- FOR YOUR EYES ONLY -
Fellow Freedom Fighters: As I write this, I'm hunkered down here in my Murrieta compound, doing my best to keep out of sight so as not to be noticed by the marauding, jack-booted authorities. It's tough to avoid these zealots as they busily enact full-blown socialism here in the once-Golden, but now deeply-tarnished, leaden-footed State.
Yes, my friends, and you've got to know you're my special friends, if you're fortunate enough to live somewhere else, count yourselves among those who don't have to constantly be on their guard against those interminable searches and seizures for plastic shopping bags, guns, and, dare I say it, firewood?
Oh yeah, and plastic straws. The "more equal than you" here in the enemy camp just passed a law making it a crime punishable by 3 months in the hoooooosegow and a $1,000 fine for a min-wage waiter to offer a plastic straw to a customer without first being asked. Are you kidding me? Jeeesh!
("Hey buddy, got a straw?")
Uh, wait! Just heard the jackbooted thugs tromp on by, probably looking for our underground meeting place so they can check our papers and hike our taxes if they find out we're here legally. Somebody's got to pay for all those new "future voters," right? Or maybe to ferret out those who are lighting fires in their fireplaces. That's been illegal here for a couple of years now. If you're unfortunate enough to live in the coastal areas, contributing to "global warming" by setting a fire in your own fireplace is now a big "no-no." And that includes those 4-hour wax logs, too! They have a whole cadre of highly-paid bureaucrats, riding around in their expensive Teslas, just looking to justify their inflated salaries by issuing tickets to scofflaws for illegal fireplace fires.
Gotta' do more than our share to eliminate "Global Warming," donchaknow! Much more. After all, if we don't fix Global Warming, then who will? Yes, who?
And speaking of "Global Warming," did you hear that the Mayor of Lost Angeles just signed into law a new method of combating it? He's painting the streets of L.A. white, at a cost of more than $40,000 per mile! I guess the thinking is that white will reflect the sun's rays so that warming will be curtailed. Apparently he's unaware that the world is round and half of its population is polluting all willy nilly, and what China and India put into the air will be here in a week (daily rotation is a neat feature of the Earth!). Is there no end to the hubris displayed by these heathens? L. A. has more homeless than any other U. S. city (58,000!). And it's going to borrow $Millions to paint its streets? This may be the absolute height of stupidity.
BTW, the Mayor is also asking, sweetly, for L. A.'s residents to convert their expansive back yards into homeless shelters. Can't you just see this happening? ScarJo and Brad and Katy and Cher building little casitas on their palatial estates and welcoming their less fortunate neighbors? Ummm, I don't think so. I used ta' woulda' asked, "What's this guy smoking?" With recent changes to our maryjowanna laws, we no longer have to ask...
BTW, have you ever wondered how many years of not having to buy gas it takes to pay for the extra operating cost of one of those $130,000 electric Teslas?
Answer: 22!
Anyway, we'll never divulge the location of our secret bunker! Pluck out our fingernails! Put us on the rack! No matter what! Our lips are, as they say, sealed!
Back to the Confidential Memorandum:
Those of us who still live here have to gird our loins and prepare for the "Great Uprising." That's what I call the day when the fired-up leftist fascists who've grown tired of those who've earned their money actually trying to keep it, start house-by-house searches for guns, firewood and plastic straws. Don't know when, but it's coming. Are you ready?
In closing, I'd like to mention that only 7 of California's 58 counties are beset with the disease known as Liberalism. That's what causes them to want to tell other people how to live their lives. However, those counties contain most of CA's population, so they tend to be the "tail" that wags our "dog." And those 7 counties that nestle up against the Pacific Ocean? And the people who live there who feel they have the right - even the obligation - to tell the rest of us how to live our lives? There's something about what the salt air does to ordinary folks that just has to be investigated...
Anyway, in closing, keep your powder dry, fellow Freedom Fighters, the resistance has only just begun to fight..............
Yes, my friends, and you've got to know you're my special friends, if you're fortunate enough to live somewhere else, count yourselves among those who don't have to constantly be on their guard against those interminable searches and seizures for plastic shopping bags, guns, and, dare I say it, firewood?
Oh yeah, and plastic straws. The "more equal than you" here in the enemy camp just passed a law making it a crime punishable by 3 months in the hoooooosegow and a $1,000 fine for a min-wage waiter to offer a plastic straw to a customer without first being asked. Are you kidding me? Jeeesh!
("Hey buddy, got a straw?")
Uh, wait! Just heard the jackbooted thugs tromp on by, probably looking for our underground meeting place so they can check our papers and hike our taxes if they find out we're here legally. Somebody's got to pay for all those new "future voters," right? Or maybe to ferret out those who are lighting fires in their fireplaces. That's been illegal here for a couple of years now. If you're unfortunate enough to live in the coastal areas, contributing to "global warming" by setting a fire in your own fireplace is now a big "no-no." And that includes those 4-hour wax logs, too! They have a whole cadre of highly-paid bureaucrats, riding around in their expensive Teslas, just looking to justify their inflated salaries by issuing tickets to scofflaws for illegal fireplace fires.
Gotta' do more than our share to eliminate "Global Warming," donchaknow! Much more. After all, if we don't fix Global Warming, then who will? Yes, who?
And speaking of "Global Warming," did you hear that the Mayor of Lost Angeles just signed into law a new method of combating it? He's painting the streets of L.A. white, at a cost of more than $40,000 per mile! I guess the thinking is that white will reflect the sun's rays so that warming will be curtailed. Apparently he's unaware that the world is round and half of its population is polluting all willy nilly, and what China and India put into the air will be here in a week (daily rotation is a neat feature of the Earth!). Is there no end to the hubris displayed by these heathens? L. A. has more homeless than any other U. S. city (58,000!). And it's going to borrow $Millions to paint its streets? This may be the absolute height of stupidity.
BTW, the Mayor is also asking, sweetly, for L. A.'s residents to convert their expansive back yards into homeless shelters. Can't you just see this happening? ScarJo and Brad and Katy and Cher building little casitas on their palatial estates and welcoming their less fortunate neighbors? Ummm, I don't think so. I used ta' woulda' asked, "What's this guy smoking?" With recent changes to our maryjowanna laws, we no longer have to ask...
BTW, have you ever wondered how many years of not having to buy gas it takes to pay for the extra operating cost of one of those $130,000 electric Teslas?
Answer: 22!
Anyway, we'll never divulge the location of our secret bunker! Pluck out our fingernails! Put us on the rack! No matter what! Our lips are, as they say, sealed!
Back to the Confidential Memorandum:
Those of us who still live here have to gird our loins and prepare for the "Great Uprising." That's what I call the day when the fired-up leftist fascists who've grown tired of those who've earned their money actually trying to keep it, start house-by-house searches for guns, firewood and plastic straws. Don't know when, but it's coming. Are you ready?
In closing, I'd like to mention that only 7 of California's 58 counties are beset with the disease known as Liberalism. That's what causes them to want to tell other people how to live their lives. However, those counties contain most of CA's population, so they tend to be the "tail" that wags our "dog." And those 7 counties that nestle up against the Pacific Ocean? And the people who live there who feel they have the right - even the obligation - to tell the rest of us how to live our lives? There's something about what the salt air does to ordinary folks that just has to be investigated...
Anyway, in closing, keep your powder dry, fellow Freedom Fighters, the resistance has only just begun to fight..............
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