Pain Management is a Pain!

 Likely as not, "seasoned" 'Muricans like me, and perhaps you, take a pain pill or two to get through the day.

Or perhaps more than one or two.

In my case, it's all the Federal Gubmint permits me.  I'd certainly like more, but it's No Way, Jose.  The Gubmint stuck it's gigantic nose in my business about 15 years ago and has been tightening the screws ever since.  And it's worth some figurative ink to tell you about it.

Way back about 25 years ago I hurt my back.  And I was prescribed 6 Vicodin (Hydrocodone) a day.  That's a popular pain medication that also happens to be an "opiate."  

Well now!  It seems that a particular family that makes the stuff (Purdue) I was prescribed dumped loads of the stuff all over Kentucky.  At one time 90% of the population of Kentucky had been given a prescription for the stuff.  Whether they knew it or not.

And whether that was true or not, or simply faked, matters not.  It seems like everybody in Kentucky wound up an addict and toothless.  And the Gubmint then chose to get involved.

The Beast was awakened.

The first thing that HHS did was reduce my Vicodin supply to 5 a day from the previous 6.  Why?  No one ever told me.  I think it was a knee-jerk reaction to the Kentucky mess, but what it meant to me was an increased level of pain.  

Tough nuggies, Veteran citizen!  Your Gubmint don't 'splain and don't care!

And then about 10 years ago the Gubmint's HHS decided to reduce my Vicodin dosage once again. They decided I could get along quite nicely on only 4 pills a day!  So 25 years ago my pain was tolerable with 6 pills.  Now, 25 years later, the reason for my pain has worsened, and I get only 4 pain pills to handle it.  It's a net lose-lose!  

And if you take a trip to Tiajowannnna and try and buy some, you'll likely wind up with Fentanyl and be dead by morning.  I believe they call that a "Choice Between Negatives."

Jeeesh!

And to make matters worse, not only must I get along with only 4 pills a day, I have to visit a "Pain Management Specialist" every month before I can get the prescription for those measly pills!  I have to drive to a pain doctor who will simply verify that I am still vertical.  I guess.  They weigh me, and take my blood pressure.  For what reason I've never learned.  Maybe it's a layer of insurance in case us old folks drop dead in their exam room. 

Since they're not my doctor, and aren't in charge of my health care, I know of no other reason to insert such an unnecessary individual between a primary care physician and his patient.

Unless somebody's getting paid off.

And God help us all, there are thousands who are getting paid off.

This pain doctor's waiting room I'm required to visit usually looks like the bar scene from Star Wars.  Old, creaky, wounded, limping, hurting, often drug-addicted/addled oldsters and Veterans on walkers or canes, who must stop by this waste of time in order to get their tickets punched.  The only reason I can think of is to keep the family doctor from self-prescribing (it happened a lot, to be fair).  Or writing ghost scripts which likely occured in Kentucky.  

Anyway, it's a waste.  And in the 9 years I've been forced to stop by my pain guy's office...I've never met the pain guy.  Only his physician's assistant.  Who takes my blood pressure, then asks me robotically how I am, and then leaves the exam room.  For no apparent reason, as they do not practice medicine.  They only permit medicine to be practiced!  I could literally leave my car running out front for all the time this takes.

And get this:  MediCare, the folks who underwrite all basic and HMO and most PPO plans, pays this pain guy $256.12 for this visit.  Five minutes!  

In my next life I want to come back as a Pain Guy.  All they have to do is verify people are still alive and our Gubmint pays them $256 bucks.  Each.  All day long.  

Are we dumb, or what?

Just think about the millions and millions of Senior Citizens who waste their valuable time, effort, energy and money, which they don't have so very much of, engaging in this folly.  I hate waste.  I particularly hate the waste of my own time.

I have written letters to ombudsmen and TV stations and MediCare and MediCal about this dummass process, and to date, no response.  If you know anyone who knows anyone who can fix this outrage before I keel over, dm me and let's talk...