The Secret of Life.

I'm an old guy with a bad back and I've learned a lot over the course of my life.  

I think I know finally how this whole thing wrings out.  What this whole "secret of life" thing actually means.  And here it goes...

We're born, assuming we weren't first aborted by someone in a Big Blue City seeking "healthcare," and then we start to attain adulthood.  Which involves passing through a dangerous portal called "puberty."  Which makes us go nuts.  Literally.  

At this point the guys all have one singlular goal; they look for girls to screw.  With no plans or strategies concerning marriage and families and houses and careers and 401(k)'s.  Or even tomorrow morning.  All they want is to get laid.

Girls, on the other hand, are looking for the father of their children.  They're looking for specific features in their prospective mate, like the size and shape of his nose.  And when they find him, they pull out all the stops.  They go full gangsta mode until they get that ring.  And the wedding.  And kid, after kid, after kid.  Pumping them out like a Xerox machine on steroids.  Because that's what their womb is telling them to do.  And girls follow their womb.

It all goes back to Genesis 1:28.  And God said, "Go forth, be fruitful and multiply."  All He cared about was populating the Earth He'd just busted His butt creating.  And He wasn't about to wait.  So he gave them "...dominion over the plants, and the animals, and all the fish in the seas."  And without people, those things don't mean much, right? 

BTW, having dominion isn't such a bad gig.

So God has a sense of Humor.  We know that because He afflicts us with the miracle of children, thus changing the course of our lives, often for the better.  But He first has to bind us with a mate, whose help we need to first get into, and then get through, this mess.  

Thankfully, I guess.  After meeting my to-be wife, she asked me my goal in life.  "I want a Ferrari," I said.  I then asked her the same question.  She said, "I want a dozen kids."  And we then made a deal.  I could have my Ferarri, she said, so long as she had her kids.  What a dummie!  Everybody knows you can't have a Ferrari if you have kids!  Even one is too many, much less a dozen!  Or four, in my case. 

(BTW, Rule to Live By:  One kid is one kid.  Two kids are 4 kids.  3 kids are 9 kids.  4 kids are 16 kids.  Etc., etc). 

But it's all a part of the chemical trap that makes us want to pursue like crazy, and then be caught in a web of our own making, by the person of our dreams.  The Velvet Trap, as it's called. 

The Secret of Life is why He put us here.  And so who are we not to oblige?