Right Idea, Wrong State...

So I was just watching an episode of "LivePD."

That's the A and E cable TV show where you get to "ride along" with the officers and deputies from around the nation as they "protect and serve." 

I have to find some way to spend all this extra time while I'm "sheltered in place," and this program is among the very best, doncha' know.

Anyway, in this particular episode a team of three shoplifters, working in tandem, were in an Arizona department store awhile back boosting clothing.  They'd each taken a dozen or so garments into the fitting rooms and put them on, one by one, layer by layer, with the intent of walking out, a bit "larger" than normal, but free and clear.

Good idea, wrong state.

It seems that an eagle-eyed employee had caught wind of this heist and called in the fuzz.  Remote cameras will do that for you.  Anyway, three deputies arrived at the fitting rooms and one-by-one hooked up the perps and carted them off to the hoosegow.  Too bad for those thieves.  They screwed up.  It seems they just picked the wrong state in which to ply their trade...

They should have gassed up there in Arizona and driven off to California.  Why?  Not for the weather.  For the immunity...

(And be sure to gas up first, because gas ((and nearly everything else)) in your state is mucho cheaper than in Taxifornia!)

California just added another amazingly stupid law to a seemingly never-ending succession of amazingly stupid laws dating back decades.  They  just passed "AB-47."  This little jewel hikes the minimum for thieves to be charged with a felony from $50.00, where it's always been, to $950.00!  $950.00!  So our 3 theoretical shoplifters could have swarmed any number of compliant stores here and boosted armloads of anything worth stealing, stopping only when they began to reach that "felonious," nearly $3,000 collective number.  

Except it's not theoretical...

The above scenario is happening thousands of times every day in California.  It's happening so often in San Franpoopco that the cops now don't even rush to try and stop it.  If the Bad Guys are still there when they arrive, IF they decide to arrive, they just casually write them a citation, on the assumption they might show up for their court date.  Might!  But there's no teeth in this law.  There is NO penalty for failing to appear.  

None!  

And even if the cops decided to arrest these miscreants, our new "no cash" bail system would mean they could just turn around and walk back out the jailhouse door.

It's gotten so bad up in San Frantaxyou that car break-ins there now exceed 60 per day.  So many are calling the cops to report break-ins that the City has now decided to simply pay for the car owners' glass breakage rather than to try and find and arrest and try the thief.  Think about that.  Their new faaaaarr-left D.A., a feckless bozo named Chesa Boudin, the offspring of 60's Weathermen Underground anarchists who were found guilty of murder, and given life, the Godson of that (in)famous Obama domestic terrorist buddy Bill Ayers, doesn't charge thieves, he simply uses taxpayer money to pay for their crimes. 

Does that make any sense to anyone?  Anyone at all?

I think not.  Yet, the "tail wags the dog" here in Taxifornia.  Our 22 "blue" counties have significantly more people in them than do the 36 "red" ones.  Thus, with a supermajority in both houses of our Legislature, they can, and DO, pass any dumbass law that tickles their Left-wing fancy.  And that fancy included AB-47.

For those of you who are now comfortably sequestered in some other place besides Taxifornia, just think: this law means shoplifting is essentially no longer illegal in the once-Golden State.  Just imagine being a shopkeeper in SFO, or LA, or anywhere else in the once-Golden State, and having gangs of roving thieves separate you from your property, in broad daylight, while you're just standing there, watching, without any fear of prosecution.  I find this just beyond belief.  Perhaps you will as well.  

But it's a fact that our left-wing leadership does not.  What a shame. 

I guess this comes from the same sort of thinking that produced "sanctuary cities."  Can you say commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies?  I can...

So I say to all our prospective shoplifters nationwide, just hop in your cars and head out west.  To San Franscrewyou.  They have lots of stores there with lots of stuff still left in them, just awaiting your visit.  At least they did before the shoplifting spree began.  But remember to bring a calculator with you.  You must not take more than $950, else you may be arrested and may be found guilty.  

And we can't have that, now can we?

P.S.  There was an armed robbery in Culver City, CA a couple of weeks back.  It turned into a freeway car chase and a shootout with the police.  The thief was caught and arrested and taken to jail.  Good, right?  More Bad Guys off the streets, right?  Wrong-O!  He was immediately charged with a major felony.  And, due to the new Los Angeles Country District Attorney's rulings, under the auspices of AB-47, he was issued a summons and...and immediately released back on the streets, without bail.  

Ridiculous, huh?  It gets worse.  This guy stole 2 more cars that same night and was arrested two more times for doing so.  And twice more he was charged and released.  With another summons.  Released.  Presumably to terrorize some other poor citizen.  

No wonder the sales of new firearms here was up 85% last month...    

So, in conclusion, fellow Patriots, I issue this invitation to all prospective shoplifters nationwide:  be sure to bring your masks.  While we now allow, even welcome shoplifting, please make it known we do not condone those who fail to follow our mask and "social distancing" guidelines.  Just remember to remain six feet apart as you commit your crimes.     

A state has to have some standards, right?