"Fauci Forever!"

                       "Fauci Fun Day!"

Can't get enough of Dr. Fauci?  Happy he's in charge of America's answer to the Chinese Wuhan Killer Coronavirus?  Do you swoon every time "Dr. Tony" takes to the mic and equivocates?  When he tells you wearing a mask is not necessary, until he tells you it is?  Wish there was a way you could see our "Favorite Fysician" in person?  

Well read on, fellow Patriots!  Your day is just about to be made...

Even though you've seen Dr. Anthony Fauci every Sunday morning on every single "talking head" political show, on every single TV channel for the past 15 months or so, there's a chance you've still not reached your fill.  Yes, my friends, you know that our Dr. Fauci, "America's doctor," is here to represent you.  Sort of like the Lone Ranger, riding down out of the hills to rescue you from the, ummm, Indigenous Personages, Dr. Fauci has been there for us every single step of the way.  Since the pandemic overtook our puny, insignificant lives, good ol' Dr. Tony has been there to protect us.  For which we thank him collectively.  Please bow your heads in a quiet remembrance...

But wait, there's more!  

For those who've yet to reach their "Dr. Tony" fill, and who'd like to have him at your next birthday party or bar mitzvah or graduation, listen up!  For the unbelievably small price of only $1,495.00 plus tax, plus first-class travel and lodging, of course, Dr. Tony will pop out of YOUR cake!  Or toot the ram's horn!  Or debase himself in any other way you or your group might find enjoyable to watch!  He'll speak for 8 to 10 minutes, sign autographs, and offer signed and dated, individualized and numbered face masks in numerous colors at only $5 each, and then be on off to spread his own special brand of cheer.

So call today and book your special "Fauci Fun Day!"  Remember, Dr. Tony Fauci, although America's highest paid civil servant at a tad more than $414,000,000 per year, works really hard and could still use some more.  

I hear his wife's spending necessitates it...