The "24-Hour Rule"

My dearly departed wife Elaine and I were strong willed people.

We fought like the proverbial cats and dogs in the early days of our relationship.  We we each wanted to do it "our way," and found it difficult to give up our individuality.  And we fought over the most inane and inconsequential things.  Things not worth fighting for.  But we were in essence just fighting for dominance.  For control.  Stupid, if you wish the relationship to blossom...

Or, so I thought.  To myself.  While out driving around trying to cool off after a particularly loud and nasty fight.  So I came up with a plan.  A plan I thought could help to solve our problems as they arose.  Not after they'd been simmering for days.  In short, that was the question: how to stop a fight before it gains traction.  And I thought I had the answer...  

So I drove home, apologized to Elaine for whatever she'd done earlier in the evening (ahem), and then shared with her my brainstorm:  

             "The "24-Hour Rule."  

And now I'll share it with you...

     -  No matter what your partner does, no matter how mean or nasty or soul-crushing or unfair your partner might act, you have "24 hours" to express your displeasure.  In any way you deem appropriate.  However, after that, after tomorrow has come and gone, the matter will be closed.  It will not be permitted to simmer.  It will be over.  Forever!  It may never be brought up again in an argument.  Deal with it...

Elaine listened to my idea.  She thought for a moment, then said, "Let's give it a try."  That was in the first year of our almost 38 year marriage.  A marriage in which we not only lived together and had four kids together, we also started and ran a 24-hour medical services company, together.  And out of our house in the early years.  This forced us to work together, side-by-side, every hour of every day, for almost 38 years.  

Did we have disagreements?  YES!  Almost every day.  But we worked them out.  Quickly.  We accorded each other the respect we ourselves wanted, and got to a settlement macht schnell.  

We learned that bringing our work home was a bad idea.  We thought it was unfair to our girls to subject them to the vagaries of our business, so we just zipped it as the car turned into the driveway.  And it worked.  Famously.

We told everyone we knew about our "24-Hour Rule," and now I'm telling you.  Adopt it.  It worked for me.  For us.  And if your relationship is a bit rocky, and you'd like to right the ship, this just might put it back on track.  

You're welcome...