How's a Guy Supposed to Get Laid?

Looking back, I had it pretty easy.

If I saw a hot chick at the other end of the bar, and she wasn't wearing a Harley-Davidson motocycle chain around her neck, I'd assume she was heterosexual.  As in, "normal."  

As in, we had no reason to suspect anything else.  When I was a young guy trying to get laid there were only two genders from which to select; men and women.  And those pretending to be men and/or women.  

You could go into bars, or gyms, or classrooms, or supermarkets, or the local airport, and if you saw a woman, you could be almost certain that she was a woman.  As in, presumably in, or desirous of becoming involved in, a heterosexual relationship.  As in, having babies, or wishing to.  Making "boom boom."  Like that.  

And if you were desirous of casual sex, your main goal would be to avoid those sticky relationships so you could continue your hunt.  Like a lion on the Serengheti.  Your "man-card" would command it.  Notches on the old belt.  Gotta' compete, right? 

But not now.  Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO!  I can't comment on other states, but here in California we now have 

                       57 genders!  

No sh*t!  

When I heard that some commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies were proclaiming that a few years back I chuckled to myself, thinking it was all a joke.  It's NO JOKE!  We've got people so confused about there sexuality here that there's almost not enough genders to go around!  

See that cute chick at the other end of the bar?  She might be one of those "genderfluid" folks you now read about.  Whatever that is.  She also might have a Johnson longer than yours.  They have so many confused folks they have a bunch of letters to go by.  Maybe they ought to have to print little cards to pass out upon entering a pick-up place explaining their particular affliction.  'Cause I can just imagine what might happen if an errant pass just happened to land on a lesbian MMA fighter in a bad mood.  I mean, I've risked getting popped for some of my better pickup lines, but I'd need to know the chromosome count now before unleashing them.**

I guess that's why, for the very first time, our birth rate has failed to achieve a replacement level.*  As in, more died last year than were born.  Maybe the explosion of genders might just have forced young, eligible, horny men to decide to take a ride with Rosy and her five daughters...than to go looking for a little action from one of those daughters...

*     Department of Health and Human Services, 2023 

**    Were you hurt when you fell from Heaven?