Bathroom Prose.

Do you know how long it takes to take a poop?

If you ask Google how long it should take to do a Number Two, it'll tell you somewhere between 2 and 3 minutes.

Or, it goes on to say, as long as 10 - 15 minutes.  It does not offer an average.

But I do.

My own personal research tells me it's about 5 - 7 minutes.  On average.  That's assuming you're "regular."  You're not having to take Metamucil, or Bisocodyl, or any other aid to facilitating pooping.  

Which is how long, BTW, it takes to read my humble little blog postings.

Yes, Fellow Patriots, I long ago decided to make my blog postings longer than an email, and shorter than a short story.  Just about the time it takes to take a poop.  Around 5 - 7 minutes.  If you've got the runs, save my postings for later.  If you're heavily impacted, you'll then have a few to catch up on while you wait.  

Brilliant, huh?

Go back and check, if you'd like.  All my postings are about the same length.  On purpose.  So you'll decide not to read them until you've got time.  So you can concentrate on the message.  And the only time you'll get during the course of a day to concentrate, away from the distractions of life, is when you close the bathroom door behind you.  And focus on some good reading.  Which I hope you'll agree I offer...

The "Drudge Report" looks at 300 or 400 stories each morning and then selects 50 to feature.  I, on the other hand, look through hundreds of stories until I find "the one" I look to feature.  The one that inspires me to learn more about it, and then homogenize it into a feature story.  One designed to be read whilst my Fellow Patriots have the time and are most able to read them.

Life today is a cacophany of noises and interruptions.  The Harvard Business Review tells us we're innundated by more than 3,000 individual marketing messages every day.  Folks trying to sell you something.  The radios and the TV's and the Social Media tripe focused on lightening your wallet.  I say, relax!  Put the noise behind you, close the door and read my blog postings.  You'll sometimes get so irritated at the crap I choose feature it might even be easier for you to crap!  

I'm thinking it will work at least as well as Metamucil...