RIP, Vic...

Yesterday, June 15th, 2023, my best friend Victor Arbuzow passed away at 8:53 a.m. from complications associated with heart disease.  

He and I saw each other only this past Sunday at my grandson Lucas' high school graduation party.  He looked as always; smiling, jovial, robust, hearty.  Yet, that same heart stopped Wednesday afternoon at 3:30, and could not be restarted for 12 minutes despite aggressive CPR.  He was rushed to a local hospital ICU and was placed on a "do not resuscitate."  

And as I said, he passed away yesterday morning.  Shockingly.  I was not ready for this.  We were not ready for this...

I'd known Vic for more than 48 years.  My wife Elaine, Vic's sis-in-law, introduced me to him upon our first trip to New York City.  The home of them both.  And me, a kid from a tiny town in the Upper Midwest, was rather overwhelmed by it all.  Yet he, although younger (he was almost 73 at his passing), took me under his wing and ushered me through the process of becoming his brother-in-law.  His very POLISH Catholic brother-in-law.  For his verrrry POLISH Catholic family.  

Which I did on 4/20/77.  He actually supplied his decked-out conversion van as our limo.  He was always there for us, until we got on our feet, and then were often there for them.  He and MaryAnne, his beloved wife and Elaine's sister.  We went everywhere together.  Elaine and I even hired Mare to work for our company.  They lived down the street.  We were in each other's homes daily.  Like that... 

Did I mention that Vic was the funniest guy I ever met?  Well, he was.  He looked like Rodney Dangerfield, and could do a spot-on immitation of him upon request.  A like 9 out of 10 immitation.  he was jovial, humorous, profane, hyper-religious (an oxymoron?), and always full of good cheer.  Always.  And as full of Hell as anyone I've ever met...

Have you ever known anyone who instantly commanded the room, no matter when, or what time?  Who could make life-long friends in an instant?  Who could get you to forgive his flaws like you would for no one else?

He and I got into waaaay more trouble over the decades then I can, or should, relate.  And it was all his fault.  Ahem.  I'd come to NYC on one of our two or three-times a year vacays, and we'd proceed to cause all sorts of grief!  Listen to this:  Vic had this famously enormous appetite, see, so we'd hop in his car to get away from the kids.  He had two and I had four.  He'd pick a restaurant at random.  He'd say, "Just follow my lead.  And look important."  

We'd enter, often late on a weekend evening, and he'd flash an obviously phony badge.  Obvious to me, anyway, not them.  He'd tell the owner that we were from the Health Department, come to check on his food.  And the way Vic would tell them he could do that...was by ordering up plates of their food which we'd then consume!  With wine!  All on the house!   And when he'd agree to give them a passing grade, they'd nearly kiss his hands!  

Are you reading this!  

And he (we) didn't do this once.  Or three or four times.  I'd guess we pulled this prank at least twenty times over several of my visits.  With nary a snag.  No questions asked.  And even though I'm a world-class salesman, I always let Vic take the lead on these missions.  For they were his province.  I found/find it amazing that restaurant owners would roll over for something like this,* but he (we) sure did take advantage of it.

And poker games.  We had at least one all-night poker game on every single one of my visits to NYC over a 30-year period.  And it was all the Usual Characters.  Besides Vic and me, there was Richie, and Horsey, And Rudy, and Danny, and Augie, and many, many others.  And I wish we'd taped them, 'cause they'd be cable gold.  And all of this was choreographed by Vic.

Then there was the time 25 or-so years ago that Vic wanted to buy one of his daughters a car.  So I picked him up and we started checking out used car lots in Huntington Beach.  That's in Taxifornia, friends.

He had $4,000 in his pocket in case he found something we liked (a bunch of dough back then).  Vic happened to choose a back street for a u-turn so we could enter a particular lot and we were swarmed by HB's finest.  Or in our case, somewhat less than.  I was driving my all blacked out Q-45 with smoked windows.  I thought "murdered-out" looked cool.  They thought I was a drug dealer, as evidenced by the way they treated us.  

You've seen the action on COPS, I'm sure.  Felony stop, face down on the ground, cuffed and thrown in the back seat of a cruiser.  Roughed up, screamed at, deprived of our Constitutional Rights and civil liberties.  Treated like sh*t.  What else is new?  Yawnnn!  Tell somebody who cares!

They put us in the tank for more than 12 hours, then grilled us for another two.  Vic and I made a pact to remain silent once this began to unfold.  When they couldn't get anything out of us, they kicked us, at dawn, to walk home.  Five miles away.  Because they'd towed my car.  

Then I got to ransom my car back from the tow truck thieves the next morning for $245.00.  They tossed the trunk, pulled up the mats, and then disconnected the battery.  On a-then $40,000 car.  Equivelent to $80,000 today.  Were they simply jealous?    

Vic loved his two girls, Marie and Michele.  And his grandkids.  He was a family man of the first magnitude.  It's a shame his heart gave out and took him from this gauzy plane of existence.  A bit early, most would say, but he still lived a full and joyfull and important life.  He will certainly be missed.

The Pharoahs of ancient Egypt were of the belief that if their names continued to be uttered by successive generations, then they would earn their preffered afterlives, up there among the stars.  If they were correct, then Vic can be assured that his deep faith in Christ and the friends he made while with us will go a long way toward helping him secure a seat at the side of his Lord.  Forever.

I'm frankly shocked at Vic's untimely passing, and I'm trying to write this while processing grief.  Please let me know how I did... 

*   You watched the Sopranos, right?  Yeah.  And Vic could have had a lead role...