Say it, SUV's Are Ugly...

As in, uggg - leeee!  

They are short, squatty, tall-ish and a "soccer mom" looking means of convenience.  Pushed in toward the middle from both ends, and up toward the top from the bottom.  

Not a stylish sedan, two- or even four-door, or even the classic station wagon, the SUV seems to be a convergence of the two.  One we didn't ask for, but needed, in my professional, car-loving opinion.  Please allow me to pontificate...

I was around when the very first "SUV" came around.  It was the 1983 Chrysler "mini-van."  In fact, my wife and me were heavy into building our family back then, so we bought the very first 1983 Plymouth Voyager to come off the car hauler in Orange County, California.  It fit our bill to a "T," as we produced 4 gorgeous daughters and carted them around in our Voyager for a couple of years.  To lots and lots of soccer games and tournaments and visits to Las Vegas and everywhere under the sun.  In fact, we wore it out, and wound up trading it for a full-blown Dodge conversion van with a back seat TV and refrigerator and separate A/C and power folding bed and rack on the roof and like that.  

And then another one...

Oh yeah, as to the building our gorgeous daughters in the mini-van.  We did that someplace else, if you really must know...

Was it beautiful?  No.  Was it utilitarian?  Yes.  And that's why we bought it.  And that's why Mr. Lee Iacocca's "hail Mary" to try and save Chrysler back then ultimately stirred the creation of today's SUV (it's a great story.  Look it up.  Or wait long enough and I just might tell you...).

Back when I was coming up there were four basic shapes of vehicles:  The four-door sedan, the two-door sedan, the station wagon and the convertible.  Oh yeah, and the pickem' up truck.  We've still got that one.  In fact, the Ford F-150 pickup is still the most popular and best selling vehicle in America today, and has been for more than 20 years.

Today?  If you squashed the four-door sedan together with the two-door sedan and the station wagon, and then made it taller by about 12," you'd have today's SUV.  And about half of our population has not lived in a Country without them.  BTW, SUV stands for "Sports Utility Vehicle."  Did you know that?  And there was very little you could call sporty about those first SUV's, but some of today's SUV's are actually more sports cars than "utility" vehicles.  If you check out the specs on the new M-B's or Audi's or Porche's or even Dodge's SUV's you'd be knocked out.  They put out as much as 707 horsepower and will accelerate from 0 - 60 in just over 3 seconds!  That's Ferrari and Corvette performance!  Of course, they'll cost you $150,000, or even more!  

And they're expected by their manufacturers to be a second, or even a third car!  

Did you know that Porsche was on the verge of bankruptcy until it launched its Cayenne SUV?  They now sell 4 Cayenne's for every 911 that rolls off the line!

So it seems the SUV has morphed from the original soccer mom conveyance that wasn't so yucchy that the man of the house would drive them sometimes, into today's 7-person sports car, which isn't so yucchy to serve as some folks' primary conveyance! 

Today's SUV continues to morph into a quicker and faster means of getting from A to B.  And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it continues to morph into a - ready for it? - a STATION WAGON again!  I've noticed that good ol' fashioned station wagons from the '50's and '60's have started to gain in price at the collector car auctions.  And I'm betting people will soon be asking themselves, if I really need an SUV, why not buy a station wagon instead?  They're lower, longer, seat the same number of people, and are down there where the rest of society hangs out.  But they're much easier to get into and out of and are much comfy-er for the family. 

Oh yeah, and because they're based upon cars, as opposed to trucks, they can be as much as 2,000 pounds lighter!  And a ton of car takes far less horsepower to pull around.  So a car with 300 hp could equal the performance of one with 200 hp more!  And they'll get a heck of a lot better gas mileage!  In this "day and age" of $7.00 a gallon gas (thanks, Brandon!) an extra 4 or 5 mpg would be appreciated!

Annnnd, because they weigh a ton less, that's a ton less steel you'll have to buy!  So station wagons will be mucho cheaper than the SUV's that replaced them, and will be replaced BY them one day probably after I'm gone.  Perhaps you could use that extra $4 or $5 or even $10 Grand?  

I don't care how you vote, this is an idea whose time has come...again!

What do you think, fellow motorists?