The Fabulous Warthog

I've decided that I'd like to have an A-10/2 Thunderbolt.

Oh, I know, most guys like me would prefer an F-18 Hornet.  Or an F-16, at least.  Or perhaps even that "Top Gun" F-15 Eagle.  But even though it's "low and slow," as they like to say when denigrating this stallion of the air, I'll choose the famous A-10 for my preferred fighter plane.

What, you think I'm dumb for wanting a fighter plane?  You think maybe I should want a Corvette instead?  Or a Furrarrari, perhaps?  Why do I jump right straight to a fighter plane?

I mean, people can win the lotto, right?

Anyhoo, the A-10 is the brute of the airways.  Commonly called the "Warthog" by both friends and detractors, because it's down right ugly, the "Hog" has been a fixture on the scene for more than 30 years.  The reason is clear: it packs the Biggest Punch ever mounted on an airplane.  It features the 123mm GAU-8 Avenger, 7-barrel rotating cannon, capable of firing 3,900 rounds of some of the fiercest-looking, depleted uranium armor-piercing ammunition the world has ever seen.  The A-10 can immobilize a tank from 6,900 yards away!  Each round weighs about two pounds and is about the size of a beer bottle!  Each shot from this awesome cannon costs the U. S. Taxpayer $11,200.   This plane's airframe is so rugged it can carry enough firepower to take out no less than 16 battle tanks.  In fact, the airplane is designed around the gun.  The pilot sits offset to port, and the barrel of the rifle sits to his starboard at 9 o'clock.  That's because the recoil from this baby if the cannon were centered on its axis, would turn the plane on its side.  This cannon is 18 feet long!  Think about that, kiddies!  A plane wrapped around a cannon!

The Warthog is sub-sonic, with a top speed of about 420 mph.  But that's enough to have made it the P-51 Mustang of the skies (and also about the same speed, too!).  It's the No. 1 resource called upon for close air support when our troops are pinned down.  It can fly slow enough to ferret out the Bad Guys, and then lay down a withering layer of cannon or rocket fire to free up our guys in the field.  And as a former soldier, I can tell you there's nothing like the sound of a "Hog" coming in at treetop level all ready to blow the s**t out of the Bad Guys.  And when that cannon begins to fire, the smoke from it is called "The smell of freedom."

And although its low speed might subject it to enemy fire, it's built like a tank to protect the pilot.  It contains more than 150 pounds of titanium cladding around the pilot, permitting him to come in "low and slow" on protection runs without worrying about his own safety.  In other words, this plane can take a beating from enemy fire and keep on flying.  

And they are the acrobats of the air.  Any foreign fighter that tries to match flight characteristics with with a Warthog with get its wings clipped.  Various flight surface and control features enable the Warthog to perform like an acrobatic airplane, almost stopping in air, if needed, with air brakes deployed.  And there's really nothing like the sound of the cannon going off; the "BarrrrruuuuupppPPPPPP" is unmistakable.  Truly this plane has earned its "wings" many times over.

Let's put it this way:  The Warthog will fly on one wing and one engine, full of holes.  And has on many occasions.

The Air Force, having never really warmed up to this baby (it was originally ordered by the Marine Corps!), has tried to kill it a number of times over the years.  They're into the really fast stuff, and tend to feel this plane is more associated with the Army and the Marines.  Which it is.  They're not into to "close air support."  But the Army and Marine generals who have commanded troops in the field know the real value of this dangerous and truly magnificent weapon.  However, I'm happy to report that its just recently received a new lease on life.  The "powers that be" have voted to keep the Warthog in their inventory well into the next decade.

So, I'm guessing the used fighter plane lots won't have any well-worn Warthogs for sale on them anytime soon, which is just as well; I haven't won the lottery yet...