"Viewer Discretion is Advised"

I'd like to ask you a question.

I'd like to know if you're as infuriated as am I, and insulted, when you see those infernal "Viewer Discretion is Advised" taglines streaming across the bottom of your TV screen? 

You turned on the TV, you grabbed your remote, you picked the channel, and you selected the program.  After presumably learning what it's all about.  So I would think you'd need no "warning" about its contents about to spew forth.  Or fifth, even (yuk, yuk).   

Usually preceded by, 

"Foul language, sexual situations, pedophilia, Conservatism, gunfire, pictures of happy families, the hunting of innocent animals, war, loud noises, blood spurting, and the mentioning of God or illegal Aliens." 

As if to say, "We know you're a lily-livered pu*sy, so you might want to cover your miserable, overprivileged eyes and stick your fingers in your ears, at what we're about to show you.  Or else you might wind up terminally offended.  And want to go protest somewhere.  Or throw paint on old Masters.  Or glue your hands to the highway.  Or assume the prenatal position and suck your thumb." 

Cop shows.  And firefighter/1st Responder shows.  And doctor shows.  And military shows.  And reality shows.  And every other kind of show you might realistically see.  If they screen it, they've added that disclaimer.  Written by some $800 an hour lawyer.  A warning so if that if you, the viewer, get somehow shocked and/or offended, it won't be their fault.  So you won't be able to sue.  Hopefully.  

Maybe.   

But since lawyers are now ubiquitous, I mean, every family's got one (what, you don't?), he/she/it can file a lawsuit for a filing fee of $100.00.  And since you don't have to pay little Johnnie, or Suzie, or Sky, the family lawyer, you can ride it out with a smile on your face.  They'll likely settle a "nuisance" lawsuit for $100 Grand or so, enabling you and Johnnie or Suzie or Sky to splurge at the local steak house.  And cause an entire 'nother round of those infernal "warnings" to be visited upon our friends and neighbors before the program can start.

Remember the fat old babe who poured her MickeyD's coffee in her lap?  And scorched her no-longer-needed nether region?  She got a $Million.  Back when a $Million was a $Million.

All this started back in 1994 when "Home Box Office" was forced by the Gubmint to come up with advisories to protect our little kiddos.  That's where the "G, R and X" came from.  It was meant for cable channels, but gravitated to broadcast shortly thereafter.  And soon it was on just about every dammm program they offered.  Don't know about you, but I don't need anyone telling me what to be offended about.  Frankly, if you'd lived my life, it would take one Hell of a lot to offend you.  

I think those infernal warnings should be limited to graphic violence.  Violence so eggregious it would shock the conscience of Americans.  Like car crashes with bits of arms and legs flying in all directions.    

And kidnappings and rapes and mass murders and dismemberments with a Skil saw.  Which occurs almost always in those Big Blue Cities.  Controlled by Democrats, almost exclusively.*  For decades!  And almost any other thing that might trigger some poor soul teetering on the edge of reality out there in TV land!  Or it just might make one "uncomfortable!"  That watchword of the 21st Century.  And lots of other stuff that could warrant me using an exclamation point "!"  

And you know how I just luuuuv to use those "!'s!"

Back to that old lady who snagged the $1 Million over a dropped cup of hot coffee in her unproductive area?   Well, my area's unproductive also and I'm tired of sitting here watching my $money lose its value through Bidenflation.  So I'm going to the local MickeyD's and ordering one of those $8 coffees.  I'll bring my lawyer with me.  'Cause we have more lawyers now than there are guests at Rykers Island, doncha' know.  So why not bring them along, just in case?  I mean, they have nothing to do after law school except study for the Bar exam, right?  And even after they pass, if they do, they'll be driving part-time for Uber to make ends meet.  I'll keep you informed as to how the lawsuit's going.

I saw a rerun of "Saving Private Ryan" on one of the cable channels recently, which prompted this spleen venting.  It was made before the word "woke" was a word.  But now it comes with a viewer "warning."  About what?  War?  Blood?  Guts?  Isn't that kind of what it's all about?  Especially now, in this, the 80th Anniversary of the D-Day landing?  Seems to me we need another war to get our priorities straight.  

When, exactly, did we shed our  masculinity?  Our bravery?  Our sense of patriotism?  Do we really need to be warned about life?  And all this begs the question:  Just who, exactly, decides which shows to tag?  And were they bullied on the playground as a kid?  Getting wet willies and their BVD's pulled all up real tight in the crotch, doncha' know?

I'm guessing the Russians and the Chinese are laughing their commie as*es off...    

*    34 out of 40 of our Biggest and Bluest cities' mayors are Democrats.  Only 6 are Republicans.  Makes my point.