Disabled Thieves, Rejoice!

First, lemme' say something that all my readers can agree with:  "All baby mammals are cute."

There.  I said it.  We're all now filled to the brim with the warm and fuzzies, and thus I shall put forth my latest spleen vent**  Here goes...

Praise Jesus!  This is almost as good as having my infirmaties taken away!

One of California's many State senators (we hire the handicapped) just made it sooooo much easier for us disabled folk to get in on The Action.

The Action?  I'm talking about shoplifting, folks!  Living Better For Less!  The Five Finger Discount!  The new Gold Rush here in the once-Great State of Taxifornia.

"They" have stuff.  "We" want it.  "They" want to be paid.  "We" say "Do you know where you are?"

Yep, Dave Cortese (D-San Jose) sponsored a brand new law, to be added to the 366,664 laws we already have on the books in the Once-Great State, which nearly all of our police commit to memory, no doubt, during their 668 hours of Police Academy training, to make it illegal for employees to go after those who are stealing stuff from their stores.*  

'Cause they might get hurt.

Ummm, what?

Think about that.  Senate Bill 553, so far unnamed, would make it a misdemeanor for the cashier at a Wal-Mart to chase down a perpetrator.  'Cause he/she/it might get bruised.  Can't have that, now can we?  So the thief gets away (the D.A. would have no cash-bonded him out before noon anyway), but we have the cashier?

Is this Bizzzzzzarro World?  

We all know you can steal up to $995.00 per day, per store, and face no further whiplash than a $50.00 ticket to appear.  For a misdemeanor.  Without an appearance date.  And that's only if a cop shows up.  And there's damn few of them these days, I might add, so showing up seldom happens.  So we're talking wanton thievery, here folks, delivered on a Grand Scale.  Making it impossible for businesses to turn a profit.  Forcing many of them to abandon their stores and run for the exits.

9,765 people left San Franpoopco last year.  That's 5.7% of their entire population.  Among the more than 400,000 who bailed from our failed State.  Won't be long before there's nobody left to chase theives!

So I, The Chuckmeister, being a disabled person who would otherwise like to get in on that Gold Rush, have been quite upset at my Uber-Liberal Gubmint here for not accommodating me.  In fact, I was about to file suit against the Gubmint for not making shoplifting more accessible to aged citizens with infirmities.  While needing a walker.  But now they have.

Disabled Thievery Tourism is on the way.  Assuming there are any businesses still open to rob.***  

*     Although not good at much, I am famous for my long and convoluted sentences.  And they're FREEEE!

**   Thank you so much for permitting me to vent my spleen on a regular basis, thus enabling me to retain some semblance of sanity in these insane times...

***  NOTE:  No guarantee expressed or implied is offered that any business will still be open by the time you get finally get here...