More Groovy Egyptian Stuff...

I received a lot of feedback from my dozen of trusty readers following my 9/1 travelogue on Ancient Egypt and all those neat old pyramids.  Unlike religion, or politics, or modern culture, or nearly everything else, almost nobody dislikes pyramids.  

But they sure have a lot of questions about them.  And, having studied this stuff for decades, I have a lot of the answers they seek.  I identify as an expert on Ancient Egypt.  In fact, I identify as someone with multiple PhD's on the subject.  And a few other subjects, as well.  If a White woman in Washington State can identify as Black, so much so they make her Prez of the local branch of the NAACP, I can surely identify as a glasses-wearing, cane-needing, snappy-dressing Indiana Jones.

And so, having so announced my identifications up front, for God and everybody to see, let us now proceed... 

I was gobsmacked to learn the true extent of "pyramidism," if that's a word, and if it isn't I just created it, in our oft-confusing world.  It seems that those who preceded us started building gigantic masonry monoliths some 12,000 years ago, and kept doing it at flank speed across at least six of our continents, and perhaps all seven over several millennia.  More on that later...

I'd guess you might be surprised to learn there are lots and lots of pyramids outside of Egypt. In fact, most are.  During the pyramid building era, which appears to have been in full swing from about 7,000 - 2,000 years ago BCE, it's estimated no less than 15,000 pyramids were built around the world!  And most of them bear a strong resemblance to each other, without any possibility they could have possibly "colluded" in their design and creation with each other.  

I'm assuming "collusion" started happening later (heh, heh.  Couldn't help myself).

For example, there are a confirmed 98 pyramids in Egypt, far more than the usually assumed 3 or 4.  They were built on both sides of the Nile for more than 400 miles of its length, over a period of more than 2,500 years.  And since the sands there have a nasty tendency to cover up almost everything given enough time, and considering the amazing advances in "LIDAR"*  technology, we can't be sure more won't be discovered in the future. 

We've discovered more than 300 pyramids in China.  And 20 in Bosnia.  And 35 in Italy.  And more in Spain and France and Croatia and Slovenia and Russia and Greece and all over Europe.  It's stunning to think all this was going on when we previously wrote them off as nothing more than pre-Bronze-Age cave-dwellers. 

Try this on for size:  We believe there are more than 10,000 full-blown, gigantic, big-time, Egyptian-style, really tall stone pyramids in Central America!  Major recent discoveries point to enormous cities in Colombia and Peru and Guatemala and the area long-since reclaimed by the jungles.  One major city has just been discovered there, which may be home to the largest pyramid in the world!  It is six football fields long and three fields wide!  Think of that:  1,800 x 900 feet!  It was thought to have served a population of more than 1,000,000 more than 500 years before Columbus set foot on some insignificant atoll in the Caribbean.  

And as I mentioned earlier, there have been many pyramidal-looking somethings discovered by Google satellite in Antarctica recently.  They look suspiciously like pyramids.  They may not be, but they may.  And expeditions are already being planned for next season to go explore them.  

But perhaps the single most astounding pyramid anywhere is the one located in Cahokia, Illinois.  Yes, Illinois.  If you'd like to find the single largest pyramid on Earth, as least to date, this one's it; more than half a mile long and a quarter mile wide!  And over 300 feet tall!  

It was built by the Cahokia Mound Builder Indians some 1,000 years ago.  Or maybe twice that, we cannot be sure.  And that's because it's made from sun-fired mud bricks, which don't lend themselves to carbon dating so very well.  But what we do know is that these "indigenous peoples," had to throw that in, were trading fools!  They got rich trading up and down the Missississisiisisiipi River with dozens of other native tribes.  Clearly, we have not given due consideration to the abilities and intellect of those who preceded us...  

Hardly a day goes by without another significant archaeological find being uncovered by one of my archaeological brethren.  Thankfully.  And I, your Loyal Scribe, The Chuckmeister, will be reading all about it so I can keep you up to date.  

No thanks necessary.  It's why God put me here...

*  LIDAR.  Light Detection and Ranging.

NOTE:  This update provided at the express request of my nephew Lucas.