The Church of Chuck

Have you heard that buying health insurance is now the law? It won't be long before you'll have to buy it or go straight to the slammer. Where, by the way, you'll get health care for free. Ironic, no? But I have an idea you may find appealing...

Some of you are aware that I am an ordained minister of the gospel. I became one back when Jimmy Carter was screwing up America and I thought I might have to start a church to avoid oppressive taxation. Turns out I didn't, but I've used my "man of the cloth" status a couple of hundred times since then to marry up nice folks and help defray my bar bills a tad. But then I heard that two types of folks are exempted from complying with this crappy new legislation. They are members of the Amish and Christian Scientist churches. Turns out these people have some sort of religious conviction against buying health insurance. Or, maybe they were scared by a heath insurance salesman. Who knows? But I'm one of those guys who never lets an idea for a new business go unmolested. So here we go...

Starting today, I'm hereby inaugurating the "First Chuckmeister Church of Scientific Christians with an Amish Leaning." All you have to do is get back to me with your request to join up, along with a donation of perhaps $5.00 to cover shipping and handling, don't you know, and I'll send you an email welcoming you to the flock. There will be no regular services (although maybe some irregular ones!), no rules except you don't have to honor the individual insurance mandate due to our deeply held religious convictions, and no actual brick and mortar church. No, you won't have to grow a beard or drive a horse and buggy. But from time to time I may send along an email with some words to live by. I'm considering some sort of tithing arrangement so I won't have to work anymore at all, but I'll get back to you on that.

So, brothers and sisters, join with me today and confound those lovely folks at the IRS. Peace be with you. I await your response...