Opioids and Older Folks...

Did you know that older folks experience more pain than the average American?    

Well, they do (DUH!).

And, I, The Chuckmeister, your Scribe-in-Residence and Proud American am a sterling example. 

And for this intractable pain I suffer, I'm prescribed opioids.  After four spinal fusions, I'm left with ongoing, 24/7 pain of such incredible intensity that it would surely knock a Clydesdale to its knees.  

And for it, I take opioids, religiously, four times a day.  

I used to take them six times a day, and then five times a day, but the Federal Government decided - without first consulting me, or any other sufferer - that I just didn't need that many doses.  And so they've been trying to wien me and millions of other seniors off the most effective pain-killer currently available.

Hmmmmm...

We've all found out why of late.  Turns out the boys in Big Pharma discovered that they could make a $Mint by producing these little jewels by the millions and turning their heads just a bit when the time came to pick distributors for their goods.  They always seemed to pick the ones which bought the most tonnage.  Funny...

And a few of them messed up the playpen for the rest of the pack.  I've read there's a town of only 3,000 in Kentucky whose 9 pharmacies ordered and distributed more than 9,000,000 doses of Hydrocodone and Oxycontin in just one year!  Ummm, yeah.  Do the math.  That's like, ummm, like quite a lot!    

So, the FDA and the DOJ and the HSA and the BSA and the CIA and the NBA and the AAA and the ASPCA and who knows who else lept into action!  They started tightening down on production, trying to squeeze down illegal distribution.  And in the process, forcing those in need of these vital painkillers to do with less.  First, six a day.  Then five.  And now,  four...

It's been tough.  It was tough for me with 6 a day.  But needless to say, I have no choice.  I have to adapt.  And I do, sort of, with the assistance of a lot of cabernet sauvignon, sangiovese and syrah.  And an occasional beer or two.  

And oh yeah, I thought I'd mention.  On my last visit to the pain doctor I was offered a stark choice: The Feds told them to tell me and everybody else that I could continue to get my Rx's for opioids, but only if I agreed to purchase and maintain on hand Narcan, the antidote to opioid overdose.  (!)  (!)  (!)

So I've been soothing my pain with opioids for 25 years, and there's NOW a chance I would overdose?

So I had to cough up more than $90.00 in co-pay as a bribe so that I could continue to receive my drugs. And if I hadn't, no meds.  I wonder if the Narcan folks had anything to do with that?  

Has life made me this cynical, or am I just cynical because...everyone with any sense is cynical?

So I go to sleep at night knowing that we're all safe and comfy because people who wouldn't want to waste vital painkillers by taking too many at one time, can now bring themselves back from a never-to-happen overdose...should it ever happen.

Which it won't.

P.S.  I keep the Narcan in my glovebox just in case I happen to come across a junkie on the side of the road somewhere who's overdosed, so I can leap into action, be a hero and bring them back to life, proving to one and all that my Eagle Scout badge was not earned in vain. 

But first, I'll be requiring up-front payment of my $90.00...