"Shoplifting for Fun and Profit!"

Hi folks!  Have you heard about our Assembly Bill AB-5?  You know, our law that passed our commie legislature a few years back that ups the amount at which felonies are triggered here in the once-Golden State of California?

No?  Well it goes like this:  If you steal over $50 anywhere else, it's a felony.  Here?  It's now....$950.00!

Why?  Some Progressive somewhere decided that homeless people need to eat.  And since they don't have any money, they have to steal.  And it's just plain unfair to jail them for stealing $50.  After all, they're probably stealing from somebody who stole it from somebody else, right?  And the cost of food is waaaay up, doncha' know.  And we need to be more understanding, right?  

Unless you're the shopkeeper who watches a gang of shoplifters steal you blind and not be able to do anything about it.  And you can't do anything about it, because if you call the cops, all they'll do is write the thief a ticket.  If the thief(ves) is still around, that is.  And even if he is, he'll just get a court date.  And if he doesn't appear in court?  Nothing.  Zip.  Nada.  There's no mechanism in this law, no procedure, to issue a warrant and hunt them down.  They just get away with it.  Over and over.  

And over.

Sooooo, I'm thinking that working for a living is just plain dumb.  You may be thinking that as well.  How about we just start stealing for a living?  After all, it seems to be State-sanctioned!  Need a nice country ham?  Albertson's has nice juicy ones I hear.  Need a quart of Jack Daniels?  There's a liquor store right down on the corner just awaiting your visit.  Need a new TV?  Best Buy has a nice selection.  So does Costco.  And remember, it's best to shop at your local stores.  We like to keep the business local, now don't we?

So, boys and girls, and those who aren't either but "identify" as the other one, or something, you're witnessing the Beginning of the End of California.  And I tend to think it's Suicide By Success.  The more successful we get, the more people want...of stuff other people have.  We Californians have chosen full-on, all-out socialists to (mis)manage our once-great State.  And we're now paying the price.  And that price is yuuuuuuuge!  

Seven Fortune 500 Companies have already bailed on CA, including Toyota, Carl's Jr., Occidental Petroleum and Nabisco.  We've lost more than 1,000,000 of our middle-class citizens to other states.  And we've been forced to accede to dozens and dozens of stupid, wasteful and downright idiotic laws.  

Laws which have divided us, and which will continue to do so as we further devolve into a quagmire of socialistic hedonism.  But at least we do not yet have to buy a license to gaze at the stars.  New York City just passed that law.  It's true, I'm sorry to say.  If you want to gaze at the stars in Central Park, you now have to buy a license.  No, I'm not kidding.  California, are you listening?  There's another law you've so far missed passing.  Get to work.  You're missing out on another prospective revenue stream...