Reparations Could get Confusing...

All of the 2020 Democrat POTUS candidates have come out in favor of reparations for the descendants of slavery.

Yes, all of them.

It seems that every now and again some delbert dufus dumbass opens his or her yap and mumbles something about pandering to all those poor Black people who just might vote for them if they could make them feel somehow inferior, or mistreated, or abused, or ignored.  And in return?  Their votes.  Early and often...

How nice.

Just vote for me, Mr. and Mrs. and Ms. Black America, they say, and we'll get White people to pay you off for what they did to your ancestors.  

Riiiight...

But what about one Ms. Kamala Harris?  She's sort of "Black-ish," to be sure.  Actually, as befits her mixed heritage, she's more of a nice shade of muted mocha, doncha' know.  And she's come out in favor of reparations.  She said "on day one" she'd cough up an Executive Order and create a committee to start redistributing some more of that "White money," toward Black folks.  

Buuuuuuut, Ms. Harris isn't "Black," in the classic sense.  She's half Jamaican, and half Indian.  Indian, as in "red dot," not "whooo whooo!"  

Which means that she's not eligible for reparations, especially considering her family on her father's side owned slaves!  Or, so said her father (!).  Nice of him, I thought, to offer that up.  He, Donald Harris, a retired Stanford economics professor emeritus, even referred to her candidacy as a "travesty," stating that her Jamaican grandparents "would be turning over in their graves."  

So, I guess she'd be one paying those reparations, right?  Even though she's "Black-ish," kind of like B. Hussein Obama was Black (he was descended from Arabs, not Africans), she wasn't the progeny of slavery sufferers, so she'd be a Prime Target for the tax man to come and get some of that money for all those Black folks.  Annnd, as a descendant of slave owners, she's the one who should be paying!

Also, she's married to a White guy, one Mr. Douglas Emhoff.  He's a 54 year-old lawyer who meddles in entertainment and copyright law.  So he'd be one of the White folks forced to pay Black folks for something somebody else did to...somebody else...way back when.  

Confused yet?  Don't worry, it'll get worse.  

Unless, of course, the Democrats manage somehow to make reparations law using only skin color as the yardstick, not heritage or history, to gauge who gets the gravy.  And if not, then Mr. Harris, excuse me, Mr. Emhoff, would have to pay.  

Tough Noogies.

And so would Kamala.  Maybe if she was forced to pay a penalty to Black folks even though she loudly proclaims her own Black-ness, that would be the knee-slapper of the decade, me thinks!  

So he'd be paying, and she'd be paying.  Is this what they had in mind?

Cory Booker, too.  His mommy and daddy were both Ivy League lawyers, infesting Wall Street with their talents.  And Cory, born in Washington, D. C., far from being held back by his heritage or skin color, matriculated first at Stanford, where he earned a Masters degree, then on to Oxford, and finally a law degree from Yale.  

Sort of a far cry from that poor Black sharecropper in Arkansas image they'd like to convey, wouldn't you say?  

So, Cory being the offspring of multi-millionaires, born on third base and thought he'd hit a triple, doncha' know, now has the challenge of somehow trying to make himself look beaten down and mistreated and spurned by "Whitey."  The ex-two term Mayor of Newark, N.J.  A city whose murder rate skyrocketed during Mr. Booker's leadership.  Good luck, Cory!  You're gonna' need it...

And then there's Liz Warren.  Here's a woman who climbed the corporate, educational, financial and political ladder under the auspices of being a Native American.  Yes, her folks always taught her that high cheekbones meant you're an Indian, she says.  Is she really that ignorant?  Maybe.  But it's a testament to the American Dream that a person of less than stellar intellect can wind up a full Professor at Harvard, teaching one, one-hour class a week, at the grand old salary of $431,000 a year, plus serving as a Senator from Masssachusetttts, at $174,000 per year, and still manage to run for President in her spare time!  Is America a great place, or what? 

Oh yeah, and to further obfuscate her sketchy history, she's just come out in favor of reparations for gay couples!  Yep, I guess if you're a good Democrat, there's just no limit to your pandering.   

BTW, even though she's all for reparations, she'd be the one paying them.  Maybe that wouldn't be so bad after all...

And then there's Wayne Messam.  Don't worry, I've never heard of him either.  He's one of the dozens and dozens running for the Dem nomination.  He's currently the Mayor of Miramar, Florida, a town of 140,000.  Yes, he's Black.  And yes, he's not African-American.  He's the progeny of Jamaicans, who emigrated here...legally...to cut sugar cane.  Not slaves, contract workers.  They obviously felt that working in America was better than being unemployed in Jamaica.  So they came here, got a job, put their little boy Wayne through school, and lived the American Dream!  Yet, he rails against slavery as if it had negatively affected him.  And yes, he is one of those steadfastly behind reparations for Blacks.  Er, I'm sure he means African-American Blacks.  Both he and Kamala are suffering from JHD.  That's "Jamaican Heritage Disease."  

Maybe if they talk often enough, and loudly enough, nobody will notice...