Pssst!

    CONFIDENTIAL!      CONFIDENTIAL! 

Now, this is just between you and me, okay?  

I think I have it on good authority as to why we don't have any information yet about all those "UFO's" O'Biden's Air Force has shooting down all willy nilly during the past week or so.

I have a cousin in D.C. who knows a guy who dates a secretary in the Defense Department, who's supposed to work in some sort of intelligence operation there.  And she let me in on the real reason she thinks the  Mumbler-in-Chief hasn't told us why, for the very first time in NORAD's 60-year history, we've shot stuff out of our sky.  Multiple times.  With expensive rockets.  Verrrry expensive rockets.  

Whether Chinese, or some other military, scientific or commercial application, it's because they just do not know!  Even after spending some $887,000,000,000 (that's $Billion!) on our defense budget, we can't figure out what our F-16's just shot out of the sky!  Wouldn't it have been a good idea to KNOW what you were shooting at before you shot at it?  

Or is that just old fashioned me?

And the reason for that is they all went down over water.  The one over Alaska went down over watery ice.  Or icy water, whatever.  The one Canada's dictator asked us to use one of our $400,000 Sidewinder missiles to blow out of his socialist sky went down over their open waters.  And the third one took a dive into our Lake Huron.  Has this O'Biden guy got an aversion to bringing down his targets over terra firma?  Where they'd be easy to scoop up? 

Plus, of course, the original Chinese balloon the size of three football fields, with a payload the size of O'Biden's ego that went down off the coast of South Carolina, after having taken a leisurely tour of all of our most sensitive intercontinental missile bases along the way.  Can't forget that one, now can we?

I guess their check cashed.  (Ahem.)

So all the payloads of these "objects" are sitting at the bottom of some watery grave somewhere, awaiting our Navy divers to go down there and scoop them up.  

Exceeeppppttt... 

What my cousin told me on the Q.T. is that...

...all our Navy divers have been kicked out because they wouldn't get vaccinated!  

So there's nobody to send.  Can't swear to it, but that's the G-2.  The word on the street.  I'm guessing we'll have to wait for them to train some new ones who've undergone the needle.  And all the current equity, diversity and ya da, ya da training, too, I'm guessing...

Now remember, keep this on the Q.T.  Wouldn't want anybody thinking our Gubmint is being run by a bunch of overeducated, underexperienced, incompetent, bumbling, gang-that-couldn't-shoot-strait as*holes, now would we?

(BTW, if anyone out there is missing their Hobby Lobby $12.00 balloon, the Defense Department would like you to call 212-DUM BASS at your earliest convenience.  And if you're a vaccinated deep sea diver, call the U.S. NAVY at 1-800 WHOOOPS.)