"Chuckstradamus" Predictions, Circa 2022...

'Tis a Brand New Year.  And people for some strange reason make resolutions of things they intend to do or hope to happen in the coming months.  And speaking of resolutions, I know you've been waiting for mine.  They arrive about this time every year.  And so, without further ado, or even a don't, Ta Da!!!

The Annual Chuckmeisterly Predictions, circa 2022!  This is where I publicly prognosticate as if I had any idea what the Hell I'm talking about, and you read it because you don't have anything better to do.  Right?

Right.

So, fellow Patriots, here we go:

     -  Kamala the Veep will have her incredibly annoying laugh reflex removed in a short, outpatient surgery during the New Year.  So then, when she needs to buy time to figure out what next to say, instead of baying like a rented mule, she will have a choice of, "Ya know?," and "Nomsayin?"  We'll keep you informed of the outcome as the news comes in...

     -  The price of gasoline in the New Year will be so awfully, historically, manically, indelibly high, that the DNC-bootlicking "MainStreamMedia" will begin reporting its price...in quarts.  Just like Europe does.  The have always wanted us to be more like Europe, so I guess they'll be happy...

      -  People in the New Year will begin swearing off meat and embracing veggies.  That's because the price of meat will keep going up and up, and all but the privileged few will be able to afford it.  Then, those same swells will attempt to convince the little people that being a vegan is avante garde.

      -  The Washington Football Team will adopt a new name.  It's permanent name will become, "The Washington Football Team."  Its haters will howl in protest.  What else is new?

      -  Teacher unions will vote to require their members to teach from home from now on.  They can teach through Zoom, they will argue, with complete and total safety from infection from that dreaded COVID.  And all other viruseseses and bacteria that might present themselves in the future.  And "complete and total safety" is what our society is now demanding for them, right?  

     -  Road maintenance will cease, as will all new road construction.  That's because nobody will be driving, because nobody will be buying gas, so nobody will be paying gas taxes necessary to build and maintain roads.  But nobody will notice, because nobody will be driving.  But I repeat myself...

     -  The term "customer service" will no longer be used starting in 2022.  That's because it doesn't exist anymore.  There's nobody at Customer Service to answer those infuriating phone trees to solve your perplexing problems.  And if there were, they couldn't.  Because the really important problems, the ones that cause 80% of the grief, are unsolvable.  So let's simply excise that term from our lexicon now, shall we? 

     -  Sometime late in the year the President of Guatemala will resign from office, declaring that since every Guatemalan had relocated to the United States, there will be no longer a need for the country.  He indicated his neighboring countries, including Venezuela, may soon do the same.  I'm guessing space in Texas and Arizona and New Mexico will be at a premium...

     -  Since the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Division of our Country has been told to stand down by Sleepy Joe, preventing it from catching or deporting any illegal Bad Guys for some strange reason, and since the Border door has been swung Wide Open for a year now, permitting some 2.2 Million Illegal Aliens to visit, permanently, I predict O'Biden will simply shut it down in 2022, saving more than $17 Billion Dollars a Year.  Yes, I know it's a long sentence.  I specialize in them. 

     -  Joe O'Biden will sue Jeff Dunham, the famous ventriloquist.  That's because his dummy "Walter" looks exactly like Joe.  And Joe doesn't like it.  But Dunham argues he had his dummy before Joe became the...dummy.  So Dunham will likely countersue.  Stay tuned for more info. 

     -  Aliens will land on the White House lawn in 2022.  And I'm not talking about the "illegal" kind.  I'm talking those little UFO critters.  They'll ask for Joe, but he'll be on vacation in Delaware, hiding from the press.  Oh well, another opportunity he will have wasted...

     -  There will be a minor revolt in 2022 by many of the electric vehicle owners when they finally learn that fully 54% of all the power they use to recharge their little toy cars comes from...GULP...coal and oil and natural gas!  They're supposed to be saving the planet, right?

     -  And finally, San Fran Nan Pelosi will retire from Congress in 2022 and return home to the dung heap called San Franpoopco.  And immediately run for Mayor, promising to "clean things up."  The more things change, the more things will stay the same, I guess...

So there, fellow Pilgrims, is your Predictions for 2022.  I guarantee no accuracy here, but I promise I'll come close on one or two.  Which would be a hoot in and of itself...