Memo to Paul Pelosi:

A hammer don't get it.

                           Buy a gun!

No doubt you've heard by now, 82 year-old Mr. Nancy Pelosi, Paul, was attacked whilst sleeping in his palatial San Franpoopco mansion.  By a guy who was apparently looking for his (in)famous wife, San Fran Nan.  She wasn't home at the time.  She was galavanting all around the globe, in our plane, on our dime (x many $zeros), taking her final bow before she's ousted after trying her best to screw up America for the past 50 years.

Whadda' wanna' bet O'Biden appoints her as Ambassador to the Vatican.  A permanent vacation.  Fitting.  I wonder if she then gets religion?

But Paul, having just dusted himself off from a booze-filled effort to reorganize the architecture of a pricey 911SC Porsche, attempted to defend himself from his attacker using a hammer.  No information as to the manufacturer of the hammer.  Not a good choice, though.  His 42 year-old attacker, in his underwear, took the hammer away from him and beat him senseless.  Fractured his skull, the perp did.  The word is Mr. Nan is recovering from surgery in a San Fran hospital and expected to make a full recovery.  Good for him.  

Gotta' get back to that day trading off Nancy's insider trading, getting richer...and richer...and richer...

It might have been a better choice for Paul to have armed himself with one of those firearm thingies he and his crowd hates so much.  Especially now that he's aged.  Near decrepit, he is.  Had he decided to pack some heat, say a nice, light .38 revolver (my personal choice, only 14.5 oz.), or a compact semi-auto 9mm, which also makes nice neat holes, he could have simply pulled it out from under his pillow and blown his attacker away.  

Boomsky!  End of story...

I know he probably hates the term, but gun "trumps" hammer nearly every time.  I personally never go anywhere without "personal protection."  And I recommend all the other oldsters do the same.  I must admit, that phrase "personal protection" takes on an entirely new meaning when you get to be my age...  

A nice, well-fitted firearm will add about 10" to your height, BTW, and about 75 lbs. to your weight.  

And although cold and inanimate, like his wife, guns could give Paul that warm and fuzzy feeling.  Like a hot cup of cocoa after a run down the slopes.  Like a big hug from your mother.  That's because the older you get, the more you need these tools.  And women, too.  In fact, the FBI's recent stats say women are buying some 60% of all new weapons purchased.  And Black women are purchasing more than 56% of those!  What's that tell ya' a week before the Mid Term elections?  

Good for them, I say.  It was said of Samuel Colt, inventor of the famous Colt .45 Peacemaker, the Gun That Won the West, "God made women.  Sam Colt made them all equal."  

Bravo!

Paul could have opened his attacker up like a can of tuna.  He could have let the air out of him, with extreme prejudice.  Painted a nice mosaic on his chest with lead.  Emptied the magazine just to be sure he got the message.  Delivered at about 1,000 feet per second.  And he could have left a loud and reverberating message to all others who might harbor a notion of causing future harm.  He could have passed along the warning that even in the Hellhole of his wife's making, it's not nice to beat up old men...  

But no, Mr. Pelosi, and I'm guessing most other Taxifornia Liberals, believe that the job of protecting us should be left to the professionals (or a hammer?).  Those "Boys in Blue" that they've so terribly castigated and abused and mistreated over the years.  I remember when I moved to the once-Golden State of Taxifornia back in the 70's, it was a safe place to live and grow a family.  Not now.  Not after your wife got though with it, Mr. Pelosi.  Like she's now trying to do to America.  Make it a carbon copy of San Franpoopco, writ large, she wishes.  Well, Mr. Pelosi, and by extension to Nan, if she happens to read this:  

In MY world, WE quell the threats.  WE don't wait for gubmint servants to stop by and protect us when the spirit moves them.  WE'RE some of the more than 100,000,000 American gun owners proudly owning more than 453,000,000 firearms (FBI, June, 2021).  And WE'LL leave it to them to mop up the (non) crime scene and write up the report, of course.  Call CSI and the meat wagon and all that.  Tell the reporters present that it's a non-story.  It's called the "Castle Doctrine."  A citizen protects himself from a criminal attack and sends a would-be perpetrator to an early meeting with his maker.  It should be stressed that we won't judge the attacker;  we'll just move up the appointment... 

I just love it when I get the chance to gloat...