A Tale of Two Politicians...

The Conservative:  Once upon a time there was a disgruntled businessman.  He owned a lumberyard, or a used car lot, or a pharmacy, or a farm.  Or he toiled at one of one those businesses, for "The Man."  And he looked all around him and he saw that things were not quite right.  People were working harder than ever and keeping less and less of what they earned.  And he thought "The Government" was less and less interested and accountability to its voters.  He thought that our freedoms were being attacked by the Liberal Elite, and he was pissed about it.  And it seemed to this businessman that Gummint was catering to illegal aliens, not homeless vets.   And to the "rich," and not the Middle Class.  He said to himself over and over, "One of these days I'm gonna' go to Washington and change things!"  

And then one day he "pulled the trigger," so to speak (being a gun owner and 2nd Amendment activist).  He announced his candidacy for (name your elective Federal office) and began to campaign.  He promised from his "soapbox" that if his constituency voted for him, he'd go to Washington and "change things."  

And lo and behold!  He won!  And he went to Washington, D. C. and tried and tried and tried, but still could not effectuate meaningful, positive change.  He became more and more exasperated and despondent after a couple of terms at how bloated and unamanageable Washington had become, while all the Liberals around him were growing ever more gleeful as the Country deteriorated them.   

And so he quit the Congress and went back to the used car lot, or the lumberyard, or the pharmacy, or the farm, and got back to work, feeding his family, and likely many, many others.  He busted his ass for the rest of his natural life until he dropped dead one day from a myocardial infarct.  That's heart attack for you undereducated social media users (read a book, dumbass!).  And then the Gummint, after having picked this guy's pocket his entire life, proceeded to then tax his heirs to the tune of one-half of whatever he'd accumulated while he grew a'moulderin' in the grave...

The End.

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The Liberal:  Once upon a time there was a Liberal who was unhappy with his lot in life.  He was a postal collector, or a union leader, or a community organizer, or a lawyer, and he was not at all happy with the way things were going.  He wasn't happy that some hedge fund managers were making $Billions while he was only making $Millions.  Or that his new raise to $15 an hour for being an excellent shift leader at Woke-a-Burger STILL won't feed Starbright and the kids.  Or that his annual food stamp allotment was cut back.  Or that the state won't give him a new cell phone.  Or that making unfettered abortions available to girls everywhere is unpalatable to some stuffy Conservatives.  Or that his uncle's cousin's nephew's sister had been killed by gunfire in a drive-by in south Chicago and she wants all guns banned.  Everywhere.  Including those in Cuba and North Korea.  

And so, after years of careful thought, he decided to run for office and finally make things right.  And lo and behold!  His constituency voted him in!  And he went to Washington, D. C. for some of that Hope and Change!  

And he discovered that our pesky old Constitution kept him and his cohorts from instituting the radical change they truly desired.  You know, the kind of stuff they do in Cuba and China and Venezuela.  So all he and his sycophants could do was continually nibble around the edges of Constitutional acceptability, moving us ever closer and closer to socialism.  

And so, despite his inability to enact the "change" he desired, which was terribly disconcerting to him and all his fellow hand-wringers, he stayed in Washington, being reelected year after year, until he was offered a plum position running a Super-Pac, making a couple of $Mil a year.  Which he took, and used that springboard to replace the Most Reverend Alfonso Sharpton on MSPMS.  He wound up buying a mansion on the water in Maryland, right next to Joe O'Biden's, and retired a multi- $(M/B)ilionaire.  

Because to a Liberal, you see, the act of just GOING to Washington, D. C. to "change" things is an end in and of itself.  Odds are you couldn't blow a Liberal out of his/her/its elective office with a hand grenade!  Think about it:  Joe O'Biden, as an example, was elected to the Senate at the ripe-old-age of 29!  After having graduated somewhere near the bottom one-tenth of his class.  And after nearly being kicked out of law school for plagiarism.  And he's been in Washington, D. C. ever since!  That would be 49 years to you, fellow Patriots!  It's like hitting the lottery!  Many have.  Many more will.  And that's why America is not a perfect country...

The End.