at least a couple of DUIs, along with a nice, long stint at a drug recovery house.  Kind of like R. Downey, Jr., our very own Iron Man.  Remember, he spent quite a time in the Gray Bar Hotel for drug charges, washing patrol cars at the Riverside County Jail for a summer, but managed to rebound quite well.  I presume you've noticed...

Oh yeah, let's also make our candidate a Muslim.  Our MainStreamMedia just luuuuuvs Muslims!  They'll jump at any chance to tell us we're all Islamophobes for trying to protect ourselves from a people who are deep-down dedicated to killing us.  Read their little book if you doubt me...

Well, my friends, there you've got it.  A Halfrican transgender, previously female, gay lesbian, albino Gypsy Muslim, who's also a recovering felon, drug addict and alcoholic would be the ideal Democrat candidate for President of the United States. 

Oh, I forgot.  Let's make our candidate a dwarf!  Man, do we have this thing figured out, or what? 

With exception of those directly involved in the manufacture of firearms, anyone engaged in drilling for oil and gas, anyone whose ancestors had anything to do with slavery, and out-of-favor White Men, I'd guess we would have covered just about every single identity sub-group in 'Murica...

Now, I'm not looking for any thanks from the Democrat National Committee for my assistance.  If it helps in any way, just give me an ambassadorship to somewhere like you do for all the Big Donors in your Party and I'll be as happy as a clam...