"Climate Same"

What's the opposite of "Climate Change, I ask?"  "Climate Same," I say.  And that's what we've got a whole lot of these days; the same...

A little background.  I'm not sure about you, but I, The Chuckmeister, have grown weary about this whole "Climate Change" thing.

First it started as "Global Warming."  That followed the belief in the early '80's that we were facing a deadly "New Ice Age" (Time, Newsweek and Harper's Magazines named it so).  And then the Earth didn't cooperate by warming much.  It just more or less stayed the same.

Tick.  Tock.  Same as always.  For those born and raised since actual teaching occurred in our colleges and universities, which has been awhile now, the "climate" changes all the time.  Sometimes it gets a little cooler, sometimes it gets a little warmer.  It's been doing that for, oh, lemme' see here: About 4.5 Billion Years!

And so they, "the more equal than you," morphed it from "Global Warming" into "Climate Change," until the climate didn't change too much.  So they lit upon their current moniker:  "Climate Chaos."  Until folks looked around and didn't see anything chaotic going on.  So they just decided to "move on" to "Climate Emergency!," with the exclamation point, their latest little scheme, which covers just about anything the weather can possibly do.  

If it gets a bit warmer, it's a "Climate Emergency!"  If it gets a little colder, it's a "Climate Emergency!"  And if it does nothing, it's still a "Climate Emergency," even if there's no apparent emergency; stick around, an emergency is just around the corner.  Those who want a big chunk of your money guar-an-damn-tees it!

Yep, it's like some sort of new religion for our younger and dumber souls, and older and should-be-wiser eco-warriors.  Oh yeah, and climate scientists in fear of losing grant money and politicians who are looking to hipppmotizzze you out of your vote.  

They bleat about how we're doomed if we don't change our ways, and that we only have 12 years to take "decisive action," whatever that means.  Otherwise, they tell us, we'll be past the "tipping point."  We're all going to roast in a fiery Hell!

And their prescription to avoid this climate catsafterme?  Stop doing everything we're doing.  Stop driving, and flying, and eating, and reproducing, and, like, everything!  Yep, we're supposed to just return to the Stone Age while the "more equal than us" continue to ride around in their little limos and shiny jet planes.  

Oh yeah, and give the Government oodles of your tax money so they can "fix" the problem.  

Bu*lsh*t!

Lemme' ask something, kind of important:  Do these people know that China and India together represent about 40% of the Earth's population?  And they together represent more than half of all carbon-based atmospheric pollutants?  And that China and India have been given a pass by the U. N. Climate Conference (Paris Climate Accords) on doing anything at all to reduce or abate their pollution?  This means they don't have to even start to reduce their pollution levels until 2030?  Did you know that?

Bu*ls*it, I say!

And did you know that all the otherwise nice folks who've been hiiipppppmmotizzzzed into thinking the climate "sky is falling" are only calling upon the U. S. of A. to destroy its own economy, and not China's nor India's?

Bu*lsh*t, I say once again!

They tell us that 96% of all climate scientists buy into this "Climate Change" thing.  True.  But did you know that 96% of all climate scientists work for the Government, or a college, university or think tank it financially supports?  

If you were a climate scientist and the Government stopped by to see how the climate is doing, and you knew your future paychecks depended on how you answered the question, I'm guessing you'd be all in for "Climate Emergency!" as well.  

So, being ever helpful (I am an Eagle Scout, doncha' know), and recognizing that these climate loonies have pretty much shot their wad as regards giving whatever is happening a proper name, I've decided to step in with a few of my own.  So here goes...

  -   "Climate Awfulness!"  
  -   "Climate Craziness!"
  -   "Climate Notsagood!"
  -   "Climate Unfriendly!"
  -   "Climate Difficulty!"
  -   "Climate Crossroad!"
  -   "Climate Distress!"
  -   "Climate Exigency!"
  -   "Climate Meltdown!"
  -   "Climate Plight!"
  -   "Climate Predicament!"
  -   "Climate Quandary!"
  -   "Climate Urgency!"
  -   "Climate Disaster!"
  -   "Climate Calamity!"
  -   "Climate Danger!"
  -   "Climate Vicissitude!"
  -   "Climate Distress!"
  -   "Climate Crisis!"
  -   "Climate Stalemate!"
  -   "Climate Plight!"
  -   "Climate Dilemma!"
  -   "Climate Imperative!"

So, courtesy of The Chuckmeister, these otherwise nice folks now have a whole slew of new little descriptive words with which to label their new religion.  They don't have to thank me.  That's why God put me here...