Update From Fortress Chuckmeister...

You'll all be pleased to know that Fortress Chuckmeister is fully stocked and ready to go for when "the balloon goes up."  You know, when folks stop talking with each other and start shooting at each other.  Civil War "Part Deux" starts.  Or something similar.

Yep, we've searched high and low and managed to fill the larders with at least a year's worth of toilet paper.  And disinfectant wipes.  Yeah, we've got lots of those.  And bottled water.  And lots of that cardboard food ready in a minute; just add water.  And ammunition.  Of all calibers.  Not only for The Chuckmeister's guns, of which he has many, but for those of my expected Fort-mates.  For when the Balloon Goes Up, once again...

Oh yeah, and wine and liquor and booze of all types.  Lots and Lots of it.  Gotta' have that, now don't we?  Seems like sometimes nothing can fix something somebody else broke, unless there's a good shot or two (or nine) of one of those adult beverages nearby.

And the moat is finally dug (thanks to all the volunteers!), and is filling with wa-wa as this is written.  Won't be long before it's full and we'll have to install the drawbridge.  Anyone know how I can get some alligator eggs?

So I've already notified the Clan as to their marching orders; what to pack, how to act, etc.  All that's necessary for when the Bad Guys seek to separate us from even more of our Constitutional rights.  Like they've been doing a little bit every single day for most of the past several decades.

Remember the story of the frog in the pot?  You toss a frog into a pot of boiling water and he'll hop right back out.  Any self-respecting frog would.  But if you put a frog in a pot of water and slowly turn up the heat he'll sit there, quietly, until he turns a bright, cherry red.  I hope we're not like that.  I'm not like that.  My Clan is not like that.

Don't you be like that...

However, things have changed rather dramatically over the past few months, I'm sure you'll agree.  You may have heard the Democrats re-took the White House and the Senate, while keeping the House.  That means we normal people are in for a ration of s**t for the next four years.  And that means we have to prepare for the uprising that's sure to follow.  Not from their election, mind you, that happens; but from their post-electoral actions and activities and excesses.  They've made it known they're coming for us, so we need to be ready for them.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.  You need to know that when the bullets get ready to fly, just make your way to Fortress Chuckmeister.  Each of my Sons-in-law have their own assigned windows to guard.  However, others who make reservations to join us will be assigned tasks in support of our collective defense, under orders of your Commander-in-Chief, The Chuckmeister.  That would be "Moi."  A trained assassin, BTW (thank you, U.S. Army!).  And an Eagle Scout with 33 merit badges.  And an Oak Leaf Cluster.  And a God and Country Award.  So you can be sure that we will be ready to parry the onslaught.  And I, for one, cannot wait.  

First come, as they say, first served (Heh, heh, served, get it?).

So, fellow Patriots, as the guy once said, "The tree of liberty needs to be refreshed with the blood of tyrants from time to time." *  (I sure hope them there tyrants don't make that necessary...)     

*  Tom Jefferson said that, in case you forgot.