My Glass is Half Full...

Those who know The Chuckmeister know that I, The Chuckmeister, am an inveterate optimist.

That means they know that I'll always look high and low to try and find something positive in even the most negative, nasty, depressing, stressful and unpalatable situations imaginable.

Like now, for instance.

"So what's there to be so friggin' optimistic about, Mr. Chuckmeister," you might ask?  I mean, our new POTUS, Mr. O'Biden, the Resident of these here United States, has told us we're in for a dark winter.  Verrrry dark.  Well, fellow Patriot, I'm here to tell you why I'm being optimistic even in spite of this dire warning.  And here it is...

About 45% of the public, on average, in my humble opinion, are downright ugly.  As in, it may not hurt them to wear that face, but it sure as Hell hurts me!  I may not be 100% accurate in my 45% assumption, but I'll bet I'm pretty damn close.  Not more than a couple of degrees off in either direction.  And now that we're absolutely required by the "powers that be" to wear face masks, we are all now protected from having those 45% pollute our view.  Thankfully.  

Dayyyummm, it's like finding a diamond in a goat's ass...

We've been told by (Saint) Dr. Fausti, the Very Most Important Medical Professional in the Entire Land, the only person you can see on any TV channel at any time of the day or night, more ubiquitous even then than that pillow guy, telling you his latest ideas regarding the wearing of facial masks and the social distancing of us 'Muricans.      

Not only is Dr. Fauci the very highest paid Gummint worker in America ($445,000 a year!), he's also the only guy permitted to go on TV and guess.  Guess about almost anything having to do with our health and our freedom.  And his guesses will be considered sacrosanct by the blow-dried talking head moderators upon whose channels he puts forth his high-level prognostications.  At least for the day he puts them forth.  Or fifth, even.  

They think he's the Second Coming.  Of course, most of them don't believe in the "First coming," so do with that what you will... 

Anyway, back to ugly.  There are various degrees of ugly.  It goes all the way from moderately unattractive to all-out, stop-you-in-your-tracks, uggggg-leee!  But masks cover them all.  Thankfully.  So now you don't have to flinch when you see them.  

Thank God for small favors...

But now Dr. Fauchi, who originally told us masks don't work, is now on a multi-mask kick.  He went from not wearing one, at all, ever, to wearing one all of the time, including while engaging in sex with newly-met partners who you just hooked up with at the local gin mill, to now wearing two.  Two masks.  Two is better than one, he now tells us.  But even better (worse?) than that, he's now telling us we might want to consider wearing THREE!  Three masks!  He's one of those, "If two's good, three's better," guys.  I'm trying to picture someone wearing three masks, and all I can imagine is an entirely covered face, perhaps with the exception of a nostril.  Or two.

Buuuuut, an entirely covered face is a Godsend, if that face is...wait for it...UGLY!  Right?  Even various degrees of ugly are now covered by masks.  At least one, and perhaps as many as THREE soon!  And even though I may now miss the chance to ogle the occasional knockout, "three-alarm" babe now that the masking of our females by aged, crusty old doctors has become fashionable, yes Pilgrims, my glass is "half full."  

Better that than "half empty" with ugly people flitting around me, all thither and yon...